Tales of Green Gables
Dial 'M' for Murder
"Hippo Eats Dwarf." Azula announced as she held out the Torquay Times newspaper. "A circus dwarf died Thursday in a traveling circus visiting the city of Komatsu after falling off a trapeze and into the mouth of a yawning hippo."
"Kind of makes you question the grandeur of the Universe." Katara spoke up from behind the huge oak desk in the lobby.
"A local vet managed to disgorge the dwarf but the dwarf had succumbed." Azula tossed the paper onto the desk. "Local authorities have not ruled out foul play. I'd pay good money to see that sort of thing."
Katara gave Azula an odd look.
"Hippo eats dwarf...a possible murder." Azula chuckled.
Suki walked past Azula who was still chuckling.
"Did you have a good night?" Katara asked kindly.
"You know Azula snores?" Suki said almost apologetically. "I had a good night but I never realized someone as delicate as her could make that kind of noise."
"We placed your room on the other side of the hotel." Katara said apologetically. "That should keep the noise level acceptable."
Karo trotted through the lobby with a plate of toast and a cup of coffee. He stopped, backed up and looked at the newspaper.
"Hippo Eats Dwarf?" Karo did a double take. "You read that and have to ask how that could happen."
"How was your night?" Katara asked half sarcastically. "Did you sleep well?"
"Until that stupid rooster crowed, I slept well." Karo spoke of the local, wild chickens that roamed the wooded lot out behind the hotel. "We apologize in advance for him but we have a number of wild chickens living out on that back lot with the banyan tree."
"A hippo eats a dwarf? I'll look that up but I think its a sign of the apocalypse." Karo scratched his head. "Foul play is suspected – how would you set up that kind of a murder?"
Azula strolled back into the room. "The Bible doesn't mention hippos."
"Why do they put Bibles in the rooms?" Suki asked Azula. "My room had one in the night stand."
"We figure if you have the kind of shady moral character that steals hotel room towels," Azula leafed through the concordance, "then the moral guidance of the Bible may straighten your ways."
"Have we seen strange lights in the sky?" Karo asked as he ate toast. "Today is Sunday, perhaps we should all mosey on down to the local church."
"I have done my time playing the church organ and listening to the twelve hundred or so parishioners put a 'special' twist on hymns that really shouldn't sound like drowning cats." Azula found to her amusement that the Bible did mention hippos. She flipped to the bible verse. "No mention of dwarfs – this means the apocalypse sign count has remains at three signs."
Azula and Karo remained behind to mind the inn while Katara took Suki on a tour of the city. Suki had no working knowledge of Suihan and needed the help of a proficient translator for the full experience of Torquay on a hot afternoon.
Suki's doctor wished to make sure she had very little to do.
Azula heard the sound of a piano mechanism striking metal bars. She hoped Karo had found some odd form of music on the radio in their room.
She looked into a room called the parlor. She had not yet gone into it because Karo had only gone in a few minutes ago to change the light bulb. She followed the hollow metal noise to the parlor and opened the dark wooden door and looked into the dark room. Whatever tastes the former owner had, one could not call them 'good'. Dark green curtains killed the daylight off as olive green wall weave ate up the remaining light that had survived. She saw Karo sitting at a piano like instrument sitting in a blond wooden piano cabinet.
"We could bury two dwarfs in that thing." Azula walked in and crossed her arms. "If I miss my guess; the inn has a Celesta. I would like to know why?"
Karo did a quick A Major scale. "I have absolutely no idea."
"Shove over." Azula sat down next to Karo and began playing then ran out of keys. "Five octaves and all of them out of tune."
"The E above middle C emits a rather raspy sad tone." Karo cautioned as Azula began to play.
"Half the instrument does that." Azula began pounding out on the old and dusty machine. "My left hand doesn't have much to do. We have run out of notes on the bass clef."
"Is anyone home?" Katara yelled out as she walked in the door. She listened and heard something akin to Bach played on a glockenspiel with depression. She turned to Suki. "I didn't tell either of them about that thing in the parlor but they found it anyway."
"Do you know someone is waiting in the lobby?" Katara shouted out.
"We don't open for business for another week." Azula answered back equally loudly. "Check them and make sure they didn't just come in to steal the stapler."
Karo could have jumped inside the Katara when he saw the familiar figure from his past appear in the doorway of the parlor but the Celesta held a large metal mechanism.
"Last time we met..." Karo squirmed around on the bench, "you had someone paying to kidnap me and send me kicking and squirming into the next life."
"Are you familiar with the latest news?" Jun walked in the room. "Ew...I wouldn't have picked this décor."
"Yeah...yeah...it doesn't match the keyboard!" Azula said impatiently. "What latest news? A no good Water Tribe man dated Katara and got arrested for piracy. The wildlife officers have not yet found his polar bear dog. They never found the marina gator that ate a boat mechanic's arm off. That kind of latest news?"
"I came to your lovely island republic to find a murderer." Jun smiled slightly as the skull themed hair pin and snake tattoo began to make Karo remember some very dreary moments in his life. "I can't speak your language and everyone looks through me when I talk like I don't exist. Everyone except the Customs People who kindly seized Nyla and put her in quarantine in one of their state of the art facilities at The Agricultural Research Station at Arnoda."
"I had no idea we had an Agricultural Research Station on that rock." Azula stood up and crossed her arms. "I guess those plants with the yellow seeds they use to make canola oil come from somewhere."
"Nyla and I need each other." Jun stood over Azula and as she approached, forced Azula to look ever so slightly up. "As you might have found out – a hippo ate Xu Tung the dwarf. I have the bounty on the murderer. Someone has been hunting circus freaks and killing them in awful ways and the owner of the circus hired me to hunt for the man."
Karo looked amazed. "You have the bounty on the dwarf eaten by a hippo murderer?" He sorted through that sentence as he tried to mentally list the many things wrong with it and gave up.
"I was hired to find him, bring him back alive and let the owner of the circus deal with it. I don't kill people."
"You let those who hired you do it. You provide what we call a courtesy service for others who may want to put the final end to their victims by their own hand!"
Azula tapped her finger on her arm signaling her impatience. "You go have fun springing your mole."
"I need your help." Jun spoke confidently but with some concern. "I can't work without Nyla."
"It's an agricultural research station!" Azula laughed out loud and very sarcastically. "Why would they have any kind of security? My word! They host weddings on the weekends! They breed cherry trees and make olive trees easier to pick! Hardly the kinds of inmates likely to escape."
"I'm no detective but I do hunt down murderers." Jun answered Azula. "I can spring Nyla without your help but I can't hunt down the murderer."
"Bounty hunting is illegal in The Dominion." Azula nodded with an evil smile. "At best, they'll keep Nyla, boot you out of the country after charging you a hefty fine. At worst, they'll throw you in jail." Azula pointed at the tattoo. "The Suihan don't approve of tattoos – do they? You want to have our help passing yourself off as a native but you can't speak the language and you have a tattoo. You don't know the cuisine and what Karo calls 'food laws' so you might order lobster or sea urchin or even dolphin by mistake."
"She did us a favor once and helped us win the War." Katara entered the room quietly. "I know that sounds like a weak excuse but can you think of any revenge better than trying to teach her your language? Right Karo?"
"Have you ever planned to have a family with Azula?" Suki asked Karo as he puttered around the kitchen making toast with marmalade. "A little Azula or Zuko might make you happy. Sokka loves children."
"Uh – huh." Karo watched the orange toaster light. "I'm not entirely sure if Azula eats her young – we'd have to check up on that first. We have had people suggest that we should have children. Azula has a few choice and non family rated words for those people."
"Don't make my husband want for a family." Azula waltzed through the ktichen. "I can't have children because my ovaries are gone. When my brother assumed the throne of the Fire Lord, he placed me in an asylum and then had my good and plenty removed. This way I could never challenge his power."
"Now I will ask you why you have a pistol." Karo asked quietly.
"Have you seen the back yard?"
"A few times?" Karo pushed his glasses up his nose. "Has it been misbehaving? Did you solve the Monkey Puzzle trees – that would make them 'Human Puzzle' trees."
"Yeah..." Azula dismissed Karo's remarks with a wave of her hand.
"Nyla's sleeping there and she barely qualifies as tame." Azula answered. "I have the safety on but if she gets moody and decided to threaten us then I can fire a quick shot."
Blam!
"Ow!"
"Nyla's in the backyard so you thought you'd shoot your foot?" Karo steady Azula who had a look of bemused confusion on her face.
"Wait! Now I have the safety on." Azula leaned on Karo.
"Did I hear a gun shot!" Katara rushed into the kitchen and knew from the frenzied one step dance that Azula had shot herself in the foot. Katara began working on a stern lecture about gun safety but she rushed up to Azula as she bent water around her hands.
"You spooked Nyla." Jun ran into the room.
Azula looked at the three of them. "Ow!"
Katara found it hard to steady her hands to help the pain as Azula hopped.
"Azula?" Suki entered the room. "Azula the elite warrior shot herself in the foot?"
Azula let a chorale of the four letter kind ring out. "Damn! I have the safety on!"
"They send you for life for shooting people in the face." Karo yelled urgently. "Give me the gun."
"You can choke Suki later!" Katara called out as Karo held onto Azula and she propped up Azula under her arm.
"Why does the X- Ray technician run behind the partition when he zaps me?" Azula watched as the doctor prepared a local anesthetic. "Do you doctors know something I don't?"
"He takes hundreds of X – Rays in the course of a day." The doctor spoke from behind his syringe. "Such exposure could have serious health effects." He looked at Azula's right foot and then peered at the X – Ray posted to the light box on the wall. "The bullet went through your foot."
"Now you'll ask me why I shot myself in the foot?" Azula glanced at the doctor.
"I'm not a psychiatrist. Never attribute to the subconscious that which can be explained by stupidity." The doctor felt along Azula's back. "I just had to amputate the foot off an old man who ran over it with a lawn mower. With the circus in town, I've had to treat a trainer for platypus bear bites and a dwarf was electrocuted by The Tilt – A - Whirl. You will keep your foot but the big toe won't be part of it. I'm giving you an epidural."
Azula dropped the f bomb.
"We'll wait for the local to take effect." The doctor tossed the syringe in a steel waste paper basket. "You have mild scoliosis – did you know this?"
"Had no clue." Azula spoke with some annoyance. "How long do I have to live?"
"Curvature of the spine." The doctor explained tersely. "Harmless but something I noticed."
"I can feel the lower half of my body going numb."
"We'll let it get good and numb and then I'll remove what's left of your big toe." The doctor looked sternly at Azula. "Of course I'll have to file a report on this to the police because it was an accident involving an unregistered gun."
"Bloody hell!" Azula said angrily. "So shooting myself in the foot is a crime? It's my foot!"
"I'll be back in twenty minutes. If you need anything just press the call button." The doctor tore of his gloves and tossed them into the waste basket.
"When my mother in law bought the hotel, she also got a car." Karo paced the waiting room as a police officer quizzed him about the gun. "My fiance shot herself with the gun. I would be lying if I said I knew the reason she had the gun."
"I see." The police officer said calmly. "You will have to turn in the gun to the police."
"Not a problem." Karo faced a wall of teal colored Vendo Vending Machines and put in change to get a soda.
"Your fiance will have to pay a fine for discharging an unregistered weapon." The police officer nodded and handed Karo a ticket. "When she is out of surgery, will you give her this ticket?"
"You have the baton. She has a temper that can kill a kilometer away." Karo pulled out a bottle of root beer and pulled the cap off with the bottle opener. "Well...I'll make sure she gets the ticket and I'll turn in the gun."
"Have a good day." The policeman tipped his hat and left the waiting room.
Karo looked at the salmon pink walls as he sipped his root beer and read the 'Fire Exit' chart.
"Where did the terrible trio dawdle off to?" Karo eyed the gift shop and then turned his attention to the pile of out of date magazines on a low table.
"Karo!" Jun called out. "I see the cop has left."
"He gave Azula a ticket." Karo tossed the bottle in the bin next to the wall of vending machines set aside for returns.
"Did you know a dwarf in the circus died on The Tilt – A - Whirl?" Katara made Karo jump as she came out of the gift shop with a local newspaper.
"He was electrocuted." Suki announced.
Karo pushed his glasses up his nose. "Wonderful." Karo began to sense this was leading to something.
"Torquay Regional Hospital must have a morgue." Jun explained. "We can examine the body for clues."
"No we can't." Karo answered bluntly.
Jun examined the map of the fire escapes. "I can't read this."
"In case of a fire alarm; proceed to the nearest exit. Do not use the elevators. Use the approved stairs and descend in an orderly fashion." Karo said impatiently. "The red 'X' marks the exit."
"Alright!" Jun said seriously. "Come with me Karo. We're going to find the morgue."
"Why?" Karo stuttered spread out his hands in frustration. "Take someone like Katara. She thinks she owes you. Better yet, die and you'll get there."
"You know the language."
"So does Katara."
Jun motioned Katara to the fire exit map. "What does that symbol mean?" Jun pointed to Room # 207 which was the pharmacy and the 'pound' symbol.
"That's the number symbol!" Karo said in exasperation. "You need a Suihan speaker to read numbers!? Last time I checked, we had the same numbers you used just different names for them. In an hour, I will have to retrieve my opiate soaked wife who will need to lean on me to keep from toppling over because she severed her big toe."
"Come on Katara." Jun said. "Karo's too much of a prissy boy to take the sight of a dead dwarf. You and Suki can help me."
"Should a pregnant lady wander around a hospital?" Karo looked up at the sandwich vending machine and juggled change between his hands. "This place has all sorts of machinery and chemicals that may do bad things to a fetus. The sandwich vending machine egg salad sandwich comes to mind but I need something to eat."
"Real men don't fear death." Jun admonished Karo.
"A good commander will make use of the careful man, the dutiful man, the smart man and the stupid man. The careful man will work and make no errors, the dutiful man will work hard to show his merit, the intelligent man will solve difficult problems and the stupid man has no fear of death."
"Come on Katara." Jun looked at Katara. "We have a murder to solve."
"We can all gate crash his funeral." Karo said sarcastically. "Maybe the electrocuted midget has a rich family and they will have fine food at the funeral."
"You've been staring at that machine for five minutes." Suki told Karo. "Are you going to have a sandwich?"
"I'm hungry and yet worried." Karo turned away from the machine. "I haven't heard alarms or seen police running around so maybe that's a good sign. Azula hasn't incinerated her surgeon and isn't running through radiology blasting nurses and Jun hasn't been caught stealing a dead dwarf."
"All right miss!" The male nurse in white scrubs came down the hall said as he came down the hall. "Next time you shoot yourself in the foot, shoot the right one because the left one now lives in a jar of liquid nitrogen."
"Muhh?" Azula leaned on the nurse and on a metal cane.
Karo rushed up.
"How is she?" Karo asked in a panicky voice.
"She's fine," said the nurse, "she will be groggy for the rest of the evening and the docotr has prescribed her some painkillers if she needs them."
He handed Karo a bottle of pills and then a silver colored steaming bottle.
"What in God's name is this?" Karo grasped the bottle with his left and took the pills with his right.
"Pain killers." The nurse replied.
"I mean the fizzing silver thing." Karo asked as he put the pills in his inside vest pocket.
"Her left big toe preserved in liquid nitrogen." The nurse explained. "We don't have any use for it."
Karo let Azula lean on him.
"I've had enough." Karo told Suki as he partly supported Azula. "Lets pile into that piece of crap that passes for the car and go home."
"Uhh." Suki helped Karo support Azula. "Shouldn't we wait for Jun and Katara?
"I owe nothing to that woman!" Karo's harsh voice revealed his exhaustion and frustration. "She can play with Katara and then they can come home. Maybe we can have the dawf stuffed and placed in the front garden among the orchids. The orchids have all died so it'll be a sort of theme for the whole garden."
"Katara?" Azula mumbled. "The worlds most dangerous water bender?"
"And we're out of here." Karo motioned Suki to follow.
"We learned two things." Karo sat beside Suki and Azula on the top step of the front porch of the inn as the canister of liquid nitrogen steamed and a layer of ice formed on it. "We learned Katara had the keys to the hotel and I left my set behind but I did have the keys for the car. I tried getting Mitsumi to fly up and toss them out a window or something. We have no open windows and Mitsumi can't be trained."
"It's a nice evening." Suki felt Azula's groggy head leaning on her. "I love the sunsets here."
"I would normally agree but Azula's groping for consciousness."
"You poor demented little princess." Suki patted Azula's head in a rather surprising act of kindness.
"Can you hold onto Azula?" Karo asked Suki. "I have an idea. The dryer vent comes through a piece of plywood plugging a window in the basement. We call this a violation of building codes. Katara would kill me if I blew open the door with a fire bending attack. Azula would possibly kill hundreds in her state so I'm going to kick out or blow out that plywood vent cover and crawl through."
"Are you sure?"
"No but I have to pee." Karo answered. "Nyla has kind of learned to ignore me so she probably won't attack me when I kick in the window. Don't let Azula wander off."
Karo handed Suki the pills. "Guard the 'whatever the hell this is' with your life."
"Do you need my help?"
"I'll be back." Karo walked around the corner of the hotel.
Suki watched the red rays of the setting sun as it sank over the hills of Torquay. The church steeple of a wooden white clapboard sided church cast a long shadow up the driveway. Azula began to snore.
She heard a loud smashing of wood followed a few moments later by the click of the lock.
"I hate my life!" Karo stood in the doorway with soaking trousers. "I ran into unanticipated problems. I didn't realize the washing machine stood directly beneath the window until I fell feet first into a load of wet towels sitting in the drum. I will have a word with Katara about closing the damn lid. I will bet the fine folks at Bendix Appliance Corporation never knew their olive drab metal box could kill. At least I didn't find a dead dwarf between the towels and the agitator."
"Can we come in?" Suki asked quietly.
"Oh...yeah." Karo stood to one side. "I need to change everything. Someone didn't let a load of towels go through the machine so I have to wait until they're done to wash these." He pointed at his red trousers.
The morning had not brought any relief to Karo. He had slept well but then after he had had his morning toast and tea, he had to face the washer because Azula wished to have fresh clothes to wear.
"Glad to see you have come to help me." Karo greeted Katara when he saw her standing by the dryer. "Azula has made it known she wants her wash done and so I'm here with her basket of clothes."
He set the metal tub down on the floor.
"Do we have a clothesline?" Katara asked nervously.
"No?" Karo looked inside the washer at the spun out towels. "We have a working dryer."
"Do you know how the dryer works?" Katara asked in a manner that made Karo shake his head in confusion."
"You put wet clothes in, turn the knob to 'Towels' setting and pull it. After half an hour, the buzzer goes off and you take the towels out." Karo replied as he fished the towels out of the dryer.
"We always did laundry by hand." Katara explained. "Don't you long for the days when you dried your laundry in the sun? How do you know that these new fangled machines won't ruin your clothes?"
"Well...I suppose heating towels and blowing air over them involves playing in God's domain?" Karo answered as he reached into the washer to remove the load of towels. He held them in his hands. "I never have done clothes by hand and God forgives. Please quit acting odd. I've nearly reached the end of my rope. I need a quiet day full of books and tea and playoff hockey on the radio and free of Jun and pistols and Azula's big toe."
Karo held the load in his arms. "Can you get out from in front of the dryer?"
"Why can't you hang those towels?" Katara asked almost hysterically. "Why waste gas to dry a few towels? Don't we have a clothes line?"
"I'm getting wet arms! Just what has gotten into you?"
"Using a machine to dry clothes goes against my beliefs?"
Karo plopped the towels on top of the dryer. "Water Tribe custom or just a new conviction? Karo had learned enough from Azula and dodged past Katara using the best fire bending moves he knew and the hockey moves he wished he had. He pulled the dryer door open expecting a shiny metal drum and seeing a dwarf with a heavy black beard. "Holy crap! "Who put an electrocuted dwarf in the dryer!?"
"I can't lie as well as Azula."
"We...have...a...dead...dwarf...in?"
"Jun needed the body to help Nyla track his murderer." Katara now pleaded. "Where could we put it? We came home and late after you had gone to sleep, we let Nyla sniff his clothes and then we put him in the dryer until we could return him to the morgue."
Karo looked carefully at the olive drab metal box and its door. "Thank God no one included a window in the door of the dryer! I don't see a cremate setting on the dryer; we could at least get rid of him."
"Jun left with Nyla early this morning and we'll take him back when she returns."
"Why bother?" Karo laughed and threw up his arms in total disbelief. "God has him now and God will appreciate the fresh smell and warmth of a dwarf fresh out of a dryer. When you get to Heaven and greet the Almighty, you may have a dwarf placing objections to your entry into eternity. God may not give you the gold halo but instead one made of cheap tin that gets in the way of your eyes or messes up your hair! Desecration of the dead doesn't put you in the best light before God or the law. Did it occur to you that you could get us all in trouble? The morgue has no doubt noticed the electrically fried dwarf has gone missing. They'll start with taxidermists but eventually they'll get to us!"
Azula walked down the basement stairs slowly and using a cane. Katara noticed she had an Earth Kingdom school uniform on (which must have belonged to Karo) and looked angry.
"Where did Karo get to!?" Azula knew full well where Karo had gone but wanted it known she had expected him to do her laundry. "I'm missing my big toe. Get rid of the dead dwarf in the dryer so we can get laundry done!"
Azula held out the cane at Katara. "Bringing back the dead through the magic power of a clothes dryer? I may have had more drugs in me than cranky old grandmother's in an old folk's home but barbiturates aside, I heard you and Jun fussing around down here." Azula slowly edged forward. "I heard something banging around lulling me to sleep. Karo has laundry to do; so do something else with the dead guy."
Azula leaned over the counter for support. "Now we have a dead dwarf in the kitchen freezer. My mom will have many, many questions."
"Katara said Jun had a plan." Karo nervously scratched at the lobby desk. "Jun will track down the murderer and then Katara grew vague about the details. I think they're improvising."
"Does Torquay have a meat processing plant?" Azula looked to Karo. "We could plop him in the meat grinder and never ever buy meat again."
"Ew..." Karo objected. "Torquay doesn't have a meat processing plant in any event."
"A large tree chipper like the ones the city uses to get rid of trees?"
"Only a licensed arborist can rent a tree chipper." Karo tapped the counter of the lobby desk. "The dwarf will remain in the freezer unless we can find a landscaper who asks no questions."
"Even worse, the dwarf broke the dryer." Azula stood up and propped herself with her cane. "He came out smelling real fresh. I had no idea Katara knew enough about handling dead bodies to use fabric softener to hide the smell. A half hour on 'Delicate' and he smelled as good as he ever did in life."
Jun kicked the doors open and plopped a man in Water Tribe clothes on the floor.
"Hino?" Karo exclaimed. "I thought the police arrested him!?"
"As you busted a rather expensive set of French doors, I hope you or your prisoner have a very good explanation for this." Azula leaned on the cane. "Both of you."
"Hino murdered the circus performers." Jun said as she kicked Hino. "He was arrested here but your police let him go when someone posted bail. He killed the circus performers but someone else hired him to do it."
"Where's Katara?" Azula asked Karo. "I haven't seen her in the last half hour."
"What's all that noise?" Suki asked as she came down the hall from her room. "Jun?"
"Have you seen Katara?" Azula asked. Azula had looked to Katara as a model of mental stability and strength in adversity but Azula had begun to sense Katara had become unstable after Jun and Nyla had traced the trail of smells back to Hino.
Suki slowly walked into the lobby. "No. I've been ill so I spent the morning in my room."
"Right." Azula tapped Karo with her cane. "Karo! Track her down!"
"She'll come back on her own."
"Have you ever heard of the Great Torquay Tsunami?" Azula asked as she patted his back and almost whispered. "They say the waves washed up thirty meters – the altitude of this place - and killed forty thousand people."
"Never heard of it."
"If Katara goes off, you won't but others reading the papers will." Azula gave Karo a push. "We'll search the hotel but you go out and take the car and find her."
Karo knew that Torquay and the rest of the northern coastline of the island had experienced a tsunami triggered more than a thousand kilometers away. The islanders had never experienced earthquakes of any real force and until the Great Tsunami a few years ago, they thought a tsunami was an answer to an obscure question for a geology student exam. To say Torquay wasn't prepared was like saying Ba Sing Se hadn't expected the see Azula overthrow the Earth King. The last tsunami had taken the Marina Park gazebo all the way to the Northern Water Tribe homeland. The band shell in the park had been found in pieces along the same place by confused hunters who hadn't expected to find a public address system where they hunted polar bears. No one ever did find the band.
Karo knew Katara would head for water if the aim of her actions involved madness and anger.
He slid the car into a parking stall next to the concert hall in Marina Park reserved for the First Violinist. He jumped out of the car, slammed the door shut, sailed over a wooden box planter and hit the ground running. The concert hall had a vast cobbled boulevard that went past the main doors and then between rows of palms.
Karo jumped down a set of wide stairs that lead onto the broad seawall that protected the marina. He stood on the ravelin for a second and adjusted his glasses.
The tsunami had washed right over the thing. Karo looked down at the blocks of gray granite used as a foundation two stories below the chain link railing and swallowed. The seawall protected private sailboats docked in the vast marina from the vicarious whims of nature.
A wall of water sent him flying against the railing.
He heard people screaming but his glasses tore off his face and much of the detail of the actions were lost.
"Mina, Iarió i márinat ván iku narast!i" Karo heard a hysterical woman shout. "Siónupast!"
Karo let go and used the chain as a guide to work his way forward along the wall. 'Siónupast' or 'sea surge' panicked a people already spooked by the last tsunami. Karo saw blurs of people rushing away from the sea in a panicked herd.
"Iónness!" Another female voice cried out in panic as she searched for her son.
"Katara!" Karo cried out hoping his voice would carry across the marina and taking a gamble Katara had staked herself out on the breakwater. "Stop!"
Karo ran forward, dodging people as best he could. The people ran back towards the land side of the breakwater. He had always attributed his lack of athletic skills to his short stature and thin build but he willed his legs to carry him as fast as they could. He didn't see the heavy chains at the end of the breakwater but he could hear the grinding roar of the lock gates between the two ends of the breakwater sliding up into place. These gates normally came up to protect the marina and downtown during typhoons but today was a perfectly clear day.
"Karo!" Katara's vice rang out from the other side of the breakwater.
A loud bang announced that the locks had risen fully into place.
"You can't do this!" Karo called out.
Karo couldn't swim and he realized as his stomach gurgled that he would die if Katara had completely lost it and decided to wash him away.
The lock had a grated steel walkway on top of the heavy metal doors the city workers used for maintenance and inspections. Karo could see enough detail to see the walkway and the soaking wet gate looked like they had rusted a good deal. He grappled over the chains and onto the walkway. He held the yellow metal railing and began to walk out along the locks.
"What have the people of Torquay done?" Karo asked urgently as the gate creaked and groaned. The Fire Nation had built the thing to be raised to withstand the typhoons of this part of the world and Karo hoped they did the maths correctly. Katara could smash the delicate brick and stone buildings of the downtown core and the possible death toll made Karo's mind reel. Solid Victorian style architecture with classical elements made for storm proof building that stayed cool in the summer but they wouldn't withstand a tidal wave.
Karo reached the middle of the lock and it made an unsettling groan and swayed as a wave washed over him and soaked him. He fell back against the railing. The Fire Nation had done its work well. He stood up coughing.
"Down to the depths of my heart I don't want to fight you!" Karo yelled out.
"You would die." Katara laughed harshly.
"I admit this is part of the reason." Karo almost cried as he spoke. He grabbed the railing and pulled himself along as he tried to figure out why Katara had become such a homicidal maniac. "No one else here is remotely qualified to stop you."
"You don't have the guts as the coward you are."
"If I do nothing and die, then how will I face God?" Karo continued forward hoping his words would delay Katara long enough for him to work out a simple and elegant solution to the problem or a UFO would abduct them both. "If I have to die now, then at least let me have a clear conscience doing the right thing."
Katara stood there and stared at Karo. Karo was eccentric, always a kind sort of soul, a bit of a ditz but she had never doubted he had a moral backbone. She had witnessed it many times but unlike Azula; Karo wanted to do the right thing. Avatar Aang had the same character trait but from the perspective of the belief in balance and harmony. Karo had moral convictions but framed from the perspective of someone who wanted to do right by his Creator. Aang would not kill even if he had to die, Karo would face death to save others.
Katara sat down on the breakwater and began to sob.
"I have salt water in places even urologists dread to probe." Karo stumbled over the chains on the other side of the lock. "I was born to trouble as sparks fly upward."
He sat down next to Katara squishing in his water drenched clothes. "Well...princess of the Water Tribe, you have seen so much. How come you're so unhappy?"
"I will become an old woman and a lonely one." Katara sat with her knees up and her head in her arms. "I won't have children or become a grandmother like my gran gran."
"Life is misery, if you hear anything else, it's from a salesperson." Karo watched Katara flick her finger and his clothes became instantly dry, felt steam cleaned and smelled fresh. "Hino wasn't the one."
"Neither was Zuko." Katara sobbed.
Karo sat with his back against the chain railing. "Nor should he be."
Karo could hear the sounds of panic reside and he heard the mechanism of the lock roar back into action.
"Zuko is a decent man." Katara looked up at the outline of the outer island of Arnoda. "Decent but in love with Mai; all decent men find other women."
"Zuko has much of the cruelty of his father at times." He felt himself yelling out over the sound of the lock mechanism. "If Azula were to have any children, he knew they could pose a threat to his throne so he had her forcibly sterilized in the asylum. He had them do other things to her as well which went beyond the ethical boundaries of medicine. He knew his father had grown suicidal through reports from his prison guards but did nothing to aid or protect him. Ozai hung himself."
"I didn't know this." Katara sat beside Karo in the warm sun.
"They say the Realm would end in flames if The Fire Nation weren't defeated." Karo answered slowly and twiddled his thumbs. "The Avatar defeated Ozai, Zuko surrendered and we have peace. Neither The Avatar or Zuko has earned a warm place in my heart. Neither of them have brought justice or mercy to the Realm. Peace without justice is impotent. We will end up at War once again. Justice without mercy has no meaning. Peace which leaves the World without justice or mercy will not last."
Katara sat up and looked at Karo's amber eyes. He had such an unexceptional presence for a man. She had grown up with manly men – her father and the brave men of the Water Tribe who faced the Fire Nation on the oceans. Karo had grown up sheltered by his mother in an affluent society. She had always liked him but never taken him for a sharp tack or as a moral person.
"What do we do now?" Katara stood up and wiped her eyes.
"We go home – somehow." Karo had learned how to drive at the gentle hands of Azula and after repressing all of her lessons, had qualified to drive a car as long as he wore glasses. Since he couldn't see, he didn't want to drive that red tin can of a car without clear vision.
"Tell me why you decided to wash Torquay into the sea?" Azula stood over Karo and glanced at Katara. "Come on! I'll take you home."
"Why did you come down here?" Katara asked sadly.
"As soon as Karo left, I realized he can't swim so if you washed him into the sea, I'd have to find someone else; break their spirit and that takes a lot of work." Azula held out her cane, kept her balance and pulled Karo to his feet. "Karo's warranty doesn't cover getting drowned by a powerful, scorned water bender and I didn't paid for the extended warranty."
"We should go before anyone figures out you nearly washed the town away." Karo stood up and winced at the bright light.
Jun paced the lobby.
Hino mumbled but Jun had hogtied him and stuffed a rag in his mouth.
"Can you speak Suihan?" Jun held up a newspaper and tapped it roughly.
Suki sat in a padded office chair behind the vast lobby desk and she waited for news in the form of a phone call. "I know a few words but I can't read it."
"Infuriating country." Jun complained. "Kyoshi no jin desu ne?"
"Yes." Suki felt her stomach turn. "I apologize but I really don't feel like talking to you."
"Most people don't." Jun answered back.
The French doors clicked open and Azula came walking through leaning on her cane. "We lived through that without having a single luxury yacht having even a scratch." She answered happily.
Katara followed Azula.
Karo held the mail and dropped it on the desk. "We can't serve electrocuted dwarf...so what's the plan?" Karo wanted the place rid of the dead as soon as possible if not sooner.
"All I need is Nyla and a nice big forested area in the city where people would expect to find a body."
"The Cemetery of the Church on Gray Hill." Azula answered eagerly. "That's the gray stone church on the hill. You can't miss it or the cemetery – which must cover ten acres."
"Very well." Jun said as if she expected no opposition. "I have no use for him. His orders came from the very person I have to find. I'll drop him off at the cemetary and when I'm long gone from this hole, I'll drop the police a call and tell them where the dwarf is resting."
Katara saw Hino hogtied in the corner and walked toward him. "You can't answer but did I mean anything to you?"
Hino squirmed on the ground.
"Katara?" Karo said in a low voice. "Once you choose the dark side, forever will it dominate your destiny."
Azula recognized the line and gave Karo a sharp disbelieving look.
"How will he be punished!?" Katara shrilly shouted at Karo and Azula. "A stay in prison or will the authorities here let him go on 'bail'?"
"Revenge is a dish best served cold." Azula kept up the theme of quoting science fiction novels. "Of course the best revenge is a life lived well. Come on girl...you have to turn me into a girl."
Katara kicked Hino and he grunted.
"Can I go now?" Jun asked sarcastically.
Azula and Karo both enthusiastically shouted: "Yes!"
"Quite frankly, and we know bounty hunters value frankness." Azula walked up to Jun and looked up at her and eyeballed her as only Azula could. Azula steadied herself on her cane. "I have a deep dislike for you as a person. You have the fashion sense of a prostitute and would fit in well to the décor of a female prison. I have enjoyed looking at you. I could speak of appearances but on a deeper level I dislike you because you have an even more unpleasant personality than I do – and that puts you up against stiff competition." Azula leaned in and whispered to Jun. "You nearly killed Karo so I want my pound of flesh. I allowed you to stay here only because Karo doesn't approve of murder. Go away and never trouble us again."
Karo heard a loud snap and the smell of burned hair filled the room as Jun's hair vanished in a puff of smoke. Jun looked stunned for a moment and then tried to regain her composure.
Azula stood next to Karo.
"I'm gone." Jun looked visibly shaken.
"So now that my mother has put on the guilt trip and convinced me to help her run the inn," Azula complained, "I have taken a leave off work until Katara feels well enough to take on my duties."
Karo stood in the lobby. "Well I wish you all the best. I have to go pack and I'll keep the porch light – gack!" Azula had reached over the counter and had him by the collar.
"With Katara resting with her grandmother in the Northern Water Tribe capitol," Azula began slowly and drew her voice out into a threatening drawl,"I need you to help me too."
"Your mother arrives tomorrow."
"My mother has the work ethic of me." Azula snapped back. "We're Fire Nation nobility and so work comes as a foreign concept to us so we will need you. You fill in the one piece we need: the polite receptionist willing and able to serve guests."
Karo coughed. "I have to draw my strip. My mom needs me to mow the lawn – by now it must already be home to at least a dozen pythons."
"I need your company as well."
"Oh...right." Karo blushed. "You'd miss that?"
"I have come to find it agreeable." Azula raised her left eyebrow.
"But I can't simply leave my obligations at the paper." Karo changed the topic as relationship issues made him uneasy. "I've got a contract and I owe it to the paper to fulfill them. I wouldn't feel right just quitting."
"Lady Ursa has quite some pull at your work so she arranged for an indefinite leave and she'll pay you."
"What say do I have in this."
"Pretty much none at all."
"And Katara?" Karo asked softly. "What will become of her?"
Azula steadied herself on her cane. "We'll have to see. I never suspected she had such a troubled inner life."
