Honestly, though.
It's cold that night. Winter's officially over with and spring has just awakened but when the sun goes down, it's still too chilly to sit outside and enjoy the stars and so Kurt really wonders why he is. But then he remembers because the reason wraps a blanket around him and tightens it with tender care. "It's so pretty, isn't it?" Blaine wonders and when Kurt looks at him he suddenly doesn't really mind he's freezing his ass off and his expensive jeans are on this cold rooftop ground, because Blaine's eyes are wide and so full of life. "Why are we here, Blaine?" Kurt asks him as he looks up to the sky, Blaine's eyes already pointed upwards and reflecting the heavens and Kurt wonders if he can't just look at Blaine the entire night, his entire life. Because the moon, the stars, the entire planet - it's all in those eyes. "Why wouldn't we be here? Look at it, it's gorgeous," Blaine answers him in a clear voice and Kurt doesn't even have to look to know that the slightly older boy is smiling. "It's also cold," Kurt points out and tightens the blanket around him because yes, he has very sensitive skin and he can't afford to wake up tomorrow and find it ruined. "Look at the stars, look how they shine for you..." Blaine sings instead of answering. "And all the things you do..." But he doesn't continue, just stares back at the sky in silence - the faint trace of a smile still on his face. Kurt studies Blaine a lot, whenever he can actually. When Blaine's asleep, when Blaine's awake, when he's looking away and when he's not. And it's not even because he's beautiful (and he is, he is, he so is), but it's also because he's Kurt's and Kurt is his.
~v~
"I love you," Blaine says and breaks away from the stars to gaze at Kurt instead but the wonder hasn't left his eyes. Kurt feels as if he's a star and maybe he is. This is the first time Blaine says it out loud. The three words clear and final, Kurt doesn't want to open his mouth now. Blaine smiles again, turns his head and his eyes swim with stars.
It's the first time Blaine says it out loud, but to Kurt it feels as if this is already the millionth time. The first I love you really isn't that important after all, not compared to all the other firsts that already say so much more than just those three words can. Kurt doesn't say I love you back that night. But it's implied.
~v~
"I wish we could stay here forever," Kurt says when they're both sprawled over the ground, holding hands and staring up at the sky in silence. "I feel like I don't matter here."
"You do matter, though." Blaine replies and Kurt nods, squeezes his hand and smiles. "I know," he says. "But it's good not to, sometimes."
Blaine doesn't say anything but Kurt knows he understands.
~v~
"You're going back to McKinley then?" It's not a heavy question at all and Blaine's tone is light when he asks. "Yes," Kurt answers.
"I'm proud of you." Blaine says. "Do you mean that?" Kurt wonders and Blaine looks at him with a smile and a shake of his head. "Not really," he says. "but you get credit for trying."
Kurt nods, tightens the hold on their clasped hands and then they laugh because the situation really isn't funny.
~v~
"I'm going to miss you," Kurt breathes when they're wrapped up in each other, when the air is no longer chilly and the night is no longer dark. "I'm going to miss everything." Fireworks. "It's not over." Blaine gasps inside his mouth and Kurt dives deeper instead of answering, because he doesn't know and he certainly doesn't want to.
"I don't know if I can do this without you," Kurt says when they're once again lying next to each other on the ground, counting the stars. He thinks he's crying but he can't be sure. "You can," Blaine tells him and yes - yes, he can but if he can just pretend Blaine is oxygen for a little longer... "I don't want to, though." He tells Blaine and all Blaine does is hold him closer.
~v~
When the night ends and their bodies are stiff, cold and tired they kiss. Lips dancing, parting, moving. And the stars might be gone now, replaced by a simple shade of blue and red and pink - but Kurt still feels as if he's dancing among them when Blaine touches him like this and it hurts - it hurts so bad but it's so much better than having nothing at all. They kiss and hug and touch and then Blaine brings him back home to Lima where he belongs. "I'll see you soon," Blaine says and Kurt hugs him without tears.
~v~
Kurt doesn't tell Blaine goodbye. But it's implied.
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