A/N: Hi! This is my first story, and I'd really appreciate if you'd review (:

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all

It had been almost a month since I saw Katniss. Almost a month since I studied the grey eyes I loved so much, and almost a month since she tried to convince me of what was true and what wasn't. And even though the days still pass with venom induced flashbacks, the false ones have begun to carry surreal qualities. Such as a mix of colors, or a switching of roles. It makes it easier to differentiate between everything, and now, when I have one of my breakdowns, I can hear a voice in the back of my head. It usually tells me that this isn't real, and that it's the Capitol's lies going on inside of me. But sometimes it screams that I love Katniss... And other times, it screams that she loves me too.

I was startled by the knock on my door. It was Haymitch- the drunk that saved my life countless times. Today he seemed at least mildly sober, which was good.

"Peeta. Just the baker I wanted to see," he stated, pushing me out of the way and sitting on the couch.

"The baker...?" I asked. His eyes met mine expectantly and I let out a sigh. "Okay Haymitch. What do you want?"

This seemed to elicit a smile (or at least a smirk) from him before he continued. "I was thinking maybe a cake. With a lot of pink. And gold. Don't be afraid to go over the top either."

"You know, if I weren't completely insane, I'd think that this was for a lady," I teased. Haymitch never came to me for anything but liquor, and definitely not for cakes. He wasn't even big on sweets to begin with.

"Why else would I have sobered up?"

"And if I'm supposed to 'go over the top' with pink and gold... She's not from the Capitol, is she?"

"That information is none of your business. I'm the adult here anyway. I don't have to tell you anything."

"Well we're both adults now Haymitch. And the Games are over- you aren't my mentor anymore. Why can't we just be friends?" I asked, smiling. And just then, a miracle happened. Haymitch Abernathy, the Haymitch Abernathy, turned red.

"Yeah, yeah whatever kid. Some Capitol people aren't really that bad." He replied, flustered. "Let's just talk about something else, okay?"

I nodded and we began talking about everything that we could think of. Trains, animals, sleeping, flowers... And then he brought up Katniss.

"So where's she at now-a-days?" He asked. I didn't have to question who he was talking about, because I already knew.

"I wish I could tell you. She came by one evening about a month ago and took off. Maybe she's at her house, but I can't even put much faith in that. Greasy Sae doesn't talk about her anymore like she used to," I told him. I was surprised to hear sadness break through my voice.

"Yeah well I guess you two don't have to stick together anymore. No more of the star-crossed lovers from District 12."

"Yeah," was all I could say to agree with him.

I liked talking to Haymitch. He was the only one who wasn't careful about hat he said to me. Everyone else seemed to tiptoe around the elephant in the room. The Games, Katniss, and even so much as our old District. But Haymitch just treated me normally, and I respected him for that.

"Well I better get going so you can start on that cake. I'll need it by the day after tomorrow, kid."

I nodded and followed him to the door, where he walked home.

The nightmares visited during my sleep. They usually do, but even still I wake up with tears streaking my cheeks and my lungs gasping for air. Even still, I wake up feeling like a child. Scared, wishing for their mother's comforting hug. Or in my case, Katniss'.

Speaking of Katniss, she was in my dream too. I watched her murder my family (which I know isn't true) and feed their corpses to a pack of wild dogs. I wanted to kill her when I realized that I was next, but something was stopping me. I couldn't use my arms. They were restrained behind my back with a rope. And when I tried to twist around to check, I could feel a noose tighten around my neck.

Are you, are you, coming to the tree?

The song found its way into my head.

Wear a necklace of rope side by side with me.

At that point, I understood the lyrics. I never truly listened to them before... But suddenly, I got it.

And they were worse than any dream I could have.

Clearly, I wasn't going back to sleep. It was 7:00 am already, so I figured it was good to have an early start. I made my way downstairs, and smelled something off.

Something fresh; almost foreign. Then I saw it.

On my counter, there was a squirrel, cleaned and gutted.

With an arrow right through its eyes.

I thought that it would trigger a fit, but it didn't. I just stood there, mouth open, shocked. I knew who shot it, and I also knew who left it here for Greasy Sae to cook for me. That meant that she was here, and that she was okay, and that maybe I could see her soon.

A wave of utter joy crashed over me, along with a feeling that was hard to place at first. Love.