Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, all rights go to mrs. Maggie Hall

1.

There's this little thing called anger.

Boiling, raging anger. It consumes me. Anger towards my father, Alistair Saxon. Towards Lydia, and Cole. Towards Elodie. And towards Jack. Most of all, Jack.

I had trusted him. With my life. With my heart. And he shattered it—into too many pieces to even count. I told myself not to care, but slowly he had worn away at the walls I had built around my heart over years and years. I had let him in, the strong and serious mystery with the thundercloud eyes. And he broke me. Betrayed me. An unforgivable sin against me. And now he is asking for a second chance.

I turn to him. The boy with the gorgeous eyes. Study him. One could get lost in those eyes. Perfect white teeth behind perfect plump lips. The shade of stubble on his cheeks. Thick, dark lashes, contrasting with pale skin. A few freckles, here and there. Then, closer. Lines, on his forehead. Circles, under his eyes. A slight, worried frown, pulling his mouth down at the corners. Tousled hair, so out of character. I sigh. His eyes search my face.

"Please," he whispers. So close I can feel him exhale. "Avery."

I draw a shaky breath. "Jack, I—"

He places a hand on my shoulder. "Avery, I know what you are feeling, the anger, the hurt, the sadness. I know what I did. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I'm not asking you to forget. I'm just asking, please, if there's any way, can we...start over?"

I shake my head no. There's no starting over. I had loved him. I don't want to lose that. The chase through Istanbul. The scent of the spices, mixed with his sweat. That stormy night in the Louvre. The searching and searching, and finally finding. That moment in the alley, on the run from the Order. He said he made everything worse. Maybe he was right.

"Jack, I loved you," I whisper back, touching his hand on my shoulder. I can see tears in his eyes. His ever-strong shell cracking wide open.

"But...you don't anymore." His voice loses all hope and he drops his hand. Turns away. I grab his hand.

"Jack, wait. I'm not done." He keeps his head down. I stand in front of him, close to touching him, and gaze up into his eyes. Tears fall from his cheeks and splash onto the pavement. My hands go to his face, wiping them away. My arms around his neck. "I don't think you understand...I let you in, Jack. I don't love anyone anymore. It's incredibly...lonely. I need you, Jack. I've lost everyone. My mom. My father. My sister—" My voice cracks. "I've lost my hope. You betrayed me. Do you know that, Jack? Do you know what you did?" Tears are now flowing freely from both of us, mixing on the pavement.

"Avery," he says softly, as if afraid of the words he is about to speak. "Avery, I love you. I have since the day I saw you. Back at Lakeview...I was sent there by the Circle. On a mission. But I all but forgot about that mission the moment i set eyes on you. From the pictures the Circle provided I knew you were cute," he chuckles sadly at this, "but when I saw you, alone, reading a book instead of eating lunch with the rest of the girls, and I knew then that you were for me. And then...it seemed like you liked me too. That kiss, the first one? Dangerous mistake. But I had to know...and I couldn't help myself...oh God. And then I went and ruined everything, and now we're here, and what? What was all of this for?"

My hands are shaking around his neck. My heart is hurting. But his words have lessened the pain. I look deep into his eyes. Everything else fades. His face is falling into mine. What are you doing? My thoughts scream as my eyelids flutter closed. Remember what he did to you! But I want to forget. I want to leave it behind. The moment our lips touch, for the first time in weeks, electricity tears through me. I'm drowning, and he is my air. The anger, the hurt, it all translates to passion as I soften into him. He grows more demanding and my hands go to his hair. His hands are around my waist, pulling me into him so tightly I can't breathe. But I don't care. Now this is what I want. What we were. Heart thumping wildly, about to leap from my chest. Knees so weak, only his hands at my waist are keeping me from crumpling to the ground. A fluttering sensation in my chest. Short breath, unattainable.

Too soon, Jack breaks away from me. We are both panting, and his eyes are glowing as he pulls me into his chest.

"Dis-moi que tu ne voulais pas ça," he murmurs into my hair.

"I can't," I whisper back with a smile, my hand over his rapidly beating heart. Then I'm lost in his eyes once again.

The clicking of heels on the concrete snaps us out of our reverie. I look over to see Colette with a martini in one hand and a cell phone in the other. "Now what's this? I thought you two...you know, broke up?"

Jack wraps his arm protectively around my shoulder. "We're...figuring things out," he looks down at me.

"Well, Ave, I think you and I—" Colette winks at me. "—need to have a little chat!"

I laugh and slip away from Jack and follow Colette inside.

There's part 1! Leave a review and i'll post part 2 soon!