Loki was trembling.
Steve hadn't known Loki for long, not as a somewhat good guy and certainly not personally, but it was still hard to watch. His sobs were loud, the loudest sound in a mostly quiet field, and he was clinging so desperately to Thor's arm as he did so. Thor wasn't moving. Steve knew that Asgardians could take a lot, but even Thor could only take so much. He didn't think Thor was going to be moving anymore.
Steve had been one of many to question Loki's loyalties before the start of this battle, those questions tasted like bile in his throat. Of all the things to prove Loki's loyalties- to Earth, to Thor, to fighting and stopping Thanos- Steve never wanted it to be this.
It was hard to move forward. Hard to tell himself to lift one foot and put it before the other. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him and it was hard to approach. It was too private a moment, to painful, to be disturbed. And yet, Steve still forced himself to lift one foot at a time and approach. He had to because no one else was going to do.
There wasn't anyone one else to do so.
Steve's voice was firm and his hand was steady, barely, when he reached out to Loki. "Loki."
The man didn't seem to notice. Maybe he couldn't hear him over his own hysterics. Maybe he wasn't aware of anything but the arm that he was clutching so very tightly. Maybe he wasn't even aware of that.
Steve shook his shoulder. "Loki."
"No." Loki's voice was choked and broken. "No. I will not... Whatever it is, I will not..."
"Loki," Steve shook his shoulder again, wanting to shake him out of his fit but still trying to be gentle. The battle was over, there was no reason not to be gentle if Steve still could. And he could. He would. Steve didn't have anything else to move him forward in this moment but taking care of this one soldier, and he wasn't too proud to admit to himself that he would cling to that if he could. Too much had been lost, again, and he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think. He had a soldier to take care of. "Loki."
"No, no! You can't! Please, don't take him from me!" Loki was yelling. It was a heartbreaking, ear splitting sound. It made something catch in Steve's own throat, but he couldn't afford to get caught up in someone else's hysterics. "He was the only thing I had left! He's the only thing!"
Steve's hand tightened on Loki's shoulder as similar sentiments echoed in his mind.
"To the end of the line."
But Steve needed to drown that out. He didn't have time to stop and think, not yet! He had a soldier to take care of. If he stopped, he didn't know that he would start again. So no rest, no thought, just action. He had to keep it together, lock himself in Captain mode and quietly envy that Loki had the luxury to break down. (Quietly fear that Loki would never start again and take from Steve all that was keeping him moving.)
"It's not over yet, soldier!" Steve yelled. Partially to drown out the echoes in his own mind, voices and memories that begged him to drop down beside and Loki and remember, and partially to get through the wall of solid misery and mourning that the god had become. "We're not done here yet."
Loki quieted down, but only slightly. "What more is there?" Loki demanded. It sounded lost and hollow. He didn't believe that there was really more to be done, but he hoped. (God, Steve needed that hope.) He wanted there to be something that could force him to his feet, just like Steve did. "What more could there possibly be?"
"You aren't going to leave him there, are you?" Steve asked. And he had to force his thoughts down and away. He couldn't think the words "dead" or "corpse" and he couldn't afford to turn his gaze away from Loki and see... he couldn't afford to look away from Loki. Not yet. Not yet! "Is that how you did it in Asgard?"
Steve wanted to be able to make his voice soft or warm or welcoming. He wanted to be the person that could give comfort, but he didn't have any to give. All he could do was be the man that got Loki moving. Hopefully. Hopefully, Steve could be that man.
Loki sniffled. He forced the sobbed back into his throat as he coughed up an answer. "No."
It was simple. It was short. It was enough.
"Then we aren't done here, soldier."
Loki looked up from Thor for the first time. He had to nearly turn his back on Thor's body to look up at Steve and Steve hoped that was a good thing. That Loki's mind would move just the slightest bit away from the sight, that he would let his thoughts move, and that it would... help. Steve could feel how cold and hard his expression was. It was probably the opposite of the watery gaze that Loki directed at him.
"We aren't done yet," Loki repeated. Steve couldn't tell if it was a question or an affirmation. So he repeated himself more firmly.
"We aren't done."
Loki just nodded. He trembled once more, leaning down to press his lips to Thor's forehead. Steve found it hard to watch, but he did. Loki's hand rested on the back of Thor's neck and he pressed their forehead together. "Not yet," Loki whispered. "I'm not done yet, brother... Not yet..."
Steve balled his fist up tight. He felt his nails digging into the palm of his hand and wondered when he'd lost a glove. Wondered at what else he'd lost. Firmly stomped down on the question and bit his lip hard enough that it bled. It wasn't hard. He barely felt it. That was bad, but the distraction was enough.
Loki was untangling himself from the body of his brother and standing up. "Not here," Loki whispered. "I can't..."
Steve pointed to the side. "Over there," He told him. "We'll start there."
Loki was nodding and Steve was clinging to to this thread of interaction between them like it was a lifeline. One more soldier to take care of, to lead, to protect. One more. He repeated this over and over in his head until the mantra morphed into being Not alone, and then Steve clung to that anyway.
