disclaimor: ownage equals nil for lamie
pairing/s: rikai, vague mentionings of other pairings
warning/s: riku isn't nice for the most part, kinda-maybe ooc on selphie's part

kiss'd
- - even though it hurt my lips

Riku was a jerk. And not the sort who dated a girl then sorta-maybe cheated on her with another girl because he was bored. No, he was the sort who never dated – but hey, if that was a reason to go around kissing every Tom, Dick and Harry (or as the case may be: Yvonne, Vic and Sally) then why stop at those three? No, the body count was going up by the dozen. At least one or two a day. Kairi wasn't even aware there were that many girls in the school.

And for the most part, the kisses weren't even given with consent. No, they were stolen kisses. Now this, this made Kairi squirm in her seat (obviously, giving her a few odd looks), protest profusely in front of the Blue House (home to the president of the Islands of Destiny) and hiss for prolonged amounts of time (thus, turning anyone who dared look at her into stone).

But alas, that was just the effect Riku had on Kairi.

- - -

"Kairi." Kairi groaned into her folded arms. "Kairi." She muttered a 'noooo'. "Kairi." She pressed her forehead down further into her arms, resting (more like dying-if-they-weren't-already-dead) on the table. "Kairi!"

"Whaaat?!" Kairi mock shouted, trying to keep whispering so the teacher wouldn't hear her and Selphie arguing in the background.

"It's the end of lesson." It turned out Kairi didn't have to worry about any teachers or lecturers of teachers of lecturers telling her off for shouting, snoozing or a mixture of both (Kairi was well known for sleep-shouting, especially in class). Kairi rolled her eyes and shoved all the books she had laid out on the table, which had ended up dangling precariously off the edge anyway all due to Kairi's odd sleeping patterns, into her bag.

Kairi and Selphie started walking towards the canteen, the hubbub of all activity, when suddenly out of the shadows pounced great big fat jerk-face, Riku Sohma.

In Kairi's mind, it was like watching predator catch its prey. She couldn't deny it, he was... suave and attractive, but he didn't seem to care about what the girls might think afterwards. What sort of message was he giving off? Because, unlike the other, less intelligent students of the school, Kairi was taking notice to all Riku's victims, watching who he kissed, when he kissed them and trying to find patterns, reasons, anything! She had started the obsession in the last year of middle school and kept it up for the whole year and a half since.

Which can only suggest how long Riku had been at it.

He slid up to the girl (Kairi thought her name was Orette or something, some freshman) and watched as he murmured, "Hey, princess." Ollie turned bright red. He caught her shoulders with his hands and looked her dead in the eye. Orelle stared back, mouth hanging open slightly. Kairi knew that look, it was the who is this boy? what is he doing? why me? look. She had seen it so many times before.

Kairi shook her head and watched as another girl, glare evident on her face, bustled past, saying, "Darlin', it's not you. It's him."

Riku smirked, still holding onto Oleet's shoulders, smirking. "Ignore her, she's just jealous," then he tacked onto the end, a half whispered, "princess."

It was so cheesy, Kairi almost cringed. But the brunette was buying it – she was buying this guy's shit! Kairi wondered what she'd do in the situation. She wondered if she'd buy it, if she'd be unable to penetrate this layer of attractiveness and see through to the cockiness she knew was there. Just waiting to burst forth.

She held her breath and waited for the sigh.

There was always a sigh. He'd lean in, then he'd gently rest his lips onto hers and then he'd pull away, and she'd always, always, always drop her shoulders and sigh.

There was a sigh and Kairi let out her breath.

"You weren't half bad," then Riku turned a corner and left. Kairi rolled her eyes and turned to Selphie.

Who was not there. Kairi realised that she must have been there so long her friend had just left her. It wasn't unlike Selphie – she knew the strange obsession Kairi had with Riku and seemed to be under the ridiculous impression that Kairi might have a thing for Riku. And, however many times Kairi denied it, Selphie couldn't help but repeat it again, and again and again.

Kairi finally caught up with Selphie in the canteen. She quickly bought a sandwich and hurried over to the table Selphie and Naminé were sitting at. Naminé was resting a book between her legs, reading over her sandwich, crumbs falling onto it. Selphie was glaring at Kairi, picking at her salad with a plastic fork.

"You know what I think?" Kairi asked, leaning in, as though it was one of the secrets they used to tell when they were little – about that cute Sora kid who got run over by a bus and turned into that poor, unfortunate Sora kid. Or when they were making fun of the kids in the year below. Like Pence who was a little too chubby, until he got himself a gym members pass and now the girls were all over him, leaving his jealous best friend to simmer gently beside.

"No, I don't, Kairi," said Selphie. "And to be honest, I don't know if I want to. If it's about Riku-"

"Yes! That's exactly who it's about. Have you noticed that he calls them all Princess – I think it's that it's so he doesn't get confused," she explained. Then she added, "dumb sod."

Selphie rolled her eyes, "Yevon, Kairi. Riku, Riku, Riku. I'm fed up of Riku. What about Roxas? What happened to him?" Kairi looked at her perfect sandwich, fingering it gently.

She coughed, "Uhm, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Roxas. That kid you said you knew from a different town – Twilight Town. What about him? You used to obsess over him so much." Kairi decided she didn't feel like having her sandwich anymore. She gently laid it on the table but quickly regretted it. She picked it up again, giving her something to do with her hands.

"I really don't understand," she murmured.

Selphie sighed, exasperated. "Roxas! I really wanted to meet him – but you always said he was busy. Always someone on the line or you got the wrong phone number. How can you not remember?" Naminé grunted in agreement.

"Well," said Kairi. "He, um... left. And I haven't heard from him since."

Selphie shook her head, "I don't believe you." Kairi remained still, eyes focusing on the slightly stale bread in her hands. She was transfixed with the bubbles inside the bread and noticed a piece of pepper, lodged in there. "Oh, for Yevon's sake!" Selphie threw her arms in the air and slammed her hands down on the plastic table, getting up.

"I made him up." Kairi coughed.

Selphie stopped and slowly stepped back down to the table. "...what?"

"I think I made him up..." Kairi said. She looked at the ceiling, in mock thought. "Yep, I definitely made him up."

Naminé shrugged. "Figures."

Selphie paused. "But... why?"

Kairi sighed inwardly. "I don't know. Maybe because you were going on about that Irvine guy and Naminé always talked about Marluxia. I just felt left out, I guess."

Selphie sat down fast. "Oh."

Kairi dropped her sandwich, clapping her hands together. "Right! So, we need to have a plan to get back at Riku!" Selphie's head hit the table.

- - -

Selphie stretched over and tapped Naminé's shoulder, alerting the girl to her presence. Naminé turned round, a questioning look on her face as she stopped walking for a moment to let Selphie catch up with her.

"Hey, Nami," Selphie said.

"Hello," Naminé replied, her soft voice contrasting roughly with the loud music coming from Selphie's unplugged ear phones, dangling round her shoulders.

"Kairi likes Riku, doesn't she?" Selphie was straight to the point and always had been. Naminé sometimes pitied the girl for her lack of subtlety. But then again, it did come in use when she wanted something doing.

"No," Naminé stated.

"But, she must! She always goes on and on and on and on about him," Selphie cried, flinging her arms all over the place, trying to prove her point. "You know she does." An accusing finger was pointed at Naminé who was starting to wonder if letting Selphie talk to her had been a good idea.

"She doesn't. She's just curious, I think."

Selphie threw her abused arms into the air. "Curious about what exactly?!" Naminé looked at the annoyed girl next to her and wondered how she could get so annoyed over a small matter like that. It wasn't as though Kairi followed him everywhere or mooned over his image with giant posters on the walls or drew up meticulous plans to get him to notice her. "All I see is that she's obsessed with the kid and always will be."

Naminé shook her head. "Well, have you noticed that Riku has never kissed her. I think that maybe she wonders why, for example, she may think that she's not pretty enough for him."

Selphie paused. "Yeeah. But I don't see any other girls following him around, seeing who he's kissed and whatnot."

Naminé sighed, "Well, they probably, either, haven't known him long enough to know about his... habit or they have already been kissed by him – like you and me."

Selphie scowled. But she knew it made sense, maybe for once her romance-dar was letting her down and Kairi didn't like Riku. She thought back to all the times when she had told Kairi that it was obvious she had a crush on Riku. Kairi hadn't answered too quickly or too slowly, she looked like she had been thinking about it, then decided that she didn't.

"I wonder who she does have a crush on," Selphie thought, aloud.

Naminé shrugged, "She doesn't have to constantly have a love interest – unlike some people, Selphie Tilmitt."

Selphie laughed, vaguely wondering where Kairi actually was.

- - -

Kairi had thought up the plan on the way to first class. It was absolute genius, fantastically brilliant, showing off just what a mastermind she was, etc. She was bubbling with excitement – this was the first time she'd have ever acted against Riku. The only thing that was troubling her was that, although, Riku deserved it, wouldn't it be very hypocritical of her to do it?

Nahh, she reasoned with herself. If he can do it, so can I... just this once.

She strode over to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, in her most (what she hoped to be) sexy voice, "Hey there." She looked him dead in the eye, grabbing hold of his arms. He blinked at her, his mouth slowly opening and closing, like he was trying to say something but couldn't.

She laughed on the inside at his stupidity. This was so worth it.

Pulling him towards her in a swift motion, his lips crashed into hers. She could feel her lips bruise on contact and she knew that they'd be a little redder than usual for the next day or two but it would all be worth it. Words couldn't describe the moment. Standing there in the middle of the hallway, everyone staring because, "was is Kairi Amane who started it?", "oh my yevon, Riku's just standing there!", "oh wow, thank yevon for amane – she's brilliant!".

Kairi grinned into the kiss before pulling away. Riku blinked again.

He said, "I love you."

And Kairi realised that maybe the bruised lips weren't worth it if there'd be a Riku as a side-order.

- - -

Ten-to-fifteen years later, Kairi Sohma sat in her city flat (waiting for her husband to arrive so she could give him the big news) with her two best friends, Selphie Tilmitt (having "salsa" lessons with fellow romanticist and dance partner, Tidus) and Naminé Honda (recently engaged to Roxas Yagami of Twilight Town).

"I still can't believe that the Roxas you described is real, Kai."

Naminé looked up from reading her book and grinned. "I can," she said, brushing some crumbs off the book.

Kairi laughed and took another bite of the sandwich she had. The sound of the front door clicking sounded and her heart jumped. This was it. She had to tell him sooner or later. She told two other women in the room to shh before running out into the hallway and pouncing on her beloved.

"Hello, dear," he said, trying not to laugh.

"DarlingI'mpregnant." Kairi said, her face flushing.

The man stood still, arms wrapped round her. "...what?"

"I'm... pregnant?" She looked him dead in the eye, grabbing hold of his arms. He blinked at her, his mouth slowly opening and closing, like he was trying to say something but couldn't. "Is there anything you want to say?" she asked.

"This is... great news!" he covered the grin on his lips. She prised the hands off his mouth and held them over her head as she kissed him. She leant against his chest.

"Stolen kisses are the best..."

- - -

an: omg. i actually love this. but i know it's really not the best. the ending is like "le whatttttteeee?!" but i'm still pretty proud of it. i mean it's TWO THOUSAND WORDS AND A BIT. that is major for me. really, it is. i have also decided on the surnames for the characters who don't have surnames. they are based on characters from other places xD like kairi (amane), axel (ryuk) and roxas (yagami) are all taken from death note. sora (ketchum) is taken from pokemon. 'nd yes, you may laugh at that one. naminé (honda) 'nd riku (sohma) are from fruits basket. i pondered over whether to take ohshc names but i realised they were too complicated for my delicate little mind. oh the wells. i still have to name pence, olette 'nd hayner and the whole orgy. BUT I WILL DO IT SOMEDAY. yayz. stage one should be complete, not onto stage two - REVIEW.

my prompts WERE:
1. words can't describe this moment.
12. you know he called them all princess - so he wouldn't get confused.
45. cockiness.
'nd obviously i went for stolen kisses are the best.

i know, i know, i shoulda kept it so that kairi didn't like riku back so it would be all DARK 'nd INTERESTING but i felt like a happy ending.