1She sat on the floor with her back against the bedroom wall. She cried. Pulling her knees close into her chest, she rested her head on top of them. "Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?" she asked aloud. "Everything is so screwed up and you don't even care!"
She had been coping with the fact that her husband was leaving her and that her daughter was pregnant. In front of everyone else, everything had to be held together. No emotion could be shown or she would appear weak. But now in the emptiness of her room every emotion that had been stifled, flowed freely.
"You're supposed to be the one in control! Why did you let this happen to me?" she continued. She had counted on God to lead her life and guide every step that she took. But now it appeared He had let go and she had fallen into a dark pit. The signs of being able to climb out were nowhere to be seen. She felt abandoned, depressed, scared, and angry. And the worst part was that the only man that would ever hold her heart was not there to hold her and make the tears go away.
"If you don't care what happens to me, why should I?" she concluded.
After about another half hour of letting the tears fall, she wiped her eyes and mustered the strength to get on her feet. She sat on her bed and looked at the night table. A picture of Brock and her sharing a kiss was there. She picked it up and held it in her hand. She threw it at the wall with all her strength, then slowly got up and walked into the bathroom.
(Downstairs)
Cheyenne, Van, and Kyra were all sitting downstairs in the kitchensharing a pizza. The past few weeks had been hard to say the least. Cheyenne and Kyra were adjusting to life without their father and life with Van.
"Everything is so different now." Kyra said as she took a bite.
"Yeah. With Dad gone and me and Van making careless decisions." she agreed "We are responsible for a big part of this whole mess."
"Yeah but we all make mistakes. You two having a baby is just the price you'll have to pay." Kyra consoled.
Van walked to the table with another piece of pizza."I just really feel bad for your mom though. I mean she got hit from both sides. Not just with us, but she's losing her husband."
"I feel like everything is so depressing and there is never any laughter lately. Maybe we are just making a mountain out of a molehill. Things are bound to come to some normality sooner or later."Cheyenne said.
"Yeah maybe you're right. We should just all take it easy." Kyra was trying to lighten the mood ,"Let's be like Mom. She is always so strong. Sometimes I think that there is nothing that can phase her. I mean does she even have any emotion at all?"
"She's all 'grrrrr...you don't scare me, I'm Reba!" Van mused with a dumb look on his face. At this everyone laughed. A moment later they were startled by the sound of a hard thud and glass crashing. It sounded as though it came from upstairs. They knew Reba was up there, supposedly lying down.
After a moment Cheyenne said "Hang on. I'll be right back. I'm going to check on Mom."
(Upstairs)
Reba just turned off the running water when she heard the door to her bedroom open. She quickly climbed into the hot bath that she had been preparing. If someone were to barge into the bathroom, she would not be exposing anything.
Cheyenne walked into the room slowly. The doorway was crowded because Reba's purse, shoes, and jacket were lying on the floor. Cheyenne stepped over them and flipped on the light. Broken glass was lying on the floor, next to the wall with a broken frame and a loose 4x6 picture.
"Mom?" Cheyenne timidly questioned. She didn't get an answer, but instead heard the light movement of water coming from the bathroom. She knew her mom was probably in the tub so she cracked the door and knocked lightly. "Mom?"
Reba sniffed and cleared her throat so it wouldn't sound as if she were on the verge of a breakdown. She didn't want to give away an impression that she was weak. She was the strong one.
"Yeah honey?" Reba heard the crack in her voice and so did Cheyenne.
"Are you okay?" Cheyenne asked. It just hit her that her mom may have been acting strong in the presence of others, but now by herself, her heart was breaking. She cried alone.
After a moment of complete silence, Reba quietly admitted "No."
