I OWN NOTHNG
And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no
Wake up
Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months
Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
Casey sat on her bed, Hugging her knees. She cried as hard as she could.
Its was just 3 months ago that her life fell apart.
In the begining of the year Casey and Derek started to get along a little better and she was hanging around his friends alot more. They were always drinking and partying. Casey knew it was wrong but always went along with it.
Sam was always the one who drove them around. He had been sober his whole life, never drank once. But that night, She didnt know what came into her. She talked him into it. Not only was he her boyfriend, He was thier only ride home. To thier neighborhood, Which was a half hour away.
They were all so drunk that night. They didnt even think. They just got in the car. Casey could remember laughing at Sam because he was too drunk to remember how to even work the car.
He was drving, Casey was in the passenger seat, Derek was in the back, Next to Sally, And God knows what they were doing.
Casey could remember the car coming from around the cornor. She screamed. But Sam was way too drunk to stop. Or even know how.
"FUCK!" You could hear Derek flip out in the back seat. And Sally laugh like it was a game. Casey held her breath and close her eyes tight as she put her hands over her face, blocking the shattering glass.
The next thing she could remember is the blinding lights of the cop cars. And her mothers cries. But they were nothing next to Sam's mothers. She blinked a few times as they carried her away into the big, white truck.
"Sam?? Wheres Sam?? Is He okay??" She mumbled as her mother sat next to her. Her tears were taking her make up down her face with them.
"MOM!! HES OKAY, RIGHT??" Her mother cried harder and shook her head as she looked down.
Casey screamed and cried. Her whole body hurt her. But her heart hurt much, much worse.
She remembered ripping the tape and tubes off of her face, trying to get up and jump out of the truck, but they held her down.
"SAM!!" She screamed as the truck drove away.
--
--
The memory made Casey's heart feel like it fell to her stomach. She still felt it was her fault, Even though everybody told her it wasnt.
There was a slow knock at the door. Casey opened her mouth to say something, but she was too hurt to talk.
The door slowly opened as she saw Derek standing there with Sally. They knew what today was just as good as Casey did. Derek's eyes looked like he had been crying. Casey was surpirsed he would let himself look like that around Sally.
Sally's hair was messed up, and in a pony tail. She was still crying.
She walked over to my bed with her arms out. They hugged. But it made nethier of them feel even remotely better.
Casey looked up at the ceiling. She just wanted to be with Sam.
Derek leaned on the door frame. His hands shoved so far into his pockets, they just might have ripped.
He looked over to Sally and Casey hugging. He wanted to join so bad but he was too sad to even move.
Sally looked up at Casey and moved her hair out of her face
"I'm not gonna tell you its OK. Because its not. I know that. But were gonna stay sober, and were gonna learn from this, right?" She asked her with tears in her eyes.
Derek was going along with this too, He almost broke a few times, But he got through it.
Sally and Derek broke up that night, The night of the accident. They did it for Casey. It was Derek's idea. He said that it would make her feel worse if she saw them together.
If only that was the real reason. He thought to him self.
Derek couldnt help his feelings. He was in love with Casey. That was the night he was going to tell her. But, Of all nights, that turned out to be the worst possible time.
Derek let his head fall and hit the wall.
"Come on. We gotta go." Derek waved his arm to them.
They both stood up and Casey fixed her black dress, Sally brushed her hair back and ajusted her black skirt.
It made no sense to them why they were having this thing 3 months later, but Sam's parents said they 'needed time.'
They both walked out of the room, behind Derek, and went to see Sam one last time.
