My heart raced frantically in my chest. Oh the excitement! To think that I'd have the esteemed honor and privilege to combat the Cooper name against the most advanced security system ever devised. The night was young but I was almost already done. For the most advanced system in the world, a Cooper wouldn't hesitate twice. The last step was a laser grid that constantly changed and shifted like in the movies or video games. The fifty foot long hallway didn't seem dangerous though.
I hesitated and adjusted the settings on the contact lenses by looking down in my field of vision, and blinking on the words on/off. As soon as my vision came back I saw the ballet of flesh cutting lasers. My HUD granted by the contacts registered that there was eighty in total, all moving in such a way that would cut a person off, before cutting him or her down.
My pink tongue ran over my lips as I readied myself to show the world that money did not by you sanctuary from a master thief.
To describe my motions, flips, jumps, leaps, and near escapes would be impossible. Even I was hardly able to keep up with my profound rhythm and grace. You'd be as lost as red needle in a pink needle haystack. I almost danced around them, if not for the jumps through gaps I made. It took ten minutes of careful timing, precision, and down right luck, but I made it to the end and shut off the laser grid.
"Oh yeah, I'm boss." I said aloud which in hindsight was a mistake because it could have reactivated the laser grid. Since I wasn't diced up though, I proceeded into the vault after entering the combination; sixty-nine sixty-nine. I swear, the immaturity of some people even today in the year twenty fifty-five was astounding.
The vault opened and I walked into the secret treasury of a corporation giant called Dynamics, and it was something out of a fairy tale. Piles of money, gold, and regal jewelry were all piled up around me. My jaw dropped, as even I, a master thief, was surprised to see such a haul. Shame I was only one man, I couldn't carry even a fraction of one measly pile away. Still, my target was much simpler then a hoard of money, gold, and jewels.
I casually walked around, keeping my eye out for- oh there it is.
"Found you little guy." I said and quickly swiped the gleaming, golden, crooked C. It was so light that I was surprised it could actually cave someone's skull in, let alone not bend under ten pounds of pressure. Just to be sure it was genuine; I tried with all of my might to break the thing but soon tired out.
Smirking confidently to myself, I put my blue and white raccoon calling card on the pedestal I found it on, and stored the C in my backpack.
"Ah, now to-" I began but had to duck to avoid a blue ball of light that would have fried my fur right off, "run for my life apparently." I finished as I saw the trigger happy assailant.
"I've got you now Ringtail." The sandy vixen growled as she bared her teeth at me. Her gun was whirring up for another shot but I quickly lifted up my hands.
"Okay, take it easy." I said grinning cheerily. "There's no reason we should make this violent Ms. Fox."
"My thoughts exactly, but every time I try to arrest you, you get away. I'm not taking any chances." She said with a sly smirk and then fired again.
"Come on Inspector!" I said as I dodged the shot and ducked behind a pile of gold coins. I wasn't even there for five seconds before the pile exploded and sent the coins flying. "Can't we talk this out? I mean, I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Tell that to your arrest warrant with nine felony accusations." She growled as she followed me with the gun, making a shot here and there, only missing me by inches if not centimeters because I was fast enough to react.
Oh that Carmelita, always the fiery fox. I had to hand it to her though, it took some damn good police work to keep up with me. She most likely pieced all the pieces together and came running here tonight. I should have killed the rat who sold me his security clearance, but I'm no murderer sadly. He probably went squealing to inspector Fox the minute after our deal.
But revenge would have to wait; I was running out of places to hide. My backpack was empty of tools because I needed it to hold the metal C, but the red bag strapped to my thigh had all kinds of nifty gadgets and thieving essentials. I made sure to hide behind an extra large pile of money before frantically searching for something that would save my grey butt.
Lock-pick, no that's stupid, security splices, equally stupid, smoke-bomb, perfect. I tossed the smoke bomb over the pile and it landed just feet away. Then I jumped out with my hands up.
"Okay! Okay." I said with a quasi-worried look on my face. To my surprise my ruse worked, and Inspector Fox actually stopped shooting. She didn't take the gun off me and kept the sights focused right on my face. "I'll go peacefully, just don't fry me."
The vixen glared at me, hoping to see just the smallest sign of deceit. Beads of sweat began to race down my neck and brow as the pressure set in. If she just decided to zap me now, I'd be unable to dodge at this close range. She was only fifteen feet away, but her shock pistol would catch me before I could blink. I was hoping, praying that she wouldn't pull the trigger, and would instead walk over to me and just arrest me.
Luckily, the Coopers' star shined on me and she inched closer to me. "Smart move kid, turn around and get on your knees." She hissed and I was more than happy to oblige.
My coon ears were bent and I carefully followed her movements. I could see her walking to me now, dazzling brown eyes glaring at me suspiciously, curly hair bouncing with every step, her perfect body swaying to the left and right as she moved. Please don't think down on me when I say that I often watch her. I don't plan or killing her or stealing her toenails, or some other demented perverted thing. I just… it's hard to explain. For generations my family has married into other thieving families expanding their power and influence amongst the thieving community, and I'd be the first one to want to marry a cop. Everything about her, and I mean damn well everything about her, drove me wild. Even when I was desperately running for my life from her, I wished I could let her take me in. She was a perfect incarnate of Venus the Greek Goddess. So beautiful and radiant that no man, especially me, deserved her.
When I watched her, I learned everything about her, her favorite music, her favorite books, favorite foods, favorite shows, and I looked away when she started to undress… eventually I looked away I'll admit, but if you've seen her body you would hardly be able to blame me, you probably wouldn't be able to look away! Those perky and supple breasts, her rocking hips, her toned butt, strong legs… okay got to stop think of that. My grey pants left just enough to the imagination without me thinking of Ms. Fox in an impure manner.
I only watched her because when I set out to her apartment, I wanted to ask her out to dinner or something foolish, but then I'd puss out and spend an hour trying to make myself man up and ask her. Still, I was just a hormonal imbalanced eighteen year old master thief, I can't be perfect too. I saw a hot woman and I was genetically programmed to lose my mind as Bentley put it. Ms. Carmelita Fox might be older then me by eight or so years, but… God damn! I want to be in the town that cougar comes to.
"All right Cooper, put your hands behind your back." She ordered which I immediately complied with. She reached for her handcuffs at her perfect hips and smiled with pride. "You did the right thing Cooper, I might even put in a good word for you. Maybe the judge will go easy on you and-"
I didn't find out what the judge might or might not do, instead the smoke-bomb my right foot was hanging over, came swiftly down and crushed it, releasing the smoke. The vixen screamed and began coughing, and I quickly put as much distance between myself and her.
"Sorry beautiful, but I know what they do in prison to guys like me with a cute butt." I said shivering and loading his backpack with as much money as he could muster.
"Cooper!" She coughed and made her way out of the smoke. "When I get my hands on you," more coughing, "I'll make sure you go to prison where they will pound your cute little," more coughing thankfully.
Fearing for my poor butt's safety, I booked it the Hell out of there. Hoping I got away scot-free was like hoping I wouldn't die without breathing. Ms. Fox was close on my tail within moments and cursing her pretty head off in Spanish. Her words rolled off her tongue and made me think of its pretty pink movements. I stumbled a bit and but that was all it took for Ms. Fox to catch me. She tackled me to the ground by the legs and crawled on top of me.
"You're not going anywhere kid!" She hissed in my ear and pinned my arms down.
I struggled but she pressed my head into the ground and I whimpered. She stopped being so rough but she grabbed my hands and pulled them behind my back. My heart chilled when I felt those frozen cuffs click around my wrists. She hauled me up and my world came crashing down. Some master thief I turned out to be. My first big gig and I blew it. I was distracted by her beautiful veneer and I got caught.
She was very angry with me, so angry that it clouded her mind and she took a handful of my hair and pulled, using it as sort of a short and tight leash. Carmelita was very violent and I couldn't keep from letting out little gasps and moans of pain. Once again my pain filled noises saved me from a beating, as she stopped when she realized what she was doing.
"Sorry Cooper, force of habit for people who throw me into the Rheine River." She growled. "I got sick after that, with pneumonia."
I chuckled nervously as she led me more gently out of the building. "Sorry, you came out of nowhere and I panicked."
"Do you kiss everyone who surprises you?" She questioned menacingly.
"Just the pretty ones." I replied.
"Don't try to flatter me now raccoon." She scowled. Had I been able to look around and see her face, I'd have seen that her face was slightly pink now.
"How many years you think I'll get?" I asked, my ears drooping as we walked through the deserted building to the exit.
"Not going to lie to you hon, you've messed up bad." She sighed. "Sure your heart was in the right place but you broke the law, and the law is absolute."
"I didn't keep them you know, I gave them back to their rightful owners." I retorted proudly. "I only kept the small reward money the people gave me for lunch, gas, and tolls."
The vixen giggled. "Oh, I'm sure you didn't sell all the items for a couple thousand grand a pop and-"
"If I had, then why would I be here tonight?" I pointed out. "And don't say it was just to see you again, that's a given."
"Because thieves never stop until their caught." Ms. Fox countered as she was now blushing red. My Cooper charms worked wonders on the ladies, if I could use them properly. I always slip up here and there because I get so nervous around pretty ladies. Thankfully Ms. Fox was leading me away in chains, bound up like a bondage slave... damn it! There I go again.
"M-Ms. Fox?" I asked with a stutter because I was thinking of what she could do to me in such a vulnerable state. She thought I was stuttering because I was afraid of my coming punishment. "I don't suppose you'd let me go this once?"
"And why would I do that Ringtail?" She asked which made me shudder with delight. I loved that pet name as much as I loved her tightening grip on my flexed arm.
"The thing I stole tonight, it doesn't belong to Dynamics, it's my birthright. The metal heirloom has been passed down in my family generation to generation. When my parents were… well let's just say that it was sold off with the rest of my inheritance." I finished, wanting to get off the touchy subject of my parent's tragic death.
"I know about your family Cooper." The vixen admitted mournfully. "My father used to chase your father if you can believe it. He told me not to let my emotions get in the way if I ever had to chase after one of you sneaky coons. As good natured you are, you're all still thieves."
"Wow, isn't that something?" I said as my tail sagged behind me.
Carmelita bit her lips. "Hey, Sly. Cheer up. You're a sweet kid, just a little misguided. I know I probably shouldn't, seeing as how you got me with that little smoke-bomb, which the smell got into my fur by the way," she added a little spicily "but I'll talk to some people, see about getting your sentence shortened. Who knows? Maybe I can convince some people to have you absolved into Interpol? We could really use someone like you against the thieves guild."
My ears perked up. "I heard you'd been trying to hunt them down on the side. Aside from me, they're Interpol's number one priority right?"
Carmelita smiled as we left the empty building. "I'm impressed Ringtail-"
Oh God yes! Call me that again and spank me until I cry! …Sorry you had to hear that.
"-you've done your homework."
Shrugging I continued. "If you don't already know, they've got connections with a lot of companies, much like Dynamics." I hinted as she put me in her police car.
"Really!" She gapped and didn't shut the door just yet. "Pray, do go on."
"Well companies rather like Dynamics like to dig up dirt on their competitors and thieves are their first bet. We can get into their secret files from the inside and deliver them. Then companies like Dynamics but not Dynamics," I said sarcastically, "use the information as bargaining chips, which might explain why Robotic Industries was so willing to be bought out, despite their unfaltering stock price surge. Not that Dynamics would ever do such a thing." I coughed.
Carmelita took all of my info in and muttered something to herself. "You've given me a lot to think about ringtail. Any more hints like that and we might be able to cut a deal."
I sighed and my ears flattened on my head. "I got one more for you before tonight is over."
She leaned in close. "Yes?"
I smiled meekly. "You should have brought backup."
The vixen cocked an eyebrow at me before she felt a small sting in the back of her neck. She reached to swat the small mosquito but her hand never made it there before she fell unconscious, her face landing in my lap. After taking a thousand mental pictures of her beautiful face so close to my area, I quickly wiggled my way out of the car and grabbed the keys from her back pocket. Don't worry, I didn't grope her or anything, I'd never take advantage of a lady unconscious, drunk was a different story. You can have a lot of fun with drunk girls, they get Hella pissed when they wake up with sharpie all over their faces!
"Evening Bentley." I said with a cheerful grin to the un-amused turtle.
"She caught you, again?" He scowled. "I'm starting to think you actually like being arrested."
I shrugged. "Hey, she's hard to stay away from."
"Uh-huh." He said and unlocked the cuffs. Once they were off I quickly put Ms. Fox into the front seat of her armored car, turned it and the heat on, and locked all the doors. She'd wake up in an hour, warm, cozy, and safe from any weirdoes.
"Alright, let's roll." I said and bade farewell to the lovely Carmelita with a small kissed coon card before getting in the Cooper van.
My mission was successful. I got to have a normal… ish conversation with the lovely Carmelita, and I managed to recapture the Cooper clan heirloom which I would use for the headpiece of my mighty mahogany cane.
All in all, not a bad night.
AUTHOR'S NOTES~~~ Hey all, long time publisher, first time Cooper writer. I've been kicking a Sly Cooper story idea in my head for a while now and been playing a certain game of late. So now I'm going to dissect the game and insert it into Sly Cooper… SLY COOPER THE GAME! Not the person! The game! …Which you've now lost… sorry.
Can we start over?
Okay, so anyways, this is going to be a quick story of love, romance, danger, betrayal, tragedy, and revenge. Not necessarily in that order but still. Lemon? Possible but I doubt it. More to come, thanks for reading, finally branching out from Star Fox to do this and it feels good. The new chemistry set of the Sly Cooper series is fun, to say in the least. The reason I made Carmelita older then Sly by several years is because I always envisioned her being older then him, especially in the first game. She looks like an adult and he looks a bit childish to me. One IMPORTANT NOTE is that Sly wears a really concealing mask that makes him unrecognizable with it on. It's sort of like Clark Kent's glasses, makes him so stealthy, but in this case it's actually good. Maybe I'll post a picture of it on if I get around to it.
I always wanted a first person story but never got around it until now so this is going to be an experiment as well, much like Krystal's Honeymoon was an experiment for… well never mind. This story won't be very long, about six chapters and done because I'm leaving very soon because of obligations to my country. Anyways, have a good one! Thanks again!
