Title: Moonlight Recriminations
Author: tir-synni
A/N: Intended as a b-day fic for velvetmace of livejournal. XD
Rating: R(?)

Moonlight Recriminations

Laying naked in the moonlight, with Edward Elric sleeping on his chest and the scent of sex permeating the room, Colonel Roy Mustang knew that now was the time for self-rebuttals. Usually, this time of the night was the worst for those. While he drifted between sleep and sleeplessness, the past would swamp him like a tidal wave, cursing him for both sins he had committed and sins he left unanswered. The faces of the dead would haunt him, blood would burn his hands. And surely now was the time for his mind's wicked tricks, with the evidence of his latest sin resting against him.

Usually, questions concerning his own judgment would herald the storm. After all, he had slept with a fifteen-year-old! Not only a fifteen-year-old but one under his command, one compelled to obey and follow his lead. Someone too young to realize the full implications of tonight's actions or the enormity of what he had lost. What could Roy possibly have been thinking?

Soon, questions concerning his morality would follow. After all, what kind of monster was he to sleep with such an innocent? (No matter what the subject was, Ishbal generally popped up at this point.) He had clearly taken advantage of the child's naivete and trust and had practically raped the youth. What separated him from the various demons he had encountered in his career? What separated him from the likes of Tucker?

At some point or another, insults erupted. After all, what kind of moron was he, threatening all he and his people had worked for? Priding himself on his foresight and planning, he nonetheless always seemed to make the most foolish of decisions. By choosing to sleep with Edward, he disrupted everything he had fought for since the Ishbal Massacre. His selfishness knew no bounds, uncaring of how this would affect his subordinates, uncaring of how this would affect Edward. He had possibly ruined all their lives for this stunt! And was he some sort of sick pedophile, preferring oblivious children over willing adults? If he wanted a male, he could have asked Havoc instead of seducing a fifteen-year-old under his command. And Edward . . . what would the poor boy think in the morning? How badly would Roy's selfishness hurt him?

From there, things tended to get jumbled. Foolish . . . heartless . . . monstrous . . . idiotic . . . how could he have done such a thing . . . how would this affect . . . what had he been thinking . . . selfish monster. . . .

Edward grumbled sleepily and nuzzled Roy's chest. Roy smiled, lightly kissing his lover's blond hair.

Roy would graciously welcome those recriminations . . . as soon as his ass stopped hurting