Author's Notes: This is somewhat of a sequel to my first story, "The Train." This story concerns Susan Pevensie's reaction to the loss of her family. This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fan fiction.
This is an updated, revised version of this story.
Peter Pevensie was startled out a light sleep by the ringing of a telephone. Looking at the clock, he frowned. He had dozed off and now it was evident who was calling him.
"Hello, Ed."
"Where in the world are you, Pete?"
"I must have fallen asleep. Is everyone already there?"
"No, we're still waiting on Eustace and Jill, but you should hurry up. Digory says dinner will be ready in a half hour."
"I'll be there in a quarter-hour," Peter said, smiling.
* *
Susan Pevensie looked at the envelope lying on the table. It contained a letter from her brother, Peter. She had read it over and over, but she knew she must make a decision soon. She hesitantly opened the envelope once more and skimmed its contents.
Dear Susan,
Professor Kirke has asked us to join him for dinner. Please come with us, Su. We need to be a family once again—don't you realize it? Lucy misses you terribly. We all do!
Eustace and Jill will be there, too. They would love to see you again. There will be a perfect chance for us to share stories of our time in Narnia and have a fun, entertaining night.
I expect to see you there, Susan. Don't let us down. We miss you!
Love,
Peter
Susan tossed the letter onto the table. She had gotten several letters from her siblings, but replied to none of them. Being with them only brought back memories of Narnia and of happy times—times that were forever gone now. Now, the professor wanted them all together again to talk about Narnia. Narnia? It had been so long—too long. Was Narnia even real? Had they really been Kings and Queens? Had Digory really been there in the beginning to witness Aslan breath it into existence?
She wanted to believe the answer was yes, but doing so only caused an incurable longing to return to what Aslan had said she could not. It is better to pretend it is not real. Why cause myself such pain by pining away for Narnia when Narnia doesn't long for me? That thought surprised her. How does she know that Narnia doesn't long for her when she isn't there to see for herself? Because Narnia isn't real. It never was.
* *
Peter arrived just after Eustace and Jill. Lucy ran to him, giving him a big hug and her usual bright smile. Edmund shook his older brother's hand, but soon traded it for a hug. Peter looked around the room with a look of disappointment.
"She didn't come, then?"
"No, Peter. I'm sorry."
Peter shook his head in disbelief as his eyes filled with sadness. He couldn't understand his sister's behavior. Why had she turned against him—and against Narnia itself? He had told her so many times that Aslan had not forsaken them—that He was with them even in England, yet Susan wouldn't accept it. She kept saying it was a game they made up and that Aslan was just an imaginary talking lion. It broke Peter's heart to think that Susan would dare to deny Aslan.
* *
Professor Kirke was telling the most intriguing story of his trip to Narnia when they all caught a glimpse of movement in the corner of the room. Peter for a brief second thought that Susan had perhaps changed her mind and decided to come after all. But a few seconds later, his eyes had focused on a most unusual image: it was a man bound to a tree with rope. Was he Narnian? Yes, Peter was surer of that fact than of any other in his life! The man appeared to be about 20 or 25 years old. He had muscular arms and strong, broad shoulders. His face had a scanty looking beard, but his eyes—blue and fearless—gave him the look of a King. Peter's face turned pale with rage at the sight of the ropes—who would tie this man to a tree?—and he clenched his fist before speaking.
"Speak, if you're not a phantom or a dream. You have a Narnian look about you and we are the seven friends of Narnia."
The man gave no reply, perhaps he was unable. He looked equally shocked at seeing them. His lips moved but no sound came from them. Peter spoke again.
"Shadow or spirit or whatever you are…if you are from Narnia, I charge you in the name of Aslan, speak to me. I am Peter the High King."
The man's lips moved again but his image faded away before any of the seven friends of Narnia could understand what was happening around them. One thing they all agreed on was that this man was without a doubt Narnian, perhaps even the King of Narnia.
**
Susan was feeling lonely. She now wished she had gone to the Professor's, but it was too late now: a week had passed. Neither Peter nor her siblings had tried to contact her again. Had they given up on her? It is the other way: I gave up on them.
Susan sighed. She was in London, but still unsure if she should go back home to Finchley—to her family. She was scared to try to enter back into their lives after she had been so cruel to them. She had in fact abandoned them in exchange for parties and social gatherings. She went to places she knew to be inappropriate—wore clothes she knew to be too scandalous.
Susan, who was walking near the London Platform, noticed a large crowd of people was gathering up ahead. As she approached, she could see there was a fire at the station.
"What has happened?" she asked a bystander.
"There's been a crash! They say there are hundreds dead and wounded. A horrible scene, surely."
"A crash? That is horrible indeed." Susan agreed with the bystander, but something felt wrong. It was as if this crash would impact her in some terrible way. But how could it?
Susan caught a glimpse of something. No, it couldn't be. I am just seeing things! She tried to pretend, like always, that these little reminders of Narnia aren't there. Susan couldn't deny this one, though.
Standing in the distance was a Lion. He was staring at Susan, tears streaming down his face. It was Aslan—here in England just as Peter had said to her so many times.
There was hope after all! Susan smiled as she started to run to Him, but quickly the mood changed. She stopped running and gave him a puzzled look. Aslan was crying—but why? Was His presence here because of the train collision? Was He sad because of it? No, she saw it in his eyes. The loving eyes that looked at her so many times in Narnia—the eyes that still loved her so much even though she denied Him—Aslan was crying for her.
She once again started walking to Him, but He gave out a loud roar.
"Aslan, what is wrong? Why can't I get closer to you?"
Aslan began to sob. It was a scene she had never imagined seeing: Aslan, the great Lion, so broken that He would sob. Truly, events taking place at this moment were impossible for anyone to comprehend. What could be so bad that even Aslan would grieve? She took another step forward—Aslan growled.
"Aslan, speak to me! What is going on? I've never seen you act this way. Tell me now!"
"I love you, Susan. Please remember that I was with you all the time—and I will be with you through the difficult path you will now walk, even though I shall not appear to you again. One day I hope to see you again, but that is not for me to decide anymore. Only you can change your path now, child. It is a lonely path—you will have no one to help you—but follow your heart and you will find your own way."
"What about my family. Can't I go back to them?"
Aslan gave a final sob and disappeared.
Susan stared at the spot where Aslan had stood moments before. Had he really even been there? Oh Susan, even now you still doubt? She thought. He didn't want you to walk to that spot. What was He trying to protect you from?
Susan walked toward the place of Aslan's appearance and soon discovered that bodies were being placed there as they were removed from the wreckage. Clearly, Aslan didn't want to me see these bodies. It is a horrible scene to witness.
She was about to turn away and leave, but Susan stopped when she saw it lying there on the ground. Susan screamed.
"No! Oh, Aslan…No! This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real. Oh no, this cannot be real."
Susan ran to the body lying there on the ground. She broke into hysterical screams and kept repeating that it wasn't real. It was real, indeed. Susan had found Lucy's body by the rails.
