Hi, my name's AL. Known as "Local Boy makes good". Or by my friends, "Local Boy makes fanfictions". And also known as "Local Boy eats food". Anyway, in my quest to be one of the most unoriginal people on the planet, I've decided to do an online "journal" of sorts to start off my sequel to my most famous fanfiction "Calling All Angels" entitled "Prepare Thyself".

Now, I'd like to say that this is a very original thing and that this journal thing is a revolutionary fanfiction idea. But, a lot of people have done it before me. But, in any event, I feel justified, and fuck it, let's do an online journal to begin and eventually end my new fanfiction "Prepare Thyself", so that you may read about the history of this disaster in the making. I just thank my lucky stars that I didn't do a "Danny and Tuck Strike Back" journal. Because, by the time we made to the end, you'd just read about me sitting in a corner, crawled up in a fetal position, rocking myself back and forth, and eyeing a shot-gun within 1 foot within reach.


First off, a summery of the story. As you know this will have tons of off-screen special effects, we've already created a full-scale model of heaven and hell, a giant ape, and a dude that flies. Nope, none of that. No bells and whistles like that.It's just gonna be a straight-up comedy/fantasy/romance/thingy. Just nothing but wise-ass characters, smart remarks, and the occasional cursing. But still, the story's gonna have a moral and a lot of sweet moments that will either make you go "squee" or "awww".

The story is really a "sequel". It's a follow-up. It's what takes place a year after the original story. Danny and Sam are having a very healthy relationship. Well, until a demonic portal from hell opens up at Red Bank, New Jersey, releasing many evil demons. At the same time, Bartleby and Loki, who I'm sure you already know from the movie Dogma, rise from the somewhat "dead" to attempt to destroy the Earth, again. This time by creating their own Church of Sin. In doing so, they try to convert every person in the world to commit sins that will in turn send the entire world literally to hell. So, Danny, Sam, Harvey, and Jay and Silent Bob, and a new angel, must join forces to destroy the evil…uh…evil.


I'm going back to the well, folks. The well of humor, rock music, smart-ass comments, and romance. Come back to the well with me. Let us both take a drink from the well that really sealed my name as a fanfictioneer. And the wellspring of everything good that's ever happened to me online. And follow me and the characters as we make the biggest mistake of our lives to try and follow-up the greatest fanfiction I've ever done.

I don't want to call it a sequel because, well, "Jaws 2" was a sequel, and look what happened to that. And "Evening Star" was a sequel to "Terms of Endearment". And let me tell you, to the guys out there on fanfiction and on the computer in general, if you don't cry at "Terms of Endearment", you have no heart. You're never gonna get a girlfriend. But "Evening Star" was a TERRIBLE sequel. Those movies made the big mistake of saying that they were sequels. And even though this isn't a movie, this isn't a sequel. It's a follow-up. You know, checkin' in on our characters 1 year later.

So, follow the journey from Amity Park, NJ ( I think that Amity Park should take place in Jersey. And that's how it shall be from now on), to Heaven, to Hell, and all across the country. Come with me on the journey that is, (AL spreads arms across and above his head) "Prepare Thyself". That raising my arms bit was my Jesus impression. He died for our sins, it's my Catholic upbringing. I love Jesus. So should you. He died for our sins. Do you hear me my Semitic friends? Wise up, the end is coming. You don't wanna die and get stuck up in front of the gates for all eternity saying "What happened? We thought he was just another rabbi." Bull-shit. He's our savior. And what better way to pay tribute to him than naming my story "Prepare Thyself", which happens to be the poster tagline for the movie "Dogma", one of the most pro-Jesus movies out there. I don't care what you say. It restored my faith a LOT.


I know I'm goin' to hell for writing this thing. But I knew that back on "Calling All Angels". But I'm not worried. I know that God has a great sense of humor. Once again, look at the platypus. But if by some miracle of chance that I AM going to hell, I'm just gonna enjoy the ride and live life to my fullest. Which is what you should ALWAYS do. You only live once, enjoy it. Don't waste your life.

And now as a special treat. I'm gonna show you a sneak peek of the intermission "journal" entry that will come up during the middle of this fic. My way to keep you coming back to the story to check up on our characters. So here is a preview, a "Coming Attraction" if you will, of my next journal entry.


(Middle of the story)

(AL is openly sobbing and screaming)

Christ! We're fucking ruined! What are we gonna do! (sobs more and screams gibberish) I hate EVERYBODY so much! This is worse than "The PhantoMASK"! (sobs uncontrollably more) AHHHH! Where's that shotgun!

(end)


(Back to the Present)

Ok…..I guess I assumed too quickly on that one. But nevertheless, enjoy the story. I think you're gonna love this. It's gonna be hilarious and heartwarming and hopefully very enlightening to the people reading it.

Enjoy the story and God bless.

I'm screwed, aren't I?

PhantomAL