Disclaimer: The world of Hogwarts, and any characters whose names you recognize, are the lovely work of J. K. Rowling
Okay...wow. It's been years since I've been on this site. It's been years since I've written, period. So...I'm not sure how this story is going to be. You all are going to have to stick with me a few chapters, let me know if it's too far-fetched. If it is, I'll scrap it-if not, I'll continue with it. Or maybe I'll continue regardless. Honestly this chapter sort of wrote itself...sorry, I'll stop babbling. I'm just excited to be back on this site! I'm giving you the prologue and the tiniest bit of the first chapter (just to get a taste of what the characters are like when they're older, post flashback) and then I'll upload more as I write more. Okay! On with the story!
Prologue
Second Year - Black Residence
"Dorcas, hurry up!" James Potter pounded on the door. I rolled my eyes, turning back to the mirror nervously.
"Patience is a virtue," I called back. I put in my second earring, its bright silver a contrast to my dark hair. I stood back and looked at myself, frowning. Would the Blacks like it? Would one Black in particular?
The knocking on the door continued.
"Alright, alright, keep your pants on-Sirius!" I gasped as I opened the door. James pouted in the corner of my vision, but I only had eyes for the boy in front of me. He was beaming shyly in his dress robes, his unruly dark hair calmed and slicked down.
"You look beautiful, Doe," he smiled, holding out his arm to me. I blushed furiously but took it, ignoring James's sour look.
"Don't be so grumpy, Jamesy," Sirius winked at me - which didn't help how red my face was getting.
"That's my cousin you've got there," he grumbled from behind him. "How else am I supposed to look?" I giggled into my hand. I could hardly believe my luck. Halfway through our second year at Hogwarts, and my favorite cousin and I were attending the Christmas ball in the Black family manor. My brother Wolf, two years younger, was at home, green with jealousy.
We continued through the halls, the home seeming grander and grander as we went. I couldn't keep my eyes off of the wealthy looking people posing haughtily in portraits; occasionally one turned up a nose at us.
"Half blood," I heard one woman whisper, gossiping to another. My smile faded slightly, but we continued on. I tried to tune into Sirius and James's Quidditch chatter, but the closer we got to the ballroom, the bigger the knot in my stomach grew. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous; but here I was, palms sweating and heart beating hard in my chest.
"Are you alright?" Sirius whispered suddenly to me, his grey eyes wide with concern.
"I'm fine," I smiled back at him. Your house is just extremely intimidating, I thought in my head. Outside, I said, "just a little nervous to meet the rest of your family, is all."
"Don't be silly, they'll love you!" Sirius cried. "Brightest witch in the second year!"
"Besides Lily Evans," James piped up from behind us, his crush evident in the way he spoke her name.
I rolled my eyes. Lily Evans - my biggest competition. And I didn't love the fact that she had some sort of trance on my cousin; he basically followed her around like a puppy, embarrassing himself even more now than our first year.
"Oh yes, please do tell us more about the infallible Lily Evans," I groaned, turning to smile at him so he knew I was only teasing.
"I'm going to marry that girl someday," James looked at me, solemn.
"We're only twelve," I reminded him. "The year before Hogwarts, you thought you were going to marry that celebrity singer, what was her name-"
"What's going on here?"
I whipped my head around, our group stopping suddenly at the voice in front of us, Sirius's arm tensing in mine. We were face to face with an older girl; wildly curled black hair framed her face, but it was her expression that stood out. Her heavy lidded eyes were wild, dark eyebrows pulled down into a sneer. She exuded confidence. It was clear she thought us beneath her.
"What do you want, Bellatrix?" Sirius snapped, moving slightly in front of me.
"Nothing much," Bellatrix drawled, locking eyes with me. I looked down quickly, eager to be anywhere but here. She looked lazily at each one of us in turn as though she had all the time in the world. She crossed her arms slowly. "I just need to borrow this one for a second." She then uncrossed her arms; suddenly she was holding her wand, pointing it right at me.
"Me?" I squeaked, and instantly cleared my throat. I knew this girl - she was a sixth year at Hogwarts, and her reputation preceded her. What I could understand that myself, as a second year, would be smart to stay clear of Bellatrix Black's path.
"No," Sirius spit at her. "She's not going with you."
Bellatrix laughed lightly, twirling her wand and tucking it back under her arm. I didn't see where she had placed it, but it was suddenly gone.
"Just a tour, Sirius dear," the older girl reached forward and pinched her cousin's cheek, a steely look in her black eyes. Then she looked to me. Lightning fast, her fingers were around my arm and I found myself following numbly. In a second I was looking back at the boys - they looked back at me with equal faces of surprise, mouths open slightly.
"I'll bring her back quick as lightning," she called carelessly over her shoulder, digging her fingers into my arm a little harder.
"Oh - yes," I gasped. Why was I talking? Why didn't I stop? "I'll meet you in the ballroom," I added. The boys looked after me uncertainly. They had taken a few steps forward after us, but had fallen back, confused.
"We'll come looking for you in ten minutes," Sirius shouted after me, worry evident in his voice. They were scared to undermine Bellatrix's unspoken authority. I understood; I was scared to even stop walking with her.
"I got it," I muttered, yanking my arm from Bellatrix's grasp. "Where are we going, anyway?" My voice sounded much braver than I felt. Bellatrix sharply rounded a corner and I followed; my feet seemed to be moving of their own accord. I felt as though even if I tried to stop I would continue, my feet pulling me never too far from Bellatrix.
"Sure you do, sweetheart." Bellatrix's voice dripped syrupy sweetness, and a shiver ran up my back. I lurched forward, nearly tripping over the hem of my dark blue dress. I had broken out in a cold sweat; I had a terrible feeling about this. But I was too terrified to do anything. "It's Dorcas, right?"
"That's right," I whispered.
"Second year at Hogwarts?"
"Yes."
"Half-blood?"
"Y-" I stopped myself. "What?"
"Father a muggle?" She said sharply, her voice no longer sweet. "Aunt a squib?"
This was enough to stop me in my tracks; but Bellatrix stopped too, whirling around and facing me. The tall ceiling hallways were closing in on me; the portraits were whispering fiercely and the braziers on the wall casting shadows that danced and flickered behind the flames.
I stared back at her in a way that I hoped was defiant, but was probably more scared child.
"Brother named Wolf?"
"How do you know so much about my family?" I whispered at her.
A small smile pulled at her lips, but her eyes were not involved. They stayed cold and unmoving. It was rather eerie.
"I take pride in knowing the bloodlines of those my relatives choose to cavort with. My pure blood cousins. Sirius." She enunciated his name slowly. "A brother named Wolf...a daughter named Dorcas-Doe. How...farm-like." Her shrieking laughter filled the hall quite suddenly, and I jumped back with a start. I looked behind me nervously. Had the hall always been this dark? I couldn't see the end. I was suddenly aware of how fast I was breathing, of how cold but sweaty my hands were. I instinctively dried them on the front of my dress, the material catching beneath my fingers. I itched for my wand. I would do anything for the security of knowing that it was within reach; but alas, in the hurry to meet up with James and Sirius, I had left it with the rest of my belongings in the room I had gotten ready in.
"There's someone I'd like you to meet." All traces of laughter were gone from Bellatrix's face; now, a maniacal light fueled her new smile. She motioned me forward, walking backwards through a door that had opened suddenly, without me noticing. "This is Fenrir." I jumped about a mile as Bellatrix whispered into my ear. "He'll show you what we think of those with filthy blood in the noble house of Black. You will never sully our family name. Not after we're through with you. No one will have you…not after. You're just lucky we're going easy on you and it isn't the full m-ah, but I've said too much. Goodbye, filthy half-blood."
I found myself staring at a quickly slammed door, starting at the loud noise. I turned around slowly to see the face of a man rising above me. His teeth were bared, shadows thrown across his marred features from the fireplace, the only source of light in the small room.
I opened my mouth to let out a scream, but no sound came out.
"It's a full moon tomorrow." Fenrir's voice scraped across my ears like nails on a chalkboard, low and gravelly.
"What do you want with me?" I found my words finally, eyes wide with terror. I could feel the wood of the door digging into my back. My fingers scrambled for the doorknob, but it was locked. "What do you want?" I shrieked again, panic rising as I realized I was trapped in this small room with this huge, terrifying man. The way the shadows were moving across his face, his pointed teeth bared at me, he looked less than human. And when he snarled, snapping those teeth inches away from my face, I let out a terrified scream. I pushed at him, but my motions were futile. They were the movements of a wasp against a giant. He let out a booming laugh, and pure instinct kicked in. I kicked him, as hard as I could. Ducking under his grasp I ran as fast as I could to the end of the room, grabbing the first heavy item I could-a three legged stool-and turned back, brandishing my new weapon. I jumped backwards; how had he appeared so silently, in front of me again?
I let out a loud sob, breathing ragged.
"It's nearly the full moon," Fenrir said again. "If only one more day had passed...but alas," he said sorrowfully, wrenching the stool from my grasp with a single pull. "This will have to do." Terrible thoughts filled my head, worst case scenarios. Would he rape me? Surely not, I was only twelve...was he going to kill me? Did either case happen to only twelve year olds? I was ignorant to either scenario. I had only read about these things in newspapers, and heard whispers. Fast as lightning these thoughts chased themselves in circles in my panicked mind.
A shrill, high pitched noise met my ears. It took me a moment to realize it was my own screaming. I fought and kicked the beast of a man, tearing at his face, his eyes, but he snapped at my fingers until my screams grew into great, sobbing gasps.
This went on for what felt like hours, but in reality only a few minutes passed before Fenrir's head jerked away from where he had been gnawing on the inside of my upper arm, much like a dog. Blood dripped from his mouth and I fell against the wall behind me, faint. I stared at the door, not quite comprehending what I was seeing. Was Bellatrix back? I thought weakly. A flash of light erupted from her wand and Fenrir was thrown backwards, crumpling to the floor in a heap. The girl ran forward and I crouched against the wall, shielding my head and screaming as loudly as I could. Deep, wracking sobs forced their way from my throat, tears streaming down my cheeks, mingling with blood.
"It's okay, it's okay! I'm not going to hurt you!" I refused to look up at her. The girl's gentle but insistent hands pulled under my arms, forcing me into a standing position. I fought back weakly, but was quickly pulled from the room. It wasn't until we were out in the hallway, door locked again behind us, that I got a look at her face.
"Bellatrix?" I gasped, but even as I said it I knew it wasn't true. This girl looked like a warmer copy of the girl who had first dragged me into the room; tanner skin, lighter hair and eyes-like honey.
"No, I'm Andromeda," the girl said fearfully, staring at my neck and arms. "Looks like I got you just in time. Sirius and James are looking for you...I followed them, I heard them talking. I was afraid of this...quick, follow me!" She said suddenly, gently half-carrying, half-pulling me with her through a set of double doors. Her insistence had been spurred on by the sound of my name echoing down the halls.
"James," I said weakly, responding too late as the doors closed behind me.
"It's okay," the girl promised, setting me down onto what was probably the most comfortable four poster bed I would ever touch in my life. I blinked slowly, my surroundings blurry. "I've got you now. I want to be a healer...I can fix this," she assured me, though her worried eyes continued to rove over my skin. "Dittany...accio, accio accio" she muttered, and several vials flew open from a large, chestnut wardrobe on the other side of the room.
"What happened in there?" She asked sharply, as I wordlessly gave her my arm, where the word of the damage was. I looked away, wincing as her cold fingers touched the bite marks that littered my skin. "Here-first, drink this. It'll help with nerves and pain." I had no qualms about drinking a potion this strange girl was giving me. Nothing could make me feel worse than I already did. I gulped the smooth lavender mixtures down. Immediately a surge of strength broke over me, and my vision was clear again. I could feel my heartbeat slow down slightly, but I was still on high alert.
"H-he was...biting me," I whispered. I let her continue to work at my injuries, dabbing cool ointments that made my skin impervious to the pain radiating through my body. "He cornered me and then started biting my arms, and this part of my neck a little…" I stifled a sob, pointing to the tender place that my shoulder and neck met. "He spent most of the time pushing me back into the corner. He didn't….didn't do that much before you came in," I finished, shaking like a leaf. I also told her about the beginning, about Bellatrix and how she'd forced me in there. The girl took my hand and looked into my eyes.
"You are so brave," she said slowly, her face blurry through my teary eyes. "So brave. I think, judging from these bites...I think he just meant to scare you. To scare you away...what's your name?"
"D-Dorcas," I hiccupped, wanting to be anywhere but in this house. I wanted to be home, with my parents. I was in shock; I felt as though my voice was on autopilot, describing a scene that had happened to someone else. "Why did this happen to me?" I pleaded.
Andromeda was quiet for a moment. "My sister…Bellatrix…I think she's trying to prove herself. Acts of terror…yes, that's what it must have been…" she looked lost for a moment, biting her lip.
"Prove herself? To who?" I couldn't imagine a person who would require anyone to prove themselves in that manner.
"Let's just say," Andromeda chose her words carefully. "That Bellatrix is in with…the wrong crowd. How old are you, Dorcas?" She changed the subject,, waving her wand over my wounds.
I hesitated suspiciously at the change in conversation. A million questions burned at the back of my throat. "I'm twelve. I'm in my second year of Hogwarts."
"Good, good. I'm in my fifth year. I've seen you around before, I've heard of you," she continued gently. I could feel myself calming slightly at her kind words. "You're quite the brave witch. What house are you in?"
I snorted a little bit. Brave? All I had done was try and hit him with a stool. Then I stood there screaming, which did me absolutely no good until Andromeda had happened to hear me, I guess. "Gryffindor," I answered, risking a look at my arm. I couldn't see the skin; she must have finished with that and was repairing my dress. The tattered pieces were soaring back together seamlessly over my arms and shoulders, masking any sign of trouble. Next thing I knew her fingers were in my hair, pulling gently and fixing the mess like an older sister would.
"I see. I'm a Slytherin, but not a bad one, I promise," she winked at me. "I asked to be put in Slytherin."
"Why would you ask to be put in Slytherin?" I blurted, then immediately regretted it. Cheeks flaming, I cried out- "I'm sorry! I didn't mean that!"
"It's quite alright," she smiled at me. "I wanted to be in Slytherin because….well, my whole family was in Slytherin. And they're not the kind that takes kindly to any sort of change. Just look at Sirius," she pointed out, fingers still working deftly to put my hair back into some semblance of an updo. "He was put into Gryffindor and practically disowned. But...you know all about Sirius, don't you? Isn't that who you came with?"
"Yes," I whispered. This time, though, his name didn't put butterflies in my stomach. It put fear in my heart. All I could hear were Bellatrix's words again in my head.
He'll show you what we think of those with filthy blood in the noble house of Black. You will never sully our family name…
After that night, I was changed, as any child would have been. I avoided Sirius doggedly after the incident. He was hurt at first, then angry. James was just confused. He didn't understand.
Exactly month after the incident was when it first happened. Back at Hogwarts, studying at the library late at night under the moon shining through the window was when I first felt it. I ran from the library, screaming as bones shifted and cracked under my skin. By some stroke of luck, I found myself in a bed in the dark hospital wing, crying as hard as I had been when Fenrir bit me. It was a night of excruciating pain - but nothing happened. I could still hear Dumbledore's words.
"...the bite from a werewolf close to transformation will trigger partial transformations in the victim, possibly forever. You will never find yourself a wolf, but the pain you will undergo on the first night of the full moon will be a constant reminder of that night…"
By third year, the relationship between Sirius and I had regressed to teasing remarks in the hallway, insults thrown back and forth. Fourth year we didn't speak at all; by fifth year, things were relatively forgotten. We mostly just ignored each other. I swapped my childhood friendships with the boys for new friendships with the other Gryffindor girls in my year. However, Lily Evans, who I had once immensely disliked, became my closest friend and confidant. She alone - besides Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey - knew my secret.
Chapter 1
Potter Residence
The Night before Sixth Year
I carefully placed my card on top of James's, brow furrowed in concentration. I moved my hand away slowly-
"Ha!" I yelled. "Your turn!"
James grumbled something at me his mother wouldn't approve of.
"What was tha-ah!" I yelled as the tower suddenly exploded before us, throwing smoke and sparks from the center of the table.
"Ha!" This time it was James's turn to gloat. He stood up from our game of Exploding Snap and did some sort of ridiculous happy dance. I rolled my eyes, touching my singed eyebrows. "Five galleons, cough up!"
I rolled my eyes, grumbling as I dug the coins out of my purse. This was a tradition of ours the night before Hogwarts, this game. Starting before first year, when we were both eleven. Many things had changed since then; the world around us had gone dark. But this game, and the innocence of it, remained.
I playfully slapped the coins into James's outstretched hand, breaking out into a smile at the sight of his goofy, wide grin.
"Next year," I promised. "We're tied, now. I'll get the tiebreaker."
"If you say so…" His voice trailed off.
"What?" I looked at him carefully, scrutinizing.
"Did you hear that?" His hazel eyes darted to the side, taking in the tall ceilings, mahogany furniture, and spotless surfaces. Countless pictures of James through the years - some with me - moved from their places on the walls.
"Hear what?" I fingered the spot I knew my wand to be, in the waistband of my jeans. With what was happening in the news lately, you could never be too careful.
There was a crash somewhere off toward the front region of the house. I jumped, startled, and in a flash had strode to James and grabbed his arm, wand fully out.
"Mum? Dad?" He yelled as we walked slowly toward the source of the noise. "They aren't supposed to be back yet…"
"Never been called Mum before, but I'm not going to deny I've been called Dad." A tall, dark-haired boy stepped into view and winked. His eyes looked tired and his clothes were dirty and rumpled, as though he'd spent several nights in them. The difference in this appearance from his normal effortlessly put together look was enough to distract me from his disgusting innuendo.
"Padfoot!" James roared, lunging forward to embrace his best friend. "What are you doing here?" He exclaimed happily. Sirius's eyes flickered to mine over James's shoulder, but I stayed where I stood. The mild fear that had risen at the unexpected noise had been replaced with a vague sense of awkwardness and the feeling that I'd like to be anywhere else but here.
"Didn't you get my owl?" Sirius's attention returned to James. They spoke as though I wasn't standing right behind them. James shook his head. "Well...I guess I must have beaten it."
"Are you alright? Is it-" he stopped himself as Sirius shook his head quickly and urgently.
"Yeah," he said huskily, and for the first time I saw the faint outline of what looked to be a few days' old black eye. I stared at him, eyes wide.
"Hello, Black," I said carefully, my voice sounding unnaturally high pitched to my own ears. I cleared my throat.
"'Lo, Meadowes," he answered back just as carefully. We had a tentative peace.
"Well...I'll let you two talk, then," I burst after a moment's silence, turning on my heel and heading quickly up the stairs.
"Don't mind her," I could hear James telling his best friend. "She just had to cough up five galleons to me." I closed the door to the bedroom where I'd be staying tonight, a funny feeling settling in my stomach as I leaned against the door. The three of us knew it wasn't that; Sirius Black and I hadn't known how to act around each other since before Bellatrix and Fenrir. The two of them had curled up in my head and never left. I still heard, and saw them, in my dreams. Nothing had been the same since.
