She's sleeping. Why is she sleeping? Can't she feel my presence as strongly as I feel hers? Hasn't it woken her, or startled her in the least?
No. It never does.
She's dreaming. I see it in the gentle creases of her flawless face.
Her lips are parted and they move ever so slightly. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of such an independent and hard-headed girl mumbling in her sleep.
In all honesty it was down right adorable.
Her eyebrows draw together and her lips close into a tight, thin line.
She's upset in her dream. Something is upsetting her and marring her beautiful face. Her lips part and she begins talking again.
"Sasori... Turn around... Please..."
She begged of me in her sleep. Turn around? Whatever for?
"Don't leave... Turn around and see me... I'm crying... For you..."
My heart stops. I remembered the day I left remarkably well. I had seen her since that day, buy she hadn't seen me in years.
She didn't understand why, and at the time neither did I. She distracted me and turned my brain off whenever she wanted to with a slow smile or a shift of her body. I was confused at the feeling of helplessness to a small girl. A child of only 14 while I was 18. But when I realized that it was arousal that made me so helpless I panicked. And I quickly packed up and left her for her own safety.
"You're an S-ranked criminal. I assume you can take care of yourself now. If not, you're pitiful. Either way, I'm finished babysitting you.
Contact Leader-sama if you're so dependant on a nanny, but my work here is done."
My own words echoed back in my head and I clamped my hands on my ears.
The words stung me and I could only imagine what I'd done to the poor girl.
For about 2 years we were each other's mostly companions. We stayed at a base by ourselves and traveled everywhere together. I admit that if
I had suddenly lost her I would be frantic. I was her rock to lean on and I yanked myself out from under her and let the helpless girl hit the ground hard.
She was just a kid in a grown-up's club. Akatsuki wasn't for children and she was thrown into the life of a hated and spiteful criminal well before she was ready.
Was anyone really ever ready for that?
She was just a defenseless girl with a power she didn't ask for, forced to grow up faster than she should have.
I let my hand rest feather-light over her cheek. I swore I saw her lips turn up at the closeness. I gently let my hand rest on her face and I looked around the base we used to share sadly. Every time I visited I noticed that not she hasn't touched a single thing in my room. It all remained exactly as I'd left it, tempting me to lay down in my bed and return to her.
It was a sad sight. For years she stayed by herself, training and occasionally sleeping and eating. She looked like a doll in a real person's house when she lay there, curled up in a ball alone. The whole world seemed too big for her and the only thing that had ever brought her up to size was me by her side.
With me there, she had fit perfectly. On the rare times when I allowed her to hold my hand because she was 'scared to get lost in the crowd',
I noticed how she seemed to fit with me like 2 conjoined puzzle pieces. The rest of the world just didn't match up with her.
I placed my lips on her forehead and pulled back slowly. I remembered the time I had done that and nearly had a heart attack.
It was after I left, on one of my first secret visits. I placed a kiss on her that quite literally set my lips on fire. She was burning up and tossing in a fitful sleep.
She was sick. And I was scared to death.
She was in this big place, all alone with no one to care for her. I had actually almost planned on revealing myself to her, but I held back.
I checked back in every night the rest of that week. She was getting sickly thin and pale. When she was practically in a coma-like state of sleep I would gather her broken and jaded body in my arms and cradle her, crying softly into her hair. I didn't know what to do and if something horrible happened to her, I would be to blame.
One night, holding her limp body in my lap, I had had enough of seeing her in pain. I laid her gently back onto her bed and left to get her medicine.
Returning the next night with a medicine I had spent hours making, my jaw dropped. She was sleeping soundly with rosy cheeks and all, curled up with a sad smile on her face.
I chuckled putting the medicine in my old room, knowing that she never went in there.
Without even realizing it that kid always drove me crazy. In more ways than one.
She jerked slightly and I pulled my face away from hers and suddenly felt ridiculous. I intended to come back eventually, why not tonight?
Because I'm still so insanely attracted to her?
Because she still has power over me?
Because I can't control myself around her and I don't want to hurt the fragile girl?
No. None of the above. I'm returning to her tonight. She deserves happiness and all that I can possibly offer her, which, right now, is me.
I rested a hand on her waist and another cupped her cheek...
TBC
