Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with nor do I own any part of Stargate, Stargate SG1 or its' movies, Stargate Atlantis, or any of the characters. My stories are for purely entertainment purposes, with no monetary gain. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is based on the episode "Trinity" and continues from my 'Condemned Missing Scenes'. The lines of dialog you recognize are from the show (thanks to GateWorld Transcripts).
-OO-
"You just used me to murder an innocent man!" In her anger and fear Teyla had miscalculated, she had been foolish to threaten Ronon with her knife; there was no remorse in his eyes only cold. Teyla was no match for him, and obviously Ronon knew it, he batted her hand and knife away as if she were a foolish child.
"He deserved worse."
Teyla recalled Dr. Beckett saying that they would have to use extreme care in awakening Ronon, John had snorted and she had asked why. "Because luv, abused beings react on instinct, survivors of abuse are often broken or violent, sometimes both; they've been so far removed from what is good they are truly wild." She had countered that Ronon knew them and would trust them, Carson had shook his head sadly, "Even those they eventually trust cannot predict their actions; the victims can't even predict their own actions at times, one must always be on guard and treat them with love and respect, don't put them in such a situation that they feel threatened, give them time to heal and adjust." John had said that was why they needed to be so careful with Ronon; he was wild with military training, in a galaxy that always made you feel threatened and would never give you time.
She had listened without truly understanding. Seeing Ronon today she understood; wild was uncontrollable, wild did what it wanted regardless of consequence, wild was not the Ronon she thought she knew. She saw something else; it appeared that the Wraith had not been the only ones to abuse Ronon. "You said he was like a father to you."
"Kell commanded several infantry divisions on Sateda, and when the Wraith came, he ordered thousands to their death just to save himself. He was ..." Teyla saw the struggle on his face as Ronon fought to control himself, there was more he wasn't saying, definitely more: "he was a traitor and a coward. My only regret is that his death was quick."
Teyla didn't know what to do, Carson's words of love and respect floated around with John's 'show no fear' – "I understand. In your place I might have done the same. But believe me when I tell you that the others would not. We must not speak of this when we return to Atlantis. And if you ever use my friendship in such a way again, I will not be so understanding."
-OO-
They had picked up the flax seed and were heading towards the gate in silence. Ronon it appeared had calmed down, looking about as if he was a little boy released outside after the rains. She on the other hand had a lot to think about, if she and Matthis had agreed that Ronon's presence had hindered negotiations, how would the Belkans see her people now that they were aligned with a murderer?
She sighed; she didn't know what to do.
Ronon had been slightly ahead of her, but obviously had heard her sigh, he strode back and bent down to look her in the face, he studied her briefly then shot to his full height in surprise, "You're mad at me!"
His surprise actually enraged her, he was calm now and apparently had never felt threatened by her so why not 'give it to him' as John would say. "Yes Ronon, I am very angry."
Teyla looked in his eyes; there was shock there, not anger, "Why did you ask me to arrange the meeting?"
"I wanted to confront Kell."
"Yet, with your skills, had you just planned on killing him you could have done so without involving me." And there was the Ronon she knew, the one who had shown disdain for the prisoners when he thought they were all convicted murders … the one her heart had accepted as her brother even if she had not been able to explain why to John. Ronon was a good man even if he was wild. His nervous reticence told the whole story: obviously, he had wanted to confront Kell but then feeling threatened his wildness caused him to react and kill, a defensive reaction!
Ronon was shifting from foot to foot nervously, "I wanted you there."
To say she was surprised would be an understatement, "Why?"
"As witness."
Teyla could not rationalize his statement away, not only had he planned to kill Kell but he had selected her to serve witness. Her shock and disdain must have shown clearly on her face, "You put my life at risk on purpose? There were four* other men who heard my name and the name of my people. Four men who think we were together in this murder! How do you think the Belkans will perceive me and my people now, will they continue to trade with us or are we criminals to them?"
"It was a Satedan matter, the Belkans don't care. All Satedans know of Kell, even his own men wouldn't avenge him."
Ronon looked lost for a second and Teyla used that second to shoot holes in his defense, "If that is the case, you did not need me."
Ronon started talking fast: "Kell lies, he distorts the truth from those closest to him, I didn't know if they had been taken in or if they were in league with him. Sateda no longer stands; those of us who live, alone must judge Kell. By the old laws, I judged Kell and was found righteous. You were the impartial witness; no Satedan could serve as such, no Satedan is impartial when it comes to Kell. Don't you understand, I didn't murder Kell, I judged him – if it had been murder they would have been bound to serve me retribution!"
Teyla looked in his eyes, she saw anger there but it was righteous anger and most definitely not aimed at her. She shook her head, she did not know Satedan law, old or otherwise she must trust Ronon; what else was there to do…before she could speak the look in Ronon's eyes changed.
Hurt, he was hurt, "You think of me as a murderer? You said, in the village, you understood … that you might have done the same."
In panic Teyla stepped back, how could she tell Ronon now that she had done exactly what the Atlantians had done to her and her people – categorized them without knowing them. She had allowed the words of another to shape her view of Ronon into a wild, wounded beast instead of a strong man who had survived the unthinkable.
Ronon dropped the seed before seeming to wilt. "You're afraid of me? You just said what you thought would get you away from me? I thought … I thought you were the one who …" Ronon stuttered to a stop, he grabbed all the grain and strode fast toward the gate dropping it by the dialer.
Teyla ran after him, having reached the gate Ronon wouldn't look at her, his arms wrapped tightly about himself, she touched his arm, "Ronon…"
Ronon jerked at her touch, "You dial and go through, I'll send the grain after you."
"Are you not coming?"
He shook his head.
"In the village, I was afraid, I did not understand; but you have explained well." Looking about Teyla continued, "No one has come after us and we have stood in the open."
Ronon shook his head, he would not go with her, he had thought she was his ally the one who understood him while the others only tolerated him.
Teyla went to him and stood right in front of him, forcing Ronon to look at her, "What you must realize Ronon is that you are no longer alone, you cannot act without thinking how that will affect others, what if those men had been in league with Kell? My life would have been forfeit, what if the Belkans had not considered the judgment a Satedan matter? My people would have lost trading partners we desperately need for food."
Teyla grabbed Ronon's face as he tried to look away, "You are part of a team, a team that not only represents the Atlantians but the Athosians and with your inclusion the Satedans; your actions reflect on us all." Seeing the guilt and pain in Ronon's eyes Teyla was loathed to push on but she did, "We have to be able to trust you, your words and your actions."
Teyla saw Ronon close himself off, she realized too late, it had been an honor to be chosen as a witness; as it had been for John when Keras had chosen him to witness the Sacrifice.
She was the one he had come to when he was deciding whether or not to stay on Atlantis, he had believed her in the infirmary when she said Carson was not to blame, she was the one he talked to most, she was the one he asked to go with, she had accepted him without fear in the cave, and he had chosen her as witness because he honored her with his true self … what was left of his people and their ways; only now that trust was broken.
"Which of my speech, have you reason not to trust?"
Ronon's face was unreadable to her, never had it been such since she met him and it hurt, she hadn't realized how valuable his presence on Atlantis had become to her, how much she needed him since her people had chosen to leave her in the city, she started with a cry and rushed him, hugging him tightly. "Ronon, I am sorry… I just wanted you to think first, just as I should have thought before speaking here. I have said too much."
Ronon pried her off of him and then tilted her face up to look him in the eyes, "You have not said enough. Which of my speech do you question?"
Teyla blinked, she couldn't think of a thing.
Apparently, her face was still readable as Ronon rephrased his question, "What have the Atlantians questioned?"
Teyla thought, "Well, Dr. McKay questioned how you knew you had been a Runner for 7 years, but I don't think he was questioning your word so much as curious to how you knew, he said something about different rotations and it was just after he had expressed his amazement that you had known about the radiation without having one of his devices."
Ronon nodded, "Sometime after I was set to running, I came upon a Wraith dumping ground, I found a Satedan timepiece that still functioned, it stopped after I'd been running 7 years."
"So, you were running longer than 7 years."
Ronon nodded, "Closer to 8 years, Solen can confirm."
At the mention of Solen, Teyla did think of something; again Ronon must have seen it in her face, "Ask, do not fear me."
"You told Solen you had thought you were the only survivor for years, but we have only known you for a few months; I thought you just found out about the destruction of Sateda?"
Ronon rolled his eyes, "Speech." When she did not show understanding, he continued. "It is rude to talk in Satedan if all cannot understand. I know enough of the trade language to function off-world and to be polite; but my speech has always been for military purposes or in Satedan. I spoke wrong."
Her shock must have shown because Ronon just shrugged, Teyla had never dreamed he spoke differently than the Athosians and the Earthers, the words he spoke had been so sure. "You speak so well."
"I'm a Specialist."
That cleared up nothing to Teyla, but as he had made reference to his military she assumed John would have understood, which made her think of another question.
"You said you had been to two doctors but when we were alone you said you had only visited one village and then you had heard it had been destroyed. How did you hear it was destroyed and where did you meet the doctors."
Ronon smiled at her, "I was not in a village when I met your doctor."
Teyla missed the smile and the innuendo as the four Satedans had just arrived at the dialer with the dead Kell being drug on a litter behind them. "Specialist Dex." they greeted.
Ronon nodded to them and asked, "Did you finish your business?"
"We did, it went well." They dialed Belsa and with a motion that appeared half salute and half wave they departed.
Teyla looked at Ronon unable to hide the incredulous on her face; he ignored it and answered her question. "They were not doctors, speech…I learn more every..." he shrugged, "The first was at a Rukshaw, I barely escaped with my life."
A Rukshaw, Teyla looked at him in amazement. Rukshaws moved, their timing and whereabouts unknown except to criminals and only the worst of them, Wraith worshippers, and rumor had it even the Bola Kai. No one Teyla knew even knew what was traded except it had to be illegal and some believed slavery was the only market. "You must have been desperate."
Ronon gave her a 'Duh, tracking device in my back' look before he continued, "I had collected several stunners off some of the Wraith I killed and thought I could trade them." Ronon looked down and scuffed his boot in the dirt, "It did not go well."
Teyla waited quietly and Ronon continued, "I learned of Wraith Worshippers there." He looked up to see if she believed him the tears swimming in her eyes must have allayed his doubt as he continued, "She said she had helped her world's healer many times before she had been brought to the market as a slave, that she thought she could remove it in exchange I would help her escape. I traded the stunners for everything she asked and then when I had her almost to the gate she tripped me and smashed my head with the supplies I had bought her – several men dragged me away and she told them to hold me until the Wraith would arrive. As she carved into my back she laughed and said, even the worst would not trade with Wraith Worshippers, only the stupid; the pain she was inflicting would be a reminder that I would never be free until I had fallen in a hunt. The pain actually cleared my head and her mistake was she never realized who I was, I left them to be found by those they worshipped."
He paused his face cold as he looked off in the distance, "I ran through the ring many times and thought I would have a few cycles of respite, the knife she had used was not clean, I had not eaten or drank in … days, the village was close to the ring and they didn't shun me. I spent the night in the leader's tent, his daughter tried to nurse me; but in the morning I had to go."
"Later, I was at another body dump looking for goods when a group of Wanderers came through, they had the leader's daughter's head … hair," Ronon waved his hand around looking for the right word, "thing … I questioned them in a convincing manner and they admitted they had scavenged the village after it had been hit. As I had recognized the thing in the first place they believed I was her completed, I never got a chance to explain as Wraith hunters showed up, I dispatched them and headed through the ring, the Wanderers followed. They wanted to appease me I guess, who knows … they asked how they could help me and I said get the tracker out of my back, none of them where sure what to do, but they sure tried. An old woman stopped them and put medicine on my back, bandaged it, and gave me a water skin before telling me to git."
"Except, the occasional Wanderer, never saw any people unless I went to the Rukshaw until you and Sheppard."
"You went back to the Rukshaw?"
"Needed stuff." Ronon spun his blaster as proof. "Figured the Wraith Worshippers that could have recognized me were probably dead and if the Wraith wiped out the Rukshaw they were only killing people who deserved it, felt a little guilty about the slaves, but figured they'd rather be dead than slaves." Ronon shrugged, "Did a mean business in anything with Wraith bones, swords, knives, even the necklaces … only slavers wanted stunners so I stopped trading them."
"Where did you get the bones?"
"You know that planet you found me on?" Teyla nodded, so Ronon continued, "The first time I ran there Wraith drones followed me on foot, the darts that had come through couldn't seem to find me near the caves, I killed the drones and ran back through the gate, few days and gates latter I had lost the darts and came back figured I could hide out for a while, not long." At her inquisitive eyebrow, Ronon explained, "There were no animals – no animals means no food or safe water. Anyway by the time I got back the drones hand bones were visible, I stripped them for goods and in a little while Wraith bones."
"After that when I killed a Wraith and had time; I'd strip what I could trade, then chop'em apart … leave the pieces that didn't sell and throw the pieces I wanted through the ring, pick'em up when I needed them. I did keep a few hands and heads intact to take to the Rukshaw the next couple of times, as one guy tried to say I wasn't selling real Wraith bones, that they were all asleep, I called him a… " Ronon looked around, "I don't know your speech for what I called him. Next time I went I left the decaying heads at his stall … needed the hand bones so I took them back. Never had a problem at the Rukshaw, except that first time."
Teyla imagined not, a man of Ronon's size, looking as he did when he had found them, carrying decaying Wraith heads, she shuttered.
"Any more questions?"
"Did you get your gun at the Rukshaw?"
Ronon shook his head sadly, "Body dump."
They stood silently for a second to honor the dead.
Ronon grinned at her, "Found out the difference between the stun and regular setting at the Rukshaw though."
Teyla smiled at him, "Come home with me Ronon." He looked conflicted, "Please."
He nodded then confided in her, "Dr. Weir says if I stay I'll have to visit the Heightmeyer."
Teyla patted him on the arm and stifled a grin "You'll survive." then she dialed and grabbed the smaller bag of grain and headed for the gate.
Ronon picked up the large bags and with his stride was beside her when they stepped through the ring.
-OO-
*Note: There were three armed men already in the room before Kell entered with a fourth: one by Ronon, one across from Teyla in front of the post, and one behind the post (face visible briefly just as Kell announces himself).
