Author: elfluvr
Summary: As hard as it had been for her to read those words aloud, she couldn't imagine what Bobby must have been thinking when he heard them. Yes, a filler scene for THAT episode.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Dick Wolf, René Balcer and the actors who bring them to life. No harm intended, no money made.
Archive: Fanfiction - anywhere else, just ask
Feedback: Please! It's always welcome
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"We mitigated the damage," ADA Ron Carver insisted.
Alex Eames shook her head – she wasn't so sure. Besides, the impact this may have on Judge Garrett's case wasn't the only 'damage' she was worried about. As hard as it had been for her to read those words aloud, she couldn't imagine what Bobby must have been thinking when he heard them.
The object of her concern, Detective Robert Goren, was approaching and Carver briefly touched her elbow in encouragement. "You did fine," he smiled at her before walking away, leaving her alone with her partner. Bobby stood in front of her, hands shoved into his pants pockets and an expectant look on his face.
"I'm sorry Bobby," Alex craned her neck to look up at him, nervously scratching her throat. "I should have told you."
With a slight shake of his head Bobby dismissed her apology. Toying with the button on his suit jacket, he gave her an embarrassed smile. "I am an acquired taste." He took a step away from her then hesitated. "I'm lucky you withdrew your letter," he said quietly before continuing on his path.
Alex watched Bobby walk to where Mike Logan and Carolyn Barek were standing next to a column about thirty feet away. How could he seem so relaxed about the whole thing when her stomach was still churning? Her heart clenched as she remembered her words, '… lead me to have serious doubts about his judgment and mental stability.' Bobby, you can't possibly be unaffected by that.
There was a camaraderie among the three detectives and Alex was surprised by a sudden sense of exclusion. Logan and Barek seemed to have developed a level of comfort with their new partnership and, as unlikely as it seemed, Bobby and Mike had become friends of a sort. Alex felt like the awkward kid in high school standing on the outskirts of the popular inner circle. Her emotions were swirling and, by walking away, Bobby had just added abandonment to the mix.
"Alex," Carolyn's voice broke through her fog of uncertainty. "We're going for dinner and drinks."
"Yeah … well …only if you pick the spot," Bobby gestured to Carolyn. "Last time we let Logan pick, the place was too dark … the food was mediocre and I swear I saw a … a rat run under the kitchen door."
"WHAT?" Alex and Carolyn were both horrified.
"Maybe," Logan said before sliding into one of his cocky smiles. "But wasn't that the best ouzo you ever had?"
Alex remained where she was, considering the invitation. She felt exhausted, as if her body had used all its strength to get her through her testimony and the dreaded encounter with Bobby afterward. She was drained and just wanted to go home. "You guys go ahead. It's been a long day … I'm going to head home."
Bobby frowned. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I am. Have fun … I'll see you in the morning," Alex turned to walk out of the courthouse, but before she took three steps, she heard Bobby quickly coming up behind her.
"Eames," he caught her elbow to stop her.
She didn't want to look at him – didn't want him to see the sheen in her eyes. But she should have known she couldn't hide from him. Bobby leaned down to catch her eye, saw what he was looking for, then straightened and turned back to Logan and Barek.
"You two go on," he said to them. Alex started to protest, but Bobby tightened his grip on her elbow to silence her.
"You sure? Barek picked Tortelli's – best lasagna south of Times Square …" Logan looked hopeful.
"Next time."
Logan shook his head in resignation. "Alright, but next time it's my pick again." The men gave each other a wave good-bye while Carolyn argued with Logan that maybe 'other people' would like to make a choice next time.
Alex noticed that Bobby was still holding her elbow, his thumb circling a small caress that made her shiver. "You should go … have a good time," she quietly encouraged him.
"I … I'd rather go and have a drink with you," he looked down at her and Alex finally looked back. She saw a flash of something in his eyes before he blinked and it was replaced with his usual friendly regard. "Besides, Logan only wants me along so he can stick me with the tab for dinner." He smiled at her, but his dark eyes bored into hers … waiting for her answer.
When she still hesitated, he finally tugged lightly on her arm. "C'mon. I know a nice little place … not far from here."
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As usual, he was right. It was a nice place. Small enough to be called cozy, with an elderly gentleman playing the piano off in the corner – just enough music for setting a mood without overpowering any attempt at conversation.
They settled into a small booth and waited for someone to take their order. Alex nervously looked around. Normally she was comfortable spending time with him, but tonight she felt on edge and her usual confidence was wavering.
"So," Bobby broke the silence. "Care to tell me what's wrong?"
Alex's jaw dropped before she had the presence of mind to quickly close it again. "How can you ask that?"
In what she recognized as a stall tactic, Bobby scratched through his hair to the back of his neck then sighed and clasped his hands on the table in front of him. "Eames … it was five years ago."
She didn't care if it was ten years ago. Alex still felt like a traitor.
The Biblical story of Samson and Delilah came to mind. Samson's hair endowed him with supernatural strength, but Delilah betrayed him by having his head shaved. She then handed him over to the Philistines where he was exhibited as a public spectacle. When his hair grew back, Samson pulled down the pillars of the house, burying 3,000 Philistines and himself in the ruins.
Alex thought the 'public spectacle' part of the story had already been fulfilled. All that remained was for Bobby to self-destruct and take their partnership with him.
He must have seen that she wasn't buying any of it and a look of determination locked behind his eyes. "Alright," he nodded. "What if I told you that I wrote my own letter?"
Alex frowned. What was he getting at?
"What if I said that I'd had my own doubts about this partnership?" Bobby gestured back and forth between them with his index finger, all the while posing questions and ideas she hadn't considered. "I'd never been partnered with a woman before … didn't know what to expect. So … I asked around about you," he pointed at her.
That surprised her. No one had ever said a word to her about him asking questions. So much for the loyalty of friends and co-workers.
"Everyone said pretty much the same thing … a well-respected officer who worked twice as hard as anyone else to make detective early." Alex couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard a note of pride in his voice. "They told me that you were the daughter of a cop from a family of cops. Your father's pride … with so much to prove," his voice softened. "And you were determined to do it all by the book."
His dark brown eyes studied her intently while she thought about his words.
"Well … you can see the problem," he gave her a wry smile.
Alex nodded mutely, trying to comprehend what he was saying. Bobby had doubts? About her?
"In the beginning …" he leaned closer to her across the table, "the first several months, when we were trying to … find our footing with each other, to … to learn each other's rhythms … I honestly wasn't sure we would make it."
Her breath caught at the revelation that he ever thought they wouldn't make it. She'd never even considered that he questioned the partnership. Alex realized she was biting her bottom lip – hard. She released her lip then licked it to sooth the bite. Bobby's eyes were drawn to her mouth by the motion and he seemed to falter. He took a short breath, hesitated, then looked back up at her eyes before continuing.
"I saw the doubt in your eyes … your uncertainty about working with me. I still see it sometimes," he quickly held up his hand to stop her protest. "That's okay … because neither of us is here to blindly follow the other."
Bobby relaxed against the back of the booth. "So here we are … five years later. With all we've been through … all we've experienced together. Everything we've … accomplished in this partnership. Would you really be upset now to find out about a letter I wrote five years ago?"
Alex leaned back herself, her eyes narrowed as she thought back over everything he'd said – trying to fit it into the context of what she knew of their relationship … their partnership. Something about the whole thing just seemed …
"Hell yes!"
Bobby's eyes widened, shocked at the vehemence of her exclamation. But before he had the opportunity to respond, the gleam in her eye must have given her away and he started to smile.
"You never wrote any damn letter," Alex gave in to the grin she could no longer hide. "I can't believe you tried to feed me that bull."
He started to chuckle. "Busted, huh?"
"My father's pride?" Alex laughed.
His perfectly beautiful smile lit up his face all the way to his warm dark eyes. "Too much?"
"Yeah!" Her laughter died down. They sat there grinning at each other and Alex knew everything would be alright. They had each other, and if this attempt at breaking them couldn't do it, nothing ever would.
"Did I make my point?" Bobby asked quietly.
Alex wished his hands were still on the table. She would have liked to grasp them with hers, hoping the gesture would convey her gratitude for his friendship and give him reassurance that she was okay. Instead, she settled for a simply-stated, "Yes."
Bobby nodded in satisfaction and just like that the subject was closed. He looked around, then made a decision. "It looks like if we want our drinks, I'll have to go to the bar. What do you want?" he asked as he slid out from the booth.
"Gin and tonic …" she started, "… lemon instead of lime," he mimicked. Too bad she was too old to stick out her tongue. But there were other ways …
"And a menu," she called after him. "I feel like sticking you with the tab for dinner."
End.
