A/n: Quick one-shot, nothing is owned by me. I wish.


Three years it's been. Since what? Since I felt... anything really. I have been cutting since the age of 13, you slowly grow immune to the pain and begin to feel the pleasure. I rarely eat as well, don't ask me why, I just don't like food. Is that okay? I want to be perfect like the rest of my family, whom aren't burdened by the wonderful shadow of Harry James Potter. He saved the whole god damn world, and what have I done? Nothing except slowly kill my self. I made a promise to my "practically perfect" cousin, Victoire when I was 14 that I would live long enough for me to see her get married. I think she loves me far more than I love her. I am so jealous by her perfect skin, perfect body, perfect hair, perfect everything. Even her name is perfectly pretty, it's French and not common. What did I get stuck with? My dead grandmother's name and my dad's friend's name, not that I don't like my grandmother (well I can't judge her, since I never met her, but you get the point.) or Auntie Luna. But it would have been nice to have my own god damn name yeah? Something that people will remember me by, some— a lot ask if I was named after Lily Evans [Potter]. Of course I was, is it not obvious? I am Lily freakin' Potter. I love my family and all, but I hate them at the same time.

At Hogwarts everyone thought that I was going to be something great like my father. I'm not though. Vic and Teddy always say that I am the best artist that they have ever met, but that won't help me with my NEWTs next year will it? I am not that great at potions, I can't transfigure a thing, and the only reason I am any use at Defence Against the Dark Arts is because my father was an auror and wouldn't leave me alone till I got a decent grade. My mother didn't like the fact that I could fly and I never ever thought about Quidditch. Albus and James are both on their houses

' teams, and what am I? Up in my room drawing things on little bits of parchment. I also haven't got a clue why I am in Slytherin, cunning and ambitious aren't things that people normally use to describe Lily Luna Potter. But I am also not all that nice, I like to keep to my self yeah, but I will stick up for others. If I like them that is. Perhaps it's because I fight and make enemies better than I do friends. Do I have friends? Yeah, but neither of them know of my anorexia or cutting habits. I like to keep it that way.

Here goes another paragraph of things people don't really care about; I have had boyfriends, a few have used me to get to my father, a few has just abused me, and some just wanted sex. I have been with a girl twice, and sincerely I like them a tad bit more. The one I was with was one of the sweetest girls ever, and she was just perfect. We broke up because... Honestly I don't know. No, I am not a lesbian, I am bisexual. I like girls, and guys, but sometimes girls understand a bit more than guys will ever. I am not a virgin, and that is another thing about me that I am not all that proud of.

Love? I think everyone in the entire world doesn't know that I am in love with Teddy Lupin, will I ever have him? Nope, he loves Victoire and she loves him. I am glad that he didn't end up with some hoe bag, but with Vic. I do wish it was me... but she is better than one of those. He kissed me on the cheek when I started Hogwarts a few years back, but then I thought that boys had cooties and were dirty. I regret that now, but what the hell? Teddy and Victoire are getting married in a few months, perhaps I will be allowed to kill myself soon too.