Chapter 1
Lux closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down, but it wasn't helping much. She'd decided, after experimenting a few worrying sensations, to visit Soraka. But, the thing was, she was sure she knew what the problem was, she just didn't want to face her fears.
She pressed a hand against her stomach, which hurt a little, and cursed under her breath. She let her head roll against the wall and opened her eyes again. She was sitting on a bench on the Institute's Medical Unit, where Soraka worked as a part time nurse/helper. Lux could see her from a distance, walking to and fro, checking on patients, a kind smile spread on her face.
A sense of dread filled the blonde girl once more as she saw the Starchild hurry towards her. Lux got up, swallowed hard and forced a smile onto her face, but it didn't touch her eyes.
"What is wrong, child?" The horned healer went to touch her shoulder gently, but as soon as her eyes gazed at the blonde woman, she moved suddenly away.
'Oh, gods, she knows!' Lux screamed internally, and she couldn't help the panicked look from appearing on her face.
"Calm down, light mage." Soraka said soothingly. "And state what is wrong."
"Can we…" The blonde girl looked away, blushing. "Can we go talk somewhere private, please?"
"Of course." The healer turned on her hooves and started walking towards an empty office, by the side. "Right this way."
When they reached it, Soraka led Lux in first and then closed the door behind herself. She indicated the other to take a seat and she herself got comfortable, bracing herself for the probably horrible situation that was about to encounter.
"You may speak now, child." She insisted after a long silence. "Unfortunately I don't have time to spare."
"I know, I'm sorry. I… just…" Lux closed her eyes and breathed in before opening her eyes and gazing directly into the other's, determination now spread on her face. "I have been feeling a few… weird symptoms these days, and I want to know if you could help me out."
"What kind of symptoms?" Soraka asked, but she already knew what she was going to say. There was a reason the light mage had gone to see her.
"Queasiness, stomach aches, uhm, I have a question to ask."
"Go ahead."
"You can tell, right?"
There was a moment of silence before the horned woman spoke.
"Yes. You are with child, light mage."
Lux eyes opened wide and her mouth formed a cute little "O" form, her voice unable to come out. She felt tears rush and started blinking, trying to make them go away. Soraka walked over to her, a worried expression on her face and patted her back to comfort her.
"I don't know what I'm going to do! I'm so young, I-!" The blonde started sobbing uncontrollably while the other tried to make her feel better.
"Do you know who the father is?"
"Ye-yes." She chocked, trying to wipe the tears away.
Soraka pulled Lux up from the chair and hugged her – something she rarely did, as was not permitted while on her medical duties.
"Be strong, light mage. Be brave." She whispered into the girl's ear.
"But…!" The sobbing was making it hard for her to speak.
"Being with child is a magical experience. It is not the end of your life, like you are thinking. It is in fact, the beginning of a new one."
"You're right, I… just don't know how my parent's will take it."
Lux, now lying on her bed, covered her face with her hands. Soraka was partially right, it wasn't the end of her life, and the idea of something being created inside of her did seem wonderful, but there were many things to consider, and not all good.
She cursed herself, she cursed him, and especially, she cursed that particular night. Well, it hadn't been just one, so she cursed them all.
She could still feel his warm body pressing against hers, his breath on her neck, the feeling of his hands on her waist, caressing, his rough lips on her back, kissing her sweetly until she screamed out his name.
She had to tell him. But she wasn't sure how he would react, which made her scared.
Absentmindedly, she pressed a hand to her stomach again, but quickly removed it, blushing while doing so. She walked to her bathroom, cleaned herself up a bit, making sure she was presentable, and tried to smile. The girl with blue eyes looking at her in the reflection didn't seem as happy as she wished to be.
She sighed and left her apartment, walking out of the building being careful of not being spotted as she headed towards his room. She was glad she got there without being noticed and knocked on his door.
It was nearly a minute later when it swung open and a shirtless Darius looked her up and down before hurrying her inside. Before she could react, the door was closed behind her and she was pressed against it, and there was no more distance between her and the man.
His lips crashed against hers and she couldn't fight back. She wanted him, she needed him. His hands cupped her face and she smiled against his lips, before responding to the kiss.
It had been over a week since they'd last seen each other, and they both needed this. She saw it in his lust filled eyes, the way he looked at her, the way he grunted her name when she pressed her hips against his, noticing his excitement in the process. She bit her lower lip when his hand caressed her right breast and a half-silenced moan escaped her mouth, something Darius was extremely happy about.
He then hoisted her up with one arm, to pick her up successfully and carry her to the bed. His lips pressed kisses against her tender neck on their way there, sometimes biting at the skin, earning either a giggle or a gasp.
He lay her on the bed and clambered on top of her, watching as her lovely blue eyes spoke for themselves.
"I've been wanting to see you around more." He then whispered huskily against her ear. Something about that action made Lux feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Their fingers interlocked as they looked into each other's eyes and, all of a sudden, all of her worries were gone.
She'd never thought of Darius as a kind, gentle man. She saw him as a brute, a heartless warrior fighting for the horrible place that was Noxus. He terrified her, with those dark, menacing eyes of his and how serious he always looked. But, there was something about him… something that made her not want to stop gazing at him.
At first it was just that. She saw him as a bad man, but, he was attractive. And Lux soon found herself daydreaming of taking his clothes off, just to have a quick look at his powerful build. And maybe experiment first-hand how strong he actually was.
One day, he caught her staring. He thought it was just a coincidence. But it started happening regularly. When in the Rift, even if they were on separate teams, Lux seemed to always be looking at him. And then she'd make the silliest mistakes.
He was lucky he caught them that day. Darius had been walking around the Institute, trying to stop his mind from wondering. Catching Lux always staring at him was getting to him. He wasn't sure what it meant, but he couldn't stop thinking about her. He'd had a nice walk out in the garden when he decided to get back to his apartment. Darius made sure to go really slowly and carefully past his brother's flat, as he was in no mood to have to deal with him when he heard it.
He heard her voice. Coming from his brother's apartment. And he heard him laughing, and she was screaming. His breath caught in his chest and his heart started beating faster. Draven did have a knack for doing stuff like this. Darius pressed his ear against the door, just to make sure he wasn't imagining things. It was muffled but he could tell she was trying to speak and he was snickering. Furiously, the General knocked the door down and barged into the room.
The first thing he saw was Draven's back, but he got up from the uncomfortable position he was in and revealed a very scared looking Lux, tears spilling down her cheeks and something wedged in her mouth.
"What is going on?" Darius walked slowly towards the girl, his gaze turning towards the two of them respectively.
"Bro!" Draven's laughter sounded nervous. "Let me explain."
"I have told you a million times to stop forcing women to have sex with you." Darius started scolding him, but was interrupted by his brother.
"But she's totally into it, it's consensual, I swear! It's role-play."
"Then why is she crying?" The older one's tone sounded much harder than usual. He was having a hard time controlling his anger. "Just cut the bullshit already!"
"But…!" Draven whined like a little child, watching as his brother picked Lux up in his strong arms. "Draven always gets what he wants."
"I'll speak to you later." He grunted, walking towards the door and leaving, still carrying the light mage.
He knew he shouldn't do it, but he opened his own door and entered. He closed it and then walked them over to his room, where he let her down gently. He removed the gag from her mouth and stared into her eyes, unable to speak. What was he going to do next?
"I'm sorry for Draven's behaviour. And I know an awkward apology from the guy's brother isn't what you want or need, but it's something."
He stood there, not sure if even by standing there he was making it worse.
She hadn't stopped crying, if anything, it had actually gotten worse, but she was staring deep into his eyes.
"Thank… thank you. For saving me. I… I'm…"
"I'm glad I heard you scream and was able to do that." Darius relaxed a bit, but the situation still seemed forced. "Do you… do you want some water or something?"
She shook her head and tried her best to mop her eyes with her hands, but the crying wasn't stopping.
"This… this may sound weird" she half-sobbed, looking at her lap this time, not at him. "But could you hug me?"
The question did take him aback, but he sat awkwardly next to her and slowly placed his arms around her, making sure he was being gentle enough as to not hurt her.
"I was wrong about you." She started speaking, still looking at her lap. "You're not a bad person. You're actually kind and gentle, and I really misjudged you. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
She placed her head against his chest and Darius noticed his heart started beating really fast.
"The thing is" She went on, her voice a little bit quieter now. "That even when I thought you were bad, I still… couldn't stop thinking about you."
Darius didn't say anything. He wasn't sure if he was able to, anyway. He just held on to her tighter.
Lux raised her head and lightly touched her lips to his.
"Time to take you home." He said, gently moving her away. He got up, so as to not see her face of rejection. But he could feel his own heart bleeding slightly at his choice of actions.
"Darius…"
"Look, Lux." He finally mustered enough courage to turn around but her watery eyes made his chest hurt. This time it was different because he knew it was his fault. Their love just couldn't be.
"Yeah, I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have done anything! I'm so stupid! How could I actually think you could be interested in me?" She got up and quickly darted towards the door but he grabbed her and forced her to sit down on his bed and to look at her.
"No, Lux, calm down." He sighed and he found himself saying the next words "I actually have feelings for you."
He couldn't believe what he'd done. He cursed himself for saying something he wasn't sure was right and especially doing so after the incident with Draven. Lux had feelings and hers had been toyed with too much for one day.
And then it dawned on him. When had he started caring for the feelings of well… the enemy? Maybe it had been all those times he'd caught her looking at him. It had started making him feel special. Nothing anyone had ever made him feel. Especially not an attractive woman. And then, the fact that she missed all her shots when they were fighting together and against each other but when he saw her play when he wasn't around she was flawless on the battleground. Eliminating rivals without even blinking.
He found it cute.
He found her cute.
He started to want to kiss her. Feel her. Fuck her ruthlessly.
And that's when he saw her eyes sparkle and he thought she was going to cry again but she didn't. She threw herself against him and he caught her in his arms and this time, it was him that started the kiss.
They embraced a few more times and then he took her to her place. They didn't say anything because there was nothing to say. He waved once as he left her and she smiled all day long until she went to sleep, the Draven incident long forgotten.
For the next few days, every time they saw each other in the Institute, she'd blush and he just walked away faster. But she couldn't stay away from him any longer, and one night, she showed up on his door.
He let her into his apartment and into his bed.
He couldn't explain what it was about her. He thought it didn't need any explanations. But the more they saw each other, the more he saw her smile, the stronger his feelings were.
And that's how their unspoken sentimental and romantic relationship started.
"So I'm going to be a father, huh?" Darius whispered, cradling Lux in his strong arms. He sighed, closing his eyes. She could see how exhausted he was just by looking at him. "Weird."
"Weird?" She inquired. "Why?"
"Well, it's not like I haven't had to play the part, you know. To Draven, I mean. But, having a kid of my own, that's new."
"I'm sure you'll be a great dad." She whispered, closing her eyes and nuzzling her head against his chest, ready for sleep.
"But I can't." He then said, making her open her eyes again and she quickly tore apart from him.
"What?"
"Lux, I thought it was obvious." His tone was an exhausted whine, before he gritted his teeth and continued speaking. "You're Demacian and I'm Noxian, I don't think I need to spell it out to you."
"But… I don't want the child to grow up without a father…" She whispered.
He trailed kisses all over her neck, to calm her down, before speaking himself.
"Lux, listen to me. The fact that I don't publicly announce that I'm the father doesn't mean he can't grow up with one."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll be there for you, for the baby, don't you worry. Just… maybe, have you thought of a… substitute dad?"
"Do you mean I should trick someone in to believing he's the father?"
"No. The genetics would probably give it away anyway. Ok, Lux, I'll get to my point. Ezreal has a crush on you. He might be a good parent. I don't know. But I can bet whatever you want that he'll be there for you. And, unlike me, it's socially acceptable for him to be."
The blonde mage thought about it for a few seconds while he was busy pressing his lips against hers and rubbing her tummy gently. There was some truth in what he said.
"Or, hear me out." She mumbled when he'd stopped kissing her mouth. "We elope and lead a happy life with our child."
"Yeah, and where would we go? Let's also not forget that half of Runeterra would be looking for two famous League Champions? Plus, it'll look like I kidnapped you or something."
"Kidnap me Darius, please!" She begged. "I want to have this baby with you."
"I swear I will be there for you. Just consider the options. Do you want to leave here? You have a place to live, a job, food, income, fame, me. Where would you go? How would you explain the baby?"
"But…" Tears were forming in Lux's eyes. She didn't want to admit that what he said was very right. "Yeah, Ok, I'll stay."
"Would you rather be a single mother, Lux? I'm serious, by the way. If you don't want Jayce or Ezreal to support you."
"No. I… I want the baby to have a dad. It's not just me, I think I could handle alone, but…"
"I know. I wish it could be me. But I think it's too big a risk to take."
They were silent for a while, before he pressed his forehead against hers and smiled at her.
"I'll always be there for you, Lux." He placed a hand on her belly again and she felt chills rush down her spine. But the good kind. "And for our baby, too."
Lux had thought about it. A lot. She didn't want any loopholes in her plan, and thank god, she thought hers had none. She'd chosen Ezreal after Darius' words, and every minute she spent with the blond explorer convinced her that she'd made the right decision.
She started looking sad (on purpose of course, but some of the pain she felt was real) around him and started acting strange. She started to not be with people, and, following her plan, he quickly tried to ask what was wrong.
"I… I can't tell you here." She gestured around her, as she bit her lip and looked at the floor. They were in the middle of a hall in the Institute, as he'd been spectating one of her matches of the day, wanting to catch her off guard to ask her about her strange behaviour recently.
"Why?"
"It's something really big… and really bad…" She let out, then quickly pressed her hands against her mouth and looked in horror, as if she'd let out to much for her own good.
Ezreal's face changed. He frowned and grabbed her hand, then started nearly running down the corridor towards his apartment.
"Please don't run!" She panted, clutching her stomach. He looked at her, the serious expression still on his face, but slowed down eventually. He opened the door to his apartment and nearly shoved her in.
"You must tell me everything, Lux. Immediately."
"I…" Lux started sobbing then, her heart beating heavily in her chest. "You… have to promise me something."
"Ok." He swallowed. His chest felt particularly tight at that moment. He couldn't wait to know what was going on to the gorgeous blonde in front of him. His gaze trailed her features, stopping only at her half closed eyes. He lifted a hand to clear the tears that were streaming at her cheeks.
"You can't tell anyone. And, please… if I tell you… I haven't told anyone. I… if I tell you and you run away… I would never forgive you."
"I would never do that." Ezreal looked nearly shocked at the accusation. But, on the inside, he was getting more and more nervous as he still didn't know what was wrong. What if it was something really awful and he couldn't do anything?
"Remember, remember, a few weeks ago, when I had to leave for Demacia?" She asked, her gaze finally meeting his. He nodded, and she was secretly glad that the trip had happened. It had actually been to meet some royal sod, some long distance family member, but now she was going to use it to her advantage. She remembered the night before her travel, and the glorious sex she'd had with Darius. It had probably been then when… it'd happened.
She sighed, to collect herself.
"Well, it was a family thing, but, something happened…"
"Lux, what is it? Please tell me, you're frightening me!"
"I… I was raped, Ezreal!" She finally said, surprised at herself and her own ability to lie. She repeated an action she'd done not even five minutes ago, when she'd blurted out a very well practised speech, and pressed her hands against her mouth, as if to try and amend what was now irreversible. Internally, she was congratulating herself on how well it was coming out. She never knew she could do this.
His mouth dropped open and he took a step back from her. She took the opportunity to start crying again, as if she'd just been rejected by him and slightly turned away. He noticed and quickly embraced her in a warm hug.
Lux found herself liking it and cuddling up against him. She hadn't felt so warm since… since Darius.
"Lux, it's ok, I'm here, I'm not leaving. I'm so, so sorry that had to happen to you. Do you know who this man is?"
"Wait, Ez, there's more." She whispered into his chest. She couldn't help but notice how small he was in comparison to the Noxian General. But… she kinda liked it. It was as if he was the perfect size for her.
He squeezed her gently, almost, lovingly, and the light mage's heart skipped a beat.
"He… I… I'm pregnant, Ezreal."
And with that, she dropped the act and felt again, the same mixture of emotions she'd been feeling those few weeks. She started crying, and held on to him as if he was the only thing she had left. And, maybe he was. Darius couldn't be there, not like him, not physically supporting her, not like she needed.
The explorer didn't know what to say. All he could do was hold on to her tighter. He wanted to fix her, to mend her heart and all that hurt, even if he knew it was impossible.
