It's Not Over,
Written by WickedSong.
Disclaimer : I do not own Glee, it belongs to FOX.
She's one of the first things he thinks about.
When Finn and Rachel ask him to come back to Lima, that is.
Sam wants to go back, he really does. He wants to be in glee, he wants to achieve a win at Sectionals and he wants to see his friends, almost his second family in a way, but the one person he really wants – no needs – to see is her.
Mercedes.
He has to see her, hear her talk, listen to her laugh. It's corny as hell but it's the truth and he has missed her a whole lot more than he's let on.
He packs haphazardly, says a goodbye to his parents and siblings which just about breaks his heart and gets in the car with the two, bidding a farewell to a short stay in Kentucky but saying hello again to Ohio.
"We think we should fill you in on what's being going-"
Sam's already a step ahead of Rachel. "Santana, Brittany and Mercedes are in another glee club, Mercedes has a new boyfriend, and I'm 'so June'" He actually uses air quotes. His voice is loud, clear and confident, and is a far cry from how he really feels inside regarding parts of this.
Finn, who had been slightly turned in the driver's seat in order to help fill him in turns the full way round, eyes focused on the road in an obvious attempt not to have any sort of interaction with Sam but Rachel is looking at him, silently gaping.
"But...but...how-"
Again he's a step ahead of the dark-haired girl. "We do have a computer. Not a good one but I can at least see Jacob's blog and videos. It's not like that stuff is exclusive to McKinley." He shrugs.
Rachel gives him a searching look to him, then to her boyfriend who refuses to take his eyes off the road, and then back to Sam in disbelief. "You can't be okay with this."
"I'm glad that they left New Directions. If that's what they really wanted, their chance to shine, then who are any of us to stand in their way. They all deserve their chance to shine," he comments and this is the truth. He doesn't hear the waver in his voice until his next words because they're not as confident as he would like, and not true. "And who am I to say who she can and can't date. I left. She was bound to find someone else." His smile is sad and he almost doesn't realise this before he can change it into one of forced happiness.
Rachel looks mildly concerned but also relief washes over her face at the fact that she didn't have to be the one to tell him these things. She turns around and the remainder of the long car ride back to Lima is mostly silent.
Sam looks out of the window, concentrating.
This is crazy, he thinks and for a moment he almost considers telling them he can't do it. He can't come back to Lima. It's insane!
But he remembers how elated he felt at first, and how seeing her was the first thing he could think about and how he just really wants to be near her again.
Suddenly it's not insane and he's relaxing.
He's ready to see her again.
So maybe he wasn't ready to see her again but now that he has he's reconsidering how he was going to approach seeing her again. He knew it was going to happen. The news that he was back hadn't spread yet but it would by at least the end of the day, if not before, if he could trust the rumour mill at McKinley.
It wasn't even like he had been intending to see her. He had told himself to just act like he'd never left, act like nothing had changed but it had.
It had been just as he had walked into the school with Finn that morning. They had been discussing his return to the glee club later on that afternoon but as soon as they had turned the corner, fate would have it that she was in his line of view.
And like that everything seemed to surge back to him.
That one moment where he had asked her to dance and nothing seemed more nerve wracking than waiting for her to say yes, it was that one moment where he was in New York, on a stage, at Nationals and all he wanted to do was hug her and tell her that they had been awesome. It was every kiss, every discreet hand hold, every hug, everything else, up until that goodbye, and that last kiss.
That last bittersweet kiss.
He can still remember it as if it happened moments ago, instead of four months.
Four months in which she had found a new boyfriend, four months in which she had dismissed him as 'so June' and he guesses that it's in that split second that he decides.
When she turns her head so he's sure she can see him, he grabs Finn and starts to walk down another hallway. He's not sure she saw him but he knows that eventually he'll come face to face with her and he's fine with that. More than fine with that.
Because he's not going to second guess this choice.
He's going to fight. Because, somewhere, deep down inside, call it instinct, call it him being crazy, stupid or just call it him being in love, he knows it's not over.
I have wanted to write a 'Sam returns to Lima' since the news broke that he was coming back. I was inspired but I guess I wanted to see how it all worked out. So think of this as a prelude to the 'holding your hand' scene in Hold On To Sixteen.
Have you all heard the latest amazing Samcedes spoilers, including a clip of a song in the next episode (not major focus on them, but some cuteness) and a song in 3x10. Oops, I have said too much. Want to know more or discuss/fangirl/flail, message me or find me on tumblr, same name as on here, WickedSong. Link is on profile. Don't look down on my shameless self-promotion.
Anyway, hope you enjoy this short take on before the 'holding your hand' scene and please review, leave your thoughts. I love love hearing them all,
WickedSong x
