So, this is my first NY fanfic.I tend to read the religiously, rather than actually write them, but after tonight's episode which will have made every D/L shipper out there have the same insane grin plastered on their faces, I couldn't hold back.I have been toying with this for a while now, but had been busy with some other pieces I'm working on, but especially after seeing next week's preview I figured 'pftt - let's do it.' So I did.And in all honesty, it didn't quite turn out how I was expecting, but I've posted it anyway. On that note, have a read, and I hope you enjoy it!
BTW, I should point out there are some spoliers from Heroes (May 10th's episode)
He was sat in the driver's seat of a Crime Lab SUV, parked up in the parking lot underneath the Crime Lab. He'd been there for the best part of an hour now, not that he'd noticed, staring numbly at the mileage on the display – 3089 miles, a number he forgot every time he glanced down at his hands. He hadn't cried – not since he got in the car, anyway. He just wanted to get away from it all, and let's be honest, who would think to look for him in one of the many SUVs?
Well, that 'who' turned out to be a very familiar face. Not that he noticed – he hadn't noticed the time, so what was going to make him noticethe petite brunette? She had seen him slip out and followed him, watching him get in the car. She had been about to step out and make sure he didn't drive off – not in that state, at least – but he never even turned on the ignition. So she had sat down on the step, ignored the glances she had received from the sparse, passing foot traffic, and sat there watching him, and the pain that was so clearly etched onto the profile of his face.
Like Danny, Lindsay was equally unaware of how long she had been sat there. It was one of those situations where she just didn't know what to do or say. Aiden. She'd never met her. She never expected she would, and now, she clearly wouldn't. Knowing Danny as much as she did, she was certain that Aiden was an exceptional person – she would have to be for Danny to allow her into his life.
When she'd seen the picture of her when they'd finally ID'd the… she couldn't say it… she didn't know the woman, and she dealt with this kind of thing on a daily basis, but she stillcouldn't bring herself to even think the word… 'Body.' The word was just too impersonal. And Aiden… it was personal – for the whole team.
When Lindsay had turned up all those months ago, she knew she was there as a replacement – why else would she have a job? Mac had never said anything about who she was replacing, or why. She'd heard the rumours of course; tampered with evidence; was fired; no longer capable of doing an unbiased job; not cut out for it. But then again, she'd caught the rumours going around about her; country bumpkin; could herd cattle with her eyes shut; chewed at straw; had worked in a lab where the most up to date piece of equipment was a computer with Windows 95 on it. Of course, that was all pretty much true, but it based purely on speculation. She turned a blind eye, or rather deaf ear, to the whole situation and figured that if one of her colleagues wanted to fill her in on what really happened, then she would wait for the facts. She was a criminalist, after all.
But when she'd seen a picture of… Aiden, she'd let out an involuntary, and thankfully, inaudible gasp. The woman was stunning. And it was simply cruel that someone that smart, and that beautiful, and that young had been killed the way she had. She almost cried herself when she had seen the tears in Stella's eyes. Sheldon had looked beyond shocked, Mac looked determined, Don was positively fuming, and Lindsay had mirrored all their expressions, almost as if she had become an empath. When Lindsay had seen the reaction on all of her colleagues faces, she had promised herself that she would make sure they got the guy that did it. Not because she felt she needed to prove herself, or because she wanted the others to treat her differently, but because she wanted to be able to help lessen the pain they were feeling.
But when she looked at Danny, she knew then that it was going to take more than just getting the guy. And that was why she was there, sat on the concrete steps, oblivious to the cold and damp seeping through the cotton of her pants, watching him. Finally, after chewing on her lip, she decided that she couldn't take just sitting there any longer. She got up, walked over to the car and opened the door.
Danny was busy staring at the numbers for the zillionth time when the car door opened, jerking him out of his thoughts. He swung his head around to find Lindsay's concerned chocolate eyes meeting his. He stared into them, and then moved suddenly. He could feel Lindsay jump in surprise as he wrapped his arms around her slim waist and pulled her close, before burying his head into her. When she began gently stroking his head he began crying.
Lindsay stood there, still chewing on her lip, as his sobs became stronger. She at long last knew what she had to do. She waited for his crying to subside before speaking. 'Scoot over,' she told him softly.
Danny pulled away from her, and turned his attention from the wet patch on her shirt, to her face.
'Scoot over,' she repeated, wafting her arms in the direction of the passenger seat. Danny gave her one last puzzled look before fulfilling her request. As soon as he moved, Lindsay hopped in the driver's seat and started the car – Danny hadn't gotten further than merely sticking the keys in the ignition. She slipped the car into reverse and pulled out of the parking spot, before leaving the parking lot.
Lindsay drove for several hours, off the island, and out of the city, until they were in the middle of nowhere. She'd been out here on a few occasions when she'd first got to the City. It was peaceful and reminded her of home, especially when she needed to clear her head. As the months had gone by, the number of times she'd driven out her had lessened as she began to see New York as her home. Of course, in the past couple of weeks, the visits had increased again. The whole issue with Danny and his brother, Stella, and the case with the 'mermaid' from her home state were enough to warrant many a night time visit to the country.
It wasn't until she pulled up outside a gate, that Danny finally made a noise, after spending the entire journey in silence. 'Where are we, Montana?' He asked her, his voice still coarse.
Lindsay just smiled at him before getting out of the car. Without waiting for him, she climbed over the gate, her movements giving away the fact that she used to climb gates to get into her paddock, and began walking in through the tall grass. She was stood there watching the wind make the heads of the plants dance in the dying sunlight when Danny caught up to her.
He stood next to her, studying her, before he himself turned his attention to the corn. 'I've always been an outdoor girl,' Lindsay started suddenly, causing Danny to flick his red-rimmed eyes to her. 'And even though I only moved a few states over, I found myself suffering from a huge culture shock. I couldn't sleep. The noises you probably aren't even aware off drove me mad at night time, and then one night I got up and drove and found myself here. Of course, the corn had just been sown when I found it, and I spent many an hour staring at dirt, but it helped.'
She turned to face him, staring into his cobalt eyes, and placed a hand on his shoulder. 'I'm not even going to pretend to know what's going through your mind. I'm not going to reel of a list of clichés. And I'm not going to force you to talk to me. What I am going to say is,' she sighed and turned back to the corn, 'the reason I stopped coming out here as much was because of you.'
'What did I do?'
Lindsay shrugged, 'you made me feel safe, and welcome. I am forever going to be labelled as Aiden's replacement, and I know that I will never be able to live up to that – from what I've learnt, she's an… she was an exceptional woman. But you never made me feel like that, you never made me feel like you were treating me as the replacement, and that made me feel safe.' Lindsay sighed again, 'what I am trying to say is that, I care for you Danny, probably more than you're ever going to realise, and after today, if looking at me makes you think of Aiden, that you see me as her replacement, then I will return the favour, and I will make you feel safe.'
'Whaddya mean?'
'I'll go.' She told him simply, 'I will leave. I will make it so you're not going to conjure up bad memories, and I will make you feel safe. I will help to turn your city into my cornfield.'
Lindsay stood trying to focus on one remarkably big head of corn, trying to hold back the tears that were burning at her eyes, as she waited for him to accept her offer. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around to face him. He put his other hand on her other shoulder – she could feel the heat of his hand burning through her shirt – and stared down into her brown eyes.
'Lindsay,' he started, his voice now gruffy from the emotion in it. 'Thank you.'
Lindsay's heart dropped, and she suddenly understood what people meant when they said 'it was like having your soul ripped from your body.'
'But,' he continued quickly – even though she managed to hide it from her face, he could see the pain in her eyes, 'I have already lost one of the most important women in my life, and I have no intention of losing the other. I need you, Lindsay. I need you in my life.'
He slowly ran his hands down her until they settled on her waist. Not giving her time to speak the words which were already in the process of being formed in her mouth, he bent over and kissed her.
Lindsay began to kiss him back, but pulled away, 'Danny,' she whispered, her voice beginning to break, 'I want to do everything in my power to make you feel better, but I don't want you using me as nothing more than a means to an end.' She shut her eyes, and took a deep breath, 'I don't want you to wake up x number of days, weeks, months, maybe, down the line and suddenly realise I'm not Aiden.'
Danny stared down at her closed eyes and the tears that were slowly beginning to leak from them. 'Me and Aiden, we tried it once. It lasted three hours in a bar before we both realised that it felt incredibly incestuous, and we ended up getting that drunk the barman had to call Flack to take us home. I promise you now, that I will never look at you and think of Aiden. I'm not gonna pretend that she didn't mean the world to me, cus she did, and she always will. But,' he continued. 'I have found myself falling in love with you. You make me feel safe, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna give that up.'
Lindsay opened her eyes and stared at him, trying to find the lies in his eyes, but sensing this, Danny lent over and kissed her again, gently at first, but much more passionately when her hands began playing with his hair, until finally, oxygen became an issue.
'So, Lindsay Monroe,' he said, inches from her face, 'I will take you up on that offer of making me feel safe, but you're gonna have to stick around.'
Lindsay smiled, 'I think I can manage that.'
Danny grinned back at her, then turned to look at the corn, 'it figures.'
'What figures?'
'That of all the things, you'd take me to the middle of a cornfield.'
'Well, I wanted your first encounter to be memorable.'
'Yeah, I can pretty much guarantee that I will never forget my first trip to a cornfield.'
'That sounds pretty corny.' She grinned.
Danny pulled a face, 'do me a favour, Montana, and lay off the jokes. You ain't that good at them.' Before Lindsay could make a comeback, he leant over and kissed her again.
'What's that look for?' She asked him, referring to the strange smile he had on his face, as they broke away.
'Nothin',' he told her. 'Come on, we should get back before Mac reports the car stolen.'
Lindsay nodded, and the two of them headed back to the car. As they drove back, the atmosphere was much lighter, and even though things would never be the same again, Lindsay knew that Danny was going to be alright.
