Pumpkin Spice Latté
By diav
Genre: Romance/Humor
Rating: T
Characters: Kim Possible, Shego
Story Type: one-shot
Summary: AU-ish. Shego makes a quick stop at Starbucks and is highly amused.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the Kim Possibleseries. Nor do I own Starbucks or any of their drinks.
Rush in, steal stuff, rush out. It's all done in a day's work.
Time to unwind with... Villains' Digest and the beautiful aroma of freshly roasted coffee beans.
I turn the corner and, aha, that one building emblazoned with its green and white trademarked drapes.
Hmm, a line in front of me. To be, or not to be, inconspicuous? I can just blast'em all away with my plasma...
Oh hell, why not, I'm green and stick out like a sore thumb anyway, not like Global Justice is going to be up my ass about blasting my way around a coffee shop. I did enough damage to their special ops team, they won't be chasing me for the next few days.
Waving a lit hand around, the line suddenly disappears and I find myself at the counter. Cute redhead's got her back turned, probably fixing a drink for a customer I scared away, huh.
"Here you go, Mr. Adamson, one low-fat vanilla latt- SHEGO!"
I can't hide my surprise. "Pumpkin?"
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I'm here for my daily caffeine fix, what else?"
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't beat you into oblivion right now."
"Your manager is giving you a dirty look, Kimmie."
Kimmie looks over to her manager who's practically staring daggers at her for challenging me, the customer!
The kid lets out an "Oh" and looks defeated. Kid's probably looking for a raise to pay for college or whatever god-awful Club Banana fashion is out now.
Victory! And I didn't even have to break a nail.
Ahaha, Pumpkin's gritting her teeth right now as she asks in such a droll voice, "Hi, welcome to Starbucks, what can I get you?"
I smirk and lean in close to the redhead's face. I'm doing it to make her uncomfortable on purpose.
"One tall Pumpkin Spice Latté." I emphasize the word 'spice' for the desired effect: crimson quickly spreads to Princess' cheeks. "On second thought, make it extra spicy."
"Shego!" She sneers in my face.
I bring mine closer to hers. "Well, how much?"
The poor kid sputters for a minute and then punches in the order. "$3.94, please."
Keeping my face closer to hers, I whisper, "I'd certainly pay for more if you could add more spice to it." I waggle my eyebrows suggestively and the poor kid looks like she wants to smack me right here and now. Her manager's still staring daggers, so she swallows nervously and shouts out my order to a co-worker.
A few moments later, Pumpkin Spice Latté in hand, I wink at Princess and make my way to a booth in the back of the establishment.
Villains's Digest, check.
Good view of Princess, check.
Pumpkin Spice Latté, check.
Blah, blah, blah, SSJ's terrorizing children over candy, blah, blah, blah, DNAmy and Monty Fist getting married- ugh, I suppress a shudder, and-
Blech. I spat out a mouthful onto the 'zine. "The fuck?"
"You did ask for it to be extra spicy." Princess slides her way into the booth without her apron. Seems like the kid's done her shift for the day.
I quirk an eyebrow, only to notice the seriousness of her gaze.
I quip with a "Well, I can handle all sorts of spicy, it's just that you probably don't have those kinds of spices here" and wave my hand towards the barista counter.
Her gaze unwavering, Princess' next words made me recoil. Just a bit.
"Well, I know where I can make it more spicy for you."
Crimson all over her face, her hands fidgeting, and she's got a creepy predatory smile on her face.
I smirk and lean closer to her. "Oh yeah, I bet you can't handle my spicy."
She playfully rolls the pet name. "The hell with your spicy, I'm the Pumpkin Spice here."
"Oh, really?" Double the eyebrows are raised at her now.
Still smiling at me, she gives me a look that says, "Bitch, who do you think you're messing with here?" Or that's what I think she's saying.
That smile continues to freak me out.
"The Shego, speechless?" Oh hell no, she's taunting me.
"Kimmie, Kimmie, Kimmie, you can't really can't handle this." I wave my hands up and down at my body.
She leans in closer. "Oh, really?" Always taunting me, she is.
So I lean in closer. "Yeah, really."
"You should probably try the real Pumpkin Spice first."
We're awfully close. So awfully close that I didn't really feel her lips press onto mine.
Huh, whaddaya know, it's spicy.
Author's Notes: This came out of a Twitter conversation with my friend Kaoru (Hime no Ichigo on FFN) about how we were going to go get Pumpkin Spice Lattés from Starbucks.
Wait, what?
Pumpkin...
Spice...
PUMPKIN SPICE?
This had to be written! And so it was.
If you're wondering, a Pumpkin Spice Latté where I live is $3.75 without tax ($3.94 includes a 5% tax).
p.s., I'm going to go bury myself somewhere now. I am unable to write anything laced with dirty humour and I barely edited this. Doesn't make much sense, but that's why it's AU.
