Title: Actions and Consequences
Rating: NC-17 Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship
Disclaimers: Not mine, don't own them.
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: Can Clark and Lex pick up the pieces?
Thanks: Many thanks to Jaye for the beta!
Website: for CLFF last line: 'Those who can not hear an angry shout may strain to hear a whisper.'
Clark left the Daily Planet with a heavy heart. He'd just found out information that could destroy Lex. He still didn't know quite what to do with it. That he'd have to confront Lex was a given. They'd always been honest with each other; every since they'd started dating in Clark's senior year in high school.
Clark could still remember telling Lex the truth about himself when they were in the throes of passion. Both of them were naked and Clark was just ready to enter Lex when he stopped, looked into his eyes and told him the truth. Though he knew that wasn't the best time to say anything, he couldn't take it a step further without Lex knowing who he truly was. That caused a rift for all of two days but they'd been going strong ever since.
When Clark moved to Metropolis to go to Met U, Lex also moved to Metropolis and together they'd taken up residence in the penthouse where they still lived.
Clark had now been out of school for two years and was working at the Daily Planet. There were some things he'd found out about Lex and Lex's dealings that he didn't like. Lex always seemed to tap dance around the law. Still Clark loved him and accepted that this was Lex, just as Lex accepted Clark as Superman. But this, this was something else altogether. Clark couldn't accept this and he couldn't just look the other way.
Lex was in the den watching the news and nursing a drink when Clark came in. Clark usually beat Lex home, so it was kind of unusual to see Lex lounging when he got home.
"You're here earlier then normal." Clark took a seat beside Lex and began to untangle himself from his Daily Planet attire. Shirts, tie, shoes and everything came off until he felt comfortable, like the real Clark Kent and not the fumbling reporter image that he presented to the world.
"I wanted to be here when you got here. It seems like we're so busy that we've hardly had any time to spend together." Lex placed his hand on the nape of Clark's neck and began to rub. It was a soothing motion that always helped drain the tension of the day away. Clark sighed and leaned into Lex touch, all thoughts of confronting Lex gone. Lex leaned over and whispered in Clark's ear.
"How about we pop some popcorn and sit back and watch DVDs the rest of the night? Anything you want, we haven't done that in a while." Lex continued to massage his neck and Clark looked up into Lex eyes and saw the hope Lex had of a quiet evening in. He knew Lex was asking him to hang up Superman for one night; just one night where he put business aside and Clark put Superman on the shelf. It was all there in his eyes. But as much as Clark wanted to, he knew he couldn't. Then Lex leaned in and placed a soft sweet kiss to his lips and whispered "Baby please..." That did it. Clark felt all his resolve fall away. Lex never called him baby; it was a term of affection that Clark suspected Lex hated.
Clark awoke the next morning tangled in Lex arms and realized he never did getting around to talking to him about what he'd found out. This was a problem for many reasons; the number one reason being his partner at the Planet, Lois Lane. She wasn't going to sit on this story; not for a second and Clark was sure the fallout was going to be awful. But he couldn't protect Lex if he didn't talk to him and first get his side of the story. He made a note to himself that he would talk to Lex tonight and that he wouldn't be distracted this time.
Clark paced back and forward across the balcony. It had been two weeks and he still hadn't confronted Lex. He didn't really understand what the problem was. He and Lex had always been open and honest with each other. What was causing him to hesitate? Lex had asked him repeatedly what was wrong, and while he'd not lied and said everything was fine he had put Lex off every time by making promises to talk about it later.
"Are you coming inside?" Clark looked up, startled to see Lex had joined him on the balcony.
"You must really be preoccupied; you didn't even notice that I've been standing here for the last ten minutes." Lex had on his red pajamas, red housecoat and red slippers. Why every set of pajamas had to have a matching housecoat and slippers was beyond Clark.
"Clark I wish you would tell me what's wrong, I wish you with trust me with this." Lex walked up to him and Clark pulled him into a tight embrace.
God, he loved Lex; more than anything. Just the thought of losing him sent Clark into a tailspin. But he knew that if he confirmed what he thought was true, then it could very well spell the end for them. He also realized that this is why he'd been hesitating. Some things Clark could forgive and look the other way but some things he had to stand his ground on, no matter how great the cost.
"It has nothing to do with trust, Lex," Clark reassured him by holding him even tighter, as tightly as he could with out hurting him.
"Is it your parents? Your dad? His heart..."
"Lex, stop. My partners are fine." Clark's parents were fine. Jonathan had suffered a mild heart attack a year ago but upon their last visit a month ago everything was fine. Jonathan Kent would never approve of Lex in Clark's life but he had learned to live with it and over the years he and Lex had settled into a low-level truce. Martha on the other hand, treated Lex as one of the family and never made him feel any other way. No, Clark's parents were perfect. He and Lex were the problem and in his eyes this had gone on long enough.
"Let's go inside we'll talk in there." Lex led the way into the bedroom where Clark stripped off Superman and climbed between the covers. Lex discarded his robe and climbed in as well.
"Lex some things have come to my attention," Clark started. He rested his head against the headboard and turned to look at Lex who was in the same position.
"So this is about us then, Clark? I'm surprised. What could be so bad to cause all of this?"
"Lois and I have uncovered information about your research with Quantum Mechanics. In using the string theory, you are experimenting on humans Lex. Sending them in and pulling pieces of them back. Pieces of them. Lex, what the hell is going on?" Clark forced himself to look into Lex's eyes. Lex stared at him for a second and then he flinched as if he'd been struck. This was not what Clark wanted, this is what he had tried to avoid.
"Go to sleep Clark. We'll discuss this in the morning." Lex rolled over onto his side, his back stiff, letting Clark know that he had no choice but to wait and see what tomorrow would bring.
When Clark woke he realized that Lex was already gone. Lex never left without saying goodbye first. They always got up together, showered together, got dressed together and then sat down to breakfast together; no matter how mad one was with the other. Clark could remember many times when they had gone through their morning rituals with neither of them breathing a word to the other. For Lex to skip out all together let Clark know exactly how upset Lex was. Clark sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to figure out what it was that had touched Lex and made him this angry. They'd fought before; they'd even fought over things of this nature before. Lex's anger seemed misplaced.
Clark got up to pull out his suit for the day only to find all of Lex's clothes were gone. He stared in amazement for a second, too shocked for words. When he finally came to, he yanked up the phone and called Lex. He answered on the first ring; maybe he'd been waiting for Clark to call.
"Lex what the hell?'
"Surely Martha taught you better manners then that Clark." Lex had an easiness to his voice and it annoyed the hell out of Clark. Now was not the time for jokes and games.
"Lex..."
"Clark, I think it's time for a change. You and I, we need some space Clark. The penthouse is yours of course. I've had my things moved to the house across town."
"When did you do all of this?"
"While you were sleeping."
"Why? Lex we've fought before,"
"Clark, trust me it's for the best. You and Lois you go along with your little investigation. I have nothing to hide."
"Lex, I don't understand. When you...Why did you... Lex?" Clark felt like he was falling fast. This could not be happing. Not after all they'd been through. Lex couldn't be saying that this was the end, not over something like this.
"Clark, let's just say I'm starting to see things a little more clearly. I think I've made a grave miscalculation as to who my friends are, and who my enemies are."
"Enemies? Lex, what the hell is going on?" Maybe Lex had finally gone insane or had some sort of break with reality.
"Lex, this is Clark. Maybe you should come home. Do you remember how to get here?" Clark heard Lex let out a little snort and then a soft chuckle.
"Clark, stop being ridiculous. I'm not crazy. You don't agree with the decisions that I've made, but that does not make me insane."
"You can't just close the door on us Lex."
"This is the last time that you will be able to call this number and get a response. Goodbye Clark." Clark took the phone from his ear and just started at it. This could not be happening. Did Lex now see him as an enemy? Clark went over the conversation the night before. What the hell had he said to set Lex off like this? Clark moved in slow speed as he got up from the bed, took a shower and put on his work clothes. Going to the Daily Planet and listening to Lois rave and rant about the evil Luthor was the last thing that Clark wanted to do. With a sigh he went in the kitchen and sat down to a bowl of cereal. Once his breakfast was finished he grabbed his briefcase and went out the door. But instead of heading in the direction of the Daily Planet, he rose to the clouds and headed straight for the fortress.
Once there he laid back and let all his feelings wash over him. For the first time ever he felt the overwhelming urge to find some Red Kryptonite and let the world feel his pain. Lex had left him. Lex no longer loved him, and he didn't know quite what to do about that. With a frown he decided to call in to work and let them know that he'd be taking a few weeks off.
Clark could still hear Perry shouting as he hung up the phone. He looked around his home to see what he would need for the next few weeks. It already had everything including a way to keep track of Lex's every move. Clark hadn't decided whether to take advantage of that little detail or not.
It had been two weeks and there had been no sign of Superman or Clark. Lex was pretty sure that he knew were Clark was, but the fortress was some place he could never enter unless Clark wanted him to. Not that Lex wanted to go there anyway, he just found it peculiar that Clark had not tried to reach him or talk to him since that first day.
Lex supposed it just proved his own little theory that Clark was the enemy. There really was a thin line between love and hate and Clark had been teetering on that line for far too long. With a sigh Lex twisted the Green Kryptonite ring on his finger. He had all the protection from Clark he needed with this.
Lex wished he could feel something but all of his emotions where cold. In that single moment when he'd finally figured it out, when he finally figured Clark out, everything in him had frozen up solid like a block of ice; more hard and cold then Clark's little fortress could ever be.
It was two months later when Lex saw Clark again. He'd heard nothing more about his research into Lex dealings with Quantum Mechanics and could only guess what Clark and Lois had been up to.
Lex chanced a glance at Clark. He and Lois were chatting up the governor. It was, after all, his birthday party. Maybe they were just wishing him a happy birthday. Lex snorted. Knowing Lois they were looking for any pieces of dirt they could dig up and print in the Daily Planet.
Lisha Tinge was Lex's date for the evening. Since his break with Clark he'd been through many men and women. Of them all, Lisha was the only one who at least challenged him. She was a doctor who'd had dealings with himself and his father.
Maybe if he could feel something. Maybe if his insides were not frozen solid, he might even like her. As it was she was merely a date for this party. There would be no going back to her place or his. When he needed sexual release he had only to pick up the phone and have some one sent over.
Lex could feel Clark's eyes on him and decided to go over and say hi. Lois spotted him coming their way and made a move to put herself between him and Clark. Lex almost laughed out loud at the foolish woman. Didn't she know that no one could ever stand between himself and Clark; that if he really wanted to get next to Clark that there was no one that could stop him, and that the same also held true for Clark? If he really wanted to get to Lex, Mercy and Hope would quickly become obsolete. He even pitied the person who tried to stand in the other's way, for they would surely find themselves in an early grave.
The closer Lex got, the sicker Clark looked. When he offered his hand for Miss Lane to shake Clark doubled over in pain.
"Lex why?" Clark asked as he stumbled away from Lex and his brightly glowing ring. Lex could see the hurt and betrayal written all over Clark's face and he felt a small sense of satisfaction.
"Maybe you should take him home Lois. It seems as if he's sick." Lex threw Clark one more stony stare before he strolled over to his date and continued on with the party.
Once home, Clark sat perched on the balcony for a long time. He was hurting so badly and he didn't know quite what to do about it. He had no idea that Lex hated him that much. He was wrong, that much he could admit. He and Lois had discovered that Lexcorp's research had gone on for weeks without Lex knowing of the extremes that had taken place. Yes, it was his company and yes, they were his scientists and yes, he was supposed to know every single detail. But he had been purposely left in the dark. Even Lois had been forced to admit that she'd been wrong in blaming Lex.
So yes, Clark had a lot to be sorry for, but still he couldn't understand the pure hatred he saw directed at him. All he'd done for so long was love Lex and with that gone he didn't quite know how to go about things. He didn't want anyone else. He loved Lex and until tonight he held on to the hope that one day they would reconcile. Now he knew better and now he had nothing to lose.
Clark got up and went down the hall into what Lex liked to call his war room and pushed a code into the wall. Slowly it opened up and Clark pulled out his little lead box and opened it. He could already feel the Red Kryptonite going through him.
Lex didn't know what the Red Kryptonite did to him. Clark had never told him. Clark let out a small grin as he put it on. It was time Lex learned just what he was really capable of.
Lex was almost asleep when he heard two loud thumps. Too startled to think clearly he jumped out of bed forgetting all about the green ring on the nightstand. He had no sooner reached the hallway, when he found himself being lifted off the ground. He looked down and saw Mercy and Hope lying unconscious. A second later he was standing in front of his cabin, up to his waist in snow, with Metropolis miles away.
"Clark I don't appreciate..." Lex started but before he could finish he was inside the cabin sitting on the couch. Damn it! Clark could move fast when he wanted to.
"You don't have your ring Lex. There's nothing to protect you from me and trust me when I tell you that you have no idea what I'm capable of." Lex looked at Clark clearly for the first time and could see the wild look in his eyes; the same look he had when he wanted to run away to Metropolis and the same look he'd had when he'd told Lex that he couldn't keep him out of the caves.
"You think you can just use me and throw me away? That you can use my secrets against me, and that there will be no consequences? You have no idea what I could do to you Lex. I don't have to kill you. I could take you to another planet, leave you there, lock you up and come back to fuck you whenever I got horny. I could make you my slave and there's not a damn thing you could do about it." Clark moved toward him and Lex gasped. He'd never seen Clark this far gone. He saw the red ring glowing on his finger and everything fit into place. It was a Kryptonite ring; it had to be. The green glowed around him too but it made him physical ill. Maybe the red made him mentally ill. Lex suddenly begins to fear for his safety. He twisted his finger where his ring had been and Clark let off an evil unfamiliar laugh.
"You wouldn't be missing your ring now would you?"
"Clark what are you trying to prove?" Clark came and took a sit beside Lex.
"What the hell were you trying to prove Lex? You caused all of this, not me. You pushed me to this point. You never told me anything." Lex could see the rage building in Clark and he knew that his only change was to get that ring off of his finger.
"Take the ring off Clark. Throw it across the room and I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything you want to know." Clark looked down at the ring then got up and went to the other side of the room before asking.
"What does my ring have to do with this?"
"It's making you behave this way." Clark smirked and then went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
"No Lex. You made me behave this way." Clark got out a beer and downed it. Why, Lex wasn't sure since it had no effect on him.
"You know I took the liberty of getting a few groceries before coming back to get you. Would you like a beer?"
"I just want to talk to you without the ring on." Lex got up and dared to move to the kitchen where Clark was in the process of drinking his third beer.
"Maybe I wanted to talk to you last night without your little ring on Lex. Ever think of that?"
Clark stalked pass him and went out into the balcony. Lex followed behind him. As soon as he stepped out he wished he hadn't. He only had on his pajamas. He didn't even have on shoes and his pants were already wet from standing in the snow when they'd first arrived.
"It's going to be snowing for a while Lex. All day tomorrow and the next day too. If I left you here you would be stuck. No one would be able to get to you. No plane could fly in this weather, only me. Only I can fly in this storm. Maybe that's what I should do. Fly away right now." Clark got up and stood on the balcony railing to show that he was serious.
"Clark come down and let's talk about this. I'm willing to tell you everything you want to know but only if you come down here and take that ring off." Lex saw a blur and a second later they were put back in the house and the ring was missing from Clark's finger.
"What did you do with the ring?" Clark stood above him in his now famous Superman stance.
"Nice try Lex. Now talk." Lex let out a sigh as he allowed all those old feelings to wash back over him.
"You know Clark, everyone seems to think that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Everyone seems to think that to look deep into ones eyes is to see ones soul. I don't agree."
"Lex what does this have to do with anything? What are you going on about?" Clark finally decided to take a seat on the table right in front of Lex.
"You wanted answers Clark and I'm trying to give them to you. Please don't interrupt me again." Lex voice held some of the steel that he'd felt earlier. Clark said nothing only nodded his head, silently agreeing to remain quiet.
"I don't believe you can look into anyone's eyes and see their soul, Clark. You need only look at the person, look at their words and their actions. That and only that will tell you the true nature of a person's soul, Clark. And I have to look at your words and your actions. It hurts too much to look in your eyes."
"Why would it hurt to look into my eyes, Lex. Explain." Clark seemed truly baffled.
"From your words and your actions it's clear that you never loved me Clark. It just took me some time to figure that out."
"Lex, you know that's not true."
"I only know what I see Clark. What I see when I look at you, when I look at your words and actions. I didn't leave because of that, because you didn't love me. I left because of what I saw when I did look in your eyes. That night in bed when I looked into your eyes I'll never forget what I saw there." Lex could feel everything coming back to hit him full force. He got up and walked to the other side of the room so that he wouldn't have to look at Clark.
"What did you see when you looked in my eyes Lex?" Clark was deathly still and his voice was barely above a whisper.
"I saw me. I saw how you really saw me. I saw myself in your eyes and what I saw was a monster looking back at me. A monster Clark, that's how you saw me. Clark what did I ever do to make you think of me that way?" Clark was on his feet in seconds and Lex felt him self being wrapped in very familiar arms.
"God, Lex I would never think you a monster. I don't know what you saw. And I don't know what in my words and action drove you to the conclusion that I didn't love you, that I thought you were some kind of monster. I love you more then anything in my life Lex. I know I was wrong to accuse you and I know you had nothing to do with what happened. I know that now Lex."
"You always accuse me Clark. You never give me a change to explain. You always think the worst of me. That's not love Clark. That's my father or yours for that matter, always looking for the worst in me. Don't you see what you've become?" Clark sighed and held on a little tighter.
"How many times where you guilty Lex? Hmm. Over half? Way over half... I only wanted to protect you that's all. I never wanted to hurt you; I never wanted you to feel like I didn't love you. If you want I'll give him up." Clark turned Lex around and put his hands on either side of Lex face and brought it up to look at him.
"I'll give him up for you Lex. Superman will never fly over Metropolis again. Just say it and I'll do it Lex. Anything, anything for you to believe in me again, for you to believe in us again."
Lex looked at Clark searched his eyes and only saw love and longing staring back at him. Clark squeezed harder. And Lex's felt the ice in him melt. It was like Clark was pouring dangerous amounts of sunshine into him, and taking away all the ice and hard feelings. Lex threw his arms around Clark.
"Oh god Clark I'm sorry."
"No Lex. I'm sorry, sorry I made you feel that way. Sorry I thought the worst. Never again. Do you hear me? Never again." Clark leaned down and captured Lex's lips in a sweet kiss. Lex knew one day everything would be all right. Yeah they had a lot to work through but one day they'd be even stronger for this. Clarks picked Lex up and took him to the bedroom, where Lex got out of his wet clothes. Clark stripped down until he was as naked as Lex. Together they slid under the covers. Clark took Lex into his arms again.
"I can't believe I drove you to the point where you felt like you had to use Kryptonite against me. Lex, I can't tell you 'I'm sorry' enough."
"Yeah well seems like I drove you to the same point. I also didn't know that red Kryptonite made you crazy."
"There are a lot of things we didn't know, Lex. We didn't communicate. We never had that problem before. What happened? Why didn't we just talk things out? We were both so angry. Why did it take coming here?" Lex snuggled closer to Clark, trying to soak up everything that he'd missed.
"We were too angry before Clark; too angry to even hear what the other was saying."
"We couldn't see what was right in front of us. We saw things that were not there, but couldn't see what was right in front of us. We even went out of our way to see the things that were not there. Why do you think that is, Lex?"
"The answer to that is simple Clark. 'Those who can not hear an angry shout may strain to hear a whisper.'"
