Don't Hold Back- Chapter 1
AN- Hey guys! First I want to start off my thanking everyone who reads this. This is my first FF… Eek… I hope you guys like it. This story just somehow came to me… I want to also say that I am not an English buff, so Im pretty positive that there will be mistakes here and there. I will go ahead and apologize for those in advance. Also… I am not in the military and none of my family is right now. My granddad was but that was before I was born, so with that being said… I don't know a lot about it… There might be things in my FF that aren't correct, but for the sake of this FF, well say that they are correct. I apologize in advance if I mess up on some things. (I will try my best not to though) Anywho… Let's get on with the story! Enjoy and if you like follow and leave a review! (:
P.S. ANY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM IS WELCOME, JUST PLEASE DON'T BE HATEFUL IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT OR HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING I WRITE… THANKS!
March 14th
"STOP, JUST STOP," he says grabbing my elbow as I try walking away, "I know you feel this too. I'm not the only one with these feelings and we both know it. Don't hold back your feelings anymore… Please!"
"I…I…" I turn my head away from him, "I can't do this. I'm sorry." I feel his hand drop from my elbow in defeat. I look back at him… at the man who opened his heart to me and that has helped me get through one of the most difficult things that has ever happened to me… and know in a way he is right. I do feel the same way as him. I can't though. I don't think my heart can take it if…
He lifts his eyes to find mine starring back at him. I can see the sadness in his eyes as I start backing away from him. I can't take looking into those eyes any longer. I turn quickly and walk toward the door. I get there quick and as I turn the knob I hear, "Tris… Please don't leave."
Don't look back. Don't look back…
I don't listen to the voice in my head and look back. He is watching me, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. As I take a step out of the door, I watch his head fall.
XxXxX
6 months earlier- October 3rd
"Morning Tris," Christina says as she walks in the bakery.
"Morning Chris," I tell her as I put the finishing touches to the sweet sixteen birthday cake I have been working on all morning.
"How long have you been here?" she asked eyeing the cake I managed to get done just this morning.
"Just a few hours," I tell her.
"Tris… It's 6a.m.," she says.
"I really don't know why you are surprised," I tell her, "You know I have not been able to sleep good since he got deployed."
He and I have been together since we were Junior's in high school. We were friends for much longer than that. We met in the 3rd grade when he moved here from California. After high school we stayed together. I went to culinary school and he went to the University of Chicago. We even moved in together. I got my parent's house after the passed away. He wanted to become a teacher and baseball coach, so that's what he went for. I finished my last year of culinary school last year and with the money from my parents passing, I opened my own bakery. It has always been my dream to make beautiful cakes. My mom and I used to bake a decorate cake, and cookies and cupcakes… everything… at home together. She was my motivation to get through school. It was a big risk opening my own bakery but I knew with my mom as my guardian angel… Everything would be ok.
I knew his whole family was in the marines. His dad, grandfather, and great-grandfather all were. They always expected him to follow in his footsteps. To their surprise though, when he graduated high school, he finally told them what he really wanted to do.
About two years ago his grandfather had a stroke and wasn't doing well. His grandfather's last wish was for him to become a marine. He went the next day and joined. I knew better than to try and talk him out of it because that wasn't going to happen.
He was deployed at the end of April but not before popping the question. I was not expecting it. I mean we had been together for a while not but I wasn't expecting a proposal. He did it with the help of all of our friends. He even played one of those cheesy marry me songs… I wouldn't trade it for anything though… I loved it and I love him.
"He is supposed to be coming home after Thanksgiving you know," I say smiling to Christina.
"Really… That's great! I will start planning the coming home party now!" she squeals giving me a hug, "But… Can we please start planning your wedding now?"
"You know what… Sure. Let's do this. BUT… Just a reminder, I am not having you over the top fantasy wedding. I don't need all the horse and carriage and big ball gown wedding… OK!" I say giving her a look.
"Ok… Ok…" She throws her hands up in defense.
...
"Christina," I groan at her, "We literally just discussed this, this morning…" Ugh! "Why in the world would you bring all of this stuff over? I haven't even gotten his input yet!" I gesture to all of her wedding books and binders full of ideas.
"First of all… You know he won't care what it's like. He will be over the freaking moon to marry you. And SECOND… You never know… Once you get started planning, you might decide you want to do a little more than you tiny wedding."
Christina has been working at the bakery since it opened. She mainly does just front of the house stuff but she is the best! She is also going to be a wedding planner.
"Doubtful… Let's just get started," I sit at the table and look over the pages she has marked.
I am immediately overwhelmed. I am looking at color schemes and different flowers. Do we want an outside or inside wedding? Do we want our wedding to be in a church? Are we going to have a reception? If so, are we going to book a catering place or have finger foods since it's a small wedding? Then my dress… Christina wants to go right away to find one. I can't believe there is so much that goes towards a wedding!
After about two hours of going over different things for the wedding I call it quits. I promised we could go next week and look for a dress though.
"We can go over more of these when I talk to him. I don't even know when he wants to have the wedding," I tell her.
"Sounds good,' Christina says grabbing the books and binders she brought in. She did leave a couple that seems to be the way I was liking the best for the wedding. "Well at least you picked the color scheme you wanted… Pink and Yellow… That definitely surprised me," she said.
"Well like told you, pink was going to be one of the colors. It was mom's favorite. Then every time I have gotten a call since he has been deployed, he had called me his sunshine. So yellow seems to fit. I have to say though… I would have never guess in a million years that I would have picked those colors for my wedding. I'm more of a navy blue and black color girl," I say walking her to the door.
"It will be perfect… and I am not just saying that because I am planning the thing of course," she giggles, "Tell him I said hello when you talk to him again. Also tell him we all miss him!"
"I will," I say before closing the door.
Whew I think I deserve a long hot bubble bath after doing all of that. Yep… I think I will!
October 9th
I knew Christina wasn't going to wait long… We are headed to dress shop. We go to a few bridal shops and they are a bust. I didn't find anything that fit me. I was about to give up when Christina squealed really loud.
"What?" I say grabbing my heart because literally she almost gave me a heart attack.
"How did I forget…? Belle Vie is having there sample sale this afternoon… I bet you would find a dress there and on sale. Want to go? We will have to stand in line though probably," she says excitedly.
"Why not… Can we stop and get something to eat first though… I'm starving. Wait you said Belle Vie… Oh yea they order a shit load of cupcakes for this event. I finished them up last night. Let me call Jackson and see if they were delivered yet," I tell her.
I hit the button on my car and say, "Call the bakery."
"Made from Scratch bakery, this is Jackson speaking, how may I help you?"
"Hey Jackson, it's me Tris. Has the order for Belle Vie bridal shop already gone out for delivery?"
"Let me check really quickly,' I hear him set the phone down. A few seconds later he is back, "Madison is about to go deliver it."
"Tell her don't worry about it. I am right around the corner and I will deliver them. Thanks Jackson," I say.
"Yes ma'am," he say before hanging up the phone.
"I have told him about calling me ma'am… He is only like 3 or so years younger than me…." I tell Christina, "We can just grab something from here to eat and deliver these!"
"Sounds good to me," she says.
"Hi, this is Tris with Made from Scratch bakery. Where would you like me to bring the cupcake order?"
They tell me to deliver them at the back door and when we turn the corner that the shop is on we know why. There are over 50 women standing at the front door waiting for the sale… That doesn't start for about 2 hours.
I look at Christina and give her a look. I know she doesn't care though. She will go fight the crowd for a good deal on any type of clothing.
I sigh as we turn down the alley to the back entrance.
"I guess we better hurry and help set this up so that we can get in line," I say sarcastically.
We jump out and grab the cupcakes. Once inside we are lead over to tables near the cash register. We have two women helping us as we quickly set the cupcakes out on the stands and table. I set some of my business cards along the table because if they are shopping for wedding dresses, they will need a cake.
Once we finish the owner and manager walk up that start chatting with us.
"Thank you so much. These look amazing," the owner says.
"Thank you. Anytime. I would love to stay and chat but it looks like the line has grown significantly and if I am going to get any chance at a dress, I better go get in line," I tell them as I turn with Christina and head for the door.
"Oh, you're looking for a dress?"
"Yes, I don't have a date set yet but we have started the planning," I tell her.
"Well," the owner says looking at her watch, "How about you go look now. We have about an hour and a half before we open the doors."
"Are you serious?" I say in shock.
"Of course," she says, "Better start now though, because once those doors open… It's a mad house!"
"Sadie," the manager calls to one of the girls by the dressing rooms, "This is Tris and she is the owner of Made from Scratch bakery. I am letting her look at the dresses now since she delivered and helped set up the wonderful cupcakes. Why don't you help these ladies out with whatever they need?"
"Yes Ma'am," she tells them as they walk away.
"So, Tris," she turns to me, "What type of dresses are you looking for and we can go from there. Unless you want a certain designer and we can start there."
"Umm…," I think about it, "I know I don't want big ball gown type dress or anything over the top revealing. I don't mind what designer it is."
"Ok, well why don't we go and look at a few dresses and try them on," she says.
We look at a couple of dresses and I show her the type of dresses that catch my eye. She sends me to wait in the dressing room while she and Christina grab dresses for me.
We end up trying on about 6 or 7 dresses then Christina comes running to the dressing room with one in her hand squealing. She holds up the dress and it has a sweetheart neckline and it flows out from the waist. It is a Lela Rose dress.
After trying on the dress I knew it. I just knew it was the one… So did Christina.
I turn towards her and she is already crying, which makes me tear up.
"Stop it," I tell her, "You're making me cry."
"You look so beautiful Tris. Your parents would be so proud of you," she says causing more tears to fall down both of our faces.
"This is the one," I tell her.
"No duh," she sniffles.
XxXxX
October 14th
I haven't been able to talk to him in about 2 weeks. It's been hard, especially trying to figure out this wedding stuff without him. He did send me and email saying he would call tonight. I can't wait. I have had my phone by my side all day. Just as I finish ringing up my last customer my phone rings…
"Hello," I say quickly as I walk and switch the open sign to closed.
I already sent everyone home since today wasn't a very busy day.
"How has my sunshine been?" his voice purrs into the phone.
My heart skips a beat. Hearing his voice was the best part of my day.
"Miss you like crazy of course," I confess.
"I miss you too babe," he tells me.
I can hear the guys in the background giving him grief.
"Oh shut up Four, you're just jealous that I've got a girl at home waiting on me," he yells at his best friend. Jamie and Four met the first day of boot camp. They hated each other at first. Jamie told me they were just alike and could get along. People actually thought they were brothers. I haven't met Four yet, but I have received several pictures of their unit and them. I know Jamie has asked him to come here for a few weeks after their deployment. I think he is hoping he will settle down here. He apparently doesn't have family, or at least none he talks to, and Jamie wants him to spend the holidays with us.
"Tell Four to shut up of he doesn't get any of my famous butter rum muffins when the two of you get back," I laugh telling Jamie.
"Aww, Trissy Poo," I hear Four say after Jamie relays the message, "You know I'm only joking. Don't tell the other guys though… Ive for a reputation to keep… Can't have them thinking I'm a pansy cake!" We all laugh. Jamie has told me about Four's reputation. He is a hard ass. He and Jamie always butted heads in boot camp. That was until they were both at a bar one night and all they had was each other's back. They had about 5-7 drunk trouble makers causing trouble and starting stuff with them. They managed to take on the guys and only come out with a few cuts and bruises. They were inseparable after that. They quickly became best friends and if you messed with one… You better expect to mess with the other.
"You are a pansy cake," I tell him, "Now let me talk to my fiancé!"
"Sure thing Trissy," Four tells me in a southern accent and it makes me laugh.
"I'm back babe," Jamie says.
"So… Christina has started helping me plan the wedding… Have you thought about a date you might like to have it on?"
He sits there for a minute... "How about a fall wedding?"
"Well actually… I was sort of leaning towards spring or summer… I kind of picked the colors out already. I picked pink and yellow… Seems more of a spring or summer color to me," I tell him.
"Pink and yellow huh… I wasn't expecting that," he jokes, "Babe, you know I really don't care when I finally get to call you my wife, just as long as I get to…" This makes me smile. How did I get so lucky?
Jamie and I didn't get to talk for a long time, but we did decide on a date. We decided on April 21st. Its only 6 months away, but I'm not planning a huge wedding. I also have Christina, so it can be planned pretty quickly. We talked about our plans for when they get back and for Christmas. He tells me before we hang up that it might be a few weeks before we get to talk again. I hate this deployment thing!
XxXxX
October 31st
"Tris get your ass down here. We are already 30 minutes late for the party," Chris yells at me.
"Chris, I hate this outfit… How and why did I let you talk me into this?" I ask her.
"Tris, you and I both know you look hot in that outfit. Now get your hot ass down here," Chris yells again.
I take a look at myself one last time before finally giving in. She has dressed me in the sexiest Marilyn Monroe costume she could possibly come up with. She is going as Audrey Hepburn. Obviously the sexiest Audrey Hepburn she could manage. She tried to talk me into wearing the Marilyn Monroe show girl costume… That wasn't happening.
After a short drive we reach Uriah's house. Uriah went to school with Jamie and I. He was what you would call our class clown. We were all best friends. In high school it was Jamie, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn and I who were mainly hanging out. Sometimes, Uriah's older brother Zeke and Shauna, Lynn's older sister would hang out with us and of course their friends. I didn't meet Christina until Jamie and I went to a party at his college his first year there. We quickly became best friends. Well that was because she said we would be of course. Ha… She wasn't going to give up on that. We actually did get along really well and it just clicked between us.
"Tris and Chris… Finally you girls are here," Uriah yells over the music blaring.
"I couldn't get Tris here to leave the house," Christina tells him as he hands us drinks.
"Well, let's catch you up then," he smiles a wicked grin at us.
We all cheers before taking our shots. It still feels weird to me being here at a party without Jamie. I haven't been to many since he has been deployed.
Uriah can still throw an amazing party. We don't end up leaving until after 2 a.m., which is late for me. The party is still going strong. I never stay until the end. They always talk about how I can't hang… oh well…
November 8th
I got to the bakery at 4 a.m. We have a few deliveries this afternoon, so I really need to get a good bit of work don't. After I pop the last batch of butter rum muffins in the oven, I wipe the flour off of my face. I always tend to get it everywhere.
It's just after 6:30. Christina usually gets here about this time. I walk to the front door and unlock it and flip the sign just as Christina barrels towards the door.
"Morn-,"I begin to say.
"Have you seen the news?" she asks breathless.
"No not this morning, why what's going on?" I quickly ask trying to get to the bottom of why she is acting so frantic.
"Come on," she says dragging me to my office in the back, "I have been trying to call you! Where is your phone?"
"Umm… It must still be in my purse here in my office. I have been baking all morning," I tell her.
She grabs the remote and quickly finds the news.
They are just finishing the weekly weather forecast.
I hear the news cast start talking and I am frozen to my spot.
"Tris," I hear an echo of a voice calling my name before Christina snaps her fingers in my face.
I turn towards her and don't know what to say.
"It didn't say any names Tris. Don't get all worried and worked up when you don't know whether or not it has anything to do with him. When is the last time you spoke to him?"
"Umm… Umm… A few weeks ago," I manage to get out, "He told me it would be a few weeks before he would be able to talk to me again."
"Ok, so there is probably nothing to worry about then. Why don't you check your phone," she says.
I quickly walk over to the cabinet where I put my purse and get my phone. I have 6 missed calls from Christina and 3 text messages, one from Christina, one from Uriah and one from Marlene.
Chris- Call me ASAP
Uriah- Have you seen the news? Let me know if you hear anything
Marlene- Uriah asked me to text you. Let us know if you hear anything…
I have to keep myself busy or I will worry myself to death. I get busy on the cake orders I have to get done today.
Finally getting home after a long, stressful day, I throw my keys and purse on the table by the door. I check my phone for any call but there are none. Same the emails…nothing. I just want to hear his voice.
I have heard from all of our friends. They are just as worried as I am. I love them for checking on me and seeing how I am but whew… I have been so overwhelmed and stressed over the news that I have went off on a few of them. I immediately apologized of course but I still felt bad. They were only concerned.
I decide to take a nice, long, hot bubble bath. As I am soaking I can't help but let every bad thing cross my mind. I need to talk to him… Before I knew it I was dosing off. After jumping and waking myself up, I notice the water has gone cold. I don't even know how long I have been in here.
I quickly grab a towel and wrap it around me. I reach over and check my phone and email. Still nothing... Ughhh… I am so drained. I decided I'm not eating anything tonight because I am too tired. As soon as my head hits the pillow I am already drifting off so it doesn't take long before sleep takes over. I will hear from him tomorrow… I have too!
AN- Well that's chapter one! I know some of you are thing OMG… She's with another guy… Just be patient. (: I hope you enjoyed it so far.
I don't have a set schedule yet for when I will add chapters. I have already gotten most of Chapter 2 written already. For now we will say I will post a chapter a week. Days may vary. Again this is not a set schedule so I may end up (if I get more done) posting more than one a week.
I am rating this story M because in the future there may be a few lemons and also there will be strong language. – Don't be upset if this doesn't come for a while in the story… I haven't gotten that far yet so… I don't know when I will be myself.
Thanks again for reading my story!
Review, Favorite and Follow if you enjoyed it!
