Chapter 13
(Untitled)
Ralph wiped his nose and looked up. The other boys were crying, from the older savages (it was difficult to think of them as boys now) to the youngest of the littl'uns. They were all in a truly sorry state, and this, more than anything else, made Ralph ashamed. The officer was right, they should have been able to do better, but they hadn't. Piggy's near-constant refrain "What's grown-ups going to think?" came to Ralph at this instant, and Ralph thought, maybe this was the first time, for many on the island, that they actually wondered what grown-ups would think. Ralph could only truly then appreciate now, just how far they had all fallen.
Jack himself was dealing with his own, related dilemma. He had completely let go of all civilization, piece by piece, and finally had said "bullocks to the rules" and become completely savage. And now, to be faced with actual rules and authority, he wasn't quite sure how to act. He was still a little bothered from when Ralph had said that he was in charge. What exactly was Ralph in charge of anymore? Definitely not Jack, and hadn't all the other boys come to join him? But what had stopped Jack from speaking up had been nothing more than fear. He had hidden fear and other human emotions behind a clay mask, but now, faced with civilization, the illusion fell apart. Jack was afraid, more than anything else, of taking responsibility. The fire, raging on the island behind them, he had started it. And the glasses in his hand, that had been indirectly his fault, and the boy with the mark, and Simon. He had not killed any of them himself, but he had killed them, just the same.
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The littl'uns were winding down their sobs now. Wiping their noses, most of them were staring from the officer to the ship, bleary-eyed, with runny noses. Most of them had given up on rescue, and now, they were unsure of how to react. Some of them looked to the older boys, such as Jack, for a clue, but, finding their own emotions reflected there, just stood there and waited for someone to make the first move. This was done by the officer.
"Glad to see you're all done crying now, why don't we get to the boat?" When nobody moved, except to look up at him inquisitively, he added, "Anything you wanted to take with you?" Well, no. On the island they had had no physical possessions of there own. Yes, there may have been a shiny rock you wanted to show your parents, and Maurice had had a fairly impressive starfish collection, but now, it was all so meaningless. Behind them was wreckage, and most of them would be quite happy to leave it behind, and go back to the world of baths, and clothes, and school, and rules.
Finally, as one, like always, Samneric ran toward the boat. They ran like their lives depended on it, beelining , until the splashed into the water, and climbed the ladder.
And everybody else, letting any and all composure slide away like the tide, followed.
