How You Cried

By Bohemian Storm

Disclaimer:  I don't own the characters or the lyrics.  The characters belong to J.K. Rowling and the lyrics belong to Melanie Doane from her 'Adam's Rib' CD.

Notes:  Forgive me.  Snape lovers will understand.  I had to.

Tell me once again how you cried

The day I went away

Tell me once again how you prayed

To keep me safe and sheltered

            Through the haze of smoke and screams, he discovered that it no longer hurt.  He lay on his back, staring up at the low hung moon and the shimmering stars and found that the pain had left him completely.  He had always imagined that it would be painful, a ripping, tearing feeling that left him shredded inside and out.  He had never thought it could be as peaceful as this. 

            It was easier that they hadn't seen him fall.  His friends were hidden from him; fighting their own battles as he fell to a Death Eater he had once called his professor.  Maybe that made it easier as well.  He hadn't fallen to the Dark Lord like the entire world had assumed he would.  He had fallen to the powers of a dark man in darker robes and that had made it easier.  He didn't want to be The Boy Who Lived any longer and Severus Snape understood that.

            When the curse had hit him he had braced himself for the pain and agony but there had been none.  The sounds around him had ceased to exist and he had fallen backward slowly, as if time had stopped to allow for this moment.  It was as though it was more important than the war going on around him and he didn't want that.  He hated that his death would be seen as so important while there would be countless others who would be forgotten.  He hated it.

He didn't want it, but he was their fallen hero, the title thrust upon him when he was just a child and he had done nothing to convince them otherwise over the years.

            Now he had fallen.

            As the Death Eater loomed over him, he thought of his years at Hogwarts.  He thought of his lessons, the classes he had loved – and the ones he had hated – the teachers whose lessons would never leave him.  He thought of countless hours in the library and the common room, pouring over books that he thought might get him a better grade in the final exam.  He had spent so much time studying, though not nearly as much as Hermione.

            Hermione.  He thought of her first, her face appearing before his eyes like she had been there watching.  She was everything he had been unable to be; clever, brave, selfless and strong.  She was truly one of the strongest witches he had ever met and he was proud that he was able to call her his best friend.  Her passion was what he would miss the most, he decided.  Her fiery nature and snappy comebacks, the way her cheeks burned whenever someone humiliated her (usually Ron) and the way her eyes welled up with tears when the snarky remark really had hurt.

            Ron had been his very best friend, the one person he had always been able to rely on, even when they were in the middle of an incredible row, which only happened once every few years.  Ron had been the world to him and the world to Hermione and he only hoped the two of them would realize it before it was too late. 

            Because now it was too late for him.

            He remember Sirius and hoped that his godfather wouldn't blame himself or do anything to Snape that would land him in Azkaban once again.  He wanted Sirius to live, to see what the world could give to him.  He wanted Sirius to be happy because the only time he'd seen a genuine smile on the face of his godfather was in the pictures of his parents' wedding. 

            His parents.  Lily and James Potter.  They were last to cross his mind as his green eyes faded, still staring happily at the night sky.  He remembered seeing them through the Mirror of Erised and wanting nothing more than to reach out and run his fingers through his mother's hair, or feel the skin of his father's hands.  He had spent nights there, staring at them, picking out the similarities between them.  Everyone always said he had her eyes, but he had never really known it until then. 

            He ached to see them, to just let go of this life and go to them once more.  They would be waiting for him, he knew they would be.  All his life he had never wanted something so badly.  It would be heaven to see his parents, to finally touch them and remember what they felt like.  It would be bliss to hear their voices in his ears and disappear into their hugs like he had wanted to do for as long as he could remember.

            His mother would hug him, sobbing into his hair and his father would stand back and watch, tears gleaming in his eyes.  He would turn away from her and go to his father, grasping his hand before being pulled into the tightest hug he'd ever received in his entire life.  Then they'd laugh.  Lily would hold his hand tightly and she would laugh, relieved that she was finally able to hold her baby again.  James would hold his family tightly, vowing never to let them go again.

            And Harry would be happy.  For the first time in eighteen years Harry Potter would be truly happy.

            "Thank you," he whispered, staring into black eyes and then looking past into the sky.

Tell me how you knew even then

That we would have our day

Nothing from before to come between

And keep us among the lonely

            She was reaching for him, her slim hands stretched toward his and her red hair pinned back to reveal a smiling face.  His father was behind her, smiling in encouragement and waiting for his turn to hug his child again.  This was what he'd been waiting for his entire life.  This very moment was what he had dreamed of since he was a baby and yearned for more than anything since looking into the Mirror of Erised.

            Tears streaked her cheeks as she pulled him in, but she smiled, shaking arms encircling him.  A sturdy hand fell upon his shoulder and even though it was shaking he could feel the strength in it. 

            They cried together for the very first time since he had been born.  They cried with their baby.

Tell me once again how you cried

They day I went away

Tell me once again how you prayed

To keep me safe and sheltered

From the winds and the ways of a cruel world

From the sea and the sun and the sands of time

That would keep falling through

Until I came back to you

Tell me once again how you cried . . .

End

More Notes:  No, I don't know why I like the idea of Snape killing Harry, but I do.  So there. :P