Mamihlapinatapei

Author's Notes: This is my first shot at writing fanfiction and publishing it, as well as my very first fic for the House TV series. This is set around the episode of "Post-Mortem.

EDIT: I found out that when uploading chapters to my paragraph markers are removed. I had to replace the characters with horizontal lines. Oh well.

So no content has been changed. Just added the paragraph markers.

Disclaimer: Robert Chase, Chi Park and the rest of the characters from House M.D. do not belong to me. If they did there would be too much Chark scenes.

"When this case is over, I'm quitting"

Even if Chi Park had heard those words about 10 minutes ago, every mental repetition felt like the first time she heard it. There was no mistaking the situation; Robert Chase was leaving Princeton-Plainsboro for good.

Given the history Park had heard about him, it was actually logical that he was going to quit. He had been working for House longer than anyone else. Foreman, his former colleague was already the Dean of Medicine and she did hear something about his ex-wife who may have been the head in another hospital.

But that didn't change the fact that she didn't want him to go.


Chase did not turn around after his announcement. Park stood there, wondering what to say.

"Is it because of what…"

He didn't want to argue about it. "It has nothing to do with the patient Park. I've been here long enough to know that I have learned more than I needed."

He turned around and suddenly wished Park hadn't been the one he told about his resignation. There was no doubt some sadness behind those glasses and he had noticed her hands were clenched together. While he never admitted this, Park had grown on him.

"I understand. So you're sure?" She asked.

He gave a slight nod. "Positive."

She gave a shrug. "Okay."

Park could be quite stoic when speaking, but Chase had spent enough time with women to know what exactly she meant when she said "Okay". Her okay meant that she thought it was a bad idea. He wanted to make her understand, but with the case on their heads it would just be a distraction to both of them.

"You better go back to Foreman and help out with the case. I have to make some calls." He said as he walked out of the morgue.

He was out of the room when Park simply replied "Okay"

But deep down Park was sad and worried, knowing that her growing friendship with Chase was coming to a close too soon.

After Park had told Foreman and the others, they went back to the discussion on diagnosis. Adams decided to test the biopsy for viruses and left. Park followed her out, while Taub decided to stay when he noticed that Foreman didn't seem to feel the gravity of the situation.

"You're not even going to talk to Chase?"

"He didn't leave when he got stabbed in the heart." Foreman sat down on his office chair. "I think we're okay."

"Either you're right and your friend is just really upset or you're wrong and he's come at this calmly and rationally and you're about to lose a good doctor. Either way…"

He had left the words hanging to see if Foreman had understood the gamble he had taken, and decided to leave it at that.

After leaving Foreman's office he saw Park standing outside, looking lost.

"Something bothering you?" He asks, although he could already tell what the problem was.

"N-No. Wondering about other possibilities that could explain why Treiber has fibrosis along with his other symptoms. Adams doesn't need any help with the biopsy and I was just thinking of alternatives."

"Wondering about the patient or wondering on how you can stop Chase from leaving?"

Park said nothing, but the words hit home. Taub sighed, wondering if he would have to go through this when his daughters reach the teenager years.

"Did you tell him that you were worried and that you didn't think he should go?"

"No. Why should I? It's his choice." They started to walk down the hall.

"But you're not happy with that choice. It's okay for you to tell him that you know."

"He's not going to take it back even if I wanted him right?"

"Of course not"

Park groaned. Taub stopped walking momentarily to give emphasis to his next statements.

"Look, he's leaving after this case. If you know you won't see him again, why don't you just make the most of the time he is here? Go ask him out for a drink again. Or just say goodbye and wish him well."

She wanted to ask more questions, but Taub walked away to handle other hospital matters. Park stood there in the middle of the hallway, wondering what to do.


After Chase was done with a few phone calls in the hospital, he went back to thinking about the root cause of Trieber's symptoms. Under the chaos of this puzzle as he stared at all the possible illnesses on the whiteboard, he thought about Park.

He suddenly recalled that day when he was asked to choose between Taub and Park and without a second thought he chose Taub. Looking back he realized he what a jerk he was, all because he just thought Park was "weird". He then remembered the time when Park was just telling her story about her mother, instead of trying to be a friend he had simply said to move out and stop complaining to him about it. So he shot her down because she wasn't pretty, and because she had a family.

Despite all these events Park never seemed to take any of his actions against him, but somehow he felt that deep inside he had caused some damage to her self-esteem.

Then there was the sex dream.

He had never thought of Park that way at all, and he wondered if the dream had just been created because House got into this head. He had never had a sex dream before. Not with Cameron, with Masters, not even with Thirteen (and that was definitely strange to him) or any of the other female doctors he worked with the in past.

Why her?

Chase shook his head, as if to perish the thought. This wasn't the time to ponder about his friendship with Park or anything of the sort. He decided to himself he would solve this case soon, and work things out with Park later.

A few minutes later, Foreman had arrived to ask if he had found anything regarding the case.

Park had entered the room to change the patient's IV bag. While her hands were working, her mind was what she could do after the case was over. Would she ask him out for another drink again? It didn't seem inappropriate given he was leaving. She wouldn't mind if he wanted others there. It's not like it was a date or anything.

Her thoughts were cut short when she had heart loud beeping. She started to wake up the patient but he wasn't responding.

Taub came in as she was shaking Trieber awake. It was no use.

He was in a coma.

"I'll go tell Foreman. Maybe we should consider Chase's idea." Park said and walked out before Taub could say anything else.


Chase had been staring at the whiteboard when Foreman came back with the team. He caught a glimpse of Park and he realized he hadn't thought of how to fix things with her. He looked back at the whiteboard before it looked like he was staring.

Coincidentally Park had managed to catch his eye, but when he turned away she had assumed she was just overanalyzing things.

"Trieber's comatose" Foreman announced.

"All brains on deck!" from the voice Chase figured it was Taub

"Where should we start? We think you might be right."

"I'm not." Was all Chase could reply to Adams

Park walked towards the desk and looked at the folders. "You couldn't have been able to check all of these."

"Don't have to." Chase got up and explained that the morgue was basically a dead end as he went to the sink to clean his hands. Everyone else pitched in on possible ideas when Chase suddenly had said "It's the soap."

Without any further explanation, Chase walked out of the morgue.

Foreman walked up to the sink to check the soap and read the ingredients.

"This soap contains triclosan." He said to nobody in particular.

"Triclosan affects thyroid function." Adams added.

"Add the soap with his energy drinks and you got hypothyroidism." Taub continued and was now relieved. "He's going to be okay."

Park nodded, accepting that it was time. Similar to Chase, she had left the morgue without a word, except for her case she felt like there was a weight on her shoulders.

Adams turned to Taub. "Is she okay?"

"Yes she's fine. She's probably just tired." Taub lied.

As she walked out of the morgue Park took a deep breath and thought fast on what to do. He had been a really kind guy to help her out in any way possible, so it only made sense that she should try to return the favor.

"I think you have a crush on Chase, Park" Park said out loud to herself, only her voice was teasing and higher than her usual voice.

"No I don't!" Park replied, also to herself.

"Yeah then why are you so upset that he's leaving?"

"I'm only upset because he was a great doctor and we're going to lose him."

"You're only upset because you can't see him in the hospital anymore."

"No! That's not it! I…"

She would have continued this conversation but she was starting to get strange looks from the hospital staff. She looked around and noticed that all eyes were on her.

Red in the face, she stammered out of the hall.

Once Trieber was up and well Chase had gone back to his locker to pack up his things. His mental checklist before leaving the hospital for good was to first give his locker key to Foreman, say good bye to the team as well as some close officemates and then check on Wilson and House.

He would save Park for last, and remove this guilt he was feeling for his treatment to her.

"Hey." A small voice called out.

He turned to see Park standing a foot away from him.

Damn it, he thought. So much for planning it all out

He gave a curt nod. "Hey."

"So, all set and ready to go? Do you need any help?"

"I'm alright." He noticed she was no longer in her lab coat. Chase had hoped to just talk to her here in the hospital, but he had another idea. "Um, I'm going to give my goodbyes to everyone and I was wondering…if you'd like a drink after work. I hope you don't mind driving tonight; my car's in the shop."

Park took this invitation as a surprise. "Are you asking just me or should I be calling Dr Adams and Dr Taub too?"

"No, just you" Chase said these words with a sense of finality.

For a moment Park looked like she wasn't sure what she was hearing, but when it seemed there was nothing else that could have rhymed with "No, just you" she let the information sink in.

"Alright…" She said. "I'll..I'll see you in the lobby."

She turned around and walked out, fighting the urge not to talk to herself again.


Park sat on the bench by the door waiting for Chase. While waiting Park had started to talk to herself again but this time in hushed tones.

"I think he likes you." Park said, her voice switching to a higher decibel.

"No! He likes pretty girls like Adams."

"If he likes pretty girls why is he asking YOU out for a drink and not her?"

"I don't know…I don't know! Why do you think am so confused!"

Another voice came into the mix. "The mentally disturbed department isn't too far from here."

Park snapped and looked up to see Taub who was no longer wearing his lab coat. "What?" She asked.

"You know the worst place to talk to yourself is in a hospital right?" Taub asked.

Park dropped her face in her hands. "Sorry"

Taub gave an exasperated sigh and sat next to her. "So have you talked to Chase? Is that why you're nervous? He's already said goodbye to Adams and me."

"I did. He said he wanted to have a drink with me." Park muttered. "I don't know what that means."

Taub tried not to act surprised. "I don't think you should think about it too much. You two are friends. Maybe he just wanted to hang out with you before you go. Maybe give some doctor advice out of earshot."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

"I doubt you believe the other explanation. Anyway, you better get going. He's here."

As Taub got up and walked back to the nurses' station, Park looked up to see Chase walking towards their direction, carrying a box with his things with both his arms. She got up and pulled out her car keys.

"Don't be stupid Chi. It's just a drink." Park whispered to herself.


Park had learned from the time Chase had invited her to stay at his place to not overanalyze his intentions. He may have been an intelligent doctor and a great surgeon but he had been fairly straight forward when he wanted something. She started thinking about what House would think, and if maybe these actions were coming from a sense of guilt. She couldn't exactly picture what Chase would be guilty of at the moment. After they realized their sex dreams may have been because it was a sign of trust, their relationship was back to normal. She had hoped there would be some sort of development like hanging out more or having more talks out of the office but she had realized that going back to status quo had been more than enough. It was better than avoiding each other.

Maybe that's why he's inviting me out for a drink, she thought. We're close friends and he just wanted to hang out. It's all good.

Meanwhile Chase had been wondering on what to say when they had arrived. He realized that while he knew the gist of what he was going to say, how he was going to bring it up was another problem. He was hoping the alcohol he would be taking would make the words easier to say.

Other than their thoughts, the drive to their destination had been silent for the first few minutes. Park was glad she had to focus on her driving, but she decided to make some conversation.

"So how did everyone take the news?" Park asked.

"Oh. Everyone seemed alright with it. Foreman hugged me."

Park had to chuckle at that. "Good to hear. I heard some nurses were upset."

"Why's that?"

Park gave him an incredulous look before going back to the wheel. "Don't give me that. You know you're pretty."

Chase didn't really have anything to say to that. He was fully aware of his looks and the effect on people, which he may or may have not used to his advantage every now and then.

"Are you upset that I'm leaving?" he asked.

It took a lot of control for Park to not hit the brakes haphazardly. Thankfully, they were already at their destination. She parallel parked her car on the sidewalk across the bar and got out.

"You didn't answer my question." Chase said as he exited the vehicle.

"I think I need to drink a lot of beer before I answer that question."

Park regretted it the moment she said it. Her regret was written all over her face. On normal circumstances Chase would have just stared at her a little and shrugged her off, but tonight he just chuckled a little.

"Hope you don't need a lot. You're driving us home. Come on."

The two had arrived and took a seat at the bartender's area. They both ordered two beers and Chase talked about the possible hospitals he would be going to.

After taking a considerable amount of beer, Park decided to ask her question.

"So why did you ask me out for a drink?"

Chase placed his glass of beer down before speaking. "Well…I wanted to talk to you alone. I was hoping we could talk before I left but looking back it seems easier to do it away from the hospital."

"I thought you didn't like to date your colleagues." Park added.

Chase looked confused. "I'm not asking you out."

"Oh." Feeling highly embarrassed, Park took a chug of her beer, hoping the glass could hide away the blush on her face. Chase didn't notice and just decided to continue with his point.

"Actually, I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior in the past."

Chase took a deep breath before he continued.

"I admit that I'm very superficial, and I think out of everyone I may have taken it out on you the most. I used to think you were weird, but everyone under House is weird."

Park had taken slight offense to the comment. "Some are just good looking that you can tolerate it?"

Chase winced, realizing that he should be more careful when talking to Adams. "Once again, I was very superficial and I apologize."

Park didn't seem touched, but she had appreciated the apology. "It's alright. We didn't really know each other then."

"I know, but I was still a jerk."

She gave it some thought and nodded. "Yes, you were."

"I…I hope I didn't hurt your feelings." Chase said.

"I'm weird. I get that all the time. I just wanted to be treated normally, you know?"

Before Chase could say anymore, Park waved her hand as her way to change the subject. "Don't. I'm not angry at you. Let's leave it at that." She took another drink from her beer. "Plus I can't be mad at you. You did after all allow me to move in your apartment when I needed a place to stay."

"Oh. It's not a problem. You never did explain why you moved out."

Park traced the rim of her glass with her finger as she spoke. "Well, you seemed pretty lonely and watching you have fun with Popo made me realize that I should be grateful I still have parents. Even if they're annoying and every now and then I get the impulse to murder them." There was a tone of malice at the last sentence, and Chase briefly remembered the whole reason she ended up at House's team was due to her anger management. He decided to change the topic.

"Anyway…it was a little lonely…after you left. I guess it felt…kind of empty."

Park doubted it. "Don't you have dates to keep you company?"

Chase shook his head. "It's not the same. With you and Popo, the apartment seemed to have more life than it used to." His words almost trailed off…and he briefly remembered Cameron. It took years for the ache to stop, and now he felt nothing upon remembering her.

Chi Park had never met Cameron, but she had overheard that the wife had left him. It was after that he started to be involved with many one night stands. It had cost him the price of an embarrassing Photoshop of him, but it seems until now he had not changed. Park suddenly regretted asking about it.

"Sorry I asked." Park said.

Chase gave a brief smile and shook his head. "No don't be. It's been years since my ex-wife left. I've moved on from that."

"Then how come you didn't go out with Dr. Adams? I know she asked you out."

"After my ex-wife, I…I just didn't want to risk it. It was a good thing Cameron left, because I don't think I would have gotten by having to see her everywhere in the hospital. House would have fired me on the spot if I ever screwed up because I thought of Cameron. So I've decided to never date anyone in the hospital."

"But you had sex with…"

Chase raised his hand to stop her from talking. "In my defense, the patient was already discharged at the time."

"But you're no longer working at the hospital. You could have asked her out for a drink instead of me." Park pointed out.

Chase shook his head. "No, it's okay. I don't think…it would work out. She only asked me out because House got under her skin."

Park nodded. "I see."

She continued to finish her beer while Chase was fiddling what other things he wanted to say to her before he lost the chance. He could feel that the alcohol was working somewhat for he didn't think he would have spilled much about missing Park's grandmother or talking about Cameron out of the blue.

"Chi…I…"

Park nearly spit out her beer. "Did you just…call me by my first name?"

Chase was taken aback by her reaction. "Uh…yeah. Is…there a problem?"

"We just never used our first names when we talked. I find that…" Park squinted her eyes as if the word she was looking for would appear in the air. "I find that….nice."

"Well, you're no longer a fellow doctor. You're now my friend. I think that's what you meant by the dreams. For some reason I don't feel the need to put a pretense when you're around like I do with others."

With the beer making Park a little less reserved, she laughed a little. "Is that why you won't ask me out? Because you like the fact that I'm okay with you being a superficial jerk every now and then?"

Chase pretended to feel wounded by that statement. "Well you didn't really have to say it like that. I know you did kind of like me. You seemed really upset when I told you I was leaving."

"Of course I was! You're a great doctor and it really….really sucks that you had to leave. Plus I…"

What Park had wanted to say was that she liked him, but she just didn't know how much. She knew that she definitely wasn't the kind of girl Robert Chase would consider, and she had been fine with that because in a short span of time he had helped her out once or twice. But when she looked into Chase's eyes, she couldn't bear the humiliation of having to be rejected. She also didn't want to ruin what she already had with Chase. She just…

"I just wanted to be liked, just as a friend" Park said, exasperated, dropping both arms to her sides.

The bar may have had ambient sounds from the other customers talking about their lives, but between the two a needle would have fallen and they would have heard it.

Park had been mentally cursing herself and the alcohol in her system. Her eyes had been downcast, afraid of what his reaction would be. She sounded like some whiny teenager and that definitely wasn't going to help her reputation at all. The positive side of this was at least only Chase would have had to see this, and he was leaving.

She didn't expect that he would take her hand in his. She looked up to see Chase's blue eyes looking deep into hers.

"But I do like you."

It was then his epiphany came to him. He really…really did like Chi Park. It had explained why he avoided her after the sex dream, why he felt safe with her despite their differences. Most women who had met him had only wanted him for one thing, and he had given it to them with no problem whatsoever. But what Park was asking was for a mere social connection, and that in itself meant something to him. He wasn't the "Hot Australian doctor" to her, and it was nice to know that there was someone out there who saw him that way.

He wasn't sure if it was the beer or himself but for a short moment he wanted to just forget the friendship with Park and simply see if a real kiss with her was just as good as it was in his dreams.

But that moment had faded as fast as it had come.

"Chase?" Park asked, a little nervous that Chase was now only a few inches from her face. Park could definitely feel the blood rushing to her face.

He quickly moved back to their original proximity. "Sorry" He looked at his watch and realized that it was getting late. He wondered if Park's parents could be worried about her.

Park feigned a cough and drank what was left of the beer. "Well, I can't drink anymore lest I want to be arrested. You done? I'll drive you home."

Chase was still gathering his thoughts before he could answer. "Huh? Yeah. Let's go."


The drive to Chase's place had been livelier with him telling Park stories about the different cases and the kind of patients he had to deal with in the past. Park in turn shared some funny stories when she had to do some clinic hours.

"The look on their faces when I spoke back to them in pure Filipino was priceless." Park said, finishing her story.

Chase laughed. "You should teach it to me one time."

"I could…but it might be a little difficult now."

Park had stopped the car right in front of his place.

"Well, thanks for the beer. Take care and hope you find a new job." Park said.

"I'll find a new one soon. It's not like I haven't been getting offers before. But hey, if you need anything feel free to contact me. You can rant about House, your parents or that brother of yours to me anytime."

Park scoffed. "You'll regret you said that when you get a call at 2 in the morning because House kept me and the team all night long doing tests."

"I probably will, but then it will be totally appropriate if I get drunk and stranded somewhere in another state and you will have no choice but to pick me up."

Touché, Park thought. "Fair enough"

Chase got his things from the back seat and opened the door. The moment when he wanted to kiss her had returned, and it had left him with one foot on the pavement and one still in the car.

Park hadn't noticed it for she had her hands gripped into the steering wheel and staring at it possibly hoping it could give her some courage.

"Chase…one more question." She said softly.

"Yes?"

"Will you…will you miss me?" she whispered.

It was a question that Chase was wondering himself. He placed the box with his things outside the car before he slipped back inside and looked at her.

When she realized how strange that sounded she started to speak fast without a second thought, her eyes unable to meet his. "Not of course in that way you're thinking. You know, as a friend. I'm sure you'll miss Taub and Adams and House…well maybe not so much for House but…"

She stopped when he felt his hand on hers again. He had moved closer and his smile had increased the beats in her heart per minute.

"I will."

And without any second thoughts or hesitations he turned her face to his and kissed her.


Several feet away from Park's car were Taub and Adams spying. Taub, who was sitting in the driver 's seat, was the one with the binoculars.

After seeing Chase and Park off Taub went to find Adams and told her what had happened. Taub had a feeling that something was going to happen at the bar. Adams had been skeptical and they had made a bet that Chase would not do anything romantic at the end of the night.

Taub of course, bet otherwise.

"Pay up." Taub said, handing over the binoculars to Adams.

"What?" Adams exclaimed, grabbing the binoculars and checking out for herself. "Crap. He's not as superficial as I thought." She put the binoculars down and pulled out a $50 from her purse and handed it over to Taub's open hand.


When Chase pulled back from the kiss, his face had morphed to happy to realization that he had just something that he could never take back.

When she hadn't said anything, he felt horrible. "Chi…I…"

"Wow…so that's how friendship works with you." Park finally spoke.

"You're…you're not mad?"

"No…no…I'm not." She smiled at him "See, I told you that you wanted some of this." She gestured to her body with both hands.

Chase rolled his eyes but laughed all the same. "I…I guess I did."

"So…what now? Aren't you afraid of how this will end? I know you're more used to…short-term relationships…"

"I am but…I think…I'll be safe with you." Chase replied, smiling warmly.

With that, he gave her one more kiss before saying goodnight.


The next morning Park came into the office in a good mood. She sat down on their usual table in the room. Adams and Taub were already there pretending to be oblivious to Park's cheerful state. House had yet to arrive to the office that morning, but knowing him he wouldn't arrive until noon.

"You seem cheerful today." Adams commented, handing her a mug of coffee.

"What? Oh…" Park quickly thought of an excuse. "My parents didn't nag about me this morning about taking care of Popo. I have the night off tonight!"

"So what are you going to do tonight?" Adams asked. "Assuming we don't get a new case."

"Maybe you should learn a new language." Taub suggested. "You can learn the Yaghan language."

Both women in the room looked at him curiously.

"Well okay I didn't really learn it but I did like this one word I read." Taub smiled.

"The word is Mamihlapinatapei which means a look shared by two people who want to initiate something, but for some reason are too scared to start."

Adams's mouth was agape at the fact that Taub was deliberately trying to make a reference. She glanced at Park worried she'd understood it but she had smiled coyly.

"I'll keep that mind, but as you two noticed that night…" Park had put emphasis on her statement, surprising both Adams and Taub "You'll know that learning Yaghan is the last of my priorities."

She gave a triumphant smirk before taking another sip of coffee.