Title: Of Death, Taxes, and Heartbreakers

Author: TheVampireLucinda

Featuring: Shawn Michaels, the Undertaker, Paul Bearer

Disclaimer: Rated T to be safe. And kayfabed. The Undertaker really does have powers, haha.

Summary: Takes place in 1994: The Undertaker is scheduled to face IRS in a match at the '95 Royal Rumble, and the headline "Death and Taxes" strikes Shawn Michaels as the perfect story for his in-ring interview segment known as the "Heartbreak Hotel." Death and taxes may be certain, but what surprises await the Heartbreak Kid as he enters the shadowy world of the man from the Darkside? One-shot.

A/N: I love watching old promos and matches on YouTube! Unfortunately (or, fortunately, haha!) they get my Muses all in an uproar! So, I wrote this when I was supposed to writing a paper...Thanks guys.

Muses (in unison, for once): You're welcome. (riotous laughter)

Do you see what I have to put up with? XD


The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels felt a chill pass over his skin as he stood in front of the shadow-shrouded doorway, the sound of his own pounding heart deafening in his ears. Cautiously, he reached out to touch the frost-covered doorknob...but before his fingers could curl around the cold brass, it turned itself and the door swung fully open!

"I guess this is the place," Shawn whispered aloud, laughing nervously. As he stepped inside the dark, foggy room, Vince's warning from before echoed in his ears.

In fact, the owner of the WWF had freaked out more than a little when he had heard Shawn's plan to get the Undertaker on the Heartbreak Hotel.


Flashback: One week ago

"That's ridiculous!" Vince had screamed, as Shawn rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "The Undertaker doesn't do interviews! You know that! Especially with other wrestlers! Hell, he barely talks when it's just him and Paul Bearer!"

Shawn, never very patient and always wanting to get his way, didn't back down an inch. "C'mon Vin-Man," he argued. "I want to at least ask him. Maybe he hasn't done any interviews because no one's asked the guy!"

Vince shook his head emphatically. "You don't understand, Shawn; people have asked him before...Hell, I don't know how many times I've sent someone to the Undertaker's lair to go get him!" He leaned forward over his desk, getting in the Heartbreak Kid's face for emphasis.

"And not a single one of them came back unharmed."

"Un...unharmed?"

McMahon saw the brief flash of fear in Shawn's blue eyes and decided to capitalize. "Every single one of them—of the ones that actually returned—were never the same afterward. Most spoke of being scared off by just Bearer, and had nightmares for weeks after the incident. Only two men actually got as far as asking the Undertaker himself...and they came back in body bags."

Shawn shivered, despite his determination. He knew that the Undertaker and Paul Bearer had a bad habit of putting their defeated opponents in body bags after their matches...Thankfully, had hadn't yet crossed paths with the Deadman.

In his heart, though, he knew that it was only a matter of time before they stood in that ring together, be it side-by-side or face-to-face.

He was determined that their first time would be the former.

"Look, Vince, I know you're nervous and all...But I'm not some backstage lackey. I'm Shawn Michaels; the Heartbreak Kid! I can sure as hell take care of my self if Bearer, or even the Undertaker try to cause a problem while I'm there. I'm just going to ask them for the interview, and get the hell out of there, alright?"

HBK sighed when he saw McMahon shake his head again, becoming even more frustrated with the older man.

"What's your problem?" Shawn asked angrily. "I just came here to let you know what I'm going to do, and you try to scare me out of doing it! Why?"

To Shawn's surprise, Vince turned away then, his brown eyes closing briefly as he rubbed his temples (the sure indication of a growing headache).

"Shawn," the owner of the WWF said gently, as though explaining something to a child. "You're one of my top guys...In fact, besides the Undertaker and a few others, you're the best." Shawn snorted at that, but Vince ignored it. "I just...I don't want to see you getting hurt, especially for nothing. There are a ton of other guys you can have on the Heartbreak Hotel...Just don't risk life and limb to do something 'different' because you may just find yourself getting into more trouble than even you can get out of."

Shawn started to protest, ready to argue, again, that he could take care of himself; however, he noticed a certain look in Vince's eyes that gave him pause. It was that same damn expression that the McMahon wore whenever saw Shawn was doing something dangerous, whenever Shawn defied him and stormed out of his office, whenever Shawn yelled at him and called him every name in the book and then some.

'He...He cares about me!' HBK realized suddenly. 'He's not worried about losing talent...He's worried about me!'

Shawn's angry expression softened, and he reached forward, placing his hand on top of Vince's.

"I'll be careful," he said gently. "I promise. I won't push the Undertaker, I won't mock him...and I won't try to fight him. I'm just going to go and come back. You have my word."

Reluctantly, Vince nodded. He knew, in the end, that when Shawn had his heart set on something, he did it. He had no more chance of stopping the Heartbreak Kid than he did stopping the rotation of the Earth.

"Just be careful," Mr. McMahon said with a sigh as Shawn opened to door to leave. To his shock, the young Heartbreaker turned around and flashed him a bright smile.

"I will," he promised. "And...thanks for caring about me."

It was several moments before Vince picked his jaw up off the floor, and even longer before he sat down in his chair with a sigh and a smile.


"Hello?" Shawn called into the cold darkness, hearing his voice echo in the room as though it was completely empty. "Anyone here?"

"Wellllllll-come, Shaaaawn Michaelsss," a high-pitched voice greeted, sending chills up and down Shawn's spine. The Heartbreak Kid blinked as a single light came on, illuminating just enough of the room for him to see two chairs. One was empty; in the other sat Paul Bearer, dark eyes wide and face as pale as death.

Not waiting to be invited to take a seat, Shawn sat down, keeping his eyes locked on Bearer at all times, even though the door slammed shut and locked with a click behind him. The man ignored him for a few moments, lovingly stroking the large, new urn.

Shawn coughed to get the conversation started. "I, uh...Thanks for letting me in..." He shifted in the large, comfortable chair. "I...I had a question for you. Well, for the Undertaker-"

"I can answer for him," Bearer interrupted, leaning forward in his chair excitedly. "And might I say, it is an honor to have you down here in our domain, Shawn Michaels. You are young, like my Undertaker, and yet you two are rising to the top of the food chain here in the WWF...Oh, yessss!"

HBK laughed nervously, anxiously running a hand through his own hair. "Haha...Yeah, thanks..." He inhaled deeply, steadying himself. "So, I wanted to ask...I hope to interview the Undertaker on the Heartbreak Hotel, about his upcoming match with IRS. Would he be up to it?"

Paul Bearer was quiet for a long moment, and to Shawn it seemed like he was thinking things over a bit too much. The silence in the interim was killing him, and, besides all that, Shawn had the distinct feeling that Bearer was...staring at him, in the way that one stares at a painting or statue.

'Or a sandwich,' Shawn thought with a shudder. 'Oh, God, am I going to get turned into lunch before this is over?'

"An interview..." he repeated, voice far lower than Shawn had ever heard it before. "No, I don't think that my Undertaker wants to do that."

"You haven't even asked him! Let me speak to him."

"I know what he wants."

Shawn started to protest, but, in that moment, he noticed a large shadow looming behind Bearer that froze his voice in his throat. Mouth locked open in surprise, blue eyes wide, Shawn could only watch as the shadow moved ever closer to the oblivious mortician.

"Yes...We don't interact with-"

"I'll take care of this, Paul."

Both men started at the sudden, deep, rumbling voice, Shawn nearly jumping completely out of his chair.

"Undertaker!" Bearer gasped, actually standing and offering his seat. "I-"

"I believe that Shawn Michaels wanted to ask me a question," the Man From the Darkside said simply, with an air of finality. "And I also believe that I can answer him."

Nodding, Paul Bearer looked once more at Shawn, dark eyes flashing with obvious malice, before retreating into the shadows. It wasn't until the sound of another door opening and closing reached their ears that the Undertaker took a seat.

Shawn was still somewhat in awe of the size of the man. But as he sat in the dim light, the Heartbreak Kid was noticing more and more about him than he ever had before: the piercing green eyes were a lot softer than they were when he was in the ring; his long hair, which he often wore hanging over his face to obscure it, was brushed back, and flowing freely over his broad shoulders.

'Red hair,' Shawn realized, seeing the faint glow shining through the black dye. 'I wonder why he hides it...Looks nice on him..'

The Undertaker seemed to grow suddenly shy, breaking eye-contact with the Heartbreak Kid and looking off to the side. For a moment, Shawn wondered if the Deadman had heard his thoughts somehow...

But that was impossible, right?

"I don't think we need any introductions," 'Taker said softly, bringing a smile to Shawn's lips.

"No," HBK answered. "I don't think we do..." He took a deep breath. "I was wondering...Well, I guess you heard me talking to Paul already, but I was wondering if you wanted to have a short interview on the Heartbreak Hotel."

The Undertaker met his gaze again, and Shawn felt his heart stop beating for a long moment.

'I'm definitely going to get killed.'

"You'll understand my hesitation," the Undertaker said evenly. "I am not the most...public figure here in the WWF. I like to keep to myself; I have few that I keep close to me. I do not often answer questions in such an open, unpredictable forum."

Shawn nodded vigorously. "No, I do understand!" he affirmed, leaning forward now in his chair. "But...I also think that the fans...your Creatures of the Night...will appreciate hearing from you, since they so rarely do. And, unlike some others, I promise to just let you talk. I won't ask you any odd questions...Hell, I won't ask you any questions. You can just come out there, and say your part, and I'll leave you alone." He frowned slightly as he considered the deal he was putting on the table, but figured that this would be the only way to get the man to come out of his dark hole.

"I promise I'll be good out there."

Until that moment, Shawn Michaels hadn't been aware of the fact that the Undertaker's face could be so damn expressive.

Skepticism and amusement where the dominant emotions Shawn could read, along with a hint of admiration, which made the Heartbreak Kid feel simultaneously proud and bashful.

"You'll be good?" the Deadman repeated, even chuckling a little. "Somehow, I doubt that." He seemed to ease more into his chair, letting his guard down a bit, which in turn allowed Shawn to breathe easier as well.

"Hey, I can behave myself, under the right conditions," Shawn argued jokingly. "But you do have my word on that; I'll just let you have your say."

The Deadman smiled a little at that. "Now that'll be something different." He noticed Shawn's slightly confused expression. "After years of being 'spoken for' by Brother Love and Paul Bearer, it might be nice to have some time to myself."

Shawn smiled in return. "Yeah...No offense, but he seems like a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"He is."

"Think you're ever going to ditch the manager, then?"

"I doubt I'll be the one doing to 'ditching' here," 'Taker replied sardonically, smile fading. "Paul's very...strong willed. He likes to be in control. I'm at the point now where my own powers are constantly growing...I won't always need him and the urn, and he knows it."

The Undertaker sighed, and ran a hand through his long hair. "I have no idea what he's up to sometimes, but I have a bad feeling that, one day, he's going to turn on me."

The Heartbreak Kid was a little stunned at the blunt admission, but, at the same time, appreciated what the Undertaker was sharing with him...especially considering the fact that Shawn himself had a history of turning on his partners. To the Deadman's credit, though, he didn't even mention that sordid fact.

In fact, Shawn recalled, out of all the people who had berated him over his alleged "betrayals" through the years, the Undertaker had not been one of them.

"But all of that is neither here, nor there," 'Taker was saying, shaking himself out of his dark thoughts. When—if—the time came for Paul's betrayal, he'd deal with it then.

"You were asking me about appearing on your show."

HBK nodded once, keeping silent as the shadows around the Undertaker seemed to deepen with his thoughts. Involuntarily, he shivered, wondering if the darkening of the arena at the Deadman's approach signaled some darkness of mind...

Or of...heart?

"Are you cold?"

The question brought Shawn out of his own mind and back into the murky room.

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine...Just thinking." He looked around himself, trying to see through the fog and blackness, wondering if there was anything else in the room besides the door and the chairs. However, his quick scan was futile, and it wasn't long before he found himself once again looking at the Undertaker.

And the Undertaker was looking at him too.

'I'll never get used to that stare,' Shawn thought to himself. 'I can't tell if he's pleased, or wants to rip my throat out. Maybe a little bit of both?'

Though he was legitimately afraid, the thought of taking on the Undertaker one day made his heart pound with excitement. This man was dangerous, and that danger was somehow...enticing.

"I'll do it," 'Taker said suddenly, sitting up straighter in the chair. "Understand, Shawn, that I won't be doing this for everyone...But I'll do it for you. I have a feeling that our paths are destined to cross on more than one occasion. Our fates, I think, are intertwined."

The Heartbreak Kid grinned mischievously. "Deadman, I don't know anything about destiny and fate, but I do have a feeling about you and I..."

Though their chairs were a comfortable distance apart, Shawn decided to take a chance. Leaning forward, he reached over and gave the Undertaker a quick pat on his large hand, which was resting on his leg.

In fact, Shawn had noticed a while ago that the Deadman wasn't wearing any gloves, as he usually did in the ring, and that his hands were very pale, almost delicate looking.

"Thanks, 'Taker," HBK said sincerely, giving the hand another pat, surprised by its warmth. "I'll keep to my word, and try not to do anything...bad."

"I'll try to do the same," was the Undertaker's reply, a small smile coming to his face.

"Just don't Tombstone me."

"No promises."

As he stood, Shawn was quick to stand as well, not wanting to be completely overshadowed by the giant. He debated holding out his hand for a handshake, but then decided against it; he figured he'd been as friendly as the Undertaker would allow him to be for the day. Or year.

"I'll see you in a few days," he called back as he walked out the door, noting that the room was significantly warmer than when he had first entered. "Take care!"

The moment he was on the other side, Shawn leaned against the opposite wall, breathing deeply and trying to calm his racing heart. Though the Deadman remained a mysterious terror to him, a part of the Heartbreak Kid could see that the Man From the Darkside was still a man...And a man not unlike himself.

"I have a feeling," he whispered, making his way up the staircase and out into the sunlight. "That you and I will talk again."

After all, only three things were certain in life...


As soon as he heard Shawn Michaels leave, Paul Bearer quietly wandered back into the room. The Undertaker was standing in the same spot, still as death and just as silent. His green eyes were focused on the back of his hand—the hand that Shawn had so cautiously touched.

"I don't like him!" Paul said belligerently, stalking up to the Deadman's side, cradling the urn protectively. "He's up to something. He has a way of getting under people's skin...And you can't trust him! If you go on his show, who knows what—"

"Paul, will you shut the fuck up?"

The mortician was completely taken aback. It was rare that his charge spoke to him in such a crass way.

"I accepted," 'Taker explained, walking deeper into the shadows. "I'm going to go on Heartbreak Hotel and talk about how I'm going to make IRS rest in peace."

Paul was shaking his head, but decided to keep his more negative comments to himself.

"I'll go with you," he declared, to which the Undertaker shrugged, as though he didn't care. "And when we get on the show..." Bearer's voice was rising as his excitement grew, "You can send a message to IRS by Tombstoning Shawn Michaels all the way to Hell! Oh YES!"

The Undertaker gave his manager a dark look. "I'm not going to do anything to Michaels." He looked at his hand again. "When we fight—and I'm sure, one day, we will—then he'll get the Tombstone, and more. But not a moment before then, Paul."

Bearer dared to not back down, getting in the Deadman's face (or, as close as he could, given the massive height difference).

"What's this? You're getting soft because the brave-and-stupid Heartbreak Kid was actually dumb enough to seek you out?"

'Taker growled audibly, and only barely kept himself from wrapping his hands around Paul Bearer's neck. "Fuck off," he snarled, walking out of the room and not looking back once.

"If you don't put him in his place now, he'll never fear you again! Mark my words, Deadman!"

The Undertaker sighed when he was finally out of the room, finally away—at least, temporarily—from Paul's grating voice. He had a feeling that the man who had been his "keeper" was right about Shawn, at least, in some ways. The Heartbreak Kid was too fearless for his own good.

Still, as he looked again at his hand, the Undertaker couldn't help but think that this was one of the few times since the horrible death of his family that someone had touched him without the intention of hurting him. Paul sure as hell didn't give out hugs, and his opponents across the ring from him were usually either cowering, or doing their best to beat the shit out of him.

And yet Shawn, who had come to his dark domain, had reached out and touched his hand. Moreover, instead of the near-painful tingling that the touch of others produced in him, the Man from the Darkside could not deny the warmth that radiated through him.

'Shawn's soul is warm...'

Though he would never admit to it, the Undertaker felt a certain...camaraderie with the smaller, golden-haired man.

The Heartbreak Kid was not so very different from him, after all.

'Maybe I am going soft,' 'Taker thought with a self-deprecating smile. 'If so, and I end up getting my ass kicked for it, so be it.' He looked at his hand again, thought ahead to the upcoming episode of RAW when he'd be interviewed by Shawn, and perhaps, even further ahead when...

With another laugh, the Undertaker shook his head. He'd put the fear of the Deadman into the Heartbreak Kid when he saw him again.

Until then, he'd just look forward to seeing him.


More to come from this time period before the two of them had their epic battles (i.e. Ground Zero, Hell in a Cell, etc.) Even apart, those two have woven a story for one another...

Review? :)