on the plane

there I was shaking scared the sorrow was consuming me if there was one thing I didn't see coming was Duncan leaving, I tried to talk reason into that Punk faced loser. What else would you expect from a man-whore like him. Now I was crying out of both sorrow of losing him and the feeling of stupidity for myself of ever trusting him. The truth is what kills, the truth of the affair, the truth of my love for him, the truth of him leaving me. I am thinking so hard I hadn't even noticed that I was sobbing so hard that I had almost fallen out of the seat. Heather was patting me on the back whispering softly in her sharp voice.

"It's alright Courtney, we'll make them pay for what they did." I continued to sob the thought of heather on my side was encourging enough to get me to sit up my crying slowed, it didn't quite stop, but it slowed enough for me to speak.

"Thanks Heather its nice to have someone on my side."

"Its not just me that's on your side almost everyone is siding with you. no one deserves to find out something like that."Heather turned red on the last few words, I realized something not only does heather feel that way about Alejandro when he was with Bridgette and Shawna she also did the same thing to Gwen in season 1... Gwen...Gwen...

"I hate her"at first I murmured it then I let it out in a painful cry"I FUCKING HATE YOU GWEN!" I returned to sobbing only this time I forced my head into my hands, I thought about crying into Heather's shoulder, but that would only send me into another memory that was never caught on camera.

episode 5 season 1 after Bridgette broke Courtney's violin

Bridgette cried out trying to chase down her sobbing best friend "Courtney I'm sorry! Please come back."

Geoff in mid-laugh "Dude talk about a WIPE OUT" he reached out for a group high-five that only Harold returned.

DJ looking off in the direction Courtney ran off in "Geoff did you see how hard she was crying? this is not something to laugh about."

Geoff trying to hold him composer "Fine, Fine I see your point." Duncan got up and began to walk off in the wood following the same path Courtney did, Bridgette returned to her seat looking sad and shamed "Duncan where are you going."

He glanced back for a moment before saying "Taking a stroll to find a CIT who got lost in the woods." Geoff whistled back a wolf toot "Duncan paused in his step before replying "Shut the fuck up party boy"

Geoff shocked from his best friends words turned around and returned to his card game"Guess Duncan's not playing the next few rounds."

Duncan followed the trail of broken sticks until he could use the sound of Courtney's sobbing to guided him through the forest. after a few minuets of walking he saw the brunette sobbing into her knees, he felt a pull at his heart it pained him to see her like this, in pain, weak it wasn't the Courtney he knew.

He got down on his knees next to her sitting on his heels leaning his upper body forward so there was only a few inches between them. "Go away" Courtney hissed at him.

"No" He replied sharply "I'm not leaving" Courtney looked up at him turned her head so little space was between them. Courtney turned down into Duncan's shoulder she began to cry even harder, she tightly wrapped her arms around him, he in return put his arms around her so his hand met on her back. They stayed like this until Courtney Calmed down then the two sat there wrapped in each others arms Courtney resting her head on Duncan's chest, all was peaceful.

"Courtney"Duncan began softly"I think I might b-" he was cut off when a loud voice cut through the forest.

"ALL CONTESTANTS TO THE THEATURE FOR THE TALENT SHOW"

Duncan helped Courtney to her feet "Duncan, if you ever tell anyone about this I can promise you I will personally make sure you never have children" Courtney threaten with so little effort.

"I think I can do that princess." he gave her a kind grin, something he doesn't show much. Courtney gave him a little kiss on the cheek to say good-bye before she walked off back the way she first came.

"I would suggest going a different way than me so things don't look...strange." Duncan walked off a different way, little did they know this way start of something new.

Back on the plane

All the important things where the things off camera things like that things that changed everything yet no one knows, so i'm here to tell you what happened...

"Courtney! Courtney!" Heather chanted I shook my head I had fallen asleep in the chair in first class Gwen was asleep at a bar stool, too afraid to relax anywhere near me, I promptly went over and set her hand in a glass of warm water. I walked away knowing what i did was childish, but it was also calming. Every where I turned there was something else that would hurt me, today I was trying to start-up again just one step at a time. Put on your make up, fix your hair and get to break feast. Everything was bland now no colors popped out the way they used to, all food started tasting the same. sometimes you just need to relax and tell your self what to do. I sit by the window when Sierra came over.

"Courtney, you should probably get out of this room." Sierra looked concerned.

"why should I do tha-" I was cut off when Duncan walked into the room an ice pack against his eye and he was walking funny from when I kicked him. He walked over to Cody picking him up and pushing him up the wall.

"Back off you F***ing idiot." Cody shook as sierra tried desperately to loosen Duncan's grip on the small boy. I stood up and pulled him off the wall dropped a box from my pocket then left for the bathroom with out a word. No one would know, but Courtney was going to cry in that bathroom again.

"Whats her problem." Duncan said trying to sound calm.

"You are" Sierra screamed at him rushing over to Cody who tried to run. He got his usual ticked off look dropping a small black box on the table and picking up the one Courtney dropped before leaving for economy class.

"Did they just exchange boxes?" Heather asked to Sierra who was too busy with Cody to hear. I stepped out taking the box then leaving for the cargo area, it was a good place when you're looking for peace and quiet he would probably do the same with his. I wanted to face it just not yet. I had given him back a piece of his art work, the wooden skull.

Episode 12 season 1 as the boat Courtney was on was leaving

"Courtney!" Duncan called running down the dock, I stood the sound of his voice gave me some energy. "I made this for you!" He through a small wooden object towards the boat.

"Aw Duncan!" I caught the object seeing it was a small skull, it was like his signature you can't find Duncan without something skull related. It was a piece of him for home. "Okay this is really weird and creepy, but I love it. I'll never forget you!" I called back waving as the boat turned the corner I lost sight of him, then sat. I held the small skull close to my heart as a lone tear made its way down my face. I sat like that until the boat reached the dock, I had very few friends in the game so time at the resort was lonely I spent most of my time hunting Harold or thinking.

In the cargo bay

I sat there crying into my knees, hugging my legs trying to make my self small. I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems, to take up their thoughts that would be selfish and that's not who I am. There are so many lies about me, like I come from a large rich family and I care about no one else, and that I see others as people I can use for any purpose that I please. None of it is true and to see people supporting Gwen simply because they believe those lies. If there's one thing I'm not that rich or selfish, When I was 5 my father left with my older sister the last thing I remember him saying was that me and my mother were disappointments to the family, I want to prove him wrong. It's been 11 years and I haven't heard from him or my sister in all of that time, I remember my dad looked up to coƶperate lawyers so I now what to be one.

I have my fathers dark skin and eyes, this really bothered my mother so she sent me to boarding school to keep my away. Nothing I do if ever good enough for anyone in my life. Everyone I care about walks out on me at some point. I thought Duncan was going to be different, yet again I was wrong I opened up to him, and even worse he knew about my problem with people leaving yet he couldn't care less.

episode 12 season 1 after the kiss

later I stood against a tree day dreaming when Duncan came over and put his arm around me, "Hey babe." I gave him a look. "what did I do?" he asked I rolled my eyes.

"Don't call me by pet names, please it's something you do to a dog."

"Alright then, what do you want me to call you?"

"Courtney would be fine." he laughed a little at that, I could feel my self smiling

"Well then Court, Why are you being so up-tight" I sighed then told him the story, my story I hoped he would understand, that's why this was a jump for me, at the time he did. For how long was not what I was thinking of.

back in the cargo bay

i picked the box back up opening it slowly, inside was a set of notes, love notes. We wrote them in season 2. We used to put them in a box outside the art studio, used too. I flipped through them.

episode 13 Season 2

'I'm sorry about today, no one can know I still care about you. this was a brilliant idea of yours, now we can say what we want to each other with out the fear of ease droppers, not like Harold last season. although It won't be the same as seeing you in person, we should make an arrangement for that. ~Courtney'

'nice of you to say, and I think an arrangement can be made meet me at the podium tomorrow at 1100.'~Duncan

'I'll see you then. Oh and if you tell anyone I still care I will personally make sure you never have children.'~Courtney

'I don't think that's the best idea you'll see why tonight.'~Duncan

on the plane

I began to walk up the stairs that headed to the living quarters with tears in my eyes I stared down at my feet the whole time, when I heard the door shut in front of me. I stopped and tried to look up my vision was still foggy from crying, but I could tell someone was standing in front of me. I tried to take a step back, but slipped and fell backwards landing back in the cargo bay. I slid backwards about 10 inches until my head hit a crate. I tried to view the figure better as they came down the stairs, running now, towards me. I tried to push myself up against the crate, "S-S-Stay back." I tried to sound strong, but my voice shook when I spoke.

"Don't be like that. As much as you hate it you need my help." It was the voice, that voice, his voice, his strong, tempting, almost soothing voice. I almost jumped up to wrap my arms around his neck. I then remembered what he had done and tried to turn my head as he got down on his knees next to me. "Look you need help..."

"And!" I screamed, "Why can't you'll just leave me alone." I turned to glare at him.

He smirked "Now that's the Courtney I know." he put his right hand on the side of my face, he then leaned in and kissed me. I put my hands on the front of his shoulders. I planned to push him off when he slid his tongue into my mouth. I forgot everything, the pain in the back of my head, that Duncan had cheated on me, all of it just faded and disappeared. All that mattered was us now, I slid my hands up and wrapped my arms around his neck. I turned more to the side so I could lie down, he moved himself over me.

He broke away, then leaned his forehead against mine. "I-I'm so sorry." Duncan began to say,"I really don'y know what I was thin-" I cut him off with a light kiss.

"I don't want to live through a lecture right now." He smiled at that. "As long as We're okay, then I think I can be okay."

"Then we're okay" I let out a little laugh.

"We're going to have to see each other in secret again aren't we."

"Yea..."

"As long as I still have you I think I can make it by." He gave a quizzical look "As much of an asshole you are I love you and that's all that matters." I kissed him again lacing my tongue in with his. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I normal would fight with him a bit before letting him get his way, but tonight I didn't care as long as I was still his girl he could do what ever he wanted.