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Japan, it is just a place to me, maybe somewhere deep down I see it as home but my heart would put up a good arguing about that. I have a mother and father, well had a mother, thinking of them I sometimes question why I even call them by that title. They made a decision that would affect the rest of my life and that is the reason why I call them by their titles, maybe.

Decisions

My birth parents are a fuzzy memory for me now, and such a sore subject I am appreciative when someone was born with manners and tries not to put for answers. Growing up in Japan for the decade I was there was a great experience for me, I learned many of my manner in my younger years, my parents never took me to school, packed me lunch or even met me at the door to see me off, also while returning. The house was never empty because my mom did not work, we were a one income family, just like almost every other Japanese family.

Walking to school wasn't so bad, considering I had a friend who uses to walk me there. We met when my mom took me to school on the first day, and last time she did that. It was raining even though the weather station said it wouldn't be, that was just my luck I guess. To be secretive she'll be called Hare. She was one of the best times to happen to me, she was my one true friend, and even to this day I say that with pride. We had an American kid who was new, well so was I but I never really talked to him, I guess being young was enough for him to start learning Japanese and integrate well into our society.

The years flew by for me, every day I learned that I had to start doing things on my own, I received the occasional talk and questions from my dad, but I always felt like my mother didn't like me. After sometime though you get use to how things are and it just becomes the norm, so their I was, 1 friend and a part time dad. I could never hate my dad, he always was tired when he came home, when he did come home. I didn't know what was going on at time, dad being gone all night, mom smelling of wine when I was leaving in the mornings.

Then it happened, they made a decision that would affect me for the rest of my life. I remember it so clearly it sometimes scares me, form the smell to the temperature in the room, the way my parents smelled, wine and cigarettes, home.

Surprise!

I was anything but.

Can you imagine only knowing the small are you lived in and being told that you're going to a whole new country. Keep in mind that I was around 12 at the time of the announcement, so there I was, not even know where they said they were sending me was, I thought I was moving somewhere else nearby with a family member. At the time I hated them, I felt like they didn't like me, I knew my dad tried but to send me away?

I had no choice, so the next day I acted like everything was fine, the Japanese way. I knew Hare was going to notice, she had the nose of a dog and the ears of a rabbit when I came to me. So I told her everything, she nodded with understanding and just hugged me. It was such a touching moment, but I didn't cry. I cried and yelled at my mom once and got slapped so hard it was imbedded in me that you just don't do it. So I hugged back.

'US'

Kids. Such a simple word that makes women smile thinking of the day they have their own, men beam with pride at the accomplishments they will achieve. After the news I asked my teacher were US was, she stood up and walked passed the map of Japan and my heart sunk. She waved me over to the globe, I remember the feeling of each step and knew I wasn't going to like this. She turned the globe and pointed to the US, and I actually felt like crying, maybe because I knew where I was going now?

Each day for some reason got faster and faster, I hated it. I didn't want to leave, I asked Hare if I could run away and live with her. I was so naïve.

So the big day came, and oh boy was I scared shitless. I had a silver-ish blue hard case suitcase that had wheels; they got me the cheapest one, not even my favorite color. They had plastic smiles and gave me cold hugs and hollow kisses. My mother smile, was like something out of an Anime, her creepy smug smile, all she needed was the right lighting and for her to whisper "Checkmate." Instead she gave me one last hug and kiss, slipped me 50 dollars and wished me all the fortune, what kind of parents did I have?

Family?

Exchange student for a dead school in the middle of nowhere, which is where I was dumped. Sand and bushes as far as my height and eyes could let me see, I was dropped off in a place known as Phoenix, Arizona. The moment my skin was exposed to that heat and lack of humidity I knew I was going to suffer, it burned, it was dry, it was the complete opposite of where I was at, a new dry, hot prison.

Someone met up with me and threw my stuff in a van and we were off to kami knows where. It felt longer then the plane ride, seeing green come and go, it felt as if we were driving in a huge circle. Eventually we arrived, a new climent?

It was my first time seeing snow, it was cold and dry, I didn't know what I hated more, dry cold or heat. My new school was… something. When I said I got off in a desert, well this place was a void, dirt roads, and no houses in sight. School registration, paperwork, I had to sign some and it was official, I was an American.

She talked but I didn't understand, I was scared, who wouldn't be? I was across the world in a place I never seen, with people who spoke in words I didn't understand. Then I met him. The only asshole I would ever say I love, he was so enthusiastic I hated him for his smile, the people being him didn't matter, he was the one to open the door and gat my stuff. Idiot even helped me out of the van, then he spoke and I knew what he was saying! What a surprise.

The old women spoke to my driver and I was frozen, standing there with my suitcase in the snow in a whole new world. It wasn't until she left and a shit load of paperwork that I was welcomed properly. They were warm, even in this cold weather I knew this was going to be different and I felt excited. The mother cooked for me, it was all surreal that I was scared to wake up, the grandmother was half Japanese and most of the family could speak it, He was the most talkative tho, even if he sounded like he was reading from a sentence while holding in his poop.

I found a family that was interested in me, loved me, and welcomed me. It just took me traveling to the other side of the world to find my family. Home.