A/N: I don't own Twilight. If I did, I would be one poor sucker because a lot more people like twilight than hate it.
Why Vampires Sparkle
After spend nearly four hours traveling through the woods without a trail, Bella and Edward finally made it to their destination deep in the heart of the woods. About ten feet from where Bella was currently standing, was a bright sun lit clearing.
As the two took the last few steps toward said clearing, Bella asked the question that has been sitting in her head all morning, "Why are we here Edward?" If it was something important enough to take up nearly the whole morning she wanted to know.
Edward stepped into the bright clearing and announced, "There's something I've been wanting to show to you, Bella" As he spoke Bella took notice the millions of sparkles reflecting everywhere the sun touched.
Bella stepped into the clearing with Edward, the sun making her disappointing, ghost, pale skin all the more noticeable. Bella circled around Edward almost, but not quite daring to touch him, "Vampires… sparkle?" Bella asked unsure, but soon lost all her qualms and broke out into laughter, "Whose brilliant idea was that? What self-respecting vampire sparkles?"
Edward looked at Bella as if she had just grown three heads. What the hell was she talking about, he thought. "What?" He said his thoughts aloud. Edward simply brought Bella here because he wanted to ask her about a suspicious looking mole and the lighting here was just magnificent.
Looking down, Edward finally caught onto what Bella was ranting about, "Oh! You mean these? They're just from last night at the strip bar," Edward struck an amazingly, flamboyantly gay pose that just so happened to show the sparkles on his chest off. To add to the picture Edward smiled lightly and winked. "They call me Mr. Sparkles," He said in a suave seductive voice.
"They make those for women?" Bella asked completely surprised by this new finding. The thought of being able to go to a strip bar full of half naked and very delicious looking men caused Bella to blush, which in turn actually gave her face some color.
Edward broke into laughter, interrupting Bella's day dream, "You-" Edward started, but found he couldn't continue because of his laughter. Finally when he was able to calm down he continued, "You thought I was into chicks?" He giggled the last part out.
A few tears brimmed at Bella's eyes at the thought of losing her 'perfect' man. "But what about us? Edward… I thought we were a couple! An Item! How could you do this to me?" Bella finally let her dam break and a flood of tears washed over her cheek.
Edward stared at the broken hearted Bella, "Girl, you so not my type" he said flaunting his freshly manicured glitter nails and shaking his head.
A/N: I don't feel like writing this anymore so… lets just say Edward caught on fire like a REAL vampire should when out in the sun… and Bella just sort of stopped existing. If for some reason, god knows why, you want me to continue this just lemme know and it will most likely happen. Anyways please review it is appreciated, but try not too cruel.
