Yami: -_-;; You made her write this,Tomb Robber!!
Bakura: so?
Yami: I hate you
Bakura: Well ditto
Seth: Just read the Disclaimer so we can begin
Bakura and Yami: Seth doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh. She keeps wishing she does. 

Seth: Before you go read a lil warning: Yuugi is acting O.O.C  ^_^;;
Malik: She forgets that's all so a bit insane...
Seth: That to...


Chimayouto

- To lose one's mind -


I feel so numb, I cant feel you anymore. I used to feel you, you're thoughts and emotions.  But now I don't feel anything but a void between me and you. What happened to us.

Every step I take is a mistake to you, like every second I live is a waste to you.

What happened to us?

I feel empty and so cold, I feel loney and so old. And yet I'm aware of you being inside of me, inside my mind, inside my heart and in my soul. When did we grow apart, and seperate? What did I do wrong, wasn't I strong enough?

What happened to us?

You don't answer me. You just turn you're back on me like you always do these days. But I'm no stranger to lonleyness, no stranger to being ignored. And the the past catches up to me, the dark days of being friendless and being unloved surround me again. And maybe I was meant to be unloved. Maybe being isolated from everything I want is my fate.

But the promises you made, they sounded so true. So deceivingly true. You twisted cruel lies in to words of words of promise and truth, words I foolishly believed. Silly me, How could I of believed those smooth silken lies you told me.  I can see now how you used you're influence on me against me.

Weak minded Yuugi, silly naive Yuugi. Used by you're darkness as a toy and then be thrown in to a corner and be forgotten. You greedily believed those false promises that left that demon's forked tongue. You bathed in the fake way he 'cared' for you, you drank from the attention he gave you.

Stupid ignorant me, how could you've been so blind! After all that had happened to you to still believed that people could be trusted? Feh. No wonder everyone kept seeing you as a litle child, you ARE one. That and you're short and fragile looking, no one woudl believe you're true age if they don't know you.

Weak! That's what I am. Helpless, dumb and short. No wonder they left me! No wonder I'm alone! I'm dispendable, i'm just a convinience. To be used for other people's needs and then be left behind forgotten again and broken.

And they kept expecting him to never change , to be not affected by the way they treated him. They were blind to the scars he had on his soul, years of being bullied and ignored had left marks on his soul. But they didn't see that, they saw naive innocence. They saw a weak little boy.

They didn't see him anymore only his demon, the demon they worshipped. Crimson eyed demon of lies and illusions, of deceit and trickery. No not a demon more like a devil, a devil in leather. His dark twisted self, everything Yuugi wasn't.

Ha! yeha right. I'm not as innocent and naive, I'm not as weak as they think of me. You dont think years of bullying made me weaker do you? Hell, no.

I have a higher pain level then you think. Little Yuugi can with stand more pain then he show everyone. I lived in a world of pain for years! Feh,ignorant friends of mine.

Innocence? Ha! I lost that long a go. But innocence comes in many ways and in many forms.

Someone is talking to me. Heh, was I that busy brooding? Better pay attention. Ow, Yami doesn't look happy. Ow well I don't care. No, Pharaoh.I haven't seen you're Duelign Deck. No,Mou hitori no boku[1]. I will not help you find it.

Stop looking at me so oddly, do you think I'm you're servant? You might of been a Pharaoh in you're previous life but you aren't one now. And I migth be you're Aibou[2] , but that doesn't mean I'm always there for you. Stop staring you at me. What not liking how I answer you? Not to submisive enough? Or not to you're standards? What is it now, is it the fact I lost that childish look? Don't like me looking a bit darker, do you.

Yes, just turn around Yami and walk away. Walk away like you always do, my problems aren't yourse.


And then its all silent again, Oji-san[3] is to a convention for a few days so me and my demon are alone at home. I hate silence, it makes other sounds you usually don't hear louder.

Like yesterday when I returned home from a late night walk and when I entered I heard Yami and that slut Anzu making out upstairs. I slammed the door shut and smirked smug when I heard them move out the room and downtaires. My darker half looked angry at me for interupting his 'session'.

Like I care.


[Why dont you go the arcade, it's better then wasit time thinking bout Him]  Heh, where did you come from?  [No where...]

That's it all this brooding has driven me insane. [Not really, Yuugi. I'm that nagging voice in the back fo you're head] Yay, ne another voice. Dont tell me You're my other other me, right?

[Sarcastic, much?] I have right to be this way, whats with this 'Yuugi isn't allowed to use sarcasm' crap?  Anyway you have a point, Why should I waste time thinking about that bastard Yami. [Yes what where you thinking, really. Brooding over that uncaring spirit? If he turns his bakc on you, you turn you're back to him!]

Yes,We'll make him taste his own medicne. [Indeed, we shall]

***

Its busy, all these people and none sees me. Feh, let them ignore me, I don't need them. [Imbeciles, let them rot int heir little worlds. Let's find ourselves a game] Ow, look at that Tekken 4 [Feel like kicking some ass, Yuugi?] We'll imagine it's Yami [Yes, We'll enjoy this]

So you got a name? I keep thinking of you as 'voice' but that's hardly a name.  [A name? You want a name?]  I asked didn't I? Cant just go say 'Hey Voice' all the time, now can I?  [True]

So got a name?  [ Call me Akusei] Doesnt that mean 'bad voice' ? [You're name means 'Game' so what?]  You're right, Gomen Akusei. [Heads up, Mou Hitori No Boku. It seems you're 'friends' are here to]

***
It's Jounouchi!
What do you mean with 'What am I doing here?' I didn't know I wasn't allowed here. I swear that Kaiba is right about the fact that Jounouchi can be a dumb. Its a public place you loudmouth! [Maybe you should buy him a muzzle]

Yeah, and to spite him I'll make it a pink one [I'd love to see his face]  Ha! I bet he'd blame Seto and say he had coruppted me or bribed me or something.

Will you shut up! Finnaly he stops talking,why are you gaping at me? It's not liek anyone else has told you shut up. Ow, wait it's because I said 'Shut up' to you isn't it? Well Fuck you Katsuya! What never seen me glare? Glare,glare,glare!! Yes, Puppy back away. Keep telling your'se self I ain't Yuugi. Good, Now go away!

[Ran away with his tail between his legs, Seto is right. That baka is a dog] I agree with that Aku, I agree completely.


Wait now! Well well well, look at what Jou brought with him. It's the gang! Yami, Anzu, Honda and our resident dog. [Look at them. Fools, they'll pay for hurting us, for hurting you]  Yes, Aku. They'll pay. I'll ignore them as they did to me.

Ow Yami talks to me again! It's a frigging miracle. What never saw me sneer and give you a hatefull look? Do the words 'Leave me alone' mean anything to you , Yami?  They do? Well then leave me ALONE! No? Fine, then I'll go

***

A hand grabs my shoulder and whirls me around, Yami looks at me with anger and concern? Ha! I can see through his mask. "What is wrong with you?!" He asked annoyed. [You are, you fuck. Go and back to that slut of yours]  I grin at that.

"What's so amusing, Aibou?" The voice in my head is, Yami. That little voice that hate you with a passion. [Just let me, let me hurt him. Let him feel our pain]

Not yet, Not now. When the time is right. [I can wait, yes I'll wait untill then] I nod and see Yami frown. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, Pharaoh. I'm doing nothing. Just playing a game, yes just a game." Jounouchi scowls. "You're not Yuugi"

"Really? I'm not Yuugi? How come, Katsuya. Because I told you to shut up? Pathetic" I smirk at them, but is it really me? [Tell them the truth,Yuugi! ]

I see Yami narrow his eyes. I think I angered him, thats a bad thing. [Don't be afraid, he cant kill you. Without you there's no him at all]

"What's wrong, Pharaoh? I'm merely stating the truth. All dogs know when to shut up, but sadly Katsuya lacks brain to know when to shut up and when to talk, or should I say bark?"

I wonder if Jou could get any redder then this, maybe there would come steam out of his ears if I got him any angrier.That be fun, fun, fun!

"That's enough, Yuugi" Heh. Dumb Yami. He forgets Akusei! [He doesn't know me, Little one. I'm you're secret, all yours] Really, Aku? All mine? [Yes,Aibou] My secret, yes. My little secret! mine, mine ,mine!

"Why should I listen to you? Go play with them, Demon. We don't need you"

"What's with you, Yuugi?" 

"Nothing, Yami. Nothing wrong, Not me. Never me. I'm me, just me. Always me. No one else. Just me. Just us." [Always us] Yes, always us. Always us. Me and Aku. Just us. No one else. No one.

"Us?"

[Tricks, Yuugi! Lies all lies! He's faking this 'I'm concerned' act]  Aku is right! That demon is trying to trick me again! I know he is. Ha! I wont let him.

I turned aroudn and run. What if he'll follow me? [He won't. But He will punish you. You showed that you've seen through his act. He'll make you weak again, Yuugi. He'll try to make you believe in his lies again. He'll trick you again with his silk lies and velvet promises.]

I know he will, thanks to you. No, The Demon Pharaoh shall not trick me. No more tricks, no more. Yes, no more trickery and lies. Bad bad Yami! No more. No more.

Aku is right, Aku knows best. Just me and Aku. Not Yami but Akusei is my aibou, My Mou Hitori No Boku. Not Yami, Not Pharaoh. Not the Crimson demon. But Aku, only Aku

[Good, Yuugi. Only me, Only us. Just me and you. Yes, just me and you. Just me, only me]

Only you, Aku. Only you




*****************

[1] Mou hitori no boku : 'the other me'.
[2] Aibou : 'Partner'
[3] Oij-san : 'Grandfather'