Inspired by Through the Cold by Tulkika (her story can be found here: archiveofourown dot org/works/12009741 ).
This is a small piece of work I wrote while struggling with writer's block, and I have to thank this lovely girl for having given me the idea. Fluff, a bit of angst, feelings discussion ahead. This can be considered set in the first half of season 8
I hope you'll enjoy it!
Disclaimer: the show and the characters belong to the rightful owners.
The Bunker was quiet, aside from the light brushing of the pages being turned and the clicking sound of buttons being pressed on a keyboard. Sam was reading yet another book, his laptop open and set next to him, trying to figure out the meaning of a few passages that Kevin had translated from the Demon Tablet. Honestly, there was a part of him who didn't enjoy seeing the younger man bent over the heavenly stone all day, lost in a world he shouldn't even know about and that had cost him already so much. However, Kevin seemed to have taken the translation as some sort of mission, accepting his role as a Prophet much more at heart than he had while they had been fighting the Leviathans. Something had obviously changed for him during the period he had spent as Crowley's captive and at times the younger hunter had a hard time recognising the kid he and Dean had met at the mental hospital almost two years before.
Sam ran a hand in his hair, looking up from the time and pushing his chair a bit back, so that he could properly stretch his legs. He felt incredibly guilty for having abandoned the younger man, after Dean and Castiel had been sucked in Purgatory, as he still felt bad for not having even tried to look for his brother during the year the older hunter had spent locked up in another word. He and his sibling had eventually made up on the matter, even if the wounds were still fresh and sore and would remain such for a while.
A sighed escaped his lips. While he didn't regret having experienced a bit of normal life after so much time spent on the road, he felt stupid for having believed that it could have actually worked out. He and Dean had been showed over and over again that the family business was the only kind of existence they could ever have. He was sure that, even if his brother hadn't appeared out of nowhere, with a vampire as a companion above anything else, and brought him back to the real world, he would have eventually crashed his own illusion and go back doing what he should have done since the start. Namely, protecting Kevin and looking for a way to get his sibling back. It was in their blood, it was a call that neither of them couldn't ignore, no matter what.
That line of thoughts brought him back to what was truly bothering him, aside from his usual guilt trips. Dean was out on a hunt on his own, again, as he had been doing frequently in the last few weeks. The younger Winchester knew what was really pushing his brother to that kind of behaviour. His experience in Purgatory had left him itchy, but, above anything else, the truth was that there was once again something off with Castiel. Considering what had happened the last time, he couldn't blame the elder for being on the edge. He himself was concerned. What he hated the most of that situation, though, aside from Dean's stubborn silence on what was bothering him, was the fact that he found himself forced to go on hunts on his own too and that usually brought troubles, as it had happened just a few days before. If it hadn't been for a certain revived archangel, he most likely wouldn't have made it. There it was, the core of his most recent issues. Golden eyes and a smugness that not even almost deadly wounds could kill.
With a deep sigh, the hunter pushed himself on his feet and shut the screen of his laptop before heading for the kitchen. Luckily Dean hadn't been in the Bunker when he had more or less literally carried a heavily injured Gabriel back, so he hadn't been forced to explain anything. Apparently, the winged idiot had been too weak to use his Grace to heal him and had decided that transferring the wounds on himself and his vessel was a good idea. Objectively speaking, it had been a calculated risk, Sam understood it. Angels were more resilient and healed much faster than any human, even with powers so weakened. However, on an emotional level, the younger Winchester hated the fact that the archangel had put himself through such a sufferance only for his sake, after already having got killed to allow him, Dean and Kali to have a way out, years before. Not to mention that, without his help, they would have never been able to put Lucifer back in his Cage. Once again he found himself feeling in debt towards the Trickster and with no real way to repay him.
That wasn't all, though, because Sam had reasons to think that Gabriel's actions hadn't been dictated by logic in that moment. If the clumsy but heartfelt kisses they had exchanged in the woods meant something, and he was mostly certain that they did, the Trickster had been ready to die in his place without hesitation or a second thought. To sacrifice himself again, this time not for the world but for him, a mere human. The implications were so huge that made his head spin.
For that reason and others, the hunter had been intentioned fully to face the subject with the archangel as soon as the other had felt better. However, unsurprisingly, Gabriel had ruined his plans by taking off immediately, once he had felt good enough to fly again, also thanks to Sam's nursing, before the human had a chance to even approach the matter.
The younger Winchester pulled a bottle of organic juice out of the fridge and poured himself a glass. He would have rather something stronger, but it was barely nine in the morning and he didn't share nor approved Dean's alcoholic habits. Besides, getting drunk wouldn't have helped him that time. Gabriel had left behind a note before disappearing, saying that he would "be back soon", but Sam still had so many unanswered questions, about how the other was alive and especially about the two of them, so many emotions he had to let out and deal with, feelings that he couldn't work out on his own. So, he didn't know when that "soon" would have been, but sure as hell it wouldn't been soon enough for him. It had been only three days, and yet Gabriel was pretty much all he could think about.
He gulped down the fresh liquid, trying to focus on the cool sensation working its way down his throat instead of on the storm in his head. Most likely the archangel needed to figure out a few things on his own and that was why he had left. Or Sam hoped so, because, if it wasn't that, then perhaps his certainty that Gabriel felt what he felt, at least in part, wasn't so true after all.
A quiet, bitter chuckle escaped his lips. How had he ended himself up in such a mess? How had he gone from thinking that the janitor in that college in Ohio was cute, before he and Dean found out that the man was their target, to feel what he now felt for the being that had turned out to be not just the damn God of Mischief but also an archangel? He was sure he had even hated Gabriel for some time, during and after that messy affair with the time loop and the six months, now deleted from the timeline, he had spent hunting the trickster down. The other had tortured him without blinking, in the worst way possible, even if now, with a more objective mind, he understood that Gabriel hadn't been lying when he had stated that he was trying to help. In his twisted, fucked up, merciless way, he had really been.
Perhaps…Perhaps it had been then, during all those months spent chasing the archangel, looking for a vengeance that had turned into him begging Gabriel to bring Dean back, that his feelings for the trickster had starting to change. He had become obsessed not only with finding a way to get his brother back, but also with the being who had taken him away. He had come to know the other deeply, intimately in a way, even if he had remained unaware of the biggest secret his opponent of the time was hiding. He had wondered a few times if Gabriel had done it on purpose, if he had somehow wanted Sam to get so close to him, to understand the way his mind worked. It was another question that had stayed unanswered.
Finding out that Loki was an angel had somehow made things easier for him, or rather it would have if the shorter man hadn't got killed before Sam had a chance to work out what he really felt. Still, even after Gabriel's death, there hadn't been much time for introspection and mourning lost chances, not with Lucifer to take down and then the time he had spent in the Cage. On one hand, it had almost been better, because the hunter had subconsciously acknowledged and accepted that he had indeed romantic feelings for the late trickster and that had made it much easier for him to simply take in the fact once it had touched his consciousness. On the other, though, it hadn't allowed him to really deal with the matter, which shouldn't have mattered because Gabriel was dead. Or at least, that was what he had thought till a few days before.
The younger Winchester set the glass down in the sink. There wasn't really much he could do about the matter now, not till the archangel decided to come back and put him out of his misery, allowing him a chance to say all he needed to say and ask what he needed to ask. For the time being, all he could do was trying not to overthink everything and perhaps go back doing something more useful than just torment himself.
Sam let out a small groan. Of course, that was the theory, but putting it in practice wasn't that automatic. It was all much easier to be said than to be done.
xxx
Gabriel swung his legs a bit in the void that opened beyond the edge of the ravine, eyes lost in front of him. Finding a place that was quiet and far enough from most living beings hadn't been easy at all. He remembered how empty the world used to be when he had fist fled from Heaven, millennia before. Finding a bit of solitude was easy back then. Humans were nowhere as numerous as they were now and, moreover, he didn't really care about them most of the time. It was so easy to ignore them, even with all the prayers echoing in his ears, cursing Loki and asking for his guide, in some occasions even at the same time. He remembered the long hours spent wandering without aim in Freya's blooming gardens, at times reminiscing the good memories he had of Heaven, others fighting back the bad ones of the war and the Fall. He was still struggling to get used to his new role, to his new identity, but, despite those difficulties, the feeling of not being God's Messenger anymore was just so liberating that he didn't mind his inner conflict at all.
Now, after his miraculous resurrection, he was back wrestling with his own identity, this time to fit Gabriel back in Loki's shoes, without knowing how to really be himself again after a life time spent as someone else. The centuries had changed him, mixing and merging the trickster and the archangel, making them almost indistinguishable under certain points of view, but that didn't make things easier. He was torn between two worlds and didn't belong to any of them. Heaven wasn't the home he had left and he didn't really wish to go back, not after the messes that messes that his three older brothers had caused. It was time for the Host to learn to run itself, without an archangel dictating every action that had to be taken. However, not even Earth was the world for him anymore, as it had become for Loki, now that most of his fellow pagans knew whom he really was. So, what was left for him aside from chasing any chance to help and cause mischief at the same time, while he waited for his Grace to strengthen once again? What was life as an outcast?
Gabriel rolled his eyes at himself. He hated those existential questions with all his hurt and what annoyed him the most was that, until a few days before, those interrogatives hadn't been as pressing as they felt now. And they would have probably remained bearable if he hadn't run into a broken Sam Winchester while wandering around the woods. A part of him was glad, because without that chance meeting the hunter could have ended very badly, but another side was so pissed at the human because it had made a storm explode inside him.
He brought a hand down to his ribs. The internal bleeding had stopped at the end of day one, after Sam had got back to where he and Dean currently resided. Cozy place, a real home as the brothers hadn't had in a good while. The other, more superficial wounds had followed and then the bones, even if the ache was still there, after all that time. But after all his Grace had been almost completely drained again to heal firstly the human in the forest and then the most severe injuries that he had transferred on himself, so he wasn't going to complain for a bit of pain. He had had worse in his life and, besides, he could fly already, even if it was an effort, which was a small miracle.
During the very few days he had spent at the Bunker, the younger Winchester had been incredibly gentle and caring with him, even if he could see the scolding in every look he was addressed, mixed with uncertainty and gratitude. Sam was clearly a bit pissed himself, because of how much he had chosen to risk for his sake, but he was sure that what tormented the human the most, which was also one of Gabriel's main torments, was the sudden shift that their relationship had taken when he had saved the man.
The archangel frowned slightly, kicking his legs with more energy. He had been harbouring an interest in Sam since meeting one, even if it had all started as mere and simply physical attraction, which was his usual deal. Who could blame him? He had eyes and the guy was straight out gorgeous. And totally his type. Tall, handsome, smart. It hadn't helped that the younger hunter had turned out to be not just intelligent, but also fun, in his own dorky way, brave, strong and compassionate, heart that had bled so much already but that still had a lot to give and forgive.
He had seen all that while keeping the Winchesters trapped in the time loop and suddenly Sam was much more than a really good-looking guy who also happened to be Lucifer's true vessel. Broken but oh-so-bright soul, hazel eyes so filled, at the same, time with sorrow and hope that the archangel had found almost impossible to deny him whatever he asked from him. And then there was so much Gabriel could relate to in Sam's life. Perhaps even more than Lucifer and the younger Winchester had in common, which was something that had shocked him. He had always thought that the two hunters would have been the human alter egos of his oldest brothers, but instead, while Dean did share some similarities, but not so much if one looked closely, with Michael, Sam and the Morningstar had little in common. The younger man was more like Lucifer used to be before the Fall, before millennia of imprisonment in the dark twisted his being and turned him into the Devil they all knew now.
Before he knew it, the Trickster had found himself reconsidering his choices and lifestyle, his position in the Apocalypse and his oath to not ever get attached as he had in the past. He had found himself standing between Lucifer and humanity, blade in hand, fighting against the first when he had spent centuries dreading the idea of yet another war and dying for the latter. For those creatures that his Father had chosen over his celestial children, for the race of which Dean and Sam Winchester were extraordinary examples. And he had found himself being almost head over heels for a human who was supposed to mean nothing to him. He had known that life was weird, had always enjoyed the twists that it offered, but that had been almost too much, even for someone like him. After all, whenever his existence had been turned upside down, it hadn't ended well for him. The first time he had been forced to leave his home, then he had died, and who knew what was waiting ahead for him this time.
The archangel slowly moved his golden eyes upwards, towards the sky, taking in the deep blue that stretched, apparently endlessly, above him. What was he supposed to do? He had told Sam that he would go back, but he didn't know if he was ready to face the questions that waited ahead for him. He wasn't sure he wanted to deal with the consequences of the discovery he had made in that forest, when the human, among all the things he could have done, had kissed him hard, as if his life depended on it, revealing that Gabriel's affection was all but one-sided. Sam wasn't supposed to like him back. It was a possibility that had never crossed his mind and that, while made him insanely happy, complicated everything.
Gabriel scoffed, half irritated and half exasperated. Love was dangerous, hard to control and understand. Every time he had let himself feel it, first for his family and then for the only other being he had ever fell for before crossing paths with the younger hunter, it had ended in a tragedy. He didn't want to go through it again, and yet there was a voice in his head that kept nudging him, whispering that, if there was someone worth that risk, it was Sam Winchester. They both had gone through so much already, sacrificed so much and got nothing out of it. He had another chance now, at life, and perhaps it was the damn time to demand and take the reward he had never been given. And the same went for the hunter. If they could be both offered a bit of happiness, or even just a bit of comfort, and find it in each other, why not taking it? Wasting such an opportunity, no matter where it would lead, because he had been once again too afraid, would surely bring him an even bitter regret. He was tired of running away. It had worked for a while, but, in retrospect, he now saw that he hadn't accomplished anything with it.
"Fuck it," he muttered under his breath pushing himself up on his feet. After all, what did he have to lose? He didn't belong anywhere in that moment and, if he didn't do anything to change his fact, he might be stuck in that limbo for the rest of his existence, which threatened to be more or less for the rest of eternity. He had all to gain instead. Some peace of mind, a warmth he hadn't felt in centuries, even the chance to find somewhere else he belonged to. Not a place, not a role, but by someone's side. It might sound cheesy, but he decided that he didn't give a damn.
His wings ached when he spread them, but he ignored the tightness and the pain, together with the rush of weakness that followed them. He would heal, eventually. After all, it wasn't every day that you came back to life or escaped death. He wasn't even sure which of the two things had been, and if his being there once again had been the result of a huge stroke of luck, of a joke of the Fates or of divine intervention. His memories on the whole matter were confused and blurry. But that was an issue he would face another time. He had his hands full of something completely different right now and he had better deal with it before he changed his mind about it.
A few feathers spread in the air as he took off, small, intense, bright flashes of blue light that burnt away and disappeared before touching the ground, in silence that spread under the cloudless sky.
xxx
Sam was on his way back to the library when he almost slammed into a figure appeared out of thin air right in front of him. He managed to avoid it just because of the reflexes he had developed with years of training and hunting. Still, it didn't mean that he didn't get a scare out of him. The latter thing had to be clear from his expression, considering the smug smirk that had opened on his not so expected guest's face.
"Damn, Gabriel," he breathed out, bringing a hand to his chest. He had been on his way back to the library, after having spent some time in the kitchen, mostly temporising, before he had finally managed to persuade himself to head back and get some work done. "Are you trying to give a heart attack?"
"Hiya, Sammich," the archangel greeted, lifting a hand, amused grin still firmly in place. He then shook his head. "Now, that would be counterproductive, considering what I've done to keep you alive. Don't you agree?"
The younger Winchester mastered up a glare, even if he could already feel the nervousness growing inside him. Till a few minutes ago he had been hoping that the Trickster would show up soon, but now that the other was in front of him he wasn't so eager anymore. Still, the subject had been introduced, even if through what was supposed to be a joke, and he couldn't waste his chance. He couldn't know when Gabriel would decide to take off again and if he would come back. So, he took his courage in both hands and decided not to hesitate, not even for a moment.
"Please, don't. That's not funny. Like, at all. You could have died!" He pointed out, voice bearing a mixture of irritation, concern and relief. "I…What you did was a dangerous hazard. And a stupid one. In your state, with your powers so low, you could have…" He ran a hand in his hair, hating how he was already stuttering. "Why? Why did you risk so much? We haven't seen each other in years. I thought you were…gone for good. And then you show up, put up a stunt like that and disappear before we can even have a proper talk."
The archangel let the hunter talk, not interrupting not even when it was clear that the human was struggling to get the words out. He knew that Sam would need to say his piece and, besides, he hoped to grasp the direction in which the other wanted to lead the conversation. Bringing the kisses up when perhaps the taller man just wanted to dismiss the episode as the craziness of the moment or as something he didn't wish, for whatever reason, to see becoming real was something he wanted to avoid. It would spare him humiliation and possibly a bit of heartbreak.
"I can take care of myself, kiddo. And I can manage myself. I think I'm old enough for that, aren't I?" He shot back, a hint of sarcasm in his tone, but his expression stayed neutral this time. Perhaps his words had been a bit too harsh, but they were true for the most. He had known the risks when he had chosen to use his trickster magic to help Sam and he had accepted them, even the knowledge that such a choice could have killed him or damage him irreparably. He had been careful to dose his strength too, but he couldn't deny that his had been a reckless move. "And about what you wanted to have that proper talk?"
The younger Winchester looked a bit dejected at the answer he got, but didn't let the words dishearten him. Gabriel was minimizing what had happened most likely not to fully exposed his vulnerability. He could understand it, his brothers did it all the time. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism, but at times it was necessary, especially when you had both a reputation to defend and weren't ready to face the real state of things yourself.
"You might be ancient, but honestly at times you've the decision-making ability of a child," he answered, crossing his arms in turn. He didn't mean to insult, but the Trickster's statement was just begging for a proper comeback. Then he sighed and his shoulders slumped a bit. "About the fact that you were supposed to be dead, first of all. How long have you been around? And why haven't you come to us earlier? We…We could have helped you. I mean, you saved us last time, helped us stopping the Apocalypse and…We could have used a bit of guidance, honestly. It's been…hard, lately." He dropped his eyes. "Then there's all your sudden eagerness to die again. That's…I don't like it. And then the…uh, you know." A hint of colour appeared on the hunter's cheeks, telling what his words weren't. "What happened in the woods."
Gabriel rolled his eyes at the human's first statement. He should have expected an answer along those lines, but he kept forgetting how low the Winchesters' conservation instinct was. No one in their right mind would have insulted an archangel, more or less intentionally, even if said archangel seemed to be on their side.
"I might be childish, but I can assure you that I knew what I was doing. I was aware of the consequences. And, before you ask, I don't have a death wish, which answers to your second point. One time was enough," he huffed out, actually sounding a bit offended, but his voice turned serious almost immediately. "Now, how am I alive? I told you already. No clue. I'm still trying to work that one out. I'm not even sure of when I exactly came back. Somewhere around the time the Leviathans were already going around the world. Cassie's doing, from what I grasped." He waited for a small nod of confirmation, before going on. "As for the why I haven't showed up…Well, let's say that I was pretty much useless when I took conscience of myself again. I could hardly walk and my mind was…in pieces. Literally. All I had were two names and fragmented memories. It took a while to get things back in order in here." He tapped his temple. "So, I'd have been just another problem for you kids and you already had your hands full."
Sam felt a deep hint of sadness as he listened to what the archangel had gone through after his mysterious resurrection. What he was still going through. Not being able to remember who you were, having not idea of what you were supposed to do, being so utterly lost, stuck between a past that didn't sound familiar and a present that was even more confusing. It had to have been horrible. However, that just made him feel like standing his ground even more.
"That's one more reason why you should have come. We could have face it together. You…You didn't have to go through it alone. And even if we had other problems, we…I would have found the time," he stated with forced, barely resisting the urge to step forward and hug the shorter man as he had done in the forest. He knew he couldn't though. They still needed to clear a few key issues before he could know whether or not that kind of contact was welcome. Rejection sounded like an incredibly bad thing, especially now that he was unavoidably filled with hopes and longing. "We owed you, Gabriel. Still do."
"Sam." The name left the Trickster's lips more as a sigh than a real word. The factors involved in his decision to stay away until he had regained a bit more of power and self-awareness had been more than his faulty memory and his physical weakness. "You're wrong. It was something I had to do on my own. I…I've done a lot of things in my life. Mostly terrible ones. For the most, I don't regret a single thing, but there have been some times I went too far, some mistakes I needed to atone for. Redemption is hardly a group activity. I think you understand this."
It was the archangel's turn to drop his eyes. He wasn't feeling exactly ashamed of his confession, but he wasn't used to be so open with someone. It had been too much since the last time he had had occasion to let the truth out without veils of lies and tricks to protect himself. It made him feel even more exposed than he already was with his weakened Grace.
"I'm still not done, I'm nowhere close to be done," he went on after a moment of hesitation that he used to steady himself. "But I've started to work on it, so I felt allowed to come out from hiding. Honestly, if I hadn't run into you the other night, it would have been a good while before you kids would have heard from me again. Which brings me back to your other questions." He waved a hand. "Among the things I've been trying to do to give this…second chance of mine, if it can be called like that, there's helping people who need it, instead of just tormenting the assholes. I still do that, because I can't really discard what I've been for millennia just like that, but I've been doing some more…angelic things too, together with my usual trickster business." He offered a small grin, but it faded away quickly. "And that's what drew me to you. I felt that someone was in an awful amount of pain and ran to help. Turns out it was you. So, I didn't track you down to randomly try to sacrifice my life to save yours, as you see."
"You still risked it, though," Sam pointed out, deciding not to speak his disagreement on what the archangel had said before. He could tell that Gabriel wasn't ready to talk about it yet and, besides, it was true that he understood it. He knew what it meant struggling to get something right in the attempt to make up for the mistakes and the sorrow you had spread in the past. He was still working hard to make up for all the messes he had made during the Apocalypse, when he was so blinded by revenge that he had ended up trusting a demon and freeing the Devil just because he couldn't let a grudge go. In that case, the cruel lesson that the Trickster had tried to teach him had been completely wasted and, in retrospect, he felt ashamed for how blind he had been.
"I did," Gabriel admitted, a hint of gratefulness for the fact that the hunter hadn't pressed on the issue of his choice to stay away. He had been afraid that the human would have tried to argue more, making that talk even harder than it should have been, but deep down he knew that the taller man would have understood. It was one of the traits their pasts shared after all. Running away from a situation that had become unbearable, trying to build a new life for themselves just to have their old one come back and haunt them. Making mistake after mistake while trying to do the right thing. And then being left to deal with the aftermath, to make amends that would never be really enough. Sam knew how it felt and that brought them incredibly close to each other.
"That's pretty much established. Which brings me to the third…issue you pointed out earlier. The real reason why I decided to risk that much." A new grin opened on his face and this time stayed, not devoid of a hint of mischief. "Namely the very warm, enthusiastic welcome you offered me. You caught me off guard, and that doesn't happen often, kid. Be proud of yourself." He took a step forward, closing the distance that was still separating them. They weren't touching, but their bodies would be brushing if one of them had moved just an inch forward. He shrugged, trying to play it nonchalantly, but he could feel his vessel's hear hammering under the semblance of calm and casualness he had put on. "I wouldn't mind if you were to greet me like that all the time. I'd be definitely happy if it didn't stop to just some clumsy kissing too. If you get my hint."
The younger Winchester's face flushed once again at the meaningful waggling of eyebrows that accompanied the Trickster's last sentence. The redness wasn't just out of embarrassment, though. He felt relieved and definitely happy to see that, apparently, he and Gabriel were more or less on the same page at least on that matter. The attraction was mutual and the caring too, even if the archangel hadn't admitted the second openly. However the fact that the other had been ready to give his life for him and to take his sufferance upon himself spoke quite clearly. Now, what was left to understand was if they really wanted the same thing.
"So, should I take it as an admission that you like me? And aren't you rushing a bit too much, now?" He asked, almost jokingly, wanting to test the water. "I'm not that easy, you know? I'm more the serious relationship kind of guy. Hook-ups and casual sex are more Dean's thing."
Gabriel chuckled. "Yeah, I like you, Sammy. And casual is more my usual thing too. But I think that I could work with your thing, for this time," he answered, with the same light tone Sam had used and felt a rush of warmth when the hunter beamed at him in response. Damn, and he had thought that the human couldn't get more handsome. His face was starting to feel hot too, which meant that perhaps Sam wasn't the only blushing anymore. "Even if you'll have to be patient with me. But I promise that I'll eventually come around."
Sam nodded, still fulling smiling. "I don't mind waiting," he claimed, voice serious despite the way in which his hazel eyes were shining. He reached out, daring to brush Gabriel's hand with his. He still felt unsure about how they should go around their still adjusting relationship, but now he didn't mind anymore. How could he, knowing for sure that not only the archangel felt for him, but that he was willing to give them a real chance. "There's a lot we need to figure out, and there's Dean, and…many other things, but…We'll cross those bridges when they come. I'm…I'm just glad that you're here and with me." His expression sobered up for a moment. "Just, don't ever pull something like that again. You can't just get yourself killed again, especially not that we…" He hesitated a moment, trying to find the right words. "That we've started to build something." His tone almost became sad. "I've lost too many people already. Don't make me add your name to that list. Again."
Gabriel's fingers let go of the cloth of his own jacket and wrapped around them human's squeezing tightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Samsquatch. I can't promise that I won't try to protect you again, because I'm always going to do that, no matter the cost. But I can promise that getting rid of me is hard and now that you're stuck with my fabulous self, you've got no way out." His voice was still amused, but the look in his golden eyes showed that he meant every word. "As I said, I like you, Sam. I have for quite some time. No way I'm letting you go, if I can have you."
The hint of sternness in the hunter's expression melted away at those words. There was a sentiment that he wanted to voice, one that was pressing to get out of his lips, deep and truthful and really felt, but he swallowed it back. It was too soon and it might have sounded rushed, even if he was sure that he would have meant the words, had he spoken them.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," he said instead, intertwining his hand with Gabriel. "Call me crazy, but I've liked you for a while too, even if it had taken me some time to realise it. And it's your fault too. You've always been incredibly confused with your ambiguous signals."
The Trickster's eyes sparked with mirth. "Ever heard of pulling pigtails, Sammich?" He asked with a small smirk. "We did say that I act like a child at times, didn't we?" He laughed at the eyeroll he got in response to those words, but then he tugged the hand he was holding, pulling Sam forward until they bumped into each other. He pushed himself up on his tiptoes, leaning in. "But if you really want something more straightforward, perhaps I can comply…"
The hunter felt hypnotised as his hazel eyes met those deep, inhumanly golden orbs, finding that he couldn't look away. He bent forward instinctively as Gabriel purred the last sentence, lips already parting and breath hitching in anticipation. His heart skipped a bit as the archangel's breath teased his mouth, brushing it but not concluding, and he had been about to tell the shorter man to stop fooling around when, finally, a hand was clasped behind them and he was brought down, his lips meeting eager hungry ones.
Gabriel didn't waste one more moment, pushing his tongue inside the human's waiting mouth and letting him suck on it as if nothing mattered more than that kiss in the whole universe. And, all considered, it was exactly like that. In that moment, just the two of them mattered, with their feelings still unspoken, but filled with promises that one day, soon, would have seen the light. For now, it just felt good, it felt right and that was more than enough.
He was aware that, once that moment would have been broken, they would have a lot to do. As Sam had pointed out, there was Dean to deal with. Also, since he would stick around, for real this time, he would also have to find out what exactly Castiel was up to because he knew that there was something off, something involving Heaven that needed to be stopped before it got out of end. Then, just as important as those issues, he and the younger Winchester would have to define their relationship a bit better, decide where to go from there.
However, those were matters to be dealt later on. Right now, he was much more interested in the distracting way Sam's hands were caressing his back, fingers tracing his spine and playing with the hem of his shirt, while he crowded the slightly breathless man against the closest wall, pressing their bodies together tightly. It was amazing how well they fitted together, despite the height difference. It seemed almost as if they were supposed to meet and touch like that. And they were just getting started, because Gabriel had been deadly serious when he had joked around getting more than a few kisses.
Their eyes met, breaking the endless, passionate, mutual chasing of their mouths for a moment, and it was pretty clear to them both that they were sharing the same thoughts. All they needed now was to cling to that warmth, to that sense of belonging they were sharing. The rest could wait.
