While working on the last few chapters of No Laughter For His Medicine, I had a traumatic experience. This is going to be ridiculously stupid, but it's in my brain. It's completely AU in the Castleverse, but totally true in my 'verse. Don't mind me...


Castle was sitting on the bed with his laptop open trying to find some inspiration for his next chapter when all of a sudden he heard one of the most blood curdling screams he's ever heard in his entire life.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! CASTLE, HEEELLLPPPPP!"

Tossing his laptop to the side, he sprung up and ran towards the bathroom where Kate was taking a bath. As he flung open the bathroom door, he saw Kate huddled in the corner of the tub with a towel wrapped around her looking absolutely petrified. "Beckett! What's wrong?!"

All she did was point to the corner not saying a word, but letting out a little bit of a whimper.

"Kate I don't see anything."

"Castle! How can you miss it?!"

"Wow that's huge! Ok, hold on, let me get something to kill it."

Grabbing his arm and holding on for dear life, Kate yelled out, "NO! You can't leave me in here alone with that...that...that...that...thing! I'm pretty sure it has wings and fangs! I think it hissed, too. I swear it's going to attack me!"

Looking over at Kate, then back to the alleged "killer" bug, Castle couldn't help but laugh. "Kate, it's not going to eat you. You're like 800 times it's size. It probably came up through the pipes from all of the construction on the street. Let me go get something to kill it. I'll be right back."

"Gun. Get my gun. That'll kill it."

"Um, I was actually thinking just some bug spray. You know, to avoid putting a giant hole in the floor."

"AAAAAHHHHH! Castle it's moving! Hurry up and kill it!"

"I can't because someone won't let me get the bug spray."

"Step on it. Throw a book at it. Drop a box on it. I don't care how you do it, just kill the sucker already!"

"You do realize that I can't do any of those things until you let go of your death grip on me, right?"

"Fine. Just hurry back."

Castle left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen to get the bug spray. He always had a can handy any time they did construction in the neighborhood. He laughed when he realized his fearless detective fiancé was huddled in the corner of the bathtub scared of a little bug. Oh if she weren't in a towel, he would so be recording this to show everyone. He thought about grabbing his phone when he heard her scream again.

"CAAAASSSTTLLLLLEEEE! It's moving again!"

"Ok, ok, I'm coming," he said as he rushed back into the bathroom. "Who knew you'd be so afraid of a bug. Even I'm not that freaked out about it."

"Just. Kill. It."

Castle held his breath as he began to douse said "killer" bug with the spray. He's pretty sure he heard Kate, who was still huddled in the corner of the bathtub, say something along the lines of 'die you evil fucker!', but he wasn't sure. Making sure it was really dead, he waited a second before picking it up to flush it down the toilet. "There. Are you happy now? The winged, fanged, hissing, attack bug of death is now gone. You can come out now."

Still completely freaked out, Kate jumped out of the bathtub and ran straight into the bedroom leaving Castle to finish cleaning up the remnants of the bug spray. She quickly put on some pj's and wrapped the sheets around her body almost sealing herself up like a giant burrito. She was taking no chances tonight.

Seeing Kate all wrapped up, Castle absolutely lost it. "What the heck? Kate...it's gone. I killed it with spray and flushed it away. There's no way it's coming back from that."

"You don't know that, Castle! You don't know if it has friends waiting!"

"Friends?!" He was now crying from how hard he was laughing. He could just picture the headlines in the newspaper. 'Writer and Fiancé attacked by revenge seeking bugs.'

"You think this is funny, don't you? I'm glad I was able to amuse you this evening, Castle. I'm going to sleep now." Kate rolled her burrito-self over so that her back was now facing Castle.

"Beckett, no! I'm sorry. No, really I am. I didn't mean to make fun of you." He tried to roll her over to face him, but she wouldn't budge. "Please, Kate. I'm really sorry."

"Whatever, Castle. I'm going to sleep."

Looking down at the mass of blankets on the bed, he knew she wasn't going to talk to him for the rest of the night. Letting out a big sigh, he grabbed his laptop and headed towards the study to see if he could get some writing done. As he opened the laptop, he couldn't help but replay the last few minutes over in his head. "Oh, she is so going to kill me for this," he thought to himself as his fingers began flying over the keys.

After a few minutes, he read what he had just typed up. "Yup. Definitely gonna pay for this one." He continued on for the rest of the night typing away until he just couldn't keep his eyes open. As usual, he fell asleep at his desk, laptop open and a new chapter complete.


Just as Rook was putting the fishing touches on an article, he heard one of the most blood curdling screams he's ever heard in his entire life.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! ROOK, HEEELLLPPPPP!"


And that's it. That is the tale of the bug attacking me...um, Kate. Yes I know it's OOC and Castle would probably be more scared of the bug than Beckett, but I needed to get something out. Hopefully this stupid story clears out my brain so that I can finish No Laughter For His Medicine. If you haven't checked it out, give it a read. It was my first and I'm pretty proud of it.

If you're still reading this, thanks!