Useless. Ugly. Stupid. Killer. Some of the adjectives I would use to describe myself. My soft and friendly exterior hid the monster I knew I was, the terrible person no one would come to love the same way my parents loved me.
My golden eyes looked over my figure as I stood in the bathroom staring myself down in the mirror.
I became the thing I hated most.
Lifelessly staring at my figure, my mind zoned out and began to draw a blank. The endless black abyss slowly ebbed my self-pity and hatred away with the sullen tranquility of absolutely nothing. I was numb at this point, dazed, indifferent...suddenly nothing mattered and I was an emotionless mass. Standing still in front of a reflection that I soon began to not recognise or pay much attention to.
I slowly sulked into my bedroom which was adjacent to my bathroom. Flopping onto my plush bed I can feel the medications pervade my body from the inside out, my demeanor now that of a robot of some sort.
Laying on my back, my arms were spread out and I stared endlessly at the alabaster ceiling above me.
Kakashi Hatake
The silver haired man stood silent behind the counter at the book store, holding a novel he recently purchased in hand. The title read, "Don't Let Them See."
The book touched the topic of depression, but the focus of this story was that of a young girl struggling with self-harm and anxiety. The book really swayed him, reminding him of the ominous and inexplicable flashbacks he experienced as a young child after taking the life of one of his friends.
"Slowly the girl brought the blade to her pale wrists, carving deep lines into the creamy surface of her skin. The stinging and burning feeling made her forget of all the emotional wounds she was adorning. The anxiety and worries of never being good enough washed away with the crimson fluid that dripped from her wrist..."
Kakashi's attention was torn from his book as he noticed a short brunette walk up, her golden eyes instantly told him who she was.
"Dominique..." He said quietly before his lips formed a soft and sweet smile behind the white hospital mask that adorned his face. The contents of what lay behind the small fabric remain a mystery of the world still.
"Kakashi..." she said before showing a small smile, one that implemented she wasn't actually happy or content. This smile though grew to be one she wore around most.
Dominique slowly placed the book she grabbed on the check-out counter and looked at Kakashi, her eyes lacking any real enthusiasm in her attempt to appear happy.
Glancing down at the title Kakashi paused.
"Goodbye My Love."
Dominique watched him ring her book up, noticing him staring down the title, doing exactly what she was hoping he would do. She didn't plan to explicitly tell him her arrangement but wanted him to know...this would be the last time he saw her.
"Dominique...I want you to wait for me. I get out of work here at 5. I'll see you then okay?" He asked as he slowly slid the book into the bag and handed it to her. "Promise me. Promise me you'll wait for me." he said, exaggerating the first phrase.
Of course Kakashi didn't know the girl's full intentions, but he had a rough idea leaving him a bit anxious and vexatious.
Dominique grabbed the bag from him, her small and soft hand brushing against his before she sighed.
"I promise." she said quietly before turning and leaving.
Kakashi stood and watched as the girl left, his heart aching. They weren't all that close though the bond and feelings they had for one another were obvious. Kakashi stood and continued reading.
"Softly sobbing, the girl walked over to the bathtub, turning the knobs to draw herself a hot bath.
As her wrist continued bleeding, she grabbed a pen and paper leaving a note for someone special,
a person she held dear to her knowing he would come to check-in on her."
It must have hit him like a bag of bricks cause it only took Kakashi a few seconds to realise what would happen if he didn't rush after her. "Hang in there Dominique, I'm coming baby." he whispered before he dropped his book. He rushed into the back of the store to let his manager know what was happening.
Dominique Maggio
Arriving home, I wasted no time in grabbing a paper in pencil, wanting to use these to scribble my last thoughts and emotions, leaving nothing behind but a small note of my true feelings I had yet to share with the world -or anyone else for that matter-. This was my goodbye.
"As I write this, I'm sure you're already on your way over...you've always had good ingenuity Kakashi. I wanted to say that though we haven't talked much or don't know all too much about one another on a personal basis, I'd like to let you know that I have, oddly enough, fallen in love with you. By the time you get here it will have been too late and for that I apologise. If only you could understand the endless feeling of self-hatred and disgust I must live with every waking day this would be a bit more...expected. Anyway, I hope you live on to find a woman to love and protect. Build a family to love and nurture like no other. This is my goodbye to you, Kakashi Hatake. I love you and hope for the best in your life and future. Think of it this way, now you will have an angel to watch over you and guide you when you're in times of need. -Dominique Maggio"
I looked over the letter I wrote out and felt tears prickle at my golden orbs, my eyelids slowly closing preventing any tear from falling. Placing the folded note on the surface of my bed I paused a moment as my mind began to race, my entire life recapping in mere moments. I slowly sauntered over to my closet where noose hung, a firm metal pole connected one side of my closet to the other, specifically existent for this very moment...the day I finally take my own life. Walking in, I gently take hold of the rope and bring it down, the loop a bit too high for me to slip my head into without the small wooden stool.
Reaching into the corner I grab a small rectangular tool setting it under the hanging rope before I slowly stood up upon the small surface area, my toes curling over the edge slightly as adrenaline seemed to course through my body. I grabbed the rope and slipped it around my neck before adjusting it correctly. My eyes closed and in that moment Kakashi Hatake burst through the door. His dark eyes gleamed as he saw me before wooden stool was kicked away, I fell. Leaving nothing but a small trail of shallow prints upon the crust of this godforsaken earth...
Goodbye
