"Alright Mr. Egbert, enjoy your books!"
John walked out of the library, excited to start reading. He checked out a biography on Nicholas Cage and an encyclopedia of lame movies he seemed to like for some reason.
John drove home, his lame books the only thing on his mind. He couldn't wait to read them, even though he already knew all about Nick Cage and the lame movies.
He arrived and stepped into his house. "I'm home," he screamed so his dad would know, then went upstairs to his room. He opened the biography, overjoyed to read all about the life of Nick Cage and his legacy and how he rose to stardom.
But there was a distraction. Inside the first page, there was a post-it. Huh? John thought. He lifted the note and read it.
Dear hopefully cute reader,
Since you appreci8 this gr8 man, we 8oth already have something in common.
888-8888 33333333 :::;)
"Wha-" John didn't know what to make of this note. The girl who left this (He really hoped she was a girl) seemed worth calling. She had nice handwriting, and was probably really cute and funny, and oh no he should stop imagining. He had to admit though, he really wanted to text her. But he didn't know the first thing to say. He thought he'd figure sometching out.
John picked up his phone and started a new text message. But what would he say! He thought a for a while, typed some messages, then erased then and started over. Eventually he typed up:
hey, i saw your number in a nick cage book. wanna talk?
He sent his message and waited for a response. He stared at his phone for five minutes, waiting to see who the mystery girl (person) was. After that, he couldn't take just waiting, and needed a distraction. And what better distraction than his biography on the legendary Nicholas Cage.
John was reading the third page when he heard his phone ring. He picked it up, hoping it would be the mystery girl. Instead it was his best friend Dave. And while he always liked talking to Dave, he really wanted his mystery girl to text him. Still, talking to Dave couldn't hurt. Maybe he'd be a distraction while he waited.
John picked up the phone and heard, "Hey bro, you'll never guess what just happened."
He answered saying, "What happened?
"No dude, you have to guess. That's, like, the whole point! You can't just not guess. You're ruining this Egbert!"
"Sorry, alright," John chuckled, "Um, did your house catch on fire?"
"Nope"
"Did you get a cat?"
"You know, you're terrible at this game."
"Ok, so we learned I can't guess worth shit. Now what happened?"
In the most serious voice he could muster, Dave said, "I'm pregnant. And it's yours."
John laughed, then responded "No, no you're not."
"Yeah, I'm not."
"Ok, so what really happened then?"
"Some little punk said I wasn't cool."
"What?"
"You heard me! This little punk thinks he's so cool. I'm the coolest there is."
"Yeah!"
"So, anyway, besides that punk, nothing's really happened with me," Dave sighed, "What about you though? Anything noteworthy happen lately?"
John thought about his mystery girl and replied, "Actually, yes."
"Woah, that's a first."
"Oh, shut up. So, you wanna know or what?"
"Yeah, yeah, I need to know what my homie's up to, and all."
"Ok," John said slowly, "Well, I got a girl's number. Kinda."
"Wait what? How?"
"Well," John told him, "I this biography of Nick Cage from the library."
"Right, yeah, what does that have to do with the girl?"
"I'm getting to that. Just let me finish my story. It'll be your turn in a second. Ok, so I got the book. And inside one of the pages is a post-it. And it has a number and is covered in hearts. And she has nice handwriting. And I'm thinking, hey, why not? So I texted her."
"That. Is the. Lamest. Story. Ever! So you don't even know who she is or anything?"
"Nope."
"And yet, you have a crush on her already."
"What? No, of course not."
"You have a dorky smile on your face just thinking about her, don't you?"
John went silent for a bit, than said, "Shut up."
"See? Well, I'm gonna let you deal with that one by yourself. Good luck buddy"
"Yeah, thanks."
John hung up and went back to his book as he waited for his reply to come. After a few more pages, his phone buzzed. He picked it up and read:
Rose: I have been informed that you have come across a girl's number
Rose: And I just want to let you know
Rose: That you shouldn't get your hopes up too much
Rose: You don't even know who she is
John: dave told you
John: why am i not surprised
John: look, i know that i don't know who this is
John: i know that
John: so don't waste your time
Rose: I just wanted to make sure you were aware that she may not be what she seems
Rose: And that I want you to be careful
John: don't worry, i will
John: now go back to knitting or whatever you where doing before you texted me.
John sighed. Everyone was so worried about this. But they shouldn't be. She was probably perfect. And if not, well he would deal with it. But he was sure she was probably perfect. She liked nick cage, and how much better could a girl get?
John figured there wasn't much use trying to read, because now his mind was filled with only this mystery girl. Who was she? What did she look like? Would she like him? Was she nice? What else did she like? And unless she texted him back, he wouldn't know.
John walked into the kitchen and got some gushers. He ate them, and tried to think of stuff other than this girl. But he just couldn't. He texted her an hour and a half ago. She had to reply soon. She just had to.
John went back to his room and stared at his phone some more. After 15 minutes, it rang. Heart racing, he accepted the call.
"Hey! I didn't really expect anybody to see that note." The girl on the line had a heavenly voice.
It was a girl! And she wanted to talk! John was so happy he could barely think of anything to say back. But he had to. "Hi," he, quieter than he meant to.
"So," the girl asked, "what's your name?"
"John. What about you? What's your name?"
"It's Marquise Spinneret Mindfang."
"Really? That's your name?"
"Of course," he heard her chuckling.
"Ok, well that's a mouthful. How about I just call you Marquise."
"No, that's the title! That's like calling your teacher Mrs."
"Oh, well then Spinneret."
"Yes. So John, what else do you like, besides Nick Cage?"
"Oh, well I like pranks and magic and movies everyone thinks are lame. What about you? What do you like?"
"I like Flarping."
"What's that?" John asked.
"It's like role playing, but way better," she answered.
"Oh, that sounds cool."
"I also like spiders."
"Oh, that's cool!"
They talked for a while about a bunch of different things. Eventually John learned that the girl's name was Vriska, and not Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. He thought Vriska was pretty cool. And he wanted to talk to her more. John learned that she lived on the same street as him.
John loved talking to Vriska. And after there conversation had started to dull down, John said, "Hey Vriska? Would it be out of line to ask you out sometime?"
"Not at all!"
