A/N – So, I've had a couple of stalled plot bunnies for a while. It was my intention to never post a WIP again after Volturi B&B took much longer than I intended to complete. However, I realized I had to give myself some stakes to keep myself motivated. Please consider these heart-felt, honest warnings:
Warning #1: If you can't deal with infrequent updates or works-in-progress in general, please close this story now and walk away. I don't want to upset anyone, and will mark this story complete when I get there.
Warning #2: This story is AU-Canon with a Bella and Carlisle pairing. If this is not your cup of tea, close the story now and forget it exists.
Chapter One
As I entered the coffee shop, the first set of eyes I met were the cold dark ones belonging to the mounted deer head on the wall. The same ones that had watched over the long Formica counter for over twenty years. I tipped my hat in friendly greeting to my old friend after making sure humans were currently distracted in conversation. He and I had engaged in many silent conversations over the hundreds of times I had visited the diner, almost every day for the past two years and the same several decades before.
I imagined this deer had lived a life that was similar to mine. We were both in our current, bloodless, lifeless, state due to an unexpected attack. We both wondered what meaning we could assign to our fates. We both watched over the humans of Forks the best we could, and we both worried about our sons who had left us to explore the world on their own.
Of course, the life of my antlered confidant had also included a mate before his child was born. The unpleasant bitterness of my jealousy helped ease the guilt I felt when I considered that if I had met the deer, or his fawn while they were living, they could have ended up being my meal, as opposed to my friends. At least they would have had companionship with like-creatures while they lived. If they had lost a member of their family, their grief would have lasted only a few years at most.
I was not so fortunate.
My Edward had been my only companion, the only soul I'd truly loved, and still loved. And, he had been gone seventy-eight years, four months, ten days, four hours, and (I glanced at the clock opposite the deer's head) twenty-eight minutes, forty-one seconds.
"That's a long time not to be with your child," Cora, the waitress said in a sympathetic tone.
If my heart had been beating, the shock would have stopped it. I turned away from the glass eyes of the deer head, expecting to see the woman speaking to me. I let out a slow breath when I realized she was actually talking to Charlie Swan, the town's chief of police.
Charlie was sitting on his usual stool, about three feet down the counter. He grumbled, but the ever-present and familiar expression of loss I was used to seeing on his face was replaced by a wide smile under his thick mustache.
"I hope she likes what we did with her room," he replied, avoiding Cora's implied invitation to talk about his feelings. "Sue Clearwater helped me pick out a new bedspread. It's purple, because that's Isabella's favorite color."
Cora smiled and was about to say more, when she glanced up to see me waiting at the counter. Blood drained from her cheeks, though most humans wouldn't notice on her cocoa-colored skin. I smiled warmly to keep the secret of how frightened she had become, not wanting to embarrass herself or draw the chief's attention.
"Dr. Cullen," she said, her voice wavering a bit. "You want the usual?"
"Yes, please, Cora," I replied politely. "To go, of course."
"Of course," she nodded and hurried away to give the order of my usual breakfast sandwich to the cook. This would take longer than usual, because I could smell the mixture of tobacco and fresh air coming from the back door, signifying he had stepped outside to have a smoke. Even though Cora would be anxious to get me on my way, there was no rushing a nicotine addicted short-order cook.
And so the two most private men in this tiny town were left alone. Surprisingly, it wasn't me who first broke the awkward silence.
"I'm heading down to Port Angeles," Charlie Swan's voice was half a decibel louder than he usually spoke. I wondered if it was because he couldn't hide his excitement, or if he was trying to make up for the few feet of space between us. "Isabella's flying in from Phoenix today."
I returned his warm smile, answering with a light teasing tone "Is that today?"
Charlie nodded, his eyes shining. He gestured to the empty stool beside him, and I took his invitation to sit, though I usually just stood to wait for my breakfast order.
"I'm so happy for you, Chief," I told him with complete sincerity.
"Thanks, doc," he answered. But, his smile slowly fell. "I just hope she'll like it here. Forks is pretty different from Phoenix, and she hasn't been back for years. The last few times I've seen her, we went on vacation to places that were a little sunnier."
It warmed my dead heart to have his confidence. Though I believed Charlie accepted me more fully than most of the humans around town, he didn't share his feelings often. Most of our conversations were business related such as when my work at the hospital intersected with law enforcement. I realized then that he might regard me as I did him, a man with a common purpose, even if he didn't know my true motivation.
"You said it was her idea to come live with you, didn't you?" I offered.
Charlie nodded, but the reminder didn't seem to ease his worries. The lines around his eyes deepened as his lips pulled into a straight line. "It was her idea, but to be honest, I'm not sure if she's doing it for herself or to make Renee and me happy. Isabella didn't mention it, but I know she's giving up a lot to come here."
"Like what," I prompted, relishing in the connection Charlie was offering with the insight into not just his life, but his daughter's. "Is she leaving a lot of friends?" I considered the possible sacrifices of a teenage girl in the early twenty-first century. "A boyfriend?"
Charlie scowled deeply at this idea. "Thankfully, no," he grumbled. "Renee's always complaining about how Isabella doesn't seem interested in dating. I can't say I mind that very much."
I laughed before I could stop myself, but when Charlie's scowled deepened, and he gazed at me sharply, I sobered.
"Sorry," I said, meaning it. "I obviously don't know what it's like to have a teenaged girl to worry about." The memory of Edward politely declining the advances of one of the female vampires we had met while traveling together flashed in my mind, but I blinked it away.
"Consider yourself very fortunate on that front," Charlie grumbled. "If Bella were more like Renee and less like me, I'd be worried about the friends and…" he gulped before continuing in a tone that sounded like the word left a horrible bitter taste in his mouth, "boys."
"So, what are you worried about her giving up?" I asked.
Charlie shrugged, looking down at his coffee and not at me. "She had a lot more academic opportunities at her high school than she'll probably have here. And she really liked her job at the library. I already asked, and the North Olympic Library doesn't have any part-time openings."
"I thought they were always looking for volunteers?" I asked, wishing that the cook who was now preparing my egg sandwich would take more time.
"They are looking for volunteers," Charlie answered, emphasizing the last word. "But Isabella wants to find a paying job so she can save for college. I told her she doesn't need to worry about that, but she's smart enough to know that Renee and I don't have a lot of money to help her with that. She'll probably end up working some job she'll hate at Newton Outfitters because that's the only place hiring nearby."
My silent heart ached for this father's plight. Though I had no doubt he'd sacrifice anything for his daughter's happiness, some things were out of a parents control.
"Maybe something else will turn up," I offered, my mind going in a million directions, one of which was noticing the sounds of waxed paper being wrapped around the egg sandwich I would never eat.
Cora re-entered the dining room and Charlie's worried expression quickly transformed into a passing imitation of the glowing happy smile he had worn when she left. I slipped into my part as I slid off the stool and walked back to the cash register. I was courteous but reserved as I handed over the money, careful not to make skin contact.
I could hear her breath of relief as I began to push open the door to leave. But a moment later, we both stopped as I turned back and once again sat on the stool next to Charlie.
He turned his head, eyebrows raised in silent question.
I cleared my throat and fidgeted, the nervous affectations coming naturally after centuries of practice. "I was just thinking, Charlie," I started. "There may be a job at the hospital your daughter might enjoy more than working at Newton Outfitters."
~One week later~
The awkward footsteps I heard squeaking down the linoleum floor stopped outside my office. I turned away from the Hassan painting I'd been staring at for the last hour and started to get up from my desk.
I was just about to put my hand on the doorknob when I realized that the young woman now standing outside still hadn't knocked.
I could hear her whispering to herself through the layers of plywood and paint that secured the privacy of my office.
"You made it, it's okay. There's no blood here, it's an office, not an ER. You can do this. You won't have to smell any blood." She chanted.
I allowed myself a small laugh, well below human hearing. It was rather cute listening to Isabella Swan's private pep talk. Charlie had warned me that his daughter had spent a good deal of time in hospitals as she was severely accident prone. Yet, her greatest fear was blood, and it had taken many assurances that the research job I was offering would keep her well away from any red fluids that would make her queasy.
Then I realized there was something odd about one of her statements. She had assured herself she wouldn't have to smell blood. Humans were often afraid of seeing blood, or even feeling it, but the smell didn't register to their less sensitive senses; that delicious aroma had been one of the most difficult obstacles to my becoming a doctor. It had taken me centuries of practice to build up my immunity to the thirst.
Finally, the sound of delicate knuckles meeting my door in three short taps sounded. I counted silently to myself, waiting the time it would have taken for me to stand and cross the office at human speed, then opened the door with a welcoming smile.
The sight that greeted me on the other side of my door made me thankful that I didn't need oxygen, for it was suddenly impossible to breathe. Isabella Swan was the epitome of feminine beauty as it was defined in my human life: youthful, softly curved, pale, and innocent. Her white cheeks were flushed with the most delicious blush. Incredibly warm chocolate eyes widened as she took me in, then quickly dropped toward her shoes, as her perfect teeth captured her soft, full bottom lip.
Feelings stirred in a part of my body I had come to think of as forever immobile. My lips began to form the words of a prayer I hadn't spoken aloud since my father had passed away, leaving me to lead the church he had presided over. "Lead me not into temptation…" I whispered as quietly as I could. In my head, I was howling in pain and confusion. Why, after literally centuries of comfort with my chosen celibacy, would I feel tempted now, by the young daughter of one of the few humans I could consider a friend?
Thankfully, my mind worked considerably faster than a human's, even when I was in shock. I recovered enough to sound somewhat like my normal self, as I stepped aside from the door and said, "You must be Isabella, please come in and have a seat."
The invitation shook her from her frozen pose, but as she stepped into the room, she tripped over the tiny lip of my doorway. I caught her by the arm as she lurched forward and we both gasped at the contact.
"Bella," she said, not making any effort to step away from me or even remove her arm from my grasp.
"You prefer Bella?" I made it a question, but her tone had been clear in meaning.
She nodded, and I smiled. Rather than release her, I stepped closer and led her to a chair in front of my desk, guiding her by the elbow as I would have escorted a young woman across the street a century or two ago. If she found this strange, Bella didn't comment. Rather, she smiled and blushed deeper as she settled into her seat and I walked around the desk to my own chair.
"Well, Bella," I started. "Why don't I tell you a little bit about the job I'd like you to consider."
Bella cocked her head to the side in confusion. She hadn't failed to notice that I'd phrased it as if she had the power to make the decision, not me. I went on to explain that Charlie had told me she had previously worked at a library and that I required occasional help in researching the latest medical studies for my patients. In order to achieve this goal, I would need to have my extensive library of medical books and manuals organized in a much better manner.
In fact, I had spent half a day rearranging and disarranging the reference books I kept in my office so that it would appear I needed help. I smiled in pride at the seeming chaos I'd so carefully created. It didn't actually matter whether they were sorted alphabetically, chronologically, or in no order at all, I could recall every title and where each was at any moment. But, I had a feeling that Bella would find the work challenging and rewarding.
"I realize this is a bit more difficult than your average after-school job," I said, wrapping up my speech to Bella. "But I promise we can keep your schedule flexible so that your studies won't suffer. I thought we could start with ten hours a week, and you decide on the time and day."
Bella had been nodding, her eyes bright and sparkling, until I got the last part. I watched as her face fell into concern, a small crease appearing between her brows.
"Is ten hours too much?" I asked.
"No," she shook her head vehemently. "Not too much. I was actually hoping for more than that. You see, I'm trying to save for college."
I nodded. "Charlie shared that with me, but I don't want you to neglect your studies or your social life. As I said, I'm expecting more of you than the average after school job would demand, so your hourly rate will be higher than what they're paying at Newton's Outfitters or the library."
"The library wasn't offering to pay anything," she blurted out, then looked down at her hands in embarrassment.
I cleared my throat to get her attention back. It eased the unfamiliar pain in my chest to have her eyes back on me. "Well," I smiled, "that won't be hard to beat then, will it."
"No, Dr. Cullen," she replied shyly.
"Please, call me Carlisle," I said. "I don't want to be too formal of a boss."
Bella nodded again. I stared at her in silence until she gave in to my request. "Okay, Carlisle," her near-whisper reminded me of the reverent tones I could still remember from my human years sitting in the pews of my father's chapel, or quiet absolutions offered in the confessional.
"So," I cleared my throat, swallowing the venom that was pooling more steadily than normal. "I'm not entirely sure what Newtons was offering, but I thought we could start you here at twenty dollars an hour, and as you learn and decide what else you'd like to try, we can adjust as necessary."
Bella's mouth had fallen open, and her eyes were wide.
"Would you give me a try?" I asked, then corrected myself. "I mean, the job. Would you give the job a try?"
"Yes," Bella leaned forward so far she nearly fell out of her chair. In an instant, I was out of my seat and ready to catch her, but she righted herself. She hitched a breath as her head snapped up to see me standing next to her, my arms outstretched.
It was an unforgivable slip on my part. I would have to work harder to not forget myself around Bella and move at human speed, even if it meant letting her apparent clumsiness lead to a minor injury. I frowned at the thought for an instant before remembering to perform the necessary damage control.
"Are you feeling dizzy?" I asked, in the calm assurance of my bedside manner.
"N-n-n-no," Bella stuttered. "How did you get over here so fast?"
I carefully arranged my features to be calm but concerned. "I think you may have blacked out for a second. You were telling me that you would take the job and then you fell forward in your chair." I paused for a moment before straying from the truth. "You didn't look up when I said your name, but you seemed to come out of it when I came around to check on you."
"I did?" Bella's face scrunched up in confusion.
I figured I may as well sell the falsehood properly, as long as I was damning myself with the lie. "Can you follow my finger with your eyes?" I asked, performing the standard checks when a human unexpectedly loses consciousness.
Bella silently did as I asked, but I could tell she would not be sufficiently distracted from what she knew had happened. I expected her to say something else once I assured her she seemed okay, but she just looked at me with her mouth set in an obstinate expression.
"Do you feel up for filling out your employment paperwork?" I asked her, wishing I could do something else to ease the tension now between us.
"I'm fine," she said, starting to stand. "I just need directions to HR."
"That won't be necessary," I assured her, turning to open my desk drawer to pull out the prepared clipboard. "I have everything right here. Take your time with these. I'm just going to step out to check on a patient, and I'll be back in a minute."
Bella nodded.
It occurred to me that Bella was intelligent enough to know that I would not leave her alone if she had indeed blacked out minutes before. But I needed to calm myself and couldn't do that if I was in the small room with her any longer. I opened the door, looking back over my shoulder to meet Bella's eyes again.
"Give me five minutes," I told her. "Don't go anywhere."
She nodded, and I closed the door.
It shouldn't feel so good to me to have Bella shut away in my office but listening to her heartbeat as I wandered the halls to check a few vitals did more to calm me than anything I could remember in years. I hoped that she would decide to spread her work hours over every weekday. Then I wouldn't have to wait so long in between seeing her.
The promised five minutes passed, and I stood outside my door, feeling as nervous as she had sounded when we met. So, this is what attraction felt like. Or perhaps I had slipped by that first phase into full-blown infatuation?
I could hear Bella rolling the pen I had given her around in her hands, but she was done writing. I inhaled a few times, enjoying her scent, and letting my mind wander to memories I hadn't visited in years.
I would be considered an old man by the standards of my human time in the late 1600s. My father had expected me to devote my life to the church. But, if Bella had been alive then, and I had been a physician instead of a priest, it would have been perfectly normal for me to ask Charles Swan for her hand.
Now, even if someone considered the human age my body had been frozen and not my actual age, it would not be acceptable for me to romance this young woman with soulful chocolate eyes. I would have to learn to control the feelings she evoked in me, the same way I had learned to control my thirst for blood. The later had taken decades, and I closed my eyes in a silent prayer that it would not be the same for me to manage my desire for Bella.
The possibility that she might also be attracted to me was easy to push aside. I was aware of how young women reacted to my appearance. My vampirical beauty was intended to lure humans to me. But, Bella was clearly an intelligent woman, and I would be careful not to encourage her. However, it probably wouldn't be long before one of the young men at Forks High School would pursue her. I was startled by the sound of a low vampire growl and quickly turned around, looking for the unexpected predator. There was no one, human or otherwise nearby. I laughed nervously as I realized I had made the noise myself.
How strange.
In a gesture I had adopted from Edward many years ago, I drew a nervous hand through my hair before knocking on the door.
Bella called for me to come in, and I smiled to myself, thinking of one of many vampire legends her words evoked. For better or worse, Bella Swan, and her father had invited me into her life. And though part of me realized I should turn and run away for all of our sakes, I stepped through the doorway and intended to stay near this girl as often and for as long as I could manage to.
It turned out that Bella was much more than a pretty face and sweet-smelling blood. She had an ethic and intellect I hadn't witnessed in someone of her age for years. It was frankly remarkable for a young woman of this time. We agreed that she would come to my office every weekday after her classes ended, but I honestly expected her to want to ask to change that sooner than later.
Though I was joyous at the opportunity to see her so often and she quickly learned how to handle my research tasks almost as efficiently as I could, I cared about how that may be affecting her social life. Charlie no longer ate at the diner every day, so it took me a while to arrange a chance meeting with him.
As it turned out, I didn't have to come up with a way to ask about Bella. The Chief pulled the cruiser in just after I had placed my order. When he saw me sitting at the counter, he came right up and asked without preamble, "Has Bella mentioned anything about a boy to you?"
"No," I growled through my fangs, before catching myself and covering the moment with a cough. Charlie's eyes were wide, but he was a braver man than most and seemed quickly able to shake off his natural reaction to my anger.
"Why do you ask?" I questioned in my most gentle tone of voice.
"She's been acting kind of strange," Charlie's mustache twitched as his mouth worked beneath it. "What else aside from a boy could it be if she's singing to herself. And she actually skipped in the kitchen this morning. I mean, aren't teenagers supposed to be grumpy and sullen, especially on Monday morning."
"Are they?" I asked, pondering all the implications of what Charlie was saying. Was there a boy at school that had caught Bella's eye?
"Could you do me a favor, doc?" Charlie asked.
"Of course, Chief," I answered.
"I know she thinks of you as more than a boss," he looked uncomfortable. "I'm not asking you to betray any confidences or anything, but maybe you could ask if she was planning on going to that girl's choice dance that's coming up next week."
"Wouldn't that be a little strange?" I countered though I was already thinking how I could work that into my conversation with Bella that afternoon. What horrors of the modern age, that girls were not only allowed, but encouraged to ask horny, irresponsible, teenaged boys to a school dance!
"Maybe you could bring it up in terms of giving her the afternoon off," Charlie suggested, scratching the back of his head.
"I could do that," I said. "Although, if she asks me not to tell you…" I raised my eyebrows in a silent plea for his understanding that I wouldn't break a confidence.
"You wouldn't have to tell me if she's going to the dance," Charlie said. "Maybe we could just agree that you'll let me know if she's not."
I had to laugh a bit. For a man of the law, Charlie seemed all too comfortable with a loophole. But, as I lived in a paradox of morality myself, I wasn't one to judge.
"I'll talk to her this afternoon," I promised. "And maybe see you here tomorrow, same time."
"Thanks, doc," Charlie sighed his relief.
A/N - That's it to start. If you feel inclined to share some thoughts, please do. I'll be pushing myself to get another chapter up as soon as I can around my full-time job, two hour daily commute, and landlord duties. Until next time, brew up some love and serve it to someone who deserves it - even if that is yourself. 3 LPB
