I wrote this one-shot over the weekend but after seeing last night's episode I almost didn't post this because what could possibly top that lol. You know things are getting good when the actual show is better than a fanfiction. Anyway, enjoy :)
"I know you are already doing a lot of preparation for the baby. I was just wondering, have you thought of a name yet?" Alison asked as she sat at the kitchen island, attempting to eat but having a difficult time due to nausea.
Emily gazed across the kitchen island at the blonde, seeming lost in thought for a moment before replying. "I haven't. Not yet. I was hoping to find out the gender before I got too lost in baby names. It would at least narrow down my search."
"Fair enough," Alison replied while pushing her food around with her fork.
"Can I get you something different to eat?" Emily offered, but Alison merely shook her head.
"No, if I can't eat manage something as light as a bowl of chopped fruit then I don't think anything else would be better," Alison said with a sad smile.
Emily frowned. She hated the fact that Alison was facing such an uncomfortable time all because she asked her to carry the baby. "What about you? Have you thought about any baby names?"
"No, that really isn't my place," Alison replied as she popped a grape into her mouth and closed her eyes while attempting to swallow the small bite of fruit.
"What do you mean it isn't your place?" Emily questioned as she put her fork down.
"Em, this is your baby, not mine. It isn't my place to think of baby names or decide how to decorate the nursery. This all comes down to what you want." Alison replied, just happy that she had managed to stomach the grape with no issues thus far.
"But... Oh." Emily began to speak, but quickly cut herself off as realization settled on her like thick rainfall.
"What?" Alison asked as she nibbled on a sliced strawberry.
"Nothing, it is stupid," Emily said as she actually began blushing.
"Emily, it's me. I am carrying your child. At this point, you can tell me anything and it will be alright, I promise."
Emily pushed her food around for a moment before locking eyes with the blonde.
"When you told me you will have the baby only if I will help you I thought that meant everything. That I would help you name the baby, we would prepare for the nursery, and that we would raise the child together. Both of us being mothers. I didn't realize you planned on carrying the child but playing a different role in its life."
"Em, before I knew the baby was yours I was ready to terminate the pregnancy. I decided on that because I am not ready to be a mother. But everything changed when we found out that it is yours. You asked me to keep it and I agreed because you want to be a mother. I couldn't deny you that. But I'm still not ready to become a mother. That doesn't mean I won't help you. I will be a part of this child's life forever. Hell, I already love it so much. I will breastfeed it and I will always help you with anything you need for this child so that you don't have to do this completely alone. I even think it would be wise for both of you to live here with me. At least until the baby is weaned. I know this isn't the most conventional situation, but I want to have this baby for you. Just not with you."
Emily felt her stomach drop. She could practically feel it melting away and falling onto the floor in a blubbery heap, but she managed to hold herself together in Alison's presence. "I understand. It would be too much for me to ask you to be a mother. It is already too much that I have asked you to carry my child, but I will forever be grateful for what you are doing. No one has ever done anything like this for me and I will always love you for this."
Alison felt a tingling sensation spreading in her stomach at Emily's last sentence. She knew Emily loved her and at this point, they were definitely more than just simple friends, but did Emily really love her like Paige had suggested? Alison didn't think Emily felt like that anymore. Especially not after she was just trying to have a relationship with Paige. She tried to brush off the feeling because there was no point in getting excited over those three words when they only held a friendly meaning.
"I think I am going to go lay down. I'm not going to be able to finish my dinner." Alison said with a groan as she began climbing the staircase.
"I'll wrap it up for later," Emily called out after the blonde.
"Thanks." She shouted down the stairs.
Emily wrapped the bowl in plastic and placed it in the refrigerator. She leaned back against the appliance and released a deep sigh. Sure, Alison said she wasn't going to be completely alone when it came to taking care of the baby, which Emily knew that. She had her mom, Spencer, Aria, Hanna, and most importantly Alison, but it was a hard pill to swallow knowing that she was going to be a single mother. That every major decision was going to be hers and hers alone. There would be no one to help her decide or even to make difficult decisions for her. There would be no one to help her name the child, decide what school to send it to or even help choose a pediatrician. No one would be able to help her discipline the child or go to parent teacher conferences.
It was all going to be Emily's responsibility and the thought was causing her to panic. This didn't mean that Emily had changed her mind. She wanted this baby and if she had to do it alone then she would manage. She had to. The worst part wasn't the fact that she was doing it alone, but the fact that she really believed that when she told Alison 'We will do it' she thought that meant she and Alison would be mothers together, not that Alison was simply doing her a favor by giving birth to her baby only to hand it over along with all the responsibilities.
Alison went to her room with the intention of taking a nap, hoping her stomach would ease up after some rest, but her mind wouldn't stop racing. She had thought that Emily was only asking her to carry the child. She didn't realize that Emily was asking her to become a mother as well. She hadn't even considered that option. Being a mother with Emily. That was a lot to process. Not that the idea wasn't nice. It really was, but she wanted to have a child with someone who she was in a relationship with. Someone that was completely in love with her. She wanted a big happy family where everyone could share a last name. She didn't have that with Emily. They had never even been on a date.
Not that Alison hadn't thought about Emily romantically. They had shared many kisses and on one occasion even slept together, but this was different. There was a child involved and things weren't as simple as they used to be. Emily was also fresh from a breakup. Alison knew that no part of Emily was going to want her. Those feeling of love and longing had to be far gone by now. Alison had done a lot of damage over the years, she was just lucky that Emily still wanted to be her friend. With a deep sigh, she tossed and turned, sleep not coming so easily.
~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X
Several days after Alison had suggested it, Emily had officially moved into her house and the blonde had to admit that it was exciting. It was comforting to know that she wouldn't be spending her nights home alone. More importantly, it was a comfort to have Emily around. Emily was truly making herself at home, even going as far as decorating the nursery and her excitement was the cutest thing to Alison. Several nights before, Emily was practically shaking with excitement as she led Alison into the nursery, using her hands as a blindfold. She was nervous to show Alison, but the blonde ended up loving it. That is until A.D. sneaked in and trashed the room shortly after. Alison flashed back to the night they found the demolished nursery, complete with the creepy mobile that A.D. so lovingly left behind.
Emily was completely devastated and truth be told, Alison was too. Emily spent so much time in that room, pouring her heart and soul into it. It hurt Alison to see Emily so broken, but it hurt her to know that the baby had practically been threatened. It upset her so badly that she found herself crying in Emily's arms once their friends came over to inspect the damage. Alison had managed to hold herself together, but seeing the sad looks upon her friend's faces released the flood she had been attempting to contain.
Emily looked down at the blonde woman in her arms. Alison was silently crying, which made Emily feel several emotions, beginning with sadness and moving to anger. She had always been protective of Alison, but especially now. "I knew A.D. was sick in the head, but this is low," Alison spoke with a raspy voice, throat raw from crying.
"Don't worry, Ali. I'll fix all of this by tomorrow morning." Emily whispered in the shorter woman's ear as she soothingly rubbed her back.
"What if A.D. comes back and ruins it again?" She choked out, trying to control the sob that was threatening to rip through her chest.
"A.D. likes to get a point across but isn't really about repeating the same things over and over. I think it will be fine if I just clean this up." Emily assured the blonde.
"I'll stay and help." Aria offered, followed by Hanna and Spencer adding their agreement.
"You guys really don't have to." Emily began, but Spencer cut her off.
"Of course we are going to help you, Em. A.D. threatening this baby isn't ok."
Alison sighed as she thought about it. She loved the way that Emily held her. She loved how protective Emily was over her. It isn't even her baby and yet Emily still felt the need to comfort Alison over the nursery instead of worrying about her own feelings. Emily worked hard on that nursery and she knew the swim coach was devastated over the damage, but she held it together when Alison wasn't able to. Of all the people in the world to have a baby with, Emily was the perfect option. She was always making sure that Alison was taken care of and even put the blonde's needs and comforts above her own. She was really stepping up and it was nice to have someone to help her through the pregnancy. When she first found out that she was pregnant, Alison imagined going through it alone and it was a devastating thought. However, Emily didn't allow Alison's biggest fears to come to life. She was perfect to the blonde in every single way.
Alison found herself doing a lot of thinking since dinner the other night with Emily. When the coach told Alison that she thought they were having the baby together. Alison had been thinking about it a lot, but something about the situation seemed a bit off to her. The fact that she was just friends with Emily. How could two best friends possibly parent a child together? Alison tried to justify it in her mind, but it just didn't seem logical. It didn't seem like it would work and all she was doing was setting herself up for heartbreak, which is why Alison had to stick with her decision to deny Emily's request. When it came to asking for things, some people may ask to borrow a shirt, some may ask for a cup of sugar, but Emily Fields wasn't that simple. As Alison thought about it, she found herself laughing. Emily had not only asked her to have a baby for her, but she practically asked her to mother the child with her as well.
Alison fondly rolled her eyes because of course, she said yes to Emily about carrying the child. She wasn't sure why she even told Emily she needed to think about it. Probably because she was in shock, but to be honest, no matter how farfetched the request, if Emily wanted something from Alison the blonde was willing to deliver.
Currently, Alison was home alone. She had spent too much of her time thinking about her situation, so she turned on her television and browsed Netflix in search of something entertaining. She landed on Friends and suddenly remembered that Phoebe carried triplets for her brother. It wasn't the exact situation, but it was close. Alison flipped through the many episodes until she found the one she was in search of. She grabbed a blanket and cuddled up on her sofa, completely drawn into the show for at least ten minutes when she heard the front door open and close.
"Hey, Ali. I'm home." Emily called out.
"I'm in here," Alison replied without taking her eyes off the tv.
Emily entered the room and made herself comfortable in an armchair, smiling at the blonde who was so engrossed with the tv show. Emily didn't want to interrupt because the other woman looked as though she was really interested in the episode, so Emily relaxed and watched it with her friend.
Emily had seen many episodes of Friends, but she didn't remember this part at all. The blonde was being a surrogate for her brother and currently, Alison was watching the episode where she gave birth to not one or two, but three babies. Emily had a feeling they would be watching a lot of movies and shows about babies for the next eight or so months, which she didn't mind. Emily thought this episode was funny because Phoebe kept trying to come up with ways to be able to keep one of the babies, but it stopped being amusing when she saw how sad the woman on the television was becoming. She glanced in Alison's direction and her friend seemed to be sharing the sentiment because she looked like she could cry at any moment. Emily crawled across the floor and silently took a seat in front of Alison. She reached her hand up and cupped Alison's cheek, staring into those blue eyes that threatened to spill tears.
"Emily, what if that happens to me?" Alison asked, barely above a whisper.
"What, you end up attached and not wanting to let the baby go?"
Alison silently nodded at the brunette's question but Emily only smiled in response.
"Let's be realistic. Carrying a baby can be emotional. You are going to get attached to this baby and you will love it so much."
"I already love it." Alison interrupted, causing Emily to smile.
"I love it too. So much. I just want you to know that at any point if you change your mind and you want to be the baby's other mother then I am ok with that. You don't have to say goodbye to this little one unless you are absolutely certain. I am very much ok with my baby having two mothers. Just know that the offer is on the table. If you change your mind, if you ever want us, we're yours."
"Both of you?" Alison asked, almost not believing what she just heard.
"Yes, both of us," Emily said with the most sincere expression on her face. "All yours."
Emily expected Alison to take some time to think it over, but apparently, it wasn't necessary. Alison reached forward and wrapped her arms around Emily's neck as she released a shaky breath. "I want you. Both of you."
"You can take a little time to think about it," Emily insisted. "Are you sure?" The last time Emily asked Alison that question her answer was no, but this time the blonde whispered something different.
"Yes, I'm sure. The only thing that has held me back from wanting to be a mother was the fact that we aren't together. Because of that, I never considered that you wanted me to be the mother too. I thought you just wanted me to have the baby and hand it over. That was why I detached myself from the situation as much as possible. After I thought about it I realized I really did want to do this with you. I want to have a family, not just raise a baby with my best friend. I really and truly want us to be a family. I mean, God, Emily, I love you so much. It took me years to be honest with myself, but I do. I love you. I love everything about you from your breathtaking smile to your gentle soul. I love you so completely. I just didn't think that you felt that way about me anymore. I mean, you were just with Paige not that long ago. I was worried you still had feelings for her."
"I was trying to force something to work with her, but it was doomed from the start. I don't have to force anything with you because I have loved you since we were in high school. We are meant to be together. I mean, my dream woman is pregnant with my baby. If that isn't a sign then I don't know what is." Emily said with a small laugh.
"So we're going to do this together?" Alison asked once more, still not believing that the sweetest person she had ever met wanted to start a family with her, the meanest person she had even known. It was incredible. It was terrifying. It was thrilling. It was going to be one of the best and most rewarding experiences of both their lives and for the first time, Alison felt herself actually excited to have their baby.
Emily smiled before leaning forward, pressing her lips to Alison's and gently stroking her cheek before whispering "Absolutely. We are going to do this. Just you and me."
