It was a clear night. The stars glittered brightly, but they were upstaged by the magnificent full moon which shone luminously, catching the attention of any and all innocent bystanders.
He must have transformed by now, Tonks thought, a powerful ache developing in her chest. She had walked over to the window to draw the curtains, but the sight of the huge, glowing orb in the sky had distracted her and her arm was now lying, redundant, by her side. Full moons had obviously caused her anxiety since marrying Remus, but this time was so much worse. She had no idea where he was - she doubted that he had access to the Wolfsbane Potion, and the idea that he could be out there all alone with nothing to stem the violent beast rising within him was physically painful to her.
She'd never seen him transformed. He would lock himself in the basement on full moon nights, despite Tonks's many offers to be there to support him.
"Absolutely not," he would say firmly. "You're mad if you think I would put you in that kind of danger. Besides... I couldn't bear for you to see me like that," he would sometimes admit quietly, and although Tonks was privately a little hurt that Remus was unwilling to share such a big part of himself with her, she respected his wishes. It was something he had to live with, and Tonks knew that she had to let him deal with it in his own way. She never slept on those nights, though.
Subconsciously, she curled a protective hand over her stomach as her thoughts turned to the child growing inside her. She had no idea what his or her life would be like, and it really scared her that she didn't have Remus by her side to help. If the baby did turn out like Remus, he would know what to do, how to deal with it. But now he wasn't around, and Tonks... she had no idea.
She thought back longingly to the early days of their marriage. Their relationship hadn't been a simple one for obvious reasons, but once they were married, it had been effortless, despite all the chaos around them as the Second Wizarding War approached. Tonks could hardly believe how different things were from a few months ago.
Tonks was brought back to her senses abruptly by the sound of her mother's footsteps approaching the kitchen and she jumped.
"Mum! I was just about to get dinner on," she said quickly, "but I... got distracted," she finished lamely.
"That's okay," Andromeda sighed, following her daughter's gaze and focussing on the beam of the moon. "Thinking about Remus?" she asked knowingly.
"I... yeah," Tonks admitted, still as amazed as ever at how well her mother could read her. "I miss him. And I just can't stand the thought of him out there all alone—"
"Shhh," Andromeda said, grasping Tonks's hands soothingly. "He'll be fine. He must have done this thousands of times before."
"I know," Tonks sighed, grateful for the company of her mother - Andromeda knew how to comfort her like nobody else. "But it's the first time I haven't been able to see him before and after he transforms... I can't help worrying."
Andromeda was quiet for a moment. "You know," she began thoughtfully, "I've never known you to be a worrier before. You always used to be one for taking each day as it comes."
"Mm," Tonks said hesitantly - it was true. "But... I guess some things change that." She dropped her gaze to her stomach, which was rounding slightly from her impending motherhood. Ever since discovering her pregnancy, she had found herself instinctively looking to the future more and more, despite how much it scared her.
"I suppose they do," Andromeda agreed slowly. She paused for a moment, looking down at her daughter with pain in her eyes. "You'll be fine, you know," she promised suddenly. "Both of you. All three of you," she amended, gesturing up at the moon. "Remus will come back. He's a good man, and he cares about you. He'll come back," she repeated like a mantra.
Tonks shook her head, finally reaching over and closing the curtain firmly. "He won't come back," she said quietly. "You didn't see how angry he was." She cursed herself as she felt tears pricking at her eyes; she didn't want to cry in front of her mother, not after last time. She'd completely fallen apart the night Remus left.
"He will," Andromeda insisted, resting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "He's angry at the situation, not at you. You getting pregnant is his fault as much as yours. He's angry at Greyback for infecting him all those years ago. And that's something he can't change. He can't change the past, and he'll realise that," she said more softly. "You just need to have faith."
Tonks sighed as Andromeda gave her hand a final reassuring squeeze and left her to her thoughts. She used to be the most hopeful, optimistic person, but that attitude was proving difficult to find in a time of war. She opened the curtain again and contented herself with the thought that Remus was out there somewhere under that spectacular, shining moon, and that maybe, one day, they would be united once more.
A/N: Well here is what I've been desperate to write for the last few weeks and haven't had time to up until now - it's my entry for the Separation Slice of the Chinese Moon Festival Competition, Arithmancy on the School Subjects Competition and Acid Pops on the Honeydukes Competition, all on HPFC. Hope you enjoyed :)
Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Harry Potter or anything you see here.
