Goodbyes

Dylan hated changes. One of the hugest changes to throw his world upside down went by the name of William Beardsley. Sure he was good looking in a sense, but he was the total opposite of Dylan North. More importantly, he was the opposite of Phoebe North. Whenever he had a chance, most likely in class, Dylan would sit and let his mind wander with nothing better to do. He wasn't stupid. They tried to act innocent like they didn't know anything, but Dylan could see it.

It was the way she looked at William. Phoebe would glance at him in this special way and he would return the look with a smirk. It was hurting Dylan. He couldn't explain why, but he knew it was wrong. He wasn't supposed to feel this way towards her. It was already obvious that she liked someone else. The hug she gave him after he won the election was icing on the cake. After the shock of seeing them hug wore off, Dylan had to maintain his cool dude attitude and congratulate Willy.

Phoebe and William were in the same grade and had to have a couple classes together. Ever since grade school Phoebe had been very intelligent. She gladly read summer reading books and took extra AP and Honors classes. William Beardsley, Mr. Student Body President, was aiming high to go to college at Stanford or Harford. They were both really smart in school. Dylan was a different story.

Dylan occasionally cut class and went to hang out and play music in someone's garage. A couple times he left right after homeroom and decided to spray paint the back wall by the basketball courts. School wasn't important. Dylan was going to write and play music for a living. He was going to live like a rockstar and nothing in Algebra II was going to help him in his career choice. Phoebe worried about him. Maybe that's why he rebelled. He wanted her to worry about him. He wanted her to care.

Phoebe and William were stepsiblings. It was gross.

Then again…liking your sister and being jealous of your stepbrother was…even grosser.

It was strange how much William resembled Frank and Phoebe modeled after her mother. Helen and Frank were happily married. They were supposed to be one big happy family. Dylan couldn't do anything about it. He just stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, grinned and stood in the background. Dylan didn't have anything against Frank except the fact that he made them all wake up at the crack of dawn.

Dylan refused to let Frank pass his walls. He missed his real father. His father was the complete opposite of Frank Beardsley. Mr. North was a kind man that knew how to play on people's emotions. He could be stern and tough, but friendly and goofy the next minute. He was just like Helen and encouraged the kids to express themselves in any way possible. In the beginning, Helen had Frank; bur then moved on, married Mr. North and was really happy. Then again, she still ended up with Frank in the end.

Dylan would hate to loose Phoebe especially to a guy like William.

Dylan couldn't do anything about the feeling he got when she smiled. All he could do was hide the hurt he felt when it was someone else she was smiling at. Dylan tried. He really did. He tried to pretend not to care about the jerk she was flirting with, the loser she was making out with or the freak she was convinced she loved this week. Dylan just stood by and watched, trying not to care.

Meanwhile Dylan tried to keep her off his mind. He flirted and dated any girl who was hot. He never committed. It would be a really rare sight to see him date a girl more than once. He was the school heartthrob. No matter whom he was with or where they were at Dylan couldn't help but wonder who Phoebe was with and where she was at. That got boring and Dylan found himself hanging out at home more, hanging out with Phoebe more.

After Phoebe decided to go to NYU and William set his sights on Harvard Dylan slightly relaxed. He'd be in Boston. She'd be in New York. Dylan would be home in New London. He was happy until a pile of bricks came crashing down on him. Phoebe going off to college meant that he wouldn't see her everyday. Who was supposed to help him write a new song? Who was supposed to try and keep him out of trouble? How would he live without her?

It was almost time for her to leave. Dylan stopped talking to her. The whole week before she left he just avoided her and ignored her. Dylan was trying to convince himself that he didn't care about her. She was leaving. He regretted all those fantasies about the two of them being together forever. Phoebe could live without him and Dylan was trying hard to convince himself that he could live without her too.

It was noon and the sky was gray outside. Dylan was lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling, listening to the rain fall. He wore almost all black. He wore baggy black jeans with his signature chains hanging from them, a black hoodie and a black and gray beanie on his head. It wasn't how he usually color coordinated. He was hoping to make a statement though it was uncertain what he wanted to accomplish.

"Whose funeral are you going to?" William Beardsley questioned as he entered the room.

"Yours, if you don't move out sooner," Dylan slickly replied before burying his face in a nearby pillow. Dylan couldn't wait for William to move out. He'd have the room all to himself and he could finally have everything where he wanted it. That wasn't a bad way to start your senior year of high school.

"Come on, North, get up," William ordered, mimicking his father when Frank wanted the kids awake at the crack of dawn. "Dad and Helen wanted me to get you so we can start loading Phoebe's stuff into the SUV. Plus, I think she was looking for you."

"No," Dylan simply replied. "Tell them I have a headache."

"Whatever you say," William replied with the shrug of his shoulders. He left the room, shaking his head. Dylan just returned to his former position of staring at the ceiling. William said she was looking for him. Dylan didn't want to see her. Why couldn't she just leave without saying goodbye? Maybe it'd be a lot less painful.

He could have sworn he fell asleep, listening to the pitter-patter of the falling rain. Soon Dylan heard a knock on the door though he didn't move a muscle. He could hear the familiar sound of her shoes clanging against the wooden floor of his room. He knew it was her even before she sat at the foot of his bed.

"So is it true?" her sweet yet demanding feminine voice questioned. He didn't want to hurt her by ignoring her, but it was hurting Dylan more by knowing he was losing her. Dylan couldn't resist, but glance at her. Her beautiful hair fell freely, curling slightly at the ends. She was wearing a turquoise top, ripped blue jeans and a green scarf wrapped around her neck.

"Is what true?"

"Why aren't you coming to the airport?" Phoebe questioned. She was always straight to the point. Dylan just lied back down on his bed with a groan. Phoebe sighed and crossed her arms, loosing her patience.

"I don't feel good," Dylan replied. It wasn't like he was lying. He felt horrible and the fact that she was questioning him about it made him feel a lot worse. Dylan just looked up at her with an obviously fake smile on his face. "You take care. Don't get mugged or whatever up in New York, okay?"

"Okay," Phoebe meekly agreed. "Well, I guess this is goodbye."

"Yeah, bye…"

"I'll see you around, D," Phoebe muttered as she stood and tried to hug him. Dylan uncomfortable turned away at her touch which made Phoebe quickly pull away with confusion. After she left, Dylan stood up and grabbed a sketchbook from behind his bed before sitting by the window.

It made him look like a total stalker weirdo who was obsessed with his sister. Dylan didn't care. She had so many moods and different expressions. He loved to sketch pictures of her. Almost ever single page of the sketchbook was of Phoebe. Some special exceptions might have been of a beautiful landscape, a sketch of a guitar or messy brainstorms for a new song. He never showed anyone this sketchbook. No one would understand. He was hoping Phoebe would be different.

Dylan pulled a green sharpie from his belt, knowing it was Phoebe's favorite color. He began to write on the last page of the sketchbook. He wrote all of the things he couldn't tell her. He wrote about everything, including the reason he'd been ignoring her and how he felt when she was around. As he signed his name at the bottom Dylan looked up and saw the SUV gone.

His eyes widened as Dylan raced down the stairs with the sketchbook in his hands. He ignored Jimi and Naoko as they questioned where he was going. He could see Mrs. Munion's mouth moving though he didn't hear a word. Dylan flung the door open and didn't even bother to shut the door behind him. He jumped into his old beaten blue Mustang that he had bought himself.

Dylan always defended his car when people teased it. Today he realized what a piece of junk it was. He cranked the engine and cured when it didn't start. Dylan slammed his first against the steering wheel with frustration. The horn didn't even work. With a sad sigh he slammed his head against the steering wheel. For a second he was giving up.

"Here," said a familiar voice. Dylan's miserable face looked up to see William with a set of keys in his hands. At first Dylan was skeptical. Why was William being so nice? He'd never usually let Dylan even lean against his truck. "Say goodbye the right way."

Dylan nodded and snatched the keys from his stepbrother's hands. After sending the older boy a gracious smile Dylan took off across the front lawn. He jumped into William's truck and quickly started the engine. He drove like a crazy man. He was so preoccupied that he totally forgot that Helen had just grounded him from driving after the last incident involving a flipped over Mustang.

Dylan slammed his foot against the brake petal and quickly shut down the engine once arriving at the airport. It didn't even register in his mind that it was a tow away zone. Dylan just grabbed his sketchbook and ran. He couldn't have missed her plane. He left only a little while after them. Dylan ran to the metal detectors and stopped. He couldn't pass without a ticket. He didn't have a cell phone and she wasn't around at all.

"Damn it…my luck sucks…"

"Dylan?" A familiar voice questioned. He turned around.

"Pheebs!" Dylan ran and wrapped his arms around the girl. She seemed surprised at first, but as the shock wore away Phoebe returned the hug. She was just glad he came. For once in the last week Dylan was smiling. It felt so good to be close to her even if this was the last time he'd be seeing her for a while.

"I didn't want you to leave without getting a proper Dylan North goodbye," Dylan said as they both pulled away from the tight embrace. Instead of staring at the ceiling he had grown accustom to, Dylan stared into her eyes. They were beautiful, big chocolate brown eyes. There was no one like her.

"You drove here yourself, didn't you? Cool, It means a lot to me that you'd risk getting an extended grounding just to say goodbye to me," Phoebe said with a smile. "Some Dylan North goodbye…"

"You know, only the best for you, Pheebs," Dylan said with that signature charming smile on his face. "Got a minute?"

"Come on. We've got time before I board the plane," Phoebe said as she linked her arm with Dylan's. The two sat on a nearby bench. "Why didn't you want to come earlier? Don't say you had a stupid headache, Dylan North. You give a girl that excuse when you don't want to go out with her for a second time."

"You know me well," Dylan said with a little laugh then turned serious. "I hate change. You've been my best friend since…I was born. It's hard to watch you leave. Heck, it's hard even watching William leave. I guess…I thought if I ignored change…then it'd just go away."

"Dylan, we both know that change is inevitable. As much as we want things to stay the same…change happens," Phoebe said sadly. "You'll be just fine with two less people to share a bathroom with."

"Things aren't gonna be the same without you, you know," Dylan said sadly, smiling up at her. "I don't think I can do it. Who's supposed to be my partner in crime? Christina? No way! We always had the best plans especially during the Beardsley invasion."

"Yeah," Phoebe agreed. "William was smart to call that truce. They knew the Norths would have totally won the war." Dylan couldn't help glance at her suspiciously at the mention of Harvard boy's name.

"You know, Pheebs, all the time we've lived with them they became family…but you and William…have you ever…you know…thought of William-"

"Dylan, you aren't serious are you?" Phoebe cut him off with a little laugh. "No way…what about you and Christina?"

"Ew," Dylan said, almost jumping from his seat. "Now that's messed up…"

Silence…

The two eldest North siblings began to laugh hysterically. He almost forgot she was leaving. She almost forgot she was leaving too. It was another one of their moments. It felt like they were back in the basement. After writing and practicing a new song, the two would just sit and laugh after each stupid remark. After a long sigh Dylan leaned against the back of the bench. Phoebe leaned her head against his shoulder as Dylan subconsciously wrapped his arms around her.

"I can't believe you thought me and William-"

"Hey! You thought I was into Christina," Dylan shot back with a sour expression. "She isn't my type."

"William's great and it helps that we're in the same grade, but…he's too totally uptight. I don't know how mom and Frank deal every day. He's strict. She's laidback. Somehow it works. If I were mom we'd all still be living in New York instead of moving down here to Connecticut."

"They love each other. That's all that matters…"

"Wow, Dylan North, the New London High Heartthrob believes in love," Phoebe said teasingly.

"So what if I do?" Dylan shot back. "I do think I love a girl. I'm just waiting to see if she loves me back."

"You aren't gonna tell me who she is and I'm cool with that. Just…don't get all obsessive over the girl. While I'm gone I want you take care of mom and the other kids. Oh and enjoy senior year because if you hate William and me moving out wait till you and Christina have to move out…I'm even freaking out about college."

"You'll do fine and you know it," Dylan corrected. "You're like the strongest person I know."

"Shut up," Phoebe said with a smile, playfully shoving him away. Soon Frank and Helen approached and Dylan couldn't help, but sigh. The two took this as their cue to stand and walk towards their parents. He had so little time to actually talk to her. Dylan was regretting his decision to not speak to her the previous week.

"Phoebe, we've gotta go," Helen warned. She wrapped her arms around her husband and kissed him one last time as Phoebe and Dylan awkwardly looked away. Helen released Frank and Phoebe took the opportunity to hug Frank and to her surprise he hugged her back.

"You behave and listen to Frank while I'm gone, okay?" Helen asked as she hugged Dylan and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Come on, mom, when do I not behave?" Dylan asked with his signature smirk. Helen just shot him a look and gently slapped her son on the shoulder. "Of course, I'll be good. You two have a safe flight."

"Bye little brother," Phoebe said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into another tight embrace. Dylan returned the hug, holding her gently. For a second he didn't want to let go. He just wanted to hold onto her forever.

"Bye Phoebe," Dylan replied. He had to let her go.

Dylan stood as still as a statue as he watched Frank escort the two North women towards the security checkpoint. Once they crossed that, there was no turning back. Dylan couldn't watch. He turned to the side and furiously ran his fingers through his brown hair. His eyes went wide as he saw the sketchbook sitting on the bench they were previously sitting at.

"Phoebe, wait!"

Dylan ran to the bench and quickly retrieved the book before sprinting towards Phoebe. She was waiting for him. Helen and Frank were in front of them, a good couple feet away and out of earshot. Dylan was pretty relieved. With their parents standing there would have made everything a lot more awkward.

"Dylan, what's going on?"

"For you," Dylan replied, his heart beating irregularly fast. It could have been from the sprint or the fact that he confessed everything on the last page of the sketchbook. With the best smile he could muster Dylan handed Phoebe the green book. Phoebe curiously tried to open the book though Dylan stopped her. "Not now. Maybe you could open it in New York or even on the plane. It's for your eyes only."

"Thanks Dylan," Phoebe said with a smile, hugging him once again. "I feel homesick already."

"I-I love you, Phoebe…" Dylan's smile was whipped off his face. His heart was racing as he held her tightly. She was silent. She wasn't saying anything. He scared her. He freaked her out. A brother wasn't supposed to love his sister like that. It's wrong! He needs a therapist. He needs serious help.

"I love you too, Dylan," Phoebe replied just as they pulled away from the hug. A huge smile made its way onto Dylan's face when he saw her smile. For once she wasn't smiling at some other random guy who she thought was hot. She was smiling at him. "You're gonna make a girl real happy one day…Bye Dylan…"

Dylan's face dropped as soon as he heard her second statement. Dylan wanted to run and kiss her, let her know how he really felt and what he really meant by those four words he stuttered. However, every time she turned to wave at him Dylan just faked a smile and waved back. Phoebe didn't understand. All he could do was burry his hands into his pockets and wait for her.

He truly loved her. That's why he had to sat goodbye.


July 16, 2006: 7:04 AM: This is just something I wrote over vacation without internet. I hope you liked it!