One Look

Disclaimer: Don't own CLAMP. One shot.

It's a beautiful winter's day and I can't help but smile. It's not a happy smile…it's one of sorrow and relief.

My name is Syaoran Li and I'm 25 years old. There are still many empty pages in my life that I must fill, but I know I'll never be able to finish my book.

I met a girl one day and she wasn't the one for me. The next day I met another girl and she wasn't for me either. Chance took a turn for the better one sweet night and I found the girl of my dreams.

On the 24th of July 2004 I was in my office working hurriedly, late into the night. Then this beautiful, enchanting woman came in. I never found out what her name was, but I know she had these mesmerising emerald eyes. So I just called her the green-eyed girl. I don't know where she came from, I don't know why she came to my office that one night…but I'm glad she did.

Every look she gave me made me feel so happy…but I always felt so close yet distant to her.

Every time I saw her I asked the same question "Please give me the pleasure of knowing your name" and she always replied with a giggle "I'll tell you the next time we meet".

We only knew each other for such a short period of time. I didn't know it at the time, but I fell for her during those short months. Although she talked to me about almost everything, I knew she hadn't been completely honest with me.

That sad look in her eyes…

I went to surprise her one day so we could go out for lunch and I found her crying on the floor in her lounge room. I don't think she knew I was there, but I vowed to heal her pain.

I failed her because I only made her pain worse. I didn't know it at the time, but she was slowly falling apart.

We only knew each other for about 2 months, but I was so happy. I never wanted it to end…but all good things must come to an end.

On the 17th of September that year I took her to the city and we wandered around aimlessly like a wind. She smiled at me and told me something while we were eating ice cream. "The next time we meet I promise to tell you my name."

After calling her the green-eyed girl numerous times during the early stages of our friendship, she told me to call her Jade for now.

I wondered why in my spare time. I thought it was because of her green eyes, but now I know why…really.

It was really awkward that day, but I told her the one thing I needed to say. "I love you."

I should have never told her that, otherwise I might've been able to see her again.

Her smile was bright and genuine for that second, but as she lunged onto hug me she cried. It wasn't tears of joy, but of pain.

The 17th of September symbolises many different and important things for me. It marks the day that I confessed my love, the day I made her smile, the day I caused her pain, the day she told me everything and the day I let her go…

"I once loved a man. He was so kind and sweet to me just like you. He just died and left me one day. I only love him. I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm sorry Syaoran but I can never love you! So just forget about me! I don't want anyone else to get her! Forget me, so that I can too!"

And she ran…and I…I just watched.

Jade…emerald…eyes…jaded eyes…….

Not until a year after her death did I find out what happened. She'd been drinking. She always drank when she wasn't having a good day. Sometimes she drank more than 6 bottles of sake.

She wasn't the one driving the car; she was just trying to cross the road…she just never made it to the other side.

So now I'm standing hear in the cold, listening to the wind sing ballads of lost love. The cemetery isn't a lovely place but today it is.

"Do you know what day it is today? It's the 24th of July. It's been a year since we first met. You said that the next time we met that you'd tell me your name…thank you for keeping your promise…Sakura Kinomoto."

I'm still stuck with the thought that she'll never love me. I'm glad she's with the man she loves now…

I reach into my pocket and pull out a small blade. As I walk over to the flowerless cherry blossom I'm filled with happy memories.

Syaoran + the green eyed girl…..

Luv White

R & R