Bouncy
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Tobi arrives at Naruto's house and knocks gently on the door. No one answers, so Tobi knocks once again, this time forcefully…No answer.
"Oh, Tobi sees how it is. Wanna keep Tobi out. Nice try, bitches."
Tobi scurries behind the apartment and sees a ladder propped up against the side of the building.
"Perfect!" Tobi exclaims happily.
Tobi props the ladder up against Naruto's window. In the midst of his climb up the ladder, the neighbor in the apartment below sticks her head out of the window.
"What do you think you're doing?" The lady inquired.
"SPECTRE business." (Mass Effect humor)
"Spectre business?" The woman asks, confused.
"Yeah, in other words, mind your business."
"I'm calling the police."
"Do and die, bitch"
"Well, I never!" The lady exclaimed.
"And from the look of you, you never will!" Tobi sassed.
"Hmph." The lady slams the window shut as Tobi finally makes his way up the ladder and through Naruto's kitchen window.
"I'm in!" Tobi announced. "Hello…anybody home? Tobi's here. Anyone?"
Tobi shrugged and continued on into the living room.
"Tobi's bored." Tobi sighed as he sat down on the couch. "This couch seems pretty bouncy." Tobi bounces up and down a little, his face lighting up as he gets an idea.
"Bouncy, bouncy. Naruto, Tobi's gonna jump on the couch…Yell if you mind." Tobi waits for a few seconds. No answer. "Tobi's doing it…Here I go."
Bounce, bounce, bounce, CRACK! Tobi stops abruptly. "What was that?! What was that?!" Tobi jumps off of the couch. "Who's that?" Tobi looks around frantically. No one's there. "Must be Tobi's imagination. I wonder if the kitchen table is bouncy?" Tobi asked aloud as he made his way to the kitchen table.
"Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy." Tobi jumped up and down on the table. "This sucks, this is NOT bouncy." Tobi pouted. "Tobi wants to bouncy more." Tobi's eyes lit up. "The bed! The bed is bouncy, bouncy." Tobi squealed in glee as he headed to Naruto's bedroom.
"Naruto, Tobi's gonna bouncy on your bed. Yell if you mind." Tobi waits for an answer. No answer. "Thank you." Tobi whispers under his breath as he climbs up on the bed and begins to bounce up and down.
"Wee, this is just like a trampoline. Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy." Tobi kept on bouncing happily until he heard a strange noise. CRACK…
"What was that?" Tobi asked between bounces. "Anyone there? No… Oh well. Bouncy, bouncy, bou—"Creak…SNAP! The bed folded up like an accordion with Tobi in the middle. The only things visible were his hands and head.
"Well, isn't this magical?! Why does this always happen to Tobi?" Tobi cried waving his hands slightly. "HELP! HELP! Naruto, you jerk, stop ignoring Tobi!" Tobi screamed for 20 minutes before he finally gave up.
"Tobi's gonna die…Tobi can see the baby angels. I never thought I'd go out like this. Tobi the human sandwich stuck between two slices of mattress."
Just as Tobi had accepted his fate, in scrambles Naruto, shedding his clothes as he went. Tobi's eyes went wide as he realized Naruto was standing before him in all his naked glory.
"Take me Jesus; what has been seen cannot be unseen. Tobi is scarred." Naruto stands frozen for a moment taking in the sight before him. Tobi's head sticking up out of his bed, which was folded up in half with his hands sticking out of the sides.
"What?" Naruto asked looking confused.
"Don't 'what' Tobi; just get me out of here."
Naruto asks slowly, "What the hell are you doing in my house and in my freakin' bed?"
"You told Tobi he could bouncy, bouncy. It's not Tobi's fault your house is a death trap. And for God sakes dear, put some clothes on, man!"
"What?" Naruto looks down, realizing he is naked, and scrambles for his clothes. "First of all, I NEVER said you could 'bouncy, bouncy' and this is MY house and I was heading for the shower." Sasuke appears in the door way. "I thought I heard Tobi."
Tobi blinks, "You were heading for the shower, huh?" Tobi questioned. Naruto's face grew red.
"Yes, I was heading for the shower!"
"Put some clothes on, idiot. Anyone could walk in and see you." Sasuke said flatly.
"It's MY house. I don't have to explain myself, but YOU…you, Tobi have to explain yourself."
"Tobi ain't explaining squat until you get Tobi out of here."
Naruto finished getting dressed and went over to free Tobi. "Ok, I think I've got it." Naruto opened up the mattress and Tobi was just about to be free, when the mattress slipped from Naruto's grasp, smacking Tobi and pinning him once again.
"For the love of Bambi, WHY!? All Tobi wanted was a little bouncy, bouncy."
"Sasuke, help me out here." Naruto pleaded.
"Fine."
Together they freed Tobi from his mattress prison and he began to explain everything.
"How'd you get into my house?"
"How'd HE get into your house?" Tobi asked pointing at Sasuke.
"Good question." Naruto said.
"I walked, idiot."
"Smartass, I mean I shut the door."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did. I wouldn't leave the door open while stripping."
"Well, you did."
Naruto's face turned even redder. "Oh…Never mind that then. How'd you get in Tobi?"
"Tobi climbed the ladder to success."
"What?" Naruto asked.
"Tobi wanted in and saw the ladder calling to Tobi, 'use me and I'll get you in'. So Tobi listened 'cuz Tobi's a good boy, and viola, instant access."
"You broke in." Sasuke stated.
"Tobi broke nothing. Tobi just waltzed in and bouncy, bouncy."
"Whatever, you said I TOLD you, you could bounce on my bed. I did no such thing."
"Uh huh. Tobi said 'yell if you mind' you didn't yell so…"
"I WASN'T HERE!"
"So? What's your point?" Tobi asked, cocking his head to the side.
Naruto face-palmed. "It's fine, nothing's broken."
"Except the bed." Sasuke chimed in.
"Mind your business." Tobi scolded.
"Nah, it folds up like that sometimes."
"TOBI COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED! You should have warned Tobi."
"Whatever! I'm taking a shower so GET OUT! ALL of you, get the hell out of my house!"
"Sheesh, grouchy today, aren't we?" Sasuke stated.
"Really. You'd think he'd be kinder to his guests."
Naruto began to fume, "GET OUT!"
"Fine." Sasuke said as he exited the room.
"Tobi sees how it is. You should think about how you treat your friend. After all Tobi has done for you, Blasphemy! Tobi shall take his leave." And with that Tobi exits the room, waltzing happily out of the house.
~End~
