Chapter 1-

The cigarette was almost out, yet its last embers held on to life despite the hot steady breeze. Far bellow his rooftop refuge a yellow taxi drifted through the empty street on its way to parts unknown. He lazily followed its course until it disappeared around a corner. Then he watched the wind carry away the last tendrils of smoke as he leaned on the short roof ledge. Somewhere in the distance, a siren sounded as the city slumbered and he listened to that music of the night until it faded. Content with this isolation, his troubles being far away, he waited for the next phase of his life. Then the door opened.

She entered his world oblivious to his presence and tenderly tiptoed along the pavers. She appeared to relish the feeling of the hot wind playfully tossing about her long blonde hair, while her eyes focused on the roof's end and the void beyond. She was close to him, very close.

He watched her bare feet pick their way tenderly towards the edge and stop just short of it. Her eyes kept their focus and a lonely tear made its way down her cheek. It slid and hung precariously on her chin. When she looked up the sparkle of city lights reflected in her deep blue eyes. Was she considering . . . jumping?

"Ahem..." He cleared his throat; startled she turned to look at him. "Nice night to watch the city, the air is so clear you can almost see the river." He pointed with the cigarette. The hot summer breeze lovingly hugged her body with the delicate lace of her white dress; his eyes guiltily drifted down to admire her figure. She was beautiful. "Hope I didn't scare you, but I don't usually have many visitors up here."

"I thought … there was … alone." She stammered. Her big eyes looked at him in disbelief.

"On any other day you would be, but not today." He took a drag. "Want a smoke?" He offered her one.

"I … I don't smoke." She looked away.

"I know, but I thought I'd be a gentleman and offer you one anyways." His eyes immersed themselves in her form, from top to bottom. His breathing quickened as his hand clenched into a fist, she belonged to another.

It took them two summers of sneaking off to have some time alone and talk. Two full years of emails, phone calls, texts and hand holding before their first kiss. After all that, she threw it all away on a rich new boyfriend to take care of her.

"Why are you up here?" She frowned and looked at him puzzled.

"It's my cheat day." He held up the cigarette. "I take a day a week to come here to smoke and relax." Half-truth.

"Why up here?"

"Why up here, well why not? Look around you, it's beautiful!" He spread his hands and looked around at the glimmering metropolis. "It's like a different world up here. The lights of the buildings, the traffic bellow. I feel like the master of the universe when I come here." She looked at the city with him.

"I guess, but it's so lonely up here. Wouldn't you rather be with your friends or your sister?" She slowly approached the wall and leaned on it. He did not need to think about the answer.

"No." There was no intruding on his world. "Up here I'm alone, this is my time." His feelings dictated his words. "This is where I come to let go. No pressure, no others. Nothing to …" he looked over at her as her eyes studied him, "nothing to bring out my anxiety." He looked away to avoid her curious gaze. She did not know this about him and there seemed to be a lot he did not know about her.

"Anxiety …?"

"Yeah," he took a drag of the almost dead cigarette and relished the last of its warmth. "Anxiety. A daily struggle."

"How do you deal with it?"

"That door is a magical portal." He pointed to the roof's metal door. "Once a week I go through it and when I do, I leave the world behind. Here," he spread his arms and turned round, "I exist in my own little kingdom, no school, no friends and no sister. There is only one thing that rules my life here, I literally live," he looked over down to street level, "on the edge of death." She furrowed her brow and considered his words.

"On the edge of death, doesn't that scare you?" She peered over the edge and considered it for a moment then quickly pulled back. "Wouldn't that bring out your anxiety?" He smiled and stood up straight.

"Surprisingly no. I feel no fear up here." He thought about the urge within that screamed for him to take a step into the void. "The only thing that I do feel is an eagerness to fly." He smirked, spread his arms and leaned over the wall.

"That's not funny." Her voice was too emotional almost desperate.

"No it's not funny." He leaned farther over the edge enough to make her call his name. He came back. "But when you look down at the possibility of death what else can you do, cry?" He gave her his best Cheshire-Cat grin. "No, levity is the only answer." The cigarette burned to the filter so he tossed it over the ledge and let the wind pick it up. He pulled out another.

"You're crazy." She said dismissively.

"Perhaps, but up here in my kingdom is where I'm free to be crazy." He sat down on the short wall with his back to the void. "No fear my dear, no fear!" She studied him and shook her head, yet still gave him a timid smile.

As he attempted to light his cigarette, she drifted up to him. Her dress billowing in the breeze.

"I don't know what you're smoking, but can I have one too?" Her large eyes reached out to him for something he felt only he could giver her. He took the cigarette out of his mouth.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he presented her with the pack.

"Yeah…" She reached out with delicate fingers and took the one in his hand. Examined it, and then placed it in her mouth. Her action exited him more than he thought it could.

"Light?" She looked up at him as the edges of her lips turned up into a smile that reflected in her eyes.

"Yeah, here you go." He smiled back and held up the lighter. "Now, don't inhale; you haven't smoked before so it will make you cough if you do." She nodded and waited for the flame to ignite the tobacco. As it did, she pulled on it slowly. He waited for the embers to catch and then watched her blow the smoke out. It curled around her in an ephemeral halo and as the wind picked it up her shoulders relaxed.

"This is not what I expected." She sounded amused.

"What did you expect?" Her fingers twirled the cigarette as she watched the amber glow. He observed her. The gentle curve of her neck, the delicate bridge of her nose and the dark eyelashes that framed her deep blue eyes. It had become impossible for him to let her go.

"I didn't expect to see you here." She gave him a coy smile.

"Oh, you're talking about me?" A warmth spread throughout his body. "I thought you were talking about the cigarette."

"Duh, of course I'm talking about you; the cigarette is nothing to write home about." She brushed her hair away and moved over to the ledge. The wind playfully tossed her dress about and he had a good look at her long sexy legs.

"Can I ask you something? Why the bare feet, why no shoes?" She raised a foot and wiggled it.

"I didn't think I'd need them." She took a long drag of the cigarette and suddenly started to cough violently. The cigarette fell from her fingers and she stumbled towards the roof's edge. Her feet left the ground as she teetered on the ledge. Gravity took her and she began to tumble over the side.