A/N: I have writer's block on my lemon for 'Part of Life'. May the insanity of this fic cure that. Shiva be praised. Got inspired by a little video on YouTube called Squall vs. Vincent, Episode 10. It introduces Cloud and he is so emo. It's just a bunch of awesome randomness, but it was Cloud's disposition that spawned this. Check out the video...its hilarious.

Also, I normally try to tie my fics together somehow. Yeah, not on this one. Completely random. No affiliation with any of my previous work.

Disclaimer: Squeenix owns the world. I own nothing. And I'm sad.


Cloud had finished his delivery to the Mideel Medical Center and was making his way back to Fenrir. He had parked the bike on the outskirts of the town, the citizens having reconstructed to the best of their abiltiy after the eruption of the Lifestream over three years ago. The pools of the Planet's blood still dotted the town, wooden bridges and walkways having been erected to enable movement around the city. However, pedestrian traffic was all that was permitted within the city limits. Therefore, Fenrir had to stay put.

Walking through the sparsely populated town, Cloud smiled and waved at a few kids playing outside. His guilt had been lifted significantly since he'd been forgiven by his two friends who's deaths had burdened him. Unfortunately, his sadness held on to him, unwilling to let him go. He didn't know what to do to get rid of it.

As he was leaving Mideel, a slight tremor in the Lifestream occurred, causing a small eruption of the green liquid to shoot out of the ground like a geiser. Having been exposed to Mako for the majority of his life, Cloud thought nothing of it as he was soaked with the water. After all, it had been that same substance that had cured Geostigma roughly a year ago.

Straddling Fenrir, Cloud adjusted his goggles and revved the engine, a feeling of excitement coming over him as he sped off in the direction to where he would catch the ferry to the mainland and then back home to Edge. Thinking of the bar, of his home, of Tifa and the kids, his heart became light and full and a sense of elation swept over him, so strong that he had to pull over to the side of the road and shake himself.

"Why have we stopped?"

Cloud jumped off the bike and drew the Buster Sword component he had strapped to his back, pointing it at the throat of the voice. He nearly dropped the sword when he stared into a familiar pair of glowing Mako blue eyes. His glowing Mako blue eyes. This guy looked just like him! Exactly like him, down to the arrangement of spikes on his head.

"What the fuck?" Cloud exclaimed, staring at the person sitting on the bitch seat of his bike. "Who are you?"

"Cloud Strife," he answered, his voice carrying a sad, depressed tone. "You?"

"Cloud Strife," Cloud answered, picking his sword up and placing his hands on his hips. "You sure do got my look down. What are you, a cosplayer?"

"No, I'm Cloud Strife," the look-alike told him. Sighing deeply, he got off the bike. "I don't blame you for doubting me. I'm not good for anything. I can't help anyone."

Whoa, that sounded familiar. "Okay, okay, wait just a damn minute," he said, feeling very bold and strong for the first time in a helluva a long time. "You're Cloud Strife."

"Yeah."

"Where were you born?"

"Nibelheim."

"What do you do?"

"I'm an ex-ShinRa guard who thought I was an ex-SOLDIER who let my best friend die and then let another one of my friends die and got in the way as my friends saved the world...twice."

"Holy fuck, you're emo-Me!" Cloud shouted, pointing at his double. "When I got hit with the Lifestream back there, it must have separated the two of us. No wonder I'm so happy."

Emo-Cloud looked at him sorrowfully. "Nobody likes me," he said, plopping down on the floor. "I'm sad."

"Well, yeah, nobody likes you, because you're a fuckin' downer, Dude," Cloud told himself. Emo-Cloud looked up at him, glowing blue eyes dull with sadness and dullness. "You blame everything wrong with the Planet on yourself. No one wants to chill with a guy like that."

"But it's all my fault," Emo-Cloud explained. "I let Zack die, I let Aeris die, I even let Kadaj die. He was my brother."

"Okay, number one, ShinRa killed Zack," Cloud told him, ticking things off on his fingers. "Two, Sephiroth killed Aeris. Number Three, Kadaj needed to die, sadistic little Mama's boy that he was. Four, he's not your brother. He's a test tube baby. Your parents weren't Mr. and Mrs. Bunsen Burner."

"So I don't have a little brother?"

"Nope, only child."

Emo-Cloud lowered his hand. "I have no siblings," he said painfully. "Now, I'm sad."

"Oh Shiva," Cloud said, running his fingers through his hair. He reached his hand up. "Get up."

Emo-Cloud took Cloud's hand and let the happier man pull him up. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm sick of you," Cloud said. "You bring me down. You are such an emo-fuck, you make me not be able to stand my own self. We've been separated for approximately ten minutes and I'm the happiest I've ever been. Sorry, Dude. I gotta kill ya."

"That's okay," Emo-Cloud said, dropping his sword. "The world would be better without me anyway."

"Damn straight," Cloud said, running his sword through Emo-Cloud's chest.

Emo-Cloud simply stared at the sword protruding from his chest. "Ow," he said in a monotoned voice. "My chest hurts. And I'm sad."

In a flash of mini-Lifestream currents, Emo-Cloud was gone. Cloud grinned. He hopped back on Fenrir and tore through the countryside of the island, getting on the ferry and heading home.


Tifa was wiping down the bar, humming to herself when she heard the screetching of tires outside the bar. The doors slammed open and Cloud ran in, huge smile plastered on his face.

"Cloud!" she cried, startled to see his teeth. She was beginning to doubt their existence. "What happened?"

Cloud hopped over the bar and backed her against the wall, pinning her hands over her head and ravaging her mouth with his. His body pressed into hers intimately, letting her know in no uncertain terms what he wanted to do. He pulled back from the kiss, grinning down at her. "I've wanted to do that since that night at the well," he confessed.

Tifa smiled up at him, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. "Okay," she breathed out. "Why'd it take you so long, you asshole?"

"Had to let some things die."

"Are they dead?"

He grinned again. "Dead and gone and never to return," he answered, leaning down to kiss her again. She stopped him, releasing one of her hands from his grip. "What?"

"I've waited for you for all these years," she said angrily. "There's one thing I need to do."

He smiled again. "Anything you want, Teef," he said seductively.

She smirked and pushed him away, sending a fist to his gut and a foot to his face. "That's for making me think you didn't love me, you Emofuck!" she said, throwing her arms around him. "Okay! All better! Let's go upstairs."

Cloud spat out blood and grinned at her again. "You got it, Babe!"


A/N: This fic is over...and I'm sad.