addict noun A person who is addicted to a particular substance, typically an illegal drug.
addicted adjective Physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance
Dilaudid noun Brand name for a strong opioid drug, called hydromorphine. Prescribed for severe pain. When used intravenously, provides a very intense, powerful rush comparable to heroin. Very valuable to heroin users and, to a lesser extent, opiate users in general.
Dr. Spencer Reid knew every effect of drugs. He had seen them often enough in the field, in the wear and tear on the bodies he had seen as an FBI agent, on the killers he caught. He knew the dangers of being addicted, the physical and psychological effects. He knew drug use would ruin his body and mind. He knew it would get him kicked out of the FBI, away from the career he loved so much, with no chance of redemption, of another career. And yet he couldn't stop using the drugs.
He knew he was addicted. He knew he should be strong enough to stop. But he couldn't. He loved the rush. He loved how it cleared his always-racing mind. He had always loathed Sherlock Holmes' drug problem—one of the few things he disliked about the man, along with his insistence that he used deductive reasoning when it was clearly inductive—but now it made sense. Holmes, much like Reid himself, had a non-stop mind. The drugs made it stop, enough to let him rest. That was what Reid was addicted to, even more than the high.
His mind was his greatest asset, and yet he was tearing it to pieces with a stupid drug. He was revolted and disgusted, yet he continued.
The hardest part was hiding the whole thing from his team. It was hard to hide anything from profilers, and Reid took a particular thrill from outsmarting them, from acting normal and hiding the addiction for another day. He hated being an addict, but at the same time he loved it.
He had never wanted the drugs in the first place. Tobias Henkel had given them to him, with good intentions, intending to ease the pain caused by "Charles" and "Rafael." Reid had fought against it, but it was no use. Tobias had given Reid Dilaudid, the drug he himself was addicted to, and had gotten the FBI agent hooked.
Dilaudid. It was, in one form, a prescription painkiller. That made it all the more repulsive to Reid. He was like a teenager, hooked on prescriptions. But this was different. He took is intravenously, "shooting up," a term he hated but knew to be true. Luckily he had always preferred long sleeves—they covered the marks of the needle.
He had tried, more than once, to get off the drug. But he wasn't strong enough. It was a vicious cycle.
