Fairy Tale Romance
Once upon a time, there was
A princess kind and fair,
With eyes the colour of candyfloss
And silky swirly hair.
So many girls grew fond of her,
And many boys grew fonder,
But no man was quite good enough
For young angelic Wanda.
…
Once upon a time, there was
A pauper short and dumb.
Spots here, spots there, spots everywhere –
Spots even on his thumb.
The poor lad didn't look like much,
And brains he was without;
They all thought him a fool, and then
His speech removed all doubt.
His mama was a witch, as well –
Her schemes caused much distress.
(But against her son's own idiocy,
She was left powerless!)
Their house was rocked with scandal when
His papa left long ago;
Thus, few girls chose to flock around
That smelly dolt, Cosmo.
…
Once upon the time, the pauper
Fell in love – and oh!
If you could see the way she looked,
You would not tease him so.
When it came to appearance,
They were hardly on a par:
Her eyes would often twinkle
Like a bright but distant star.
Her smile lit up the darkest rooms,
She carried herself with grace –
Why would this darling look upon
His pimple-besmirched face?
Her hair was like a cinnamon swirl
And rather hypnotising.
He wished that he knew how to bake her
Treats most appetising.
He wished he could write her a song
That wasn't dull or sappy.
He wished he could do everything
That made her truly happy.
He rarely ate and barely slept,
Seeing Wanda and no other.
There was one tiny problem, though:
He still lived with his mother.
…
Once upon a time, there was
A clingy wicked witch.
She hatched a plan she just knew would
Go off without a hitch.
For years, her boy had been the only
Family she'd ever known.
Her husband fled when Cosmo was born –
The man had no backbone.
She'd raised her son without much help
Since he was just a baby.
She gave him all the love she had
And he returned it – maybe.
But then that princess came along
And started to confuse him.
He shunned his mother for a wench –
She didn't want to lose him.
How dare this siren steal her child!
He was hers and hers alone!
She would not let this foxy lass
Remove her from her throne!
…
Once upon a time, there was
A clawed and hairy beast,
Caught in a trap when it had tried
To catch its next big feast.
The wicked witch happened upon
This creature in the night.
She took it home and got to work
(For it was quite a sight!)
She set about with eye of newt
And threw it in a potion,
Her goal to make an object that
Was worthy of devotion.
And then the growling writhing thing
Existed no more, since
The witch had turned the beast into
A rather handsome prince.
…
Once upon a time, the princess
Fell in love – and oh!
She longed to hug the muscly chest
Of great Juandissimo.
She glanced not at that pauper, for
She had been swept away
By compliments and chocolate and
An overflowing bouquet.
He promised he would take her to
His palace made of gold,
Where he could give her so much more –
That is what she was told.
Completely unaware that Cosmo's
Pauper heart was breaking,
She ran off with Prince Charming,
With anticipation quaking.
…
Once upon a time, the prince
Did pamper his princess.
He promised her the easy life
Without ado or stress.
His home was filled with clothes and books
And ornate, fancy things.
The view was of a garden where
A girl could spread her wings.
Each day, he found a new way to
Showed off his palace grand.
He offered a more detailed tour
And took her slender hand.
But suddenly, the clock struck twelve.
The spell at once was lifted.
The prince leapt back and clutched his head.
His body shook and shifted.
His shaggy hair concealed the snarl
When fangs sprung from his mouth.
He saw pale Wanda, smelt her blood,
And then it all went south.
He lunged and scratched, he lost control,
He ripped apart her face.
Her beauty had been torn to shreds
And agony took its place.
She fled from that huge palace where
She had trustingly slept.
She tore her dress and wrung her hands
And hid her face and wept.
The pauper found her in the woods
And his mind was filled with fears.
His instinct was to rush to her
And wipe away her tears.
The happy princess was no more –
This girl was caked in blood.
He poked around the open wounds
And tried to stem the flood.
But sparks shot from his fingertips;
They made him more alert.
The ghastly gashes disappeared
And so did all the hurt.
He kissed her scars and watched them fade.
He let his feelings slip.
She clung to him, and she would not
Loosen her desperate grip.
They stayed this way for many hours.
Though he could not do much,
He nursed the princess back to health
With every tender touch.
…
Once upon a time, the princess
Fell in love for real,
For what the pauper lacked in brains,
He made up for with zeal.
On every single date, he found
A new way to alarm her,
But once the storm had passed, he knew
Exactly how to calm her.
They formed a perfect pair; what one
Needed, the other gave.
He thanked her for her patience,
And she told him he was brave.
The couple certainly turned heads,
And many a girl did ponder
The topsy-turvy fairy tale
Of Cosmo and of Wanda.
About that cad Juandissimo
Nobody knew the truth.
When asked, the princess shrugged and said
He'd been a naughty youth.
The beast and witch both disappeared –
The princess didn't mind.
The green-haired pauper made her whole.
Their hearts were intertwined.
The wedding day that followed was
A time for smiles and laughter;
As far as I'm aware, they lived
Happily ever after.
