MAJOR SPOILERS FOR TONIGHT'S EPISODE! (And probably, for the 'next time' of next week's episode) - Not with regards to Mary, but in terms of character death. I couldn't help myself, I was so shocked - I had to write something.


A Mother's Love.

Dinner was a sombre affair. It always seemed to be a sombre affair. Her Papa's eyes bored into Mama's, desperate for her to look at him; Mama wouldn't even glance in his direction. Edith had been doing her best to make polite conversation, but no one was having any of it. Granny tried to help her, but was wise enough to know when a battle couldn't be won. Isobel was probably wishing that she'd stayed home. Dear Carson presided over everything and her husband - well, Mary and he had spoken little since she'd found him with Mr. Murray, attending to business and plotting Papa's demise, no doubt. Tom still refused to dine with the family, having locked himself away with baby Sybil...Sybil...

Bile rose in her throat at the thought of it. Darling, darling Sybil. She was dead. Her sister was dead. Dear Sybil who never had a bad word to say of anyone, who saw the best in everybody, who loved to hold hands and plait her sister's hair, who'd always believed in what was good and in what was right. Sybil, who was the kindest, the most wonderful...she'd left them but a week ago and yet the world had grown so cold without her in it.

Licking her lips, Mary looked up from her plate finally, her eyes catching her father's. He looked so lost, and so young because of it. Sybil had been young, too young. She was the baby of the family. The baby who'd gone on to have her own baby - who herself would gone on, quite without a mother. Bile rose to Mary's throat again, it always seemed to these days. She'd had her suspicions for a few days, but she hadn't wanted to steal Sybil's thunder. She hadn't wanted to get her hopes up. Doctor Clarkson had confirmed it this morning - her hopes come true? Hardly.

"I'm pregnant."

The words, so quiet and lacking all feeling, were out of her mouth, before she'd even thought about them. Her eyes went back to her plate, but Mary could feel Matthew turn with shock. Papa frowned, glancing to his dear boy - oh, if only he knew what his son-in-law had been speaking of - and then back to Mary. A ghost of a smile on both men's lips, before all the recent events shook their confidence, put down their happiness and ruined the moment. Edith blinked, as did Granny and, of course, Carson looked most troubled of all.

Mary looked to her mother, swallowing - with a few nerves and still feeling quite sick. She waited, but Cora said nothing. She shouldn't have been surprised and it shouldn't have mattered to her, because how could a mother be pleased about something like that when the worst had happened. And yet, still - Mary had wondered, perhaps, if a certain word on the matter would be uttered. How enraptured her Mama always was by the news of a baby.

"Congratulations, Mary dear."

Her tongue hit the roof of her mouth uncomfortably as the words she wanted most from her mother came from another's lips. She forced a small smile to her lips in thanks. Naturally, Isobel was pleased. Her son was going to be a father, and she a grandmother. Cora already was a grandmother - and so far, it hadn't been the experience she'd so longed for.

Granny, so perceptive, looked to Cora to speak, but how could she? Even Mary didn't want to speak of it. She didn't know what had possessed her to make such a declaration in the first place.

"What wonderful news."

Papa kept his voice low but was clearly comforted and his wife had to clamp down her mouth, to stop accusations from shooting across the table. And God, did it irk his eldest. Mary didn't blame him, but still it was high time that he realised that, head of this house he may be, but that sweet child in a cradle upstairs was Tom's responsibility. To bicker over religion - it hadn't been what Sybil wanted. And Sybil should have everything she wanted. She'd been right. She knew just as much about God as any vicar...probably far more now.

"Is it?" The words kept falling out and she wasn't sure how to stop them. "It's all I ever wanted." She ached painfully, as she could see Matthew's body almost droop with relief. "- And now, I cannot think of anything I want less."

"What?"

She turned at Matthew's whisper. She tried to look apologetic, but it wasn't working. She couldn't bring herself to feel anymore. She was numb. Her lips felt dry but she didn't care. Everything was so wrong - she looked back to her Mama, a desperate frown gracing her face.

"I would be barren all my life, if it meant we could have Sybil back." Cora's nostrils flared as she tried to keep the tears at bay. Another losing battle, as her daughter's voice cracked tearfully. "I would give this baby for Sybil."

"Hush, dear - don't say such things." Granny said tightly, but compassionately as Matthew glassed over at the awfulness of it. At the awfulness of everything. Of what awfulness might yet come. Mary, after all, was not as young as Sybil was - as Sybil had been - and childbirth only became harder as time went on, didn't it?

"Why not?" She couldn't stop herself. "Wouldn't you?" She asked her Mama, not caring that she was crying, too, now. "She was the best of all of us! The best daughter," She sighed, an imploring look to Edith, daring her to disagree, "- the best sister! She would have made the best mother, if she'd been given a chance!"

"Stop it." A whispered plea on Matthew's part, that she shouldn't put herself down, that she shouldn't be too lively for the baby's sake if no one else's - Mary didn't know. Mary didn't want to know.

But she stopped. And all that could be heard was her voice hitching, just another reminder that here she was, breathing, living whilst Sybil...darling, darling Sybil...

Silence, and then...

"I won't let what happened to..." Her mother's eyes fluttered shut so she could say it, "- to Sybil, happen to you. I won't lose you, too." Mary's hand flew to her mouth, so sure that she was going to sob. "I promise."

It was everything she wanted, she supposed. Those words of reassurance. A mother's love - there wasn't anything quite like it and Mary's heart broke to think that baby Sybil would have to do without.

But, she knew that she couldn't break completely. Sybil Branson would have an aunt, at least, who thought her precious. Her gaze wandered over those around the table, all downcast, miserable. No, she'd have an entire family to think her precious. Her sister's cheerful giggle - those mischievous windows to the soul set in that beautiful face; Sybil was so desperately needed.

Her hand drifted to her stomach. No, how could she break now?

Yes, a mother's love was everything.

...and yet, even a mother couldn't make such promises.

Fin.


Reviews, obviously, are most welcome!