Never once. Not in Ri'ar's entire life.
Hard childhood in Elsweyr. Orphaned, lived on his own. Killed and stole and begged.
Came to Skyrim still young. Nords caught him at the border and about to kill him when Alduin attacked in Helgen. Nords don't like this one. Too much fur to be liked.
Learned he was Dragonborn and saved the world. Joined Thieves Guild in Riften and stole from everything. Joined Dark Brotherhood and killed anything that made a mistake. Joined Companions and became a werebeast (not really a wolf when he's Khajiit, eh?). Joined College of Winterhold and used magic tricks to kill. Was in Dawnguard and slaughtered vampires when they looked at Ri'ar wrong. He was in the Legion and stomped Stormcloaks.
They were right, but in the wrong way. Ulfric shouldn't have killed the High King and he shouldn't have started a war. Hypocrite. Protect your kin by killing anyone with a different opinion.
Even killed Paarthurnaax and joined the Blades. Biggest regret. Murdered his friend in cold blood for no reason. Didn't even like the Blades!
Always bad. Others call him a hero. Is no hero. Kills. Kills for money and revenge and because someone told him to. "Kill him." He does. "I want her dead." Will be done. "Take all his stuff." Be back within the hour. Why is this one a hero when others are criminals for the same deeds?
Always obedient. Like a dog. He does every order to the letter, even when he doesn't want to. Kill his friends, take from the poor, suck up to the high class. Anything you want done, he is the one to go to.
But he didn't ask for this.
Doesn't want the soul of a dragon, blood of the Beast, ears of the Listener, power of Daedra. Maybe he did years ago, when he was young and poor. Now, has house in every hold, his name known across Skyrim, more gold and power than he knows what to do with. He envies the farmers quietly growing carrots in their garden and raising cows and chickens. The merchants with a small shop on the corner with a curious name and will buy anything you got. Except stolen goods. Don't want to be blamed. A miner, even, day after day reaping iron from the rocks and shipping it off.
Anything simple.
Anything calm.
Anything where he wasn't the hero.
Years of battle. Years of death. Years of murder.
No peace. None ever.
