This chapter is written by FanofDaEdBoyz.
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AN: First chapter! Okay, this story is going to be like no other you have ever read. Actually, this may be like multiple stories you have read all smashed into one because this story, this account the story is on, is not by one person. Each new chapter will be by a different Ed, Edd n Eddy author and none of ones the show. (See how I worked in the disclaimer.) So this first chapter is written by me to start the flow of the story but it will for sure (and hopefully) drastically change so if you don't like it so far, then you may like a future chapter.
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The three Eds lay beaten and smooched on the ground by the creek. They were too exhausted and humiliated to do anything. The Kankers sisters had left them by they bank at least ten minutes ago after about four hours straight of molestation. It had been three years since they moved in and the shock and repulsion of each and every attack was as strong as ever. They could no longer scream they were too young since they were now fifteen but that did not make them feel any better, but only understand it more. Of course Ed and Double D (it would have hurt Eddy's pride too much) had told teachers and parents about them but none made any effort because they were boys and the people molesting them were girls.
"We have to do something about this," Eddy sat up with a start and pounded his fists angrily into the soft soil.
"We've tried, Eddy," Double D whined and curled up, Ed scooted over by his side and hugged him.
"I don't mean that reverse psychology crap and I don't mean telling on them because that does squat. I mean we really do something about those girls," the still shortest boy said grinding his teeth together, fists clenching on the fresh grass.
"But they are demons!" Ed squealed.
"And demons need to be vanquished!" Eddy retorted, standing up to his feet, every part of his body tense.
"You are more tempered than usual," Double D commented, debating whether or not he liked Ed's hug. Ed smelled and was so unsanitary but he was a friend who shared his pain. Eddy would not tell them. Eddy would not admit, but Lee pushed herself on to him more than she ever had. He was sure that he was the only one to have a hand being forced down his pants and massage him because if it were Double D or Ed than they would be crying right now. Eddy felt he could take it no more. Then an idea struck him. Ed might as well has sprung a plot of dirt above his head and said "Boing!" this thought hit him so hard.
"I know what we can do!" Eddy announced. Double D looked at him skeptically, expecting a plan to fail but he will be dragged along to help in regardless. Ed hugged his friend tighter and looked up at Eddy. "Ed, when we were finally rescued from that tree, where did you put the boomerang?"
The intellectual one's eyes widened in shock. He wasn't certain how the plan would work, but he could definitely see how the plan was going to go. But he also blushed at the thoughts of what the toy made him do. Everyone had seen them hanging that day and for the next week. It had been humiliating for both he and Eddy, but at least Eddy had been in worse situations like when he was caught in drag he put on voluntarily. Oh the painful jokes and gestures.
The dull one stood up and walked over to the edge of the water. He looked at his reflection, covered in lipstick marks all over his face. He didn't know how the boomerang would help but he agreed with Eddy, this needed to be stopped. He didn't know if the plan were to make him smart and think of a plan, or to use Double D and try to do the reverse psychology things again. Thoughts came to his head when May did what she did he could not shake off. He was scared of them.
"In the junkyard car, under the jiggle bed," Ed finally answered. Hopefully this plan would work.
"What are you planning to do?' Double D asked.
"Break off some boomerang splinters and slip it into their foods. The Kanker's opposites will never molest us again," Eddy answered.
"Oh but we need to test it first," Double D announced.
"What?" Eddy growled. "Why?"
"We have no idea if the boomerang would work if divided and if it would have any different affects. For all we know about the supernatural powers of that object giving them a piece of wood could kill them."
"Is that bad?" Ed asked making the water ripple with his finger. Double D turned on his oafish friend in shock.
"Of course it's bad!"
"I don't see why either," Eddy agreed going by Ed's side. The one source of morals stood their dumb founded. Was he hearing correctly? Did he just hear Ed and Eddy say that they wouldn't care if the Kankers died? They were people, just like he was, just like they were. Nothing, not even insects, deserved the fate of murder. The only thing that did was a germ.
"Well, breaking it may for all we know may kill us," Double D tried to reason with them with points they would pay attention too.
"Then we will have to get them to break it themselves. How affective do you think a reverse-Double D would be at convincing them to bite and ingest a part of it?" Eddy asked turning to Ed.
"Now wait just a minute!!"
"Affective as a quarter is to convince you," Ed replied.
"What?!" the other two Eds snapped.
"But they'd defile him more and he won't say no. So I say no. He's our friend," Ed smiled and dipped his feet, still with his shoes and socks on, into the water. He dug his hands in and started to play with the dirt.
"Thank you Ed for your support!" Double D said sharply in Eddy's direction. "Please, Eddy, that would have been suicide!"
"Only until they did what you asked," Eddy reasoned.
"Oh puh-lease. When did they ever do what I asked?"
"You never tried asking them naked."
"GAH!" Double D shouted in exasperated. "It doesn't matter!! We are NOT doing it. I'm going home to take pictures of the evidence on my body and document it so I can use it to bring them to court when legally able to! That is how I'm going to stop them. So I don't care how you handle this problem, just please, don't kill them!" He wanted nothing more than to ask them not to hurt them as well, but then they would want to know why he did not want them hurt. They couldn't know. When Eddy and Ed did not respond, he stormed off back to his house, back to his room. He cried while he took pictures of himself.
Ed and Eddy left to the junkyard to get the boomerang. Ed would carry it. It would be safest with him.
Ed dug his hand under the waterbed in the van. He groped around for the small wooden object. His fingers grazed something and for a split second he started his transformation but it left as quickly as it came. Ed smiled; it was the feeling of the boomerang. He reached a bit farther and clasped his hand round the edge and yanked it out before he would lose the memory of what he was doing. Eddy watched gleefully as Ed spasmed. They found it again but this time it was their weapon.
"Do you know what you are holding?" Eddy asked Ed.
"An imitation of an Australian Aboriginal instrument used most common thought to be a hunting tool made of by the crafting of elm with spiritualist designs," he stated matter-of-factly. Eddy growled, angered by both the fact that Ed was speaking more intellectually than he could understand and second, despite his hopes, Ed didn't remember anything about the toy's affect or they're plan. He probably didn't even know who the Kankers were. It was a completely different identity. Reverse-Ed was a computer. In fact, that was a good way to compare all their reverse selves in Eddy's mind, just different programming. Eddy couldn't remember what it was like to be in his other form, but by the descriptions given it sounded that he had no choice but to be motherly and nothing else. His character was the 2D opposite of his 3D self.
"Stay there," Eddy ordered. If Ed were Ed he would follow regardless, like a puppy, but the new Ed stood dormant. Eddy looked over the piles of filth until he saw the two things he wanted, a brick and a towel. He picked up them both and went over to his friend.
"Hold it still, I'm going to hit its edge with this brick, okay?" Eddy tried to make clear as if he were speaking to the normal Ed. The reverse-Ed eyed him oddly.
"I recall you in my past experiences," he stated. Eddy raised an eyebrow.
"You remember me?"
"That would be precisely what I just conferred to you."
Eddy ignored him and smashed the brick against the wood.
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First chapter. Next up is Nintendiehard.
