So I played with a randomiser with the original 24 contestants and I got some pretty neat results. Because I made some mini backstory behind my head about how the contestants got eliminated, I decided to make a fanfiction about it. It was much harder than I thought writing as Total Drama uses plenty of imagery, meaning I tried to describe a lot of things. I also tweaked a bit of dialogue so that it suits the person's personality more.

I read some other competition fanfics to get an idea of how they structured their work. I decided to use kamikaze2007's idea to use the lines as a cut to a confessional or when Chris cuts to commercials or the intro. I would also like to mention that most episodes mirror the original 26 episodes as:

A) I was too lazy to think of new ideas and episode names.

B) This season is supposed to be nod to the original season.

Without further ado, let Total Drama Return of Pahkitew commence!

Oh, and also, if you haven't watched Pahkitew Island and you don't want to be spoilt, then don't read the first paragraph. :/


A man with black hair, a blue shirt and olive pants stood at the beach of Pahkitew Island. "Last time on Total Drama!" Chris McLean announced with a loud voice. "Fourteen new victims - er...contestants battled for the one million buckaroos, here on this technology-controlled island. There were twins, evil people, actually evil people, an Australian survivalist, wannabe-mes and psycho people, but the zombie-paranoid Shawn ended up at the top! Now we return with the original twenty-two contestants along with Sierra and Alejandro. What drama will unfold? Will it be the same like the first season? Get ready for a nostalgia-packed adventure on Total! Drama! Return of Pahkitew!


The original twenty-two and then some sat on a crappy rugged plane heading straight towards Pahkitew Island. The big Canadian Owen sat next to Noah and Izzy. "You guys excited?!" He asked them.

"Yeah!" Replied Izzy, the psychotic ginger with a green two-piece.

"Oh definitely," Noah, the brainiac, said sarcastically. He fist pumped the air carelessly.

The goth girl was at the corner loitering and facing the ground. Surfer Bridgette and booty-dancing Leshawna walked towards Gwen. "You don't look well," Bridgette told Gwen.

"Since when was I happy to go back to Total Drama?" Gwen spat. "Stupid contract...where's your partying boyfriend?"

"Hanging out with DJ."

"...And then my buddy came back and saw the mess and I was like 'dude...'" The cowboy hat-wearing Geoff explained to big man DJ.

"So you're never going to throw a party like that again?" DJ asked him.

"Never again."

Stereotypical nerd Harold and not-so-stereotypical jock Tyler were talking to each other when the punk juvenile Duncan came along.

"Sup dweebs," He teased.

"Duncan, I thought you were still in jail?" Harold said, surprised.

"Eh I got a little help from Chris..."

"Ha, pathetic!" The voice of the devil rung behind Duncan. He turned around and met the eyes of Heather. "Don't believe it one bit. Do you think Chris would spend even a single penny to help one of us?"

"She's got a point," Tyler supported.

"Ask Chris when we get there then. Oh, and by the way, Alejandro is over there," Duncan pointed at the other side of the plane, much to Heather's annoyance. The good-looking Spanish contestant stood by Katie and Sadie, the best friends who wear the same clothing.

"How do you have your hair like that?!" The BFF's gasped together.

"Very special shampoo. Uses one of the finest ingredients such as-" Alejandro said until he was interrupted by another man with similar attributes.

"Oh you make me laugh," Justin interrupted. "Try to compete with my looks!" Katie and Sadie whipped their eyes back and forth between Justin and Alejandro, figuring out who was hotter.

"Please, I got burnt to a crisp by a volcano and didn't get exposed to sunlight for a whole year and I still look handsome. But alas, this isn't a competition of looks! Otherwise I would have already won."

While Justin and Alejandro were arguing Beth and Lindsay were playing a game of spy.

"Okay, I spy with my little eye, something that is very hot," Lindsay said cheerfully.

"Um, is it you?" Beth guessed.

"Correct!" Lindsay and Beth clapped together cheerfully.

"Oh come here!" A purple-haired stalker shouted. The girls stopped and looked at Sierra, who was trying to pinch Cody's cheeks. Cody was sitting trying to inch away from the woman's fingers. "Where are you going Cody-kins?"

"Just, um..." Cody tried to think of an excuse.

"He wants to talk to me, if you don't mind," Trent, the guitarist, finished. He beckoned Cody to the other side of the room. "Cody, you know how we deal with stalkers. You still remember what we did back when the Drama Brothers was a thing?"

"I know," Cody whined. "I thought making friends with her would make things better but instead she keeps popping up in my home at least once a week. It's killing me!"

"That's okay, maybe we can vote her off early if we're on the same team," Trent reassured.

Ezekiel was still a feral animal, looking almost the same except he wore his trademark beanie. He was crouching on the plane bench like a wild dog. Eva and Courtney sat beside him, moving away when drool dripped from his mouth. It was acidic as a hissing sound was made after the saliva impacted the floor. "Gross," Courtney commented.

Once the plane was above the beach Chef Hatchet, the pilot for the plane, left the cockpit and threw a bunch of parachutes on the floor. "Suit up," He said with a grin. Once the contestants strapped on their parachutes they looked through the windows and noticed the long drop.

"Honestly, this is probably one of the least scariest challenges we have to do," Gwen said optimistically.

"Uh, so who's going to jump first?" Tyler asked as he peered his head through the doorway. Heather took this opportunity and kicked him off the plane. The sound of screaming gradually decreased. Tyler was able to open his parachute but he landed on the sand painfully a second later.

"So you're still that type of Heather," Leshawna scoffed. "Move over stick girl." Leshawna dived off with an ecstatic scream. She landed safely in front of Chris. One by one the contestants jumped off and survived. Heather and Alejandro were the only ones left.

"Think of this as the Drop of Shame," Alejandro teased.

"We never did the Drop of Shame doofus," Heather retorted. She proceeded to jump off, followed by Alejandro.

Once Heather and Alejandro stepped foot on the beach Chris began to talk. "Welcome back originals! Sadly Camp Wawanakwa exploded so we have this island to compensate! We just so happened to come across this island and since it was remote and human-free, it was the perfect place for torturous challenges. So anyway-"

"Um Chris," Sierra interrupted. "I think you forgot to mention that this island is artificial and is controlled through computers."

"What?!" The other contestants said in unison.

Chris sighed loudly. "Yes Sierra, it is. Were it not for a specific contestant who should not be named, this island is electronically controlled. That means I can do things like this!" Chris grabbed a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. Suddenly the ground started shaking, frightening the contestants. "And this." He pressed another button and the winds became stronger and cooler. Snow began to precipitate on the beach.

"We get it Chris!" Duncan yelled. Chris pressed a few more buttons and all the disasters stopped. The contestants sighed in relief. Chris had a large smirk on his face. "I would also like to introduce Duncan since he just recently got bailed out of prison by the one and only, me."

"Oh what?!" Heather gasped, removing snow from her hair.

"Told ya," Duncan rubbed it on her face.

"Moving on, we still have the outhouse confessional, so you can still spill out some dirty little secrets."

"Ooo can I say one now?!" Sierra exclaimed excitedly. "Did you know that Cody-"

"Hush hush hush!" Cody covered her mouth. "Hehe nothing." He smiled awkwardly towards the host.

Chris looked at the two menacingly. "Say one more word and you two are off the island. Now follow me; let me show you your homes!"

Chris led them towards a giant treehouse. "This is where one of teams will sleep which we will figure out later." Alejandro opened his mouth but Chris pinched his lips. "And don't worry Al, you guys will find out your teams soon."

Chris pointed at the treehouse. "Made by one of the lovely teams last season, this magnificent structure accommodates up to seven people, contains no bathrooms, no electricity and a beautiful view of Pahkitew Island. Absolute crap." Chris then led them into a reasonably sized cave. "Now this shelter is cold, rough, open to hazards but can fit in a lot of people."

"Uh, open to what hazards?" Geoff asked.

"Oh you know, the robotic man-eating creatures that roam the island."


"Robotic creatures?" Gwen said in front of the camera. "Did Chris run out of actual living man-eating creatures?"


Chris finally led them to the campfire pit. "This infamous area is where the eliminations take place now!" Logs, stone and barrels laid on the floor as seats. "Now the reason why I brought you here was to assemble the teams. If you're name is called please step to my right!" The contestants showed no signs of excitement, except for Sierra.

"Gwen, Owen, Izzy, Noah, Trent and Lindsay," the six people who were called walked towards Chris. Only Lindsay stood at Chris's left while the others stood at his right. "Uh Lindsay, you should be there," Chris told the blonde, pointing at her teammates.

"But you said your right," She complained.

"Just go there!" Chris ordered. Lindsay walked over with her head down.

"Cody, Beth, Justin, Heather and Leshawna, go join your team," Chris continued. "Thus forming, once again, the Screaming Gophers!" The team showed little-to-no signs of appreciation.


I'm with these idiots again," Heather complained in the confessional.


"Next are the Killer Bass. They consist of Geoff, Bridgette, Eva, Ezekiel and Courtney," The five people called up walked (or crawled, in the case of Ezekiel) to the left of Chris. "Then Katie, Sadie, Duncan, DJ, Tyler and Harold." The six walked over, leaving Alejandro and Sierra remaining. Geoff cheered for a tiny bit, only to stop when no one else responded.

"Now, Alejandro..." Chris walked up to Alejandro so that they were eye-to-eye. Alejandro gulped nervously. Chris rummaged through his pocket and grabbed something unexpected.

A coin.

"So Al, heads means you join the Killer Bass, tails means you join the Screaming Gophers." Chris flipped the coin and landed on his palm. "Heads! Go join the Bass Alejandro!"

"Heyy..." He said awkwardly. His team looked at him seriously. Ezekiel, Katie and Sadie were the only ones with smiles on their faces.


"Guess I ticked off most of them," Alejandro commented in the confessional.


Sierra was much more excited, running towards Cody and hugging him. "We're on the same team again!" While Cody was crushed from Sierra's bear hug, he looked at Trent mercifully. He replied with a shrug and a confused face.

"Oh, and one more thing," Chris announced. "Chef is not - I repeat - not serving any food. If you're hungry, then you look for your own. Now go change to your swimming gear because every challenge is similar to the ones you did in season one. That means the first challenge is diving!" Chris walked off laughing, angering the already angry contestants.


No...more...food?" Owen whimpered in foetal position on the toilet bowl.


"This is going to be easy!" Sierra cheered in the confessional. "I have watched Total Drama Island at least one hundred and sixteen times so I know all the challenges and eliminations off by heart. First was Ezekiel, then Eva, then Noah, then Justin, then-"


The contestants stood between the treehouse and the cave.

"So whose home is whose?" Duncan asked.

"I dibs treehouse," Heather said out loud.

"Don't you mean we?" Leshawna added.

"Yeah yeah."

"Don't think you can manipulate us again," Beth told Heather.

"Um, didn't you guys hear Chris?" Harold said. "The treehouse can only fit like seven people."

"Then let the Killer Bass get it then," Sierra suggested. "Based on season one, they lost more team members much faster than us so after a few challenges they can fit there easily."


Noah sat on the toilet bowl facepalming. "Is it possible for Sierra to get any more stupider?"


"Attention everyone!" Chris said, his voice projecting from a loudspeaker. "If you don't get your butts at the cliff in ten minutes then all of you live in the cave! Today's challenge will determine where you are accommodated, okay?"

"No time to change, let's just go," Duncan motivated his team and they began to head straight towards the cliff. After a round of arguing from Leshawna and Heather, the Screaming Gophers decided to follow them.

Owen and Noah walked together closely. "So hot dog-" Owen panted.

"Noah," The guy with the brains corrected.

"I don't think...I can make it..." Owen went down to his knees and began to crawl.

"Owen if you can make it up there by yourself Chris will give you a vanilla sundae dipped in fudge," Noah lied manipulatively. Immediately Owen jumped back to his stubby legs and sprinted up the hill.

"That's pretty mean," Justin said disapprovingly.

"Oh please, anti-me. You can use your body to get anyone to do anything for you, but my words can bring someone down to the ground," Noah assured Justin.

"Then don't get out early then, okay?"

"Says the one who got eliminated after me," Noah muttered under his breath.

The Killer Bass were slightly ahead of the Screaming Gophers. Geoff and Bridgette walked together closely, reminiscing about their times back in Camp Wawanakwa. "Yeah, and remember that love letter note you thought came from me?" Geoff laughed.

"Don't be rude, that note was lovely," Bridgette said defensively.

"It was filled with my heart and emotion," Harold added, walking past.

"Harold, dude, why don't you try hooking up with Leshawna again?" Geoff questioned.

"I think it's time for me to move on with other women," Harold answered with his hand in his heart.

"Okay dude." Geoff slowed Bridgette and himself down so that they can talk privately. "Bridge, we're not gonna separate right?"

"Geoff don't be like that. Unless the worst thing happens, we'll stick together."

Duncan laughed hysterically behind him. "What is this one of those generic love stories?!"

"At least I didn't make a move on two women." Geoff retaliated.

"So? I'm in good terms with them anyway. Right Courtney?!" Duncan shouted the last line towards her ex-girlfriend, only to be flipped off by her. "See, she'll do worse."

Back at the Screaming Gophers, Cody ran towards Gwen to walk beside her. "Hey Gwen!"

"What do you want?" She stared at Cody intimidatingly.

"Look I just want to talk. Not love talk. Just, a normal, friendly talk. I wanted to do this now since I convinced Sierra that I left my underwear at the beach."

"Well that's one way to get her away," Gwen said, impressed.

"He, yeah. I use that excuse all the time."

"All the time?"

"Well, you see, Sierra has been going way too far with her stalking and she's been entering my house a lot of times."

"That's pretty serious. Have you tried to call the police?"

"Yeah...no..." Cody slapped his head for not thinking about that.

"Hello!" Trent pushed in between Cody and Gwen and relaxed his arms over their necks.


"Wow, usually Trent would talk with me and Cody would that," Gwen said, surprised. "I guess this season will be very different."


"Sorry, it's just that I haven't talked to you Gwen in a while, so maybe we can catch up?" Trent asked, targeting the question towards Cody.


"I just really want Gwen and I to be in good terms," Trent explained in the confessional. "The most I want with her is to be friends again. And that's the maximum level I'll go with her...Unless she says otherwise." Trent winked at the camera.


"Oh, um..." Gwen thought about it.

"It's cool," Cody said, backing off. "I did that several times so I guess it's karma!" Suddenly he heard the screams of Sierra racing towards him. "Oh man gotta go!" Cody began to sprint up the cliff.

Once the twenty-four contestants reached the top of the cliff Chris stood up from a lawn chair he placed, along with Chef. "Tsk tsk tsk, five minutes late. This a half hour show you know that right?"

"Who cares, can you just explain everything now?" Heather said impatiently.

"I care! This show needs the ratings. So anyway, the first challenge is very similar to the original one as with all the future challenges. The jumping off the cliff remains the same, except this time I can change the temperature of the water to freeze you, or boil you. The plus side of this is that there are no sharks this time."

The contestants sighed miserably at this news. Owen nudged Noah on the head. "Where's the sundae?" Owen whispered desperately.

"I think Chris lied to us," Noah replied.

"...Instead, I have placed temperature-proof robotic sharks to roam the waters!" Chris said enthusiastically.

"Shoulda seen that coming," DU whimpered.

"And because you guys didn't change to swimwear, well, this challenge is all the more harder. The rules remain the same, if you don't jump, you wear this chicken hat that is filled with shame and misery." Chris revealed a yellow rubbery chicken hat and made a chicken sound. "Now whichever team wins this first challenge, they get an advantage on the next challenge, which will be revealed later on."

Katie and Sadie looked over the cliff and saw the robotic shark infested waters. Katie gulped. "Who's going first?"


And that is the first episode! If you have any suggestions or criticism to this fanfic please post a review. I won't be revealing any information such as eliminations, plot twists etc.