I Remember

Our first date

He asked me out by my locker

I was surprised because we were just supposed to be friends

Later I was standing in font of my closest

Something hit me

I don't own a dress

I had five minuets till he picks me up

I threw on worn jeans and a t-shirt

And he acted like I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever saw

We walked to a grassy field

He laid out a picnic blanket

It was one of many

I wondered what were doing here

I wondered what everyone was doing here

That's when stars started to fall from the sky

It was like I was a fairy tale

I felt my face lighting up

As soon as the stars became the most beautiful

They stopped

Everything went back to normal

We got up to leave and as were talking

He leaned in and kissed me

I Remember

That became my favorite spot

I would come there when something hurt me

He would always be there for me

Waiting

I Remember how one night he took me to beach.

We watched the lights sparkle off of the boats and the water

How he causally leaned in

He said he loved me

It wasn't a big speech

But how it was just enough

I don't know how long we stayed like that

Looking at the boats on the water

Talking and laughing

I could have stayed like that forever

I Remember

That night

When I got the phone call

It was 2 a.m

I don't know why I picked up

I wish I didn't

I would have given anything

For him to not be there

For the car to have been there

I Remember

The doctor said he would be O.K

That he should wake up within 4 weeks

I believed him

That's why I didn't believe them

8 weeks later

When they said he wasn't going to make it

I Remember

Sitting in a chair beside his bed for days on end

Thinking

I never told him I loved him back

Now I would never get to

Everything we were going to do

Was throw away because of a drunk driver

I Remember

Thinking that the worst thing

Is watching someone who you thought was invincible

Shatter

I Remember

How after

I would go to our spot

Waiting

And try to talk to him

It never worked

He was gone and a grassy field Wasn't going to bring him back

I Remember

Years later

Never really moving on

Barley pretending to

I didn't go out on dates with my friends anymore

I didn't do Anything

I Now Know

That losing someone is agonizing

And letting go is a lie

Once you truly love someone

like I loved him

you'll never let go.